FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Ireland

O dwyer murder case

Jump to newest
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare

Ill start off by saying i know very little about the bdsm scene,never interested me in the least, but reading about this case is really disturbing. There was already a thread about this but i was surprised that no one into the scene posted on it

is the ultimate fantasy of doms into this to torture,rape and kill and bdsm is the acceptable public face of their fantasies?

Im into mmf,mmmf and more and I'll admit i often fantasize about bareback creampie gangbang,,but wouldn't do for obvious reasons,but maybe 1 day my fantasies will get the better of me.my point being that our fantasies are often extreme versions of what we are into and do,i wonder is it the same with alot of these ppl.

I like true crime and often read about ppl who go onto kill being into bdsm etc

id like to hear thoughts of ppl into the scene

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bite me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I watched a documentary last year about a couple who were into this but there was substance abuse involved aswell..the female of the couple ended up dying with her injuries...which postmortem concluded it was asphyxiation..

Scary...i do like a little light holding of the neck but it would only be,in a,controlled situation or with someone I completely trusted,though in saying that these people ended up being killed by those they trusted..i think some people are just very big into the scene...which is their perogative,but it's the fine line between pain and taking it to far!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath

He wasn't a bdsm'er he was a murderer looking for an easy target...

He found one.

He could well have been on here as any other site.

Bdsm isn't all about pain, torture and killing. There's so much more to it.

Yes on some levels I'm sure there are "Doms" that like to inflict pain. But there's so many really intelligent men and worn into "alternative" sex to tar it all with pain etc.

RIP to that young lady, she just got mixed up with the wrong guy.

Be careful out there, you just never know.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats this story? I didnt hear of it??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare

We can all like a bit of holding and stuff like that pink.and good point ginger,i was talking more about those that like to inflict pain. And i think they met tru fetlife or whatever that site is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"Whats this story? I didnt hear of it?? "

where you been roxie? Its been all over papers and news all week.fi you have a sensitive disposition id keep away from it tho

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah lots of personal dramas going on this week.. not been bothered by the outside world!

Ill have an oul google search.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ingerrrrWoman
over a year ago

Meath


"We can all like a bit of holding and stuff like that pink.and good point ginger,i was talking more about those that like to inflict pain. And i think they met tru fetlife or whatever that site is"

Yes it's said they did meet from there. I'm on there a long time now and have come across some very scary guys..

No one I know from there seems to have known her or him.

It's good to get to know some oldies on those sites as they can steer you a little, especially if you're a newbie.

Innocently people can allow others to tie them up (for fun) not realising how vulnerable you actually are in that position.

I always ask after any guys in there if I intend to meet them. If they're completely unknown I'm uber careful. It's a different scenario, with different expectations..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *herry_bombshellWoman
over a year ago

northside


"He wasn't a bdsm'er he was a murderer looking for an easy target...

He found one.

He could well have been on here as any other site.

Bdsm isn't all about pain, torture and killing. There's so much more to it.

Yes on some levels I'm sure there are "Doms" that like to inflict pain. But there's so many really intelligent men and worn into "alternative" sex to tar it all with pain etc.

RIP to that young lady, she just got mixed up with the wrong guy.

Be careful out there, you just never know. "

BDSM isn't about pain at all. That's secondary. BDSM is about power exchange and the trust that comes with it. I tend to not even bring it up on here bc it's exactly what ppl that don't know think. Ahhhh here's a gal that likes to get the crap beat out of her n treated like shit. Ugh....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did I hear right on the radio that he stabbed her a few times on differabt occasions?

If that was the case then she was into pain as much as he was, all that ended up with terrible consequences

Didn't take to much notice of bdsm until the last few days but I've gathered it's more about the feeling of power and control and total trust than about the pain side of things

Seems like it was sonething that got out of hand and when she was dead he tried to get rid of the body

It's def one of the most bizarre cases In a long time if the news is anything to go by

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He wasn't a bdsm'er he was a murderer looking for an easy target...

He found one.

He could well have been on here as any other site.

Bdsm isn't all about pain, torture and killing. There's so much more to it.

Yes on some levels I'm sure there are "Doms" that like to inflict pain. But there's so many really intelligent men and worn into "alternative" sex to tar it all with pain etc.

RIP to that young lady, she just got mixed up with the wrong guy.

Be careful out there, you just never know.

