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First date horror

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By *oupleuncut OP   Couple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

Two years ago I got out of a 15 year relationship and basically hadn't a clue about dating. I took my friends advice and joined a dating site. I got chatting to a man and arranged to meet him in a local pub and then he suggested we go see a movie. I told him I would book and pay for the tickets. I arrived to the pub on time and nervously sipped my drink. He txt me to say he was running late and when he arrived he was sweating like a Peado outside a school gate and didn't look a bit like his pictures. He sat beside me and ordered himself a drink and I couldn't help but notice he stunk of stale BO. I knew I didn't want to be there but as a dating novice I didn't know what to do. He sat uncomfortably close and I chatted away and as I did he took my hand, lifted my finger to his mouth and began to suck on it I watched in horrified silence as he went to town on my finger. I pulled away my hand and gave it a sly wipe on my scarf and reminded him about the movie. We proceeded up the road to the cinema, I cringed when he held my hand in his sweaty grip. I collected the tickets I had paid for and when I turned around he stood behind me with a small popcorn and drink for himself. I spent the next two hours trying to fight off his octopus hands and lips, he just did not get the hint. I spent half the movie in the ladies toilets crying at the horrendous situation and vowed never to go on another date again. When the movie finished he insisted on walking me to the taxi rank (I'd have gladly took my chances of meeting Jack the ripper) and he proceeded to try and grope me at every opportunity, mauling me like a horny teenager. I hopped into a taxi, blocked his number and now I'm the butt of my mates jokes when anyone mentions dating....can anyone top that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this Mr or Mrs...

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By *oupleuncut OP   Couple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire


"Is this Mr or Mrs... "
Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this Mr or Mrs... "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two years ago I got out of a 15 year relationship and basically hadn't a clue about dating. I took my friends advice and joined a dating site. I got chatting to a man and arranged to meet him in a local pub and then he suggested we go see a movie. I told him I would book and pay for the tickets. I arrived to the pub on time and nervously sipped my drink. He txt me to say he was running late and when he arrived he was sweating like a Peado outside a school gate and didn't look a bit like his pictures. He sat beside me and ordered himself a drink and I couldn't help but notice he stunk of stale BO. I knew I didn't want to be there but as a dating novice I didn't know what to do. He sat uncomfortably close and I chatted away and as I did he took my hand, lifted my finger to his mouth and began to suck on it I watched in horrified silence as he went to town on my finger. I pulled away my hand and gave it a sly wipe on my scarf and reminded him about the movie. We proceeded up the road to the cinema, I cringed when he held my hand in his sweaty grip. I collected the tickets I had paid for and when I turned around he stood behind me with a small popcorn and drink for himself. I spent the next two hours trying to fight off his octopus hands and lips, he just did not get the hint. I spent half the movie in the ladies toilets crying at the horrendous situation and vowed never to go on another date again. When the movie finished he insisted on walking me to the taxi rank (I'd have gladly took my chances of meeting Jack the ripper) and he proceeded to try and grope me at every opportunity, mauling me like a horny teenager. I hopped into a taxi, blocked his number and now I'm the butt of my mates jokes when anyone mentions dating....can anyone top that? "

Was he a culchie???

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By *r8 mateMan
over a year ago

Clontarf

Wow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sucking a finger isn't a first date move then....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly. Horror or a bit of a scare is supposed to be good for a first date.

Secondly.

My worst first encounter with someone was a girl in the summer. I had gotten sunburnt the day before but was all right. Things were going well and we headed up to the apartment.

I slid my hands up her skirt and she wasnt wearing any underwear, we were kissing our way up them.

We got in the door and she was undoing my trousers, and I couldn't really help myself nor did I want to, I came before we got to any real action. She actually ran off when I started to cum to get something for my cum then came running back "oh my mouth"

Anyway, she said "what now?" and I said "now we take it to the bedroom"..

we had a hot and steamy romp in the bedroom for about 30/40 mins, it was very sweaty.

When we finished, I was fairly itchy and started to scratch at my skin and my sunburn started to peel off in huge chunks infront fo her.

So from her point of view, I got in the door, came all over the floor, fucked her then peeled my skin off, like some gross lizard or snake or something.

It wasn't a deal breaker though, about future meets, but when I think of it, I always wonder how creepy it must have seemed. I sometimes wonder does she tell people about the guy who shed his skin after sex.

