FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Ireland

Friend or foe??

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just got off the phone to an old friend

After 30+ years of friendship, this guy is really starting to annoy me.

Over the last year or so, he's turned into the cranky, begrudging old fart that we all swore we'd never be.

I've told him he's becoming hard work but that only makes him more of an arse.

Anyone else ever tire of an longterm friendship?

What would you do about it? Cut all ties? persevere?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got off the phone to an old friend

After 30+ years of friendship, this guy is really starting to annoy me.

Over the last year or so, he's turned into the cranky, begrudging old fart that we all swore we'd never be.

I've told him he's becoming hard work but that only makes him more of an arse.

Anyone else ever tire of an longterm friendship?

What would you do about it? Cut all ties? persevere?

"
...call him out on it... It's what a friend would..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop making the effort to see him if it's getting you down, if he's bothered about your friendship he will make an effort, if not you stop seeing each other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stop making the effort to see him if it's getting you down, if he's bothered about your friendship he will make an effort, if not you stop seeing each other. "

That's good advice and would work for most situations.

In this situation though, he lives in the UK and most of our contact is by phone. Specifically me ringing him, as calls for me to the UK are free.

If I stopped calling, I'd be cutting him off altogether.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he's got shit goin on in his life and needs someone to moan to, ain't that what friends are for? Go to the UK, take him out for a weekend session and all will be sorted...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe he's got shit goin on in his life and needs someone to moan to, ain't that what friends are for? Go to the UK, take him out for a weekend session and all will be sorted..."

Just came back form UK on Sunday. Spent a lot of time with him.

He does have shit going on, you're right about that. He has health issues. Most caused by his lifestyle choices and the resolutions lie in his hands. I can listen to that kind of thing because I am concerned about his health but the constant sniping he sends in my direction are really starting to get me down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over 30 years+ of a friendship, it's a long time, I wouldn't end it! Maybe you need to spend less time on the phone to him & try to let all the sniping he does go over your head!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you have a few choices then, tell him to shut the fuck up that your sick of his moaning and that its time to sort his life out or you could put it nicer if ya like, you can keep entertaining his moods, which if you do always remember that your life is lots better than his and while you have to listen to him moan for 10 minutes he has to live in his moany life permanently and that 10 mins of you putting up with his moans may give him some sort of reprieve from whatever he's goin thru..or you can just cut off all contact...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe he's got shit goin on in his life and needs someone to moan to, ain't that what friends are for? Go to the UK, take him out for a weekend session and all will be sorted...

Just came back form UK on Sunday. Spent a lot of time with him.

He does have shit going on, you're right about that. He has health issues. Most caused by his lifestyle choices and the resolutions lie in his hands. I can listen to that kind of thing because I am concerned about his health but the constant sniping he sends in my direction are really starting to get me down. "

You don't have to tolerate that. Until you elaborated a bit it sounded as if you were miffed that he's not as much fun as he used to be, now it's more like he's one of those "adults" who can't grow up and take responsibility for themselves and is hitting out at you because he begrudges any happiness you have.

Tell him you have no problem being a supportive friend if he needa help getting his shit together, but you're not prepared to enable his self-destructive behaviour and it's negative consequences for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe he's got shit goin on in his life and needs someone to moan to, ain't that what friends are for? Go to the UK, take him out for a weekend session and all will be sorted...

Just came back form UK on Sunday. Spent a lot of time with him.

He does have shit going on, you're right about that. He has health issues. Most caused by his lifestyle choices and the resolutions lie in his hands. I can listen to that kind of thing because I am concerned about his health but the constant sniping he sends in my direction are really starting to get me down.

You don't have to tolerate that. Until you elaborated a bit it sounded as if you were miffed that he's not as much fun as he used to be, now it's more like he's one of those "adults" who can't grow up and take responsibility for themselves and is hitting out at you because he begrudges any happiness you have.

Tell him you have no problem being a supportive friend if he needa help getting his shit together, but you're not prepared to enable his self-destructive behaviour and it's negative consequences for you."

There. You've hit the nail on the head. Not only has he refused to grow up but he seems to have taken a step back to the school playground.

I've told him in as nice a way as I can and today I told him straight, which to be honest, I'm feeling a little bad about.

We've been friends since our early teens. Been through loads together.

I really don't want to cut him out of my life but……Ahhhhggggg!!! I don't fekkin know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe he's got shit goin on in his life and needs someone to moan to, ain't that what friends are for? Go to the UK, take him out for a weekend session and all will be sorted...

Just came back form UK on Sunday. Spent a lot of time with him.

He does have shit going on, you're right about that. He has health issues. Most caused by his lifestyle choices and the resolutions lie in his hands. I can listen to that kind of thing because I am concerned about his health but the constant sniping he sends in my direction are really starting to get me down.

You don't have to tolerate that. Until you elaborated a bit it sounded as if you were miffed that he's not as much fun as he used to be, now it's more like he's one of those "adults" who can't grow up and take responsibility for themselves and is hitting out at you because he begrudges any happiness you have.

Tell him you have no problem being a supportive friend if he needa help getting his shit together, but you're not prepared to enable his self-destructive behaviour and it's negative consequences for you.

There. You've hit the nail on the head. Not only has he refused to grow up but he seems to have taken a step back to the school playground.

I've told him in as nice a way as I can and today I told him straight, which to be honest, I'm feeling a little bad about.

We've been friends since our early teens. Been through loads together.

I really don't want to cut him out of my life but……Ahhhhggggg!!! I don't fekkin know "

Your first responsibility is to yourself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/07/15 14:40:18]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Sometimes even with good friends they get on your nerves.Sometimes a step back helps. He could be going through a bad patch himself.

Friends help with one another through good times and bad.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a step back for a while to see the bigger picture.

I recently cut out a friend because the only topic he ever wanted to talk about was how much he was fucking up these two girls lives. Can't stand that shit.

Yous have been mates a long time, it's not something to throw away lightly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes even with good friends they get on your nerves.Sometimes a step back helps. He could be going through a bad patch himself.

Friends help with one another through good times and bad.

"

Absolutely, but you also have tp recognise when someone is not interested in being helped, but wants to wallow in self-pity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont give up on him.

You may need each other sometime

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top