BDSM isn't about pain at all. That's secondary. BDSM is about power exchange and the trust that comes with it. I tend to not even bring it up on here bc it's exactly what ppl that don't know think. Ahhhh here's a gal that likes to get the crap beat out of her n treated like shit. Ugh.... "

Sorry, but some of it is exactly about pain(mental or physical). S&M refers to sadomasochism.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"He wasn't a bdsm'er he was a murderer looking for an easy target...

He found one.

He could well have been on here as any other site.

Bdsm isn't all about pain, torture and killing. There's so much more to it.

Yes on some levels I'm sure there are "Doms" that like to inflict pain. But there's so many really intelligent men and worn into "alternative" sex to tar it all with pain etc.

RIP to that young lady, she just got mixed up with the wrong guy.

Be careful out there, you just never know.

BDSM isn't about pain at all. That's secondary. BDSM is about power exchange and the trust that comes with it. I tend to not even bring it up on here bc it's exactly what ppl that don't know think. Ahhhh here's a gal that likes to get the crap beat out of her n treated like shit. Ugh.... "

most serial killers get off on a power trip too,its the ultimate power trip to take someone's life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"Did I hear right on the radio that he stabbed her a few times on differabt occasions?

If that was the case then she was into pain as much as he was, all that ended up with terrible consequences

Didn't take to much notice of bdsm until the last few days but I've gathered it's more about the feeling of power and control and total trust than about the pain side of things

Seems like it was sonething that got out of hand and when she was dead he tried to get rid of the body

It's def one of the most bizarre cases In a long time if the news is anything to go by "

that's what i assumed too but i was wrong,murder was his ultimate fantasy and goal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did I hear right on the radio that he stabbed her a few times on differabt occasions?

If that was the case then she was into pain as much as he was, all that ended up with terrible consequences

Didn't take to much notice of bdsm until the last few days but I've gathered it's more about the feeling of power and control and total trust than about the pain side of things

Seems like it was sonething that got out of hand and when she was dead he tried to get rid of the body

It's def one of the most bizarre cases In a long time if the news is anything to go by

that's what i assumed too but i was wrong,murder was his ultimate fantasy and goal"

I thought she had asked him to kill her & he had refused Hal?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She asked him to kill her,there's emails and texts to support this I think it will be down to the jury and he may be found guilty of manslaughter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She asked him to kill her,there's emails and texts to support this I think it will be down to the jury and he may be found guilty of manslaughter "

No cause of death, muddy the waters by introducing other people that she could have met, usual Garda incompetence, even manslaughter could be a stretch.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She asked him to kill her,there's emails and texts to support this I think it will be down to the jury and he may be found guilty of manslaughter

No cause of death, muddy the waters by introducing other people that she could have met, usual Garda incompetence, even manslaughter could be a stretch. "

That's true,I think they have very little evidence just the emails and texts,plus she apparently had some medical issues herself...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare

She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him"

I agree,he still murdered her!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him"

I'm not trying to change your view Hal, & Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man. Unfortunately he found a vulnerable woman with mental problems & together they became a Juggernaut.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think she was very sick with mental problems ..and he know this and took advantage of her....sick fucker...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him

I'm not trying to change your view Hal, & Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man. Unfortunately he found a vulnerable woman with mental problems & together they became a Juggernaut."

i don't think she can be blamed in anyway candy,she was suicidal before she met him but he had these fantasies before he ever met her,these are deep rooted and take years to develope.from the texts i read from him he's talking about watching lonely hillwalkers and he just needs to find a place with no cctv cameras. So many young women go missing because of ppl like him.if he buried her she would be just another 1

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another good reason not to go hillwalking...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him

I'm not trying to change your view Hal, & Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man. Unfortunately he found a vulnerable woman with mental problems & together they became a Juggernaut.

i don't think she can be blamed in anyway candy,she was suicidal before she met him but he had these fantasies before he ever met her,these are deep rooted and take years to develope.from the texts i read from him he's talking about watching lonely hillwalkers and he just needs to find a place with no cctv cameras. So many young women go missing because of ppl like him.if he buried her she would be just another 1"

I'm not sure blamed is the right word but if she continued to allow him to entertain murderous fantasies with her....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/01/15 15:07:10]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno about that.if ya look at some of the dating sites online and see the interest lists,half the fekin countries singles,looking for love go hillwalking,the hills must be thronged at the weekends.

Actually now that I think of it,where did I put my map and compass

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dunno about that.if ya look at some of the dating sites online and see the interest lists,half the fekin countries singles,looking for love go hillwalking,the hills must be thronged at the weekends.

Actually now that I think of it,where did I put my map and compass "
don't think that's funny ....someone lost there life what ever way you look at it...goW l

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"Dunno about that.if ya look at some of the dating sites online and see the interest lists,half the fekin countries singles,looking for love go hillwalking,the hills must be thronged at the weekends.

Actually now that I think of it,where did I put my map and compass don't think that's funny ....someone lost there life what ever way you look at it...goW l "

no jokes to be had here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He wasn't a bdsm'er he was a murderer looking for an easy target...

He found one.

He could well have been on here as any other site.

Bdsm isn't all about pain, torture and killing. There's so much more to it.

Yes on some levels I'm sure there are "Doms" that like to inflict pain. But there's so many really intelligent men and worn into "alternative" sex to tar it all with pain etc.

RIP to that young lady, she just got mixed up with the wrong guy.

Be careful out there, you just never know.

BDSM isn't about pain at all. That's secondary. BDSM is about power exchange and the trust that comes with it. I tend to not even bring it up on here bc it's exactly what ppl that don't know think. Ahhhh here's a gal that likes to get the crap beat out of her n treated like shit. Ugh....

Sorry, but some of it is exactly about pain(mental or physical). S&M refers to sadomasochism."

Have you this opinion from personal experience ? There are many different types of people engaging in BDSM and it is very specific to each persons needs and desires,to believe wrongly that all S&M is some sort of one sided enjoyment of pain infliction is passé.In my limited experience,it is a mutual connection with prediscussed limits and safe words agreed.It can be very fulfilling and loving also,the aftercare is fantastic.So in conclusion,you could meet an actual sadist murderer in any walk of life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"She told her father she asked him to kill her but in texts shown so far he was asking her to kill her.she was very mentally unwell and he manipulated this it seems. Even if she wanted to die its still murder and it doesn't change my views of him

I'm not trying to change your view Hal, & Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man. Unfortunately he found a vulnerable woman with mental problems & together they became a Juggernaut.

i don't think she can be blamed in anyway candy,she was suicidal before she met him but he had these fantasies before he ever met her,these are deep rooted and take years to develope.from the texts i read from him he's talking about watching lonely hillwalkers and he just needs to find a place with no cctv cameras. So many young women go missing because of ppl like him.if he buried her she would be just another 1

I'm not sure blamed is the right word but if she continued to allow him to entertain murderous fantasies with her...."

she was highly vulnerable,which he saw and manipulated imo.she was far from copus mentus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

BDSM isn't about pain at all. "

I disagree with what you said. 'SM', as in BDSM stands for Sadomasochism which by it's very definition is the infliction of pain for sexual gratification.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"

BDSM isn't about pain at all.

I disagree with what you said. 'SM', as in BDSM stands for Sadomasochism which by it's very definition is the infliction of pain for sexual gratification. "

exactly. While not everyone into bdsm are into inflicting pain,alot are and those are who i was talking about

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

reading the text messages and about her mental illness, it's quite obvious that she was very vulnerable and not of clear mind.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issdemeanourWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Sad, no matter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iobraidarannMan
over a year ago

.. south

This is currently before the courts. People are using the accused name on a public forum. There is a presumption of innocence until proven guilty.

Just a thought, but perhaps hold off calling him potentially libellous names until after the verdict.

Who knows he might be a member here for all we know!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is currently before the courts. People are using the accused name on a public forum. There is a presumption of innocence until proven guilty.

Just a thought, but perhaps hold off calling him potentially libellous names until after the verdict.

Who knows he might be a member here for all we know!"

even if he didn't kill her.... the text messages were from him. I wouldn't want anything to do with someone who has fantasies about murder and sticking a knife into someone's flesh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont come on the forums much ,as a young woman i have had a relationship very like the character Mr grey& Anastasia alot of ppl thnk i live in a fantasy land but i don't believe i do my point is i like elements of bdsm and not into it extremely yet ppl laugh at me for what i seek.I think it is a terrible tragedy what happened to that lady and only last wk A MAN mailed me asking me to go to a hotel room num .... Put a blindfold on and lie on the bed now ths works for some ppl but me not in a million years.I thnk i will continue in my little world its safer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iobraidarannMan
over a year ago

.. south

I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that."