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By *ust4fun555Man
over a year ago

city centre

I had a small holiday romance and on the last night she drank way too much at the night club. Wanting to cut my losses, I decided to leave but she followed me out and started to give out to me. A passing taxi amused by her performance gave her a toot and she started mouthing off at him. Unfortunately, she took a step back without looking and fell into an open sewer. After hauling her out I thought this night couldn't get any worse. I was wrong. After getting her home in another taxi she quickly got cleaned up and literally walked across the street to a hotel bar and proceeded to down 3 vodkas in less time it took to pay for them. What followed was a bit of a blur because it happened so fast but basically she got mugged not 10ft in front of me and despite my best effort to recover it her phone was taken. We did connect years later on Facebook but she had become very religious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in college I hooked up with this girl I really fancied on a student night out in town. We did some serious dirty dancing in the rock garden as it was and had a bit of craic.... She drove me home and I gave her a kiss good night and got out of the car.... I turned to say good bye (imagine me in the full headlights) and she leaned out to say that I had a stain on the front of my jeans.... I looked down and saw a dark wet patch.... I quickly said I must have spilt something and scurried into my house and into the jacks..... It was blood, I'd torn my frenulum (not actually for the first time due to vigorous dry riding!)..... We're still friends but that's it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More more more these are hilarious!!!

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By *ub_leitrim_guyMan
over a year ago

Out in the sticks


"Is this Mr or Mrs... "

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By *andyrackkyMan
over a year ago

South


"Two years ago I got out of a 15 year relationship and basically hadn't a clue about dating. I took my friends advice and joined a dating site. I got chatting to a man and arranged to meet him in a local pub and then he suggested we go see a movie. I told him I would book and pay for the tickets. I arrived to the pub on time and nervously sipped my drink. He txt me to say he was running late and when he arrived he was sweating like a Peado outside a school gate and didn't look a bit like his pictures. He sat beside me and ordered himself a drink and I couldn't help but notice he stunk of stale BO. I knew I didn't want to be there but as a dating novice I didn't know what to do. He sat uncomfortably close and I chatted away and as I did he took my hand, lifted my finger to his mouth and began to suck on it I watched in horrified silence as he went to town on my finger. I pulled away my hand and gave it a sly wipe on my scarf and reminded him about the movie. We proceeded up the road to the cinema, I cringed when he held my hand in his sweaty grip. I collected the tickets I had paid for and when I turned around he stood behind me with a small popcorn and drink for himself. I spent the next two hours trying to fight off his octopus hands and lips, he just did not get the hint. I spent half the movie in the ladies toilets crying at the horrendous situation and vowed never to go on another date again. When the movie finished he insisted on walking me to the taxi rank (I'd have gladly took my chances of meeting Jack the ripper) and he proceeded to try and grope me at every opportunity, mauling me like a horny teenager. I hopped into a taxi, blocked his number and now I'm the butt of my mates jokes when anyone mentions dating....can anyone top that? "

Very creepy but being honest I can't stop laughing my stomach is in knots here ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two years ago I got out of a 15 year relationship and basically hadn't a clue about dating. I took my friends advice and joined a dating site. I got chatting to a man and arranged to meet him in a local pub and then he suggested we go see a movie. I told him I would book and pay for the tickets. I arrived to the pub on time and nervously sipped my drink. He txt me to say he was running late and when he arrived he was sweating like a Peado outside a school gate and didn't look a bit like his pictures. He sat beside me and ordered himself a drink and I couldn't help but notice he stunk of stale BO. I knew I didn't want to be there but as a dating novice I didn't know what to do. He sat uncomfortably close and I chatted away and as I did he took my hand, lifted my finger to his mouth and began to suck on it I watched in horrified silence as he went to town on my finger. I pulled away my hand and gave it a sly wipe on my scarf and reminded him about the movie. We proceeded up the road to the cinema, I cringed when he held my hand in his sweaty grip. I collected the tickets I had paid for and when I turned around he stood behind me with a small popcorn and drink for himself. I spent the next two hours trying to fight off his octopus hands and lips, he just did not get the hint. I spent half the movie in the ladies toilets crying at the horrendous situation and vowed never to go on another date again. When the movie finished he insisted on walking me to the taxi rank (I'd have gladly took my chances of meeting Jack the ripper) and he proceeded to try and grope me at every opportunity, mauling me like a horny teenager. I hopped into a taxi, blocked his number and now I'm the butt of my mates jokes when anyone mentions dating....can anyone top that?

