FabSwingers.com forum: 50 shades of chav !

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew his tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight. It was his birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling I love you in Braille. As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig-like nostrils. It was a mixture of , B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there he was. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Lidl. He had tied up his Staffy to block the alley way so we wouldn't be disturbed. Some tramp was watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same. My mum had told me to leave him many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had fucked his tea up after failing to defrost his prawn ring I had nicked from Iceland. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my ass. It stung but I liked it. I shouted "Again again" so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was extremely rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections. Who needs Christian Grey, I have all I could ever need with my bae."

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rossflow daveMan
over a year ago

Mullingar

That's made me laugh more than anything I've read in a long time !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol made me laugh too!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isdirtygirlWoman
over a year ago

Dublin

Ha ha!!!!!

that gave me a giggle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rSwingMan
over a year ago

Dublin

That's brilliant. Very funny. Can't wait for the book

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

probably more realisitic in the real world lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great start made me chortle out loud. You have to keep this storyline going, maybe you should start a chav blog to share with the greater world.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ast you not to make or love affair public bint...ur gettin batterd whn u git home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

for what lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"I ast you not to make or love affair public bint...ur gettin batterd whn u git home"

what can I say you bring out the worst in me haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"That's brilliant. Very funny. Can't wait for the book

be in all good book shops very soon lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

for what lol "
giving us a laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"Great start made me chortle out loud. You have to keep this storyline going, maybe you should start a chav blog to share with the greater world. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

for what lol giving us a laugh

oh right thought was in for something else ! oh well me and my dirty mind lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

for what lol giving us a laugh

oh right thought was in for something else ! oh well me and my dirty mind lol "
can be arranged

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrone-fem43 OP Woman
over a year ago

tyrone

"Pmsl a Tyrone women for it

for what lol giving us a laugh

oh right thought was in for something else ! oh well me and my dirty mind lol can be arranged

can it keep talkin

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread