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Bippy's - Advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've started this after being asked too.

I'll try and answer, advise and assist as much as I can, or even point you in the right direction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Kinky from Louth wrote:

'Dear Bip,

Whilst out dogging the other night, we noticed the sprays of fluids from males on the windscreen act as a good cleaner, what would your advice be?'

Kinky,

Mixed with a cheap bottle of water from a well known German supermarket will leave a permanent shine on your windscreen.

Next....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Bip,

Would agree with Kinky with regards to windscreens however we have found it most difficult to remove same fluid from car seat upholstery. Any advice??

Kindess regards

Waitandusee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dear bip ,

i myself have found said substance makes for a great face pack if left ,

regards divie

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Usee, i find that a quick spray of Carlsberg rubbed with a brilo pad works wonders

Bippy xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Divie, that combined with cucumber, trust me will do the trick, you'll enjoy that facepack...

Bippy

Next...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bippy have also found it very good for heart burn

Usee xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sprays of fluids from the gentlemen??

sneezing all over the place like that surely isnt polite.

Bippy,

for all those lonely nights at home sitting on edge of my bed which brand of vaccuum cleaner would you recommend for my "needs"

(no smart remarks please - any port in a storm ??? )

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Kildare,

I'd strongly recommend one that's got plenty of 'suck-tion', is portable and possibly cordless as you