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You know you're a swinger when

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By *auraxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

east

Stolen but still funny,

You know you are a SWINGER When?????

1. Half of the numbers on your mobile phone are listed only by screen names.

2. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can't go out with them this weekend.

3. You know most of your friends' names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you don't know their last names.

4. You go on a night away with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as you did when you left.

5. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

6. You position the computer screen in your home or office in such a way that your children can't possibly sneak up on you.

7. You can't remember the last time you had pubic hair.

8. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don't leave until Sunday afternoon...

9. Your doctor wonders why you're asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

10. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

11. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.

12. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife's thong.

13. You've hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

14. You hear the word "Playmate" and your first thought is not "Playboy"

15. The word "slut" has become a term of endearment.

16. You carry lube as often as lipstick.

17. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won't give you rug burns.

18. You are contantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends' houses.

19. You don't think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground.

20. You've invited friends over and made porn.

21. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.

22. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don't fit you or your wife.

23. Your kids think it's normal for adults to have sleepovers.

24. A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.

25. You believe in Unicorns... Because you've actually ridden one.

26. You frequently use the term "Friends of friends" when explaining how you know certain people.

27. You place a want ad that reads: "Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn't ask any questions."

28. You come home with that, "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle.

29. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.

30. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.

31. The movie "Swingers" was a huge disappointment to you.

32. It's an unwritten law that you can't call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don't wake them up.

33. You've become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.

34. You're in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.

35. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and say, "OK, here's how we know each other..."

36. You start having withdrawals after two days without internet access.

37. You ask a girlfriend to teach you: "That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much."

38. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the toilet.

39. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.

40. Your sexual fantasies never last very long... Because they keep coming true!

41. You erase your computer's browser history and cache every time you leave your office.

42. You're still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.

43. You've had sex with more people since you've been married than you did when you were single.

44. Your husband has lipstick on his collar and he smells like another woman's perfume and it brings a smile to your face.

45. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.

46. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume.

47. If you are reading this and laughing because many of these describe you...

That's a pretty good sign that you are a swinger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who ??? Me ??? ........Nahhhh !! ..................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol oh my gosh, Youve just read my life story pretty much Laura, here having a good giggle at this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very funny

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By *ojos jugsWoman
over a year ago

Bangor

LMAO made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonderful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2days internet ,try 2 hours lol,everything else is us to a tee !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I av to read rest of this later its v funny...u kno your a swinger wen your at work locking yourself in toilet to flick through fab ....not as good but thats my reality right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl. That is brilliant. I can relate to all of them.

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By *ay and DeborahCouple
over a year ago

Co. Down

Brilliant and very true!

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Ha ha brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/15 09:35:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl very good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant love it....and so so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

48.The John Wayne walk on a Monday morning has become very fashionable....

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville


"48.The John Wayne walk on a Monday morning has become very fashionable....

"

I was thinking more of no 35 lol

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By *an19Man
over a year ago

Cork

Very good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"48.The John Wayne walk on a Monday morning has become very fashionable....

I was thinking more of no 35 lol "

Lol I remember having that conversation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(49) you've drank every coffee known to man lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"(49) you've drank every coffee known to man lol"
would that be from the mini bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is brilliant...Gave me a good giggle

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By *arky90Couple
over a year ago

Killarney

Omg that's priceless lol

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By *tanonieMan
over a year ago

killorglin

Yeah spot on fairplay to ya hit the nail on the head there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stolen but still funny,

You know you are a SWINGER When?????

1. Half of the numbers on your mobile phone are listed only by screen names.

2. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can't go out with them this weekend.

your mad x baby

3. You know most of your friends' names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you don't know their last names.

4. You go on a night away with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as you did when you left.

5. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

6. You position the computer screen in your home or office in such a way that your children can't possibly sneak up on you.

7. You can't remember the last time you had pubic hair.

8. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don't leave until Sunday afternoon...

9. Your doctor wonders why you're asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

10. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

11. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.

12. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife's thong.

13. You've hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

14. You hear the word "Playmate" and your first thought is not "Playboy"

15. The word "slut" has become a term of endearment.

16. You carry lube as often as lipstick.

17. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won't give you rug burns.

18. You are contantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends' houses.

19. You don't think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground.

20. You've invited friends over and made porn.

21. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.

22. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don't fit you or your wife.

23. Your kids think it's normal for adults to have sleepovers.

24. A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.

25. You believe in Unicorns... Because you've actually ridden one.

26. You frequently use the term "Friends of friends" when explaining how you know certain people.

27. You place a want ad that reads: "Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn't ask any questions."

28. You come home with that, "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle.

29. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.

30. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.