Was he a culchie???"

What's a culchie got to do with being a weirdo??

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Funny reads

Just alone the idea of going to the cinema on a first date is hilarious!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple we met on fab came to our house for an overnight stay. It quickly became apparent that he was unable to get an erection (some medical condition) but he said he gave really good oral... so I said 'Go on then, show me.' After about 20 minutes, he still hadn't managed to make any impression. I suggested he could stop now. He then asked if I'd like it better if he took his teeth out!!

His missus meanwhile was doing a good impersonation of a corpse.

We re-named them 'Null & Void'.

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin


"Funny reads

Just alone the idea of going to the cinema on a first date is hilarious! "

Damn right! Mistake number one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple we met on fab came to our house for an overnight stay. It quickly became apparent that he was unable to get an erection (some medical condition) but he said he gave really good oral... so I said 'Go on then, show me.' After about 20 minutes, he still hadn't managed to make any impression. I suggested he could stop now. He then asked if I'd like it better if he took his teeth out!!

His missus meanwhile was doing a good impersonation of a corpse.

We re-named them 'Null & Void'. "

Right own up who else is looking through the veris trying to pick out which couple it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"he then asked if I'd like it better if he took his teeth out!!

His missus meanwhile was doing a good impersonation of a corpse.

We re-named them 'Null & Void'.

Right own up who else is looking through the veris trying to pick out which couple it was "

... and they didn't even give us a veri!!!

Don't know what I would have said if I'd decided to give them one. Doubt if they would have published it, anyway!

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By *oupleuncut OP   Couple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire


"Funny reads

Just alone the idea of going to the cinema on a first date is hilarious!

Damn right! Mistake number one "
lol I know, I learned a valuable lesson, cinema first dates are a definite no no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More of a creepy online one this. Years ago long before you had pictures on sites on phones or by email I chatted a woman on a swinging site who lived down the south east. We chatted about sex but also lots of other stuff. After months I suggested meeting up and she agreed but worried "if we didn't like each other ". I reassured her we would just chat and have dinner as friends.

On the agreed day I drove to wexford (before the motorway ) and sweltered in 28 degree heat at multiple road works stops before getting to the hotel.

She arrived and gave me a wet fish handshake glared at me and said "your nothing like your photo ". Now I hadn't sent her a photo because you couldn't back then but she just kept repeating over and over how disappointed she was I had "deceived her " . She walked out after 15 minutes leaving me totally stunned at what had happened.

Over the next few weeks she kept sending me messages saying how much I had disappointed her. I was really stunned and kept quiet about it not knowing what to say or do.

About six weeks later I was chatting another woman and we were talking about bad experiences. Reluctantly I told her mine and she replied "Oh that's french kiss " . I asked her how she knew and she told me she did that to every guy she met. Apparently it was revenge because her ex had left her for a woman he met online.

When the woman next taunted me about been "disappointed " I told her what I found out. She screamed abuse and disappeared.

So that's my worst!

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By *oupleuncut OP   Couple
over a year ago

dun laoghaire


"More of a creepy online one this. Years ago long before you had pictures on sites on phones or by email I chatted a woman on a swinging site who lived down the south east. We chatted about sex but also lots of other stuff. After months I suggested meeting up and she agreed but worried "if we didn't like each other ". I reassured her we would just chat and have dinner as friends.

On the agreed day I drove to wexford (before the motorway ) and sweltered in 28 degree heat at multiple road works stops before getting to the hotel.

She arrived and gave me a wet fish handshake glared at me and said "your nothing like your photo ". Now I hadn't sent her a photo because you couldn't back then but she just kept repeating over and over how disappointed she was I had "deceived her " . She walked out after 15 minutes leaving me totally stunned at what had happened.

Over the next few weeks she kept sending me messages saying how much I had disappointed her. I was really stunned and kept quiet about it not knowing what to say or do.

About six weeks later I was chatting another woman and we were talking about bad experiences. Reluctantly I told her mine and she replied "Oh that's french kiss " . I asked her how she knew and she told me she did that to every guy she met. Apparently it was revenge because her ex had left her for a woman he met online.

When the woman next taunted me about been "disappointed " I told her what I found out. She screamed abuse and disappeared.

So that's my worst! "
sweet bejesus

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