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"Don't like the selfies I take in my new mirror " Ha well the selfies on your profile are dam good lol | |||
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"There's 0% space left on the sky box Oh the humanity Lol! Did you lose any old recordings? 2tb & we still live on 2-7%. Better delete all those TOWIE series'... " There's a series, the Last Panthers that could be eradicated | |||
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"There's 0% space left on the sky box Oh the humanity Lol! Did you lose any old recordings? 2tb & we still live on 2-7%. Better delete all those TOWIE series'... There's a series, the Last Panthers that could be eradicated " Yup, we have that unwatched too... | |||
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"There's 0% space left on the sky box Oh the humanity Lol! Did you lose any old recordings? 2tb & we still live on 2-7%. Better delete all those TOWIE series'... There's a series, the Last Panthers that could be eradicated " It was pants, i deleted the rest of it after watching episode 1 | |||
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"There's 0% space left on the sky box Oh the humanity Lol! Did you lose any old recordings? 2tb & we still live on 2-7%. Better delete all those TOWIE series'... There's a series, the Last Panthers that could be eradicated It was pants, i deleted the rest of it after watching episode 1" *deleting | |||
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"There's so much leg room in business class, I can barely reach the touch screen tv " Oh my | |||
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"I forgot to buy sweet potato fries and now have to make do with regular fries " Where will this cruelty end | |||
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"I have two groups of friends I'm meeting for drinks today and tonight so I will have to come home to change for the club. Why me?! " You poor fucker | |||
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"I have two groups of friends I'm meeting for drinks today and tonight so I will have to come home to change for the club. Why me?! You poor fucker " I know right!! And I have to go out tomorrow night with another group of friends. What is this world coming to | |||
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"I look too fabulous today, afraid to leave the house for fear of getting mobbed " Kaizer suggest wearing a blanket over your head It's worked for Kaizer and Whacko | |||
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"The 6 year old broke my laptop screen because he couldn't work out why it wasn't a touch screen like the iPad. " Oh dear, crap that!! | |||
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"The 6 year old broke my laptop screen because he couldn't work out why it wasn't a touch screen like the iPad. " Imagine that! A 6 year old not knowing the difference... Expensive lesson. | |||
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"No one to put suncream on my back." I've people to put mine on but they won't cause they all wanna see me burn!!! | |||
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"There's only Brown sugar do Kaizer's afternoon coffee God you son of bitch why do you mock the Manbeast so (shakes fist to the heavens) " | |||
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"The shops are all out of cream eggs " That's because they reduced them to 10¢ each last month... in other news my garage is full. | |||
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"There's only Brown sugar do Kaizer's afternoon coffee God you son of bitch why do you mock the Manbeast so (shakes fist to the heavens) " That lovely Polish girlie from last year must be gone. Haven't you trained (explained politly) how the man beast likes his coffee to the new one? | |||
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"The shops are all out of cream eggs That's because they reduced them to 10¢ each last month... in other news my garage is full." With cream eggs??? | |||
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"There's only Brown sugar do Kaizer's afternoon coffee God you son of bitch why do you mock the Manbeast so (shakes fist to the heavens) That lovely Polish girlie from last year must be gone. Haven't you trained (explained politly) how the man beast likes his coffee to the new one? " And who be you be | |||
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"I want to pause live TV but the tivo box is in the other room. I'm just watching the standard virgin box " Went back to sky for this reason lol | |||
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"Just realised new series Outcast was recorded in standard definition not high definition When it rains it pours " Is there really much of a difference!!? | |||
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"Just realised new series Outcast was recorded in standard definition not high definition When it rains it pours Is there really much of a difference!!? " WHAAAAAAT Yes Rosebush there's a world of difference | |||
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"Just realised new series Outcast was recorded in standard definition not high definition When it rains it pours Is there really much of a difference!!? WHAAAAAAT Yes Rosebush there's a world of difference " Don't believe you mister!!! | |||
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"Just realised new series Outcast was recorded in standard definition not high definition When it rains it pours Is there really much of a difference!!? WHAAAAAAT Yes Rosebush there's a world of difference Don't believe you mister!!! " Someday HD will arrive to Rosebush lane and you'll say "Wow Kaizer was right" | |||
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"2 of my 6pack have gone missing " Check under the fridge buddy | |||
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"When your hazelnut latte is minus hazelnut " There's a world shortage of hazelnuts caused by them hoors and their "hazelnut spread". Hazelnut me hole, sure it's mostly chocolate! | |||
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"I just cooked a pizza, but my pizza cutter is in the dishwasher.....have to throw it out now" That's what I call my missus... "the dishwasher" | |||
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"I just cooked a pizza, but my pizza cutter is in the dishwasher.....have to throw it out now That's what I call my missus... "the dishwasher" " Is that because you load her every night? | |||
