FabSwingers.com forum: Soft dom suggestions needed!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My new play-partner has invited me for an overnight stay tomorrow, and she asked me today if I'm ok with her using her blindfolds, to which I of course replied "Hell yes!

To give some back-story, she's basically been living in celibacy for the last decade before she met me, as her past boyfriends made her extremely insecure. Knowing her story makes me feel quite honoured that she's showing me this level of trust.

We're still in the process of exploring one another, and she's very submissive (but not very sexually experienced), but I'm not very experienced dom (and I'm more sub myself).

Anyone got any tips on how to proceed with exploring her limits (and mine), without too much risk of pushing it too far? I know she loves it when I bite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The good father would advise you to talk to her , get a feel for what she likes and what she feels comfortable trying

No point turning up with whips chains and a gimp suit if she just likes biting

Fr C

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She just informed me she owns handcuffs, and enjoy being gagged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She just informed me she owns handcuffs, and enjoy being gagged.

Go from there but to go further talk to her

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By *ohnbi01Man
over a year ago

tipperary

Go gently.

I have been sub on many occasions.

The fact she is submitting to you is her way of placing her trust in you. It is not easy to submit to someone fully. Massive respect and trust needed.

Before it happens, talk and ask her what she expects of you, how far you bring the scenario and hit on a safe word. The safe word stops play no matter what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk talk talk! First find out what totally turns her on!

So many different types of the dom sub culture.

Be very careful! She prob thinks a dom is the cristian gray type thingy! Which is not really dom sub play.

Thats bdsm....any way talk and ask her what is the absolute no nos! And get a safe word.

Then go for it

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By *uaveGentMan
over a year ago

dublin

Red light / Green light subs game is a nice soft dom game to start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She just informed me she owns handcuffs, and enjoy being gagged.

Make sure to take a big holdall...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tie her up and give me a shout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First talk about her limits.

Consider what you are happy with.

Make a plan in your head.

Be assertive.

Build up slowly.

Let yourself take control.

Make her powerless.

Make her cum lots before you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My new play-partner has invited me for an overnight stay tomorrow, and she asked me today if I'm ok with her using her blindfolds, to which I of course replied "Hell yes!

We're still in the process of exploring one another, and she's very submissive (but not very sexually experienced), but I'm not very experienced dom (and I'm more sub myself).

Anyone got any tips on how to proceed with exploring her limits (and mine), without too much risk of pushing it too far? I know she loves it when I bite.

"
you dont have to be an experience dom to take control its not about whipping and bullying its about knowing and caring what pleasure your giving her!

eve

good luck but keep asking her throughout is that ok!

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By *auraxxWoman
over a year ago

east

As already suggested the green yellow red idea.

Green - willing to please

Yellow - I'm enjoying my limits being pushed but I'm nervous and struggling

Red - too much, stop immediately

Throughout your fun ask her to name her colour... make it dommy "what's your colour slut?" "You where. .you're always green. I need to break you more" etc

As a sub I personally prefer to be at yellow for a lot of play. It's a mental challenge.

Don't ask her too much as it shows a lack of confidence in what you're doing and may loose your dom status in her mind slightly. Ask when needed or at the end of a particular activity.

Have fun and explore!!

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

Having discussed boundaries and safe words etc I think your first step is experimentation without any toys, cuffs etc. So much can be achieved by holding someone down or the placing of your hands in the right place on her body. Discuss slapping or spanking as part of the reprimanding etc.

It's important to take things slowly and if you find something she enjoys work with that and expand from it. I'd also suggest eye to eye contact can be very hot for both when 'in the right zone'.

Enjoy!!

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

So much good advice there from all the above talking is the key knowing what she likes how far she has gone, don't tear in Like a bull not yet anyway. reassurance that u have her interest at heart after pushing her a bit remember to bring her down again soothing a spanked arse or cuddling after an intence orgasam. Something else u could try is to push her boundaries when ur not there like set her tasks to complete excite her that when u meet she's happy to please u there has to be rewards as well as punishment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has been one of the most informative threads on this subject I have seen on here. Taking notes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As already suggested the green yellow red idea.

Green - willing to please

Yellow - I'm enjoying my limits being pushed but I'm nervous and struggling

Red - too much, stop immediately

Throughout your fun ask her to name her colour... make it dommy "what's your colour slut?" "You where. .you're always green. I need to break you more" etc

As a sub I personally prefer to be at yellow for a lot of play. It's a mental challenge.

Don't ask her too much as it shows a lack of confidence in what you're doing and may loose your dom status in her mind slightly. Ask when needed or at the end of a particular activity.

Have fun and explore!!"

I'm liking this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm loving this thread!

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By *andyblokeMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Good communication between both parties is key to this whole adventure and being a dominant man isn't about being a brute and imposing your will on anybody, it's about being in control of what's happening and yourself at all times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good communication between both parties is key to this whole adventure and being a dominant man isn't about being a brute and imposing your will on anybody, it's about being in control of what's happening and yourself at all times "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having discussed boundaries and safe words etc I think your first step is experimentation without any toys, cuffs etc. So much can be achieved by holding someone down or the placing of your hands in the right place on her body. Discuss slapping or spanking as part of the reprimanding etc.

It's important to take things slowly and if you find something she enjoys work with that and expand from it. I'd also suggest eye to eye contact can be very hot for both when 'in the right zone'.

Enjoy!!

Oh Mr Wilder

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

Great thread folks. ..nice to see some positive and helpful advice.

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By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

To be honest with you if she is sub and you are sub, as you have said, then you might need to get an actual Dom in to help you out.

If you're truly not Dominant then i can't see that game working.

I have tried to play the sub role but every time my dominant streak came out and eventually broke every Dom I was trying to be sub for...

I would get frustrated and end up taking control.. (like i do in everything in my life)

So now i know i still like dominant men, but i'm certainly not submissive.

Best of luck in your exploration and above all dont get too bogged down in it, have fun!

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

It's important to take things slowly and if you find something she enjoys work with that and expand from it. I'd also suggest eye to eye contact can be very hot for both when 'in the right zone'.

Enjoy!!

Oh Mr Wilder

jilly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is don't play with insecure or emotionally unstable girls.

Wanting to be dominated after 10 years of celibacy is a red flag to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read back. If you have already met a few times it's probably . I was jumping the gun.

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By *exytvlegsTV/TS
over a year ago

North co dublin Ireland

I have been both sub and Dom take you time and talk and talk and it will some of the best fun you with ever have get it right from the start

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