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cheer me up ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok...bust my knee today... Out of action ...can't drive ...bored already...

Tell a few feckin jokes or something...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ermmmmm.... Pressure.... Can't think.

Oh yes,

Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooovies!

(Sorry, I learn my jokes from 10/11 year olds. )

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ermmmmm.... Pressure.... Can't think.

Oh yes,

Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooovies!

(Sorry, I learn my jokes from 10/11 year olds. )"
...it's a start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's brown and sticky?"

A stick?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's brown and sticky?

A stick?"

Top of the class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's brown and sticky?"

Pmsl. Love that joke!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why did the egg blush....

Someone saw its yoke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not jokes but I've made an executive decision to travel to Disneyland soon!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, Google Ant and Dec on Celebrity Juice. It's from maybe 2/3 years ago.

It's the one where Keith gets them to do some challenges. Watch until the end with the naked chef.

If that doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry when a large dildo flies out & hits their windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother says to the children "That was a big insect". To which the 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fly with a cock that size!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A daughter asked her mother, "Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'?" Her mom replied, "Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe pretzels are knot bread...

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By *ig al100Man
over a year ago

Drogheda

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? OUCH

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How ironic. ...

Elvis had all them No1's

And a No2 killed him....

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I have a sore fanny...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a sore fanny...lol"
.....sore in a good way we trust. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C, E flat & G walk into a bar...

The barman says "get out, we don't serve minors..."

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"I have a sore fanny...lol.....sore in a good way we trust. .. "

Oh yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a sore fanny...lol.....sore in a good way we trust. ..

Oh yes "
...we're far too polite to ask for details. ..

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By *ig al100Man
over a year ago

Drogheda

Why is your fandango sore petal

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By *ortidanMan
over a year ago

Moira


"Not jokes but I've made an executive decision to travel to Disneyland soon!! "

Florida or paris, i'm goin florida at end of july

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's red and bad for your teeth

A brick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paris. Total impulse decision!

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By *ortidanMan
over a year ago

Moira


"Paris. Total impulse decision!"

They're the best kinda decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"C, E flat & G walk into a bar...

The barman says "get out, we don't serve minors...""
...aah...fellow minstrels...

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By *ittleman300Man
over a year ago

tralee

Saw a film advertised last night called the tractor, don't know if its any good, only got to see the trailer

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By *rutus83Man
over a year ago

naas

[Removed by poster at 28/04/16 11:58:20]

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By *rutus83Man
over a year ago

naas

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Why is 88 better than 69?

A: Because you get ate twice.

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