Yes of course it is, the circles that these 2 people spun in overlap with circles that people here are part of.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"I dont come on the forums much ,as a young woman i have had a relationship very like the character Mr grey& Anastasia alot of ppl thnk i live in a fantasy land but i don't believe i do my point is i like elements of bdsm and not into it extremely yet ppl laugh at me for what i seek.I think it is a terrible tragedy what happened to that lady and only last wk A MAN mailed me asking me to go to a hotel room num .... Put a blindfold on and lie on the bed now ths works for some ppl but me not in a million years.I thnk i will continue in my little world its safer."

i hope it remains safe for you,just wish you didn't use 2 fictional and highly unrealistic characters as an example.the difference with swinging or other lifestyles is it isn't based on inflicting pain for kicks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont come on the forums much ,as a young woman i have had a relationship very like the character Mr grey& Anastasia alot of ppl thnk i live in a fantasy land but i don't believe i do my point is i like elements of bdsm and not into it extremely yet ppl laugh at me for what i seek.I think it is a terrible tragedy what happened to that lady and only last wk A MAN mailed me asking me to go to a hotel room num .... Put a blindfold on and lie on the bed now ths works for some ppl but me not in a million years.I thnk i will continue in my little world its safer.

i hope it remains safe for you,just wish you didn't use 2 fictional and highly unrealistic characters as an example.the difference with swinging or other lifestyles is it isn't based on inflicting pain for kicks."
I used the characters as an example for the reason before the famous book ,i had the real deal .My point was actually a man who i didn't know claimed to be a dom sent me a message if i was vunerable i would of went to that hotel room .But thank you hal i do my best to be safe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iobraidarannMan
over a year ago

.. south


"I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that.

Yes of course it is, the circles that these 2 people spun in overlap with circles that people here are part of. "

Candy, I don't doubt for a moment that there are circles within circles and worlds overlap.

i don't think i'm making my point clearly.

"Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man".... That is a direct quote from an earlier post.

All I'm suggesting is that from a legal point of view is it wise to be making such comments until after the verdict. I'm no lawyer, so perhaps it is okay.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that.

Yes of course it is, the circles that these 2 people spun in overlap with circles that people here are part of.

Candy, I don't doubt for a moment that there are circles within circles and worlds overlap.

i don't think i'm making my point clearly.

"Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man".... That is a direct quote from an earlier post.

All I'm suggesting is that from a legal point of view is it wise to be making such comments until after the verdict. I'm no lawyer, so perhaps it is okay."

MY earlier post. Fair comment, perhaps I should have said "Graham Dwyer APPEARS to be a very sick man" but as the jury aren't going to rely on my views to make their decision, my perception of him is irrelevant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He prob wont even do he full prison term he get 15 years and be let out in 7 if even earlier if they throw in time already served i think.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iobraidarannMan
over a year ago

.. south


"I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that.

Yes of course it is, the circles that these 2 people spun in overlap with circles that people here are part of.

Candy, I don't doubt for a moment that there are circles within circles and worlds overlap.

i don't think i'm making my point clearly.

"Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man".... That is a direct quote from an earlier post.

All I'm suggesting is that from a legal point of view is it wise to be making such comments until after the verdict. I'm no lawyer, so perhaps it is okay.

MY earlier post. Fair comment, perhaps I should have said "Graham Dwyer APPEARS to be a very sick man" but as the jury aren't going to rely on my views to make their decision, my perception of him is irrelevant."

Is not about jury perception Candy. If he is acquitted it's about lible. I don't care about him. I'm suggesting caution to protect people here.

Sorry for the confusion. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting comments

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *al2001 OP   Man
over a year ago

kildare


"I'm not suggesting for a minute he is guilty or innocent.

The calls are alleged to be from his phone. The jury will decide if that is proven. The prosecution is still presenting their evidence . The defence will have their say and the jury will determine the outcome.

I'm just asking if it's appropriate to discuss it here. I'm not defending him. He has a legal team for that.

Yes of course it is, the circles that these 2 people spun in overlap with circles that people here are part of.

Candy, I don't doubt for a moment that there are circles within circles and worlds overlap.

i don't think i'm making my point clearly.

"Graham Dwyer is obviously a very sick man".... That is a direct quote from an earlier post.

All I'm suggesting is that from a legal point of view is it wise to be making such comments until after the verdict. I'm no lawyer, so perhaps it is okay."

graham dwyer IS a very sick man,guilty or innocent ,at the very least by his own admission he has fantasies of murder.to any sane person,or jury that is sick

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think she was very sick with mental problems ..and he know this and took advantage of her....sick fucker..."

yes, I agree here and from him knowing this he manipulated her...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think she was very sick with mental problems ..and he know this and took advantage of her....sick fucker...

yes, I agree here and from him knowing this he manipulated her... "

This!

Whoever sent those texts arranged it to look like a suicide. That was premeditated.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top