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"Trying to decide between slim leg and regular leg" Heather Mills has the same issue every morning | |||
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"I just cooked a pizza, but my pizza cutter is in the dishwasher.....have to throw it out now" What's wrong with using a knife to cut your pizza?? | |||
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"Trying to decide between slim leg and regular leg Heather Mills has the same issue every morning " She has the advantage of being able to purchase jeans with 50% off. | |||
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"Trying to decide between slim leg and regular leg Heather Mills has the same issue every morning She has the advantage of being able to purchase jeans with 50% off. " | |||
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"When your hazelnut latte is minus hazelnut There's a world shortage of hazelnuts caused by them hoors and their "hazelnut spread". Hazelnut me hole, sure it's mostly chocolate! " I blame the squirrels | |||
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"When you get Gingerbread instead of Hazelnut in your latte oh the humanity " That's the most tragic one I've read so far | |||
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"Trying to decide between slim leg and regular leg Heather Mills has the same issue every morning She has the advantage of being able to purchase jeans with 50% off. " .....Paul mc cartney bought her a plane for her birthday. ... | |||
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"When you get Gingerbread instead of Hazelnut in your latte oh the humanity That's the most tragic one I've read so far " Words cannot describe the Manbeast's devastation It seemed like a good idea at the time | |||
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"When you prepare a sausage sandwich and discover there is no more tomato kethup Oh the humanity " ...ah that's nothing..I prepared a sausage sandwich and realised I didn't have sausages | |||
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"When you prepare a sausage sandwich and discover there is no more tomato kethup Oh the humanity " Or that you can't spell KETCHUP... | |||
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"When you prepare a sausage sandwich and discover there is no more tomato kethup Oh the humanity Or that you can't spell KETCHUP... " Too hungry for spelling accurcy.......... | |||
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"When you prepare a sausage sandwich and discover there is no more tomato kethup Oh the humanity ...ah that's nothing..I prepared a sausage sandwich and realised I didn't have sausages " Trade ya 2 sausages for one splurge of the ketch | |||
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"When you prepare a sausage sandwich and discover there is no more tomato kethup Oh the humanity ...ah that's nothing..I prepared a sausage sandwich and realised I didn't have sausages " | |||
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"Anyway it should be YR in a sausage sambo. " Stick yer Yorkshire Relish up yer blue hole | |||
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"Anyway it should be YR in a sausage sambo. Stick yer Yorkshire Relish up yer blue hole " Maybe that's what was on his nob?... | |||
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"I want to pause live TV but the tivo box is in the other room. I'm just watching the standard virgin box " Did anyone else do a double take on the words "virgin box"? Just wondering | |||
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"I got a new phone recently and the camera is different so still working out my selfies angles " Oh the humanity Kaizer had an awful experience over be weekend Recorded Saturday nights UFC in standard definition not HD....how cruel this world can be at times | |||
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"I forgot to buy skinny capucinos and can only have a regular one..god damn you cruel world!!" Shiver me timbers | |||
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"Have too go out and buy more courgettes now, my other ones, mis used, " How so? | |||
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"Ha Wouldnt you like too know;-) 3 guesses " 1.Mistook it for a small cucumber 2.Mistook it for a large pickle 3.You tripped & it fell into you | |||
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"Ha Wouldnt you like too know;-) 3 guesses " 1. Shiver 2. Me 3. Timbers | |||
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"Yes Very good for the eyesight, " Unless that's where you poke it... | |||
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"The shops are all out of cream eggs That's because they reduced them to 10¢ each last month... in other news my garage is full." You have a garage full of Creme Eggs ?!? Well, hellllllo *flutters eyelashes | |||
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"The shops are all out of cream eggs That's because they reduced them to 10¢ each last month... in other news my garage is full. You have a garage full of Creme Eggs ?!? Well, hellllllo *flutters eyelashes" Had, had...but I can get some more. | |||
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"The price of turnips are sky rocketing. " Huge surge in sales today for some reason | |||
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"I gave my Netflix password to too many of my friends, now I can't watch it tonight because there are too many devices logged on...sponging bast@@ds " Please share | |||
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"I gave my Netflix password to too many of my friends, now I can't watch it tonight because there are too many devices logged on...sponging bast@@ds Please share " lol I've changed my password and I'm taking this one to the grave | |||
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"When your morning latte tastes like warm breast milk " | |||
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"When your morning latte tastes like warm breast milk " Costa has gone down in Kaizer's estimation | |||
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"When your morning latte tastes like warm breast milk " The Polish woman's breast milk? | |||
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"When your morning latte tastes like warm breast milk The Polish woman's breast milk?" In her dreams maybe | |||
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