FabSwingers.com forum: Bored

By *olita xx OP Woman
over a year ago

derry

Watching breaking dawn having a photo session lol how random ? Someone tell me a joke please ??

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By *arry and AnnCouple
over a year ago

Louth

My grandad told me I rely too much on today's technology..

So I turned off his life support

Grim, I know.. but made evil me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My then girlfriend once told me that she was worried about my obsession with the 60s band 'the monkeys' I thought she wasn't serious.

Then I saw her face.........

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By *bsolute gentMan
over a year ago

county Cork

Went to the doctor recently complaining of premature ejaculation.....told him my wife was pissed off coz it really gets on her tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**Disclaimer: Shit joke**

A man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen credit cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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By *olita xx OP Woman
over a year ago

derry

Brilliant folks

))

Man walks into a library

Man : hi there gone give me a bag of chips and a Coke please ?

Librarian : emmm this is a library son

Man : oh shit sorry then whispers ( can I have a bag of chips and a Coke please )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching breaking dawn having a photo session lol how random ? Someone tell me a joke please ?? "

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch

More pics pocket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you heard about them viagra eyedrops? Don't do fuck all downstairs but they make you look hard

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I went to the doctor with a pain in my arm. He told me I'd have to stop masturbating. "Is that because it's causing the pain in my arm?" I asked. "No" he said, "it's just freaking the secretary out"

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

"I went to the doctor with a pain in my arm. He told me I'd have to stop masturbating. "Is that because it's causing the pain in my arm?" I asked. "No" he said, "it's just freaking the secretary out" "

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By *olita xx OP Woman
over a year ago

derry

"Watching breaking dawn having a photo session lol how random ? Someone tell me a joke please ??

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch

More pics pocket

My daughter told me that one last week lol love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This day 5 years ago I asked the most beautiful woman I had ever seen out on a date. Today I asked her to marry me.

She said no both times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guy goes to Dr and after his treatment the Dr says id give ya 6 months to live...oh and here is your bill...guy says I will never be able to pay that bill in 6 months and the Dr says ok.. I will give ya another 6 months

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By *ake2891Man
over a year ago

cork

My friend David had his ID stolen the other day, now we just call him Dave

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By *ickirishallsortsMan
over a year ago

Lickie Manor

A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms.

So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it.

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By *ake2891Man
over a year ago

cork

Interviewer: So why do you think you'd be a good waiter?

Me: let's just say.. I bring a lot to the table

Interviewer: Holy sh*t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what if I can't spell armageden. It's not the end of the world

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

A man came home to his wife with two black eyes. She asked him how he got them. He explained that as he was getting on the bus be noticed the lady in front of him had her dress stuck in between her bum cheeks so he politely pulled it out. She instantly turned around and belted him, leaving him with a black eye. "Ok" said the wife, "but what happened the other eye?" "Well", says he, "I figured she must like it that way so when she turned around I pushed it back in again!"

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By *rutus83Man
over a year ago

naas

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love walking into book stores and saying, I'm looking for the book facing rejection without killing. Do you have it?

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

A man asked in the bookshop if the book he had ordered about living with a small penis had arrived. The assistant said "I don't think it's in yet".

"Yes, that's the one"

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By *aftdave1Man
over a year ago

limerick

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree ???

Hold on to your nuts,this is no ordinary blow job

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By *aftdave1Man
over a year ago

limerick

Sex is like maths

Add a bed,subtract the clothes,divide the legs,and pray you don't multiply !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why did the semen cross the road?

because I wore the wrong socks today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I boarded an airplane and took my seat. As I settled in, I glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

I soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation I blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of Europe Convention in London"

I swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to me, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain my composure, I calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" I said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,

when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men from Scotland who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

"Tonto," I said, "Tonto McTavish, but my friends call me Paddy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit.

The zit will wait till your 12 before it comes on your face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus walks into an Inn throws 3 nails on the counter and says "can u put me up for the night"

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By *olita xx OP Woman
over a year ago

derry

"My grandad told me I rely too much on today's technology..

So I turned off his life support

Grim, I know.. but made evil me laugh

Lol nice

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By *rash_pandaMan
over a year ago

Dublin

What's worse than a dead dog on your piano?....

An infected pussy on your organ!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms.

So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus walks into an Inn throws 3 nails on the counter and says "can u put me up for the night" "

Hahahahahahaha actually laughed loud at this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I boarded an airplane and took my seat. As I settled in, I glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

I soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat... As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation I blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of Europe Convention in London"

I swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to me, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain my composure, I calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" I said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,

when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men from Scotland who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

"Tonto," I said, "Tonto McTavish, but my friends call me Paddy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

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