FabSwingers.com forum: Fifty Shades of Fu*ked up!?

By *ilder OP Man
over a year ago

dublin

In an attempt to figure out / see for myself what all the fuss is about I've just completed '50 shades of Grey'. I'm intrigued to see what others thought of the book (particularly other guys opinions).

Personally I was terribly underwhelmed. I found myself laughing when there was any play being discussed as (spoiler alert) Christian was playing with Anna. Every thing was so 'amazing' and everyone seemed to cum together etc. it was as if Mills and Boom has just moved into the soft porn market. Even the BDSM aspects were oh so perfect it seemed.

I know its written as if its the opinion of a 22 year old female virgin and that's an inner monologue I (thankfully) never had to listen too but she wrecked my head!

if I hear one more time about her inner feckin goddess ill throttle her. I'm not surprised Christian spanked her. She's lucky he didn't punch her! lol (not condoning domestic violence before the abusive mails start rolling in).

I get the whole oh he's rich and gorgeous and with a tortured beautiful soul I want to mother him aspect of it. That seems to 'do it' for a lot of women. In fairness when he started playing piano I nearly wept laughing (of course he plays piano!....)

The BDSM scenes didn't really turn me on to be honest. Perhaps I'm too hands on with anything like that and so hearing someone else's experience doesn't do it for me. If it was more visual then that'd be a different story. I can use my imagination (and frequently do) but nah I was bored and just wanted it to end. The only reason I kept going was to see where they took the story and for the (unintentional by the author) laughs I was getting.

I was thinking if it was written from Christian's point of view it'd be a much shorter story and more interesting. So here goes my stab at it.....

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(spoiler alert....)

So I met this hot 22 year old through work there a while back. She seemed quite keen so I made sure to chase her a bit (cause chicks dig that sh*t). I even tried the 'treat em mean and keep em keen' angle by trying to warn her to stay away from me. Turns out she's a feckin Virgin. Nice! I'll have that thanks very much. So anyway she's into my kinky ways and doesn't mind that I've got severe Mammy issues. She seems to quite like the 'tortured past' stories actually. So I f*cked her for a couple of weeks and threw a few gifts her way and then BAM! She walks out on me! B*tch!!

I don't know what I'm going to do now being a multi millionaire, tall, handsome, impeccably dressed, cultured, kinky young man that has women 'throwing' themselves at him.. I guess I'll figure something out. Now which extremely expensive suit will I wear today?

Oh yeah and so my bro starts banging her best mate. Turns out she's a goer too! Nice!

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Now that's a short story worth reading! Lol

I hope ye can see my tongue firmly in cheek. I know the book (and the other two that I don't expect to read) has been very popular with some of the women here but quite frankly it didn't have the desired effect on me. Granted I'm not in the desired demographic. I didn't learn much from it either (which was the other reason to read it lol) but perhaps I have more knowledge than many on such matters anyway

. I just couldn't take it seriously.

Ah well. So what do others think if it? Any other lads gone through / suffered it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read it so I could see what the fuss was about and was absolutely underwhelmed to say the least! The sex parts were laughable and to be honest I got the feeling that the only attraction to the book was she slobs around in trackies and he is a billionaire who wants to buy her stuff! Defo wouldn't recommend it at all

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By *ilder OP Man
over a year ago

dublin

"I read it so I could see what the fuss was about and was absolutely underwhelmed to say the least! The sex parts were laughable and to be honest I got the feeling that the only attraction to the book was she slobs around in trackies and he is a billionaire who wants to buy her stuff! Defo wouldn't recommend it at all "

I thought I was the only one. Yay Lolli!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure when we are used to 500 shades of grey of course we will be underwhelmed !

Think the party scenes _ilder ! We should start writing !!

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By *ilder OP Man
over a year ago

dublin

"Sure when we are used to 500 shades of grey of course we will be underwhelmed !

Think the party scenes _ilder ! We should start writing !! "

You could be onto something misspurefilth!!

Think of them!! Frequently I do, was only talking about that at the weekend. I need to write some stories so I can afford a four poster bed for some scene recreation!

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By *oughandCurvyCouple
over a year ago

galway

I read the poor man's version by silvia day it's sounds like it's the same story!

I like your version it could definitely be a best seller

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By *ohn MingoMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I would never bother with it as from the get go it sounded like shite, and was told that the BDSM stuff was far from realistic. then it read this (on another site) and knew it was a crock of shit:

Take the sexual activity and ‘BDSM contracts’ out of the equation and Christian Grey is a controlling boyfriend showing signs of being abusive.

Here are some warning signs of abuse shown in the books:

• Do you feel nervous around your partner? (Ana constantly reports feeling nervous around Christian. She is often scared of how he will react to her)

• Do you have to be careful to control your behaviour to avoid your partner’s anger? (See above)

• Do you feel pressured by your partner when it comes to sex? (‘Sign the BDSM contract or we can’t be together. Oh, and we’re keeping anal in there!’)

• Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner? (Twitching palms?)

• Is your partner always checking up on you or questioning you about what you do without your partner? (Christian stalks Ana via the GPS on her phone and make international flights back from business trips if she ‘disobeys’ him about not going out with her best friend.)

• Does your partner repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people? (Jose, Paul, Ethan, Jack)

• Does your partner tell you that if you changed, he or she wouldn’t treat you like this? (Christian often blames Ana’s ‘stubborn’ behaviour for his ‘twitching palms’)

• Has your partner ever scared you with violence or threatening behaviour? (‘I like to beat little girls’??????? Ana, at that point you RUN!)

• Does your partner say, ‘I will kill myself if you break up with me’ or ‘I will hurt/kill you if you break up with me’? (Christian’s constant harping on about how broken he was when she left him – he throws that around in a manipulative and threatening manner often enough.)

• Does your partner make excuses for the abusive behaviour? For example saying, ‘It’s because of alcohol or drugs,’ or ‘I can’t control my temper,’ or ‘I was just joking’? (Christian Grey’s childhood is often his excuse for his behaviour)

so yeah, it's not BDSM, that needs respect and trust, it's 50 ways your bloke can abuse you more like.

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By *londegemWoman
over a year ago

my own little world

Haven of obedience..... makes 50 shades look like a Disney book ....a book worth reading ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah _ilder thanks!!! Now I don't have to read it hahaha!

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By *ilder OP Man
over a year ago

dublin

"I would never bother with it as from the get go it sounded like shite, and was told that the BDSM stuff was far from realistic. then it read this (on another site) and knew it was a crock of shit: