FabSwingers.com forum: How long before you can fart??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello all

This question is for everyone and anyone,personally I don't feel comfortable doing it, but that's me.. A female perspective would be interesting..its a funny one but we will see what comes of it.

Last sat morning I woke up beside this girl, she is lovely, slim, good craic and a tattoo from her tailbone to her shoulder, anyway

it was our second "meet" .

Like most people I had to pass a lil gas,and wouldn't dream of doing it in the bed, especially after the Mexican from the Friday night,so while I went for a Wizz I let the lil guy out, just a Lil one, no more than a burp type passing of wind, it wasn't the fart that bothered me, but the newness of the gal, sooo my question is "" How many times would you meet a new partner before you would be comfortable to pass wind in their company""? Be realistic it happens eventually, just when???

Anyway hope to get a giggle from this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello all

This question is for everyone and anyone,personally I don't feel comfortable doing it, but that's me.. A female perspective would be interesting..its a funny one but we will see what comes of it.

Last sat morning I woke up beside this girl, she is lovely, slim, good craic and a tattoo from her tailbone to her shoulder, anyway

it was our second "meet" .

Anyway hope to get a giggle from this

"
....she's slim....so I'd wait a few weeks. ...now if she had been a bbw...well that's completely different. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/16 13:01:08]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ah now don't be like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah now don't be like that

"
....its in the rule book....ask Leitrim. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

that's some book you got there! I deleted my 1st message by accident, :o oh stop stop I gotta get back to work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women don't fart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's some book you got there! I deleted my 1st message by accident, :o oh stop stop I gotta get back to work!

"
.....when Leitrim gets back from cleaning out the tardis....I'll have him send you the full rules on farting.

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"Hello all

This question is for everyone and anyone,personally I don't feel comfortable doing it, but that's me.. A female perspective would be interesting..its a funny one but we will see what comes of it.

Last sat morning I woke up beside this girl, she is lovely, slim, good craic and a tattoo from her tailbone to her shoulder, anyway

it was our second "meet" .

Anyway hope to get a giggle from this

This gave me a giggle thanks xxx

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

that's some book you got there! I deleted my 1st message by accident, :o oh stop stop I gotta get back to work!

.....when Leitrim gets back from cleaning out the tardis....I'll have him send you the full rules on farting."

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr69 still believes I NEVER do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hahaha glad it gave someone a laugh! I did do a little research there and you are correct, it seems girls don't fart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart. "

This is true

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"Hahaha glad it gave someone a laugh! I did do a little research there and you are correct, it seems girls don't fart

I fart. .but I'm also waaaaay too honest . Shut up rain!. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this thread was about farters..not fartees?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart. "

Looks like you're trying to squeeze one out there FPT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart.

Looks like you're trying to squeeze one out there FPT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your thinking dutch oven the 3rd or 4th meet is acceptable

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By *rutus83Man
over a year ago

naas

I don't mind a woman farting but I don't think women would be able for the essence of brut lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your thinking dutch oven the 3rd or 4th meet is acceptable "

Oh no never ever acceptable. I would never be back...., or maybe that's why it happens lol

I honestly wouldn't do it in company if I had a choice and kinda expect the same in return. If it slips out fine... No big deal but I hate ppl that are loud and proud. Just no need.

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By *rossflow daveMan
over a year ago

Mullingar

It's a sad arse that can't rejoice!!

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

I experienced sexual air locks when it's a tight fit, and has to come out eventually....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

women blow Rainbows lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I experienced sexual air locks when it's a tight fit, and has to come out eventually....

You should get a steam whistle installed!

Toot toot!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind a woman farting but I don't think women would be able for the essence of brut lmao

Essence de Brut?

Aka Scent of Man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart.

Looks like you're trying to squeeze one out there FPT

Hilarious but great ass all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello all

This question is for everyone and anyone,personally I don't feel comfortable doing it, but that's me.. A female perspective would be interesting..its a funny one but we will see what comes of it.

Last sat morning I woke up beside this girl, she is lovely, slim, good craic and a tattoo from her tailbone to her shoulder, anyway

it was our second "meet" .

Anyway hope to get a giggle from this

"
Oh I'm lol at this

Too funny

To answer your question....never

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
over a year ago

belfast

Definitely not before I've had sex.

Never while you're receiving oral sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your thinking dutch oven the 3rd or 4th meet is acceptable

Oh no never ever acceptable. I would never be back...., or maybe that's why it happens lol

I honestly wouldn't do it in company if I had a choice and kinda expect the same in return. If it slips out fine... No big deal but I hate ppl that are loud and proud. Just no need. "

Yep

Sometimes it slips out... We've all been there! But to just lift yer leg and let go repeatedly well that's a big no no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex"

True story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't fart at all!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Princesses do not fart fact !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol love this.. I wouldn't mind, but just not in the bed.

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

Never with a meet. .. jesus no I'd die ... ha

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By *Belfast_FellaMan
over a year ago

belfast

"Never with a meet. .. jesus no I'd die ... ha"

I'm sure yours smell like Coco Chanel anyway, Rain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol

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By *rutus83Man
over a year ago

naas

"I don't mind a woman farting but I don't think women would be able for the essence of brut lmao

Essence de Brut?

Aka Scent of Man!

Ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol"

I've done that

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol

I've done that

Would his teeth not smell of piss after?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol

I've done that

Would his teeth not smell of piss after?

I'll have you know my piss smells of roses chocolate and freshly baked bread

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol

I've done that

Would his teeth not smell of piss after?

I'll have you know my piss smells of roses chocolate and freshly baked bread

Ooooo... My favourite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep the gaseous asseous out of the bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But she had a tat . And thin... Keep it in!

Large and ugly. Let your wind blow free

Simplz

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"Never with a meet. .. jesus no I'd die ... ha

I'm sure yours smell like Coco Chanel anyway, Rain.

Oh yes hunni .. you know me so well already. .

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By *ain4uWoman
over a year ago

dublin

"But she had a tat . And thin... Keep it in!

Large and ugly. Let your wind blow free

Simplz

Not sure if you are serious or messin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh lordy.. Lmfao what a response.. So my thoughts on this seem to be in key with most... Tis a no no for sure, a Lil pressure build up when you are in the heat of battle is A OK

odor DE le brut... Nasty... It seems the only time it's allowed is when you are sharing toothbrushes.. Bahahaa

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

well it all depends on how intimate you've been.

im sure by the time you Cleveland steamered her it would be ok to fart beside her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But she had a tat . And thin... Keep it in!

Large and ugly. Let your wind blow free

Simplz

Tougue firmly planted in cheek

Not sure if you are serious or messin

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"well it all depends on how intimate you've been.

im sure by the time you Cleveland steamered her it would be ok to fart beside her

In fact it would be polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex"

I can tell you now some rainbows smell a lot different than they look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex

I can tell you now some rainbows smell a lot different than they look

HA!! So true!!

Especially if it's been raining spicy food!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex

I can tell you now some rainbows smell a lot different than they look

lol come on Friday you son of a....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is never, once u start everything is fair game then. Next she will be peeing while ur brushing ur teeth. Ur less ur into that.lol

I've done that

Would his teeth not smell of piss after?

I'll have you know my piss smells of roses chocolate and freshly baked bread

Mine smells of sugar puffs

lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sometimes mine looks like Heineken but smells like garden peas... Fresh ones... Bone of those frozen yolks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sometimes mine looks like Heineken but smells like garden peas... Fresh ones... None of those frozen yolks

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Sometimes mine looks like Heineken but smells like garden peas... Fresh ones... None of those frozen yolks

I didn't know you could even get frozen farts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is rapidly degenerating. ...next thing someone will mention ladies skid marks...

........wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is rapidly degenerating. ...next thing someone will mention ladies skid marks...

........wait"

I see what you did there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is rapidly degenerating. ...next thing someone will mention ladies skid marks...

........wait

I see what you did there!

"
.....sorry. ...it just. ...slipped out

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"This thread is rapidly degenerating. ...next thing someone will mention ladies skid marks...

........wait"

I recommend baby wipes, keeps every bum clean

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I really do not want someone else to fart whilst meeting I would feel sick. I don't mind pegging tho !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is rapidly degenerating. ...next thing someone will mention ladies skid marks...

........wait

I recommend baby wipes, keeps every bum clean

"
....don't leave home without them. ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I save mine for the bath. Tickles the balls on the way up!

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By *ertwoCouple
over a year ago

omagh

lol why fart an waste it when you can burp an taste it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh ffs this is "gas" bahaha everyone is missing the point it's not... is a fart is acceptable or not it is @ what stage do peeps become comfortable enough to not have to leg it out of bed to go for a Wizz sneaky smoke, a stretch, to check on the dishwasher to NOT have to let one rip... Especially away from your current partner, as in using above as a distraction! What needs to happen for you to be OK with heating the under quilt and have no reprocussions? Doesn't matter if it's casual or not.. We all know you get comfortable enough with some one @ some stage,enough to not hold it in until you feel like your gonna burp your fart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Dutch oven! You must, MUST always do a lift & waft with your furthest away leg as though you are just turning over. Apparently.

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By *tanonieMan
over a year ago

killorglin

Better off to have an empty house than a bad lodger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh ffs this is "gas" bahaha everyone is missing the point it's not... is a fart is acceptable or not it is @ what stage do peeps become comfortable enough to not have to leg it out of bed to go for a Wizz sneaky smoke, a stretch, to check on the dishwasher to NOT have to let one rip... Especially away from your current partner, as in using above as a distraction! What needs to happen for you to be OK with heating the under quilt and have no reprocussions? Doesn't matter if it's casual or not.. We all know you get comfortable enough with some one @ some stage,enough to not hold it in until you feel like your gonna burp your fart

"
.....I told you the answer in the first post.....slim birds....two weeks at least. ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Better off to have an empty house than a bad lodger

I'm gonna use that lol... My man

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By *aywhatnowMan
over a year ago

North County

"Women don't fart. "

Very true, they cough in their knickers

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By *arkedMan
over a year ago

Trim

"Women don't fart. "

Maybe they don't fart but (just like with men) I have sometimes heard some talking through their arse

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex"

This cheered me up today for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or as ash says, a jacuzzi in her pants (pop pop pop)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do we fart? Why do farts smell? Passing gas may be embarrassing for most of us, but it might make you feel better to know that it's one of the most common bodily functions of all time. Everyone does it, from Halle Berry to the Queen of England. In fact, the word "fart" is one of the oldest words in the English language!

Read on to discover more fascinating facts about about cutting the cheese.

What Is A Fart, Exactly?

Farts are caused by trapped air, which can come from many sources. Some of it is air that we have swallowed while chewing or drinking. Some air is caused by gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts.

A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink.

Farts make a sound when they escape due to the vibrations of the rectum. The loudness may vary depending on how much pressure is behind the gas, as well as the tightness of the sphincter muscles. (Source | Photo)

Why Do Farts Smell Bad?

The more sulfur-rich your diet is, the more terrible your farts will smell. Some foods contain more sulfur than others, which is why eating things like beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs can cause gas that will peel the paint off the walls! (Photo)

People Pass Gas About 14 Times Per Day

The average person produces about half a liter of farts every single day, and even though many women won't admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men.

If a person were to fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, they would produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb. (Source | Photo)

Farts Have Been Clocked At A Speed Of 10 Feet Per Second.

Though farts come out with varying velocities, we don't typically smell them for about 10-15 seconds after letting them rip. This is because it takes that long for the odor to reach your nostrils. (Source | Photo)

Holding Farts In Could Be Bad For Your Health

Doctors disagree on whether or not holding in a fart is bad for your health. Some experts think that farts are a natural part of your digestive system, so holding them in won't harm you. Others think that at best, holding them in can cause gas, bloating, and other uncomfortable symptoms, and at worst, repressing gas can cause hemorrhoids or a distended bowel. (Source | Photo)

For Some Cultures, Farting Is No Big Deal

While most cultures feel that farts should be suppressed in polite company, there are some cultures that not only don't mind letting them fly in public, but they actually enjoy it. An Indian tribe in South America called the Yanomami fart as a greeting, and in China you can actually get a job as a professional fart-smeller!

In ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius, fearing that holding farts in was bad for the health, passed a law stating that it was acceptable to break wind at banquets.

(Source 1 | Source 2 | Photo)

Farts Are Flammable

As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it's a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous.

In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines have caused explosions during intestinal surgeries! (Source 1 | Source 2 | Source 3 | Photo)

Termites Produce The Most Farts Of Any Other Animal

It's hard to believe that the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem on the planet. Termites fart more than any other animal, which produces methane gas. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, "Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to be between 2 and 22 Tg per year, making them the second largest natural source of methane emissions. Methane is produced in termites as part of their normal digestive process, and the amount generated varies among different species." (PhotoVia)

If You Hold Them In, They'll Just Come Out When You Sleep

Even if you clenched your butt and held them in all day, the gas will escape once you relax. What's more relaxing than sleep? (Source | Photo)

People Even Fart After Death

Here's proof that you can't escape passing wind, even after you're dead! Up to three hours after the body dies, gasses continue to escape from both ends of the digestive tract, resulting in burping or farting noises. This phenomenon is due to muscles contracting and expanding before rigor mortis sets in.

see if u woman didn't fart that means ur immune system isn't working in line to pass out the gas and the bad bacteria

Ya learn something new evey day

Because never think ur smarter them some1 because eveyday is a school day

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By *owdyBoobyMan
over a year ago

limerick

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex"

Love puffs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women don't fart!

They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

-Alex

Love puffs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

;o once it's just popping n not pushing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey peeps, how do you delete theses posts or will it automatically go after a certain time? Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't. Here they will remain forever as a token that once you graced us with your presence however fleetingly.

Or someone will dig the thread up in a few years and Munt with it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes the baby wipes are a must...nobody wants to see Klingons!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And a fanny fart from the women can be a bit of Craic .

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