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The Haka

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By *arky90 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Killarney

Just seen this on fb and thought I'd share it...

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The IRB Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

1.. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.

2. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.

3.. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

4.. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

5.. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

6.. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament.

7.. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

8.. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.

9.. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.

10.. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

11.. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (much to the delight of the WELSH) and burn the officials.

12.. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK.

13.. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion following representations from the RSPCA.

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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago

otherside of nowhere

This gave me a good giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

brilliant op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good.

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By *iktikiCouple
over a year ago

city centre

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Class

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By *ierycrackWoman
over a year ago

SOMEWHERE ELUSIVE........AND HOT!!!

Hilarious reading and still laughing here

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By *amollieCouple
over a year ago

Dublin

very good......excellent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saw it ourselves but still makes me laugh. Poor welsh

Tomcat

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

Very funny post

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By *arkedMan
over a year ago

Trim

Great post

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By *eanontiWoman
over a year ago

Limerick

Best of them I've seen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have seen this one before. Think it was doing the rounds on Twitter for the 2011 RWC.

Very witty.....

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

Excellent

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