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funny quips, sayings, anecdotes and sillyness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well just post anything that we can have a giggle at

Some funny saying

something you overheard

something your granny used to tell you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When I was a kid my Gran used to make me stop doing rude faces to my brother by saying

"if the wind changes direction you will be stuck that way forever"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/05/15 14:56:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lady mails Kaizer "any chance of a golden shower?"

Kaizer replies "piss off"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lady mails Kaizer "any chance of a golden shower?"

Kaizer replies "piss off" "

lol! that's a gr8 answer, how appropriate!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lady mails Kaizer "any chance of a golden shower?"

Kaizer replies "piss off"

lol! that's a gr8 answer, how appropriate!!! "

Here all week please tip your waitress

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why is stuff sent on ships called "cargo" and UPS sends "shipments?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's so hot I'm sweating like a paedo in a Barney suit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was shaking like a shitting dog.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Granny always told me Always make sure u have clean jocks on u never know when u might end up in hospital

The one day I ended up in A&E I was commando and they cut the shirt and trousers off me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Popular insult around these parts when I was a kid

" If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards ! "

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By *ombikerMan
over a year ago

the right side of the river

If an apprentice was a bit useless it would be said "if there was a plague of fleas he would be eaten because he hadent hands to scratch himself" or a bit more rude, "he couldn't wipe his arse without getting shite to the elbow"

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By *rian78Man
over a year ago

navan


"Popular insult around these parts when I was a kid

" If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards ! " "

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down

You have a face like a bull dog licking piss off a nettle...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have a face like a bull dog licking piss off a nettle..."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A buddy of mine who is a doctor told this story about his four-year-old daughter. he had left a stethoscope on the car seat, and the kid picked it up and began playing with it. so hes there thinking "nice one" kids wanting to follow in his footsteps!

Then the child spoke into the it and says: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

never trust a man with a comb over... f he's going to lie to himself he will lie to you too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never take someone seriously If they say strange things will happen to you.....strange is the word of a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when someone does something daft

" there's more brains in a false face "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only trust people who like big butts...

They cannot lie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the game both the king and the pawn both go back into the same box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so hungry id ate the fluff out of a gypsies bellybutton...

..

..oo er..travellers bellybutton...(pc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At the end of the game both the king and the pawn both go back into the same box"

Not really funny though..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At the end of the game both the king and the pawn both go back into the same box

Not really funny though.."

Insightful tho

we are all equal etc etc

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"At the end of the game both the king and the pawn both go back into the same box

Not really funny though..

Insightful tho

we are all equal etc etc "

Well, chess pieces at least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overheard in a pub... "I don't know will I go for a shit or will I bother my hole "....

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By *obbie65Man
over a year ago

kildare


"At the end of the game both the king and the pawn both go back into the same box"

Maybe - but one of them lived a hell of a better life than the other - YOLO as they say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my faves is...if I had a garden full of mickeys,I wouldn't let her sit on the wall.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

For Sale: Wedding dress, size 12, worn once by mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ride her/him with your mickey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't ride her/him with your mickey "

Usually followed but I'll ride him/her with yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's no show pony but will do for rideing about the house

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just you wait and see Rodders this time next year we will be millionaires

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By *iceguydubMan
over a year ago

CC

Not a saying but a word I find very funny.. It is used to describe the act of receiving a blowjob whilst taking a dump.....Blumpy

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By *rgasmdonorMan
over a year ago

millstreet

If that fella fell into a pit of tits he would come out sucking his thumb he is so unlucky !!!!

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