FabSwingers.com forum: Random funny quotes

By *uzikhead OP Man
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

One from Jez in Peep Show cracked me up

"I'm the cuckoo in the nest, the python in the toy box... and, quite possibly, the man of your dreams"

Let's hear yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it weren't for marriage,husbands and wives would have to fight with strangers" Chic Murray

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

When a woman says "what!"..its not because she didn't hear you,, shes giving you the chance to change what you said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she ever says "fine" in an argument, you've already lost.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Jerry Seinfeld

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your aunt had a bollix she'd be your uncle...

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

"If your aunt had a bollix she'd be your uncle...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to hold hands at the movies,which always tends to startle strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's bad luck to get killed on a Tuesday...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can resist anything ....but temptation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Paedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble with doing nothing,is,never knowing when you're done.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit,, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been looking for a girl like you,not you,but a girl like you. Groucho Marx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some days even they devil himself sits back and admires my work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could dance with you til the cows come home. ..or better yet. ..dance with the cows til you come home. ..also groucho...

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Ride me sideways, that's another one"

Mrs Doyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/15 16:03:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so hungry I could eat the beats of Moses

Beard of Moses

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

"Can you imagine Father, looking up at your husband, and him standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself? God almighty can you imagine that Father? Can you picture it there Father? Oh get a good mental picture of it. Can you see him there? Ready to do the business??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/15 16:07:29]

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Are you alright there Goldie? You appear to have developed a bit of a stammer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you alright there Goldie? You appear to have developed a bit of a stammer?

Don't know what's happening , must be the wild weather Michael ,lol

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By *randub69Man
over a year ago

city

If electricity wasn't invented, we'd be watching television by candlelight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If electricity wasn't invented, we'd be watching television by candlelight "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never join a club that would have me as a member ... Groucho Marx

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By *randub69Man
over a year ago

city

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful. she is beautiful because you love her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello,room service?send me up a bigger room"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Hello,room service?send me up a bigger room" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish life was like a cartoon... i could wear the same clothes and noone would care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother is a fine little woman ... Spike milligans father to Spike as they watch her digging the air raid shelter in the back garden .... 'And getting smaller all the time ' says Spike to his Da

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever you do in life you should give it 100%.... unless it's blood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful. she is beautiful because you love her.

Awww that's sweet

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By *randub69Man
over a year ago

city

God loves a tryer......

but he hates a chancer

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By *uzikhead OP Man
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

Bender

"Get a room you two"

"We're in a room"

"Well then lose some weight"

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By *uzikhead OP Man
over a year ago

dun laoghaire

"You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Paedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin

Another Family Guy classic

"Hey Quagmire......... I fucked your dad"

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Another fine mess u have gotten me into

Ollie

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

If u die with a face like that on u no one WL wash it

My grandmother

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By *rash_pandaMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I'd rather a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before sex you help each other get naked,after sex you dress youself,moral of the story,no one helps you once your fucked

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By *ippcoupe2Couple
over a year ago

cahir/cashel

if things don't change around here, they will stay the way they are!

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