31. The movie "Swingers" was a huge disappointment to you.

32. It's an unwritten law that you can't call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don't wake them up.

33. You've become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.

34. You're in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.

35. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and say, "OK, here's how we know each other..."

36. You start having withdrawals after two days without internet access.

37. You ask a girlfriend to teach you: "That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much."

38. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the toilet.

39. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.

40. Your sexual fantasies never last very long... Because they keep coming true!

41. You erase your computer's browser history and cache every time you leave your office.

42. You're still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.

43. You've had sex with more people since you've been married than you did when you were single.

44. Your husband has lipstick on his collar and he smells like another woman's perfume and it brings a smile to your face.

45. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.

46. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume.

47. If you are reading this and laughing because many of these describe you...

That's a pretty good sign that you are a swinger!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stolen but still funny,

You know you are a SWINGER When?????

1. Half of the numbers on your mobile phone are listed only by screen names.

2. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can't go out with them this weekend.

your mad x baby

3. You know most of your friends' names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you don't know their last names.

4. You go on a night away with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as you did when you left.

5. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

6. You position the computer screen in your home or office in such a way that your children can't possibly sneak up on you.

7. You can't remember the last time you had pubic hair.

8. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don't leave until Sunday afternoon...

9. Your doctor wonders why you're asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

10. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

11. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.

12. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife's thong.

13. You've hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

14. You hear the word "Playmate" and your first thought is not "Playboy"

15. The word "slut" has become a term of endearment.

16. You carry lube as often as lipstick.

17. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won't give you rug burns.

18. You are contantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends' houses.

19. You don't think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground.

20. You've invited friends over and made porn.

21. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.

22. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don't fit you or your wife.

23. Your kids think it's normal for adults to have sleepovers.

24. A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.

25. You believe in Unicorns... Because you've actually ridden one.

26. You frequently use the term "Friends of friends" when explaining how you know certain people.

27. You place a want ad that reads: "Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn't ask any questions."

28. You come home with that, "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle.

29. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.

30. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.

31. The movie "Swingers" was a huge disappointment to you.

32. It's an unwritten law that you can't call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don't wake them up.

33. You've become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.

34. You're in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.

35. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and say, "OK, here's how we know each other..."

36. You start having withdrawals after two days without internet access.

37. You ask a girlfriend to teach you: "That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much."

38. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the toilet.

39. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.

40. Your sexual fantasies never last very long... Because they keep coming true!

41. You erase your computer's browser history and cache every time you leave your office.

42. You're still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.

43. You've had sex with more people since you've been married than you did when you were single.

44. Your husband has lipstick on his collar and he smells like another woman's perfume and it brings a smile to your face.

45. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.

46. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume.

47. If you are reading this and laughing because many of these describe you...

That's a pretty good sign that you are a swinger!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stolen but still funny,

You know you are a SWINGER When?????

1. Half of the numbers on your mobile phone are listed only by screen names.

2. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can't go out with them this weekend.

your mad x baby

3. You know most of your friends' names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you don't know their last names.

4. You go on a night away with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as you did when you left.

5. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

6. You position the computer screen in your home or office in such a way that your children can't possibly sneak up on you.

7. You can't remember the last time you had pubic hair.

8. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don't leave until Sunday afternoon...

9. Your doctor wonders why you're asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

10. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

11. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.

12. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife's thong.

13. You've hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

14. You hear the word "Playmate" and your first thought is not "Playboy"

15. The word "slut" has become a term of endearment.

16. You carry lube as often as lipstick.

17. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won't give you rug burns.

18. You are contantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends' houses.

19. You don't think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground.

20. You've invited friends over and made porn.

21. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.

22. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don't fit you or your wife.

23. Your kids think it's normal for adults to have sleepovers.

24. A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.

25. You believe in Unicorns... Because you've actually ridden one.

26. You frequently use the term "Friends of friends" when explaining how you know certain people.

27. You place a want ad that reads: "Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn't ask any questions."

28. You come home with that, "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle.

29. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.

30. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.

31. The movie "Swingers" was a huge disappointment to you.

32. It's an unwritten law that you can't call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don't wake them up.

33. You've become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.

34. You're in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.

35. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and say, "OK, here's how we know each other..."

36. You start having withdrawals after two days without internet access.

37. You ask a girlfriend to teach you: "That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much."

38. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the toilet.

39. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.

40. Your sexual fantasies never last very long... Because they keep coming true!

41. You erase your computer's browser history and cache every time you leave your office.

42. You're still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.

43. You've had sex with more people since you've been married than you did when you were single.

44. Your husband has lipstick on his collar and he smells like another woman's perfume and it brings a smile to your face.

45. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.

46. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume.

47. If you are reading this and laughing because many of these describe you...

That's a pretty good sign that you are a swinger!"

your mad baby x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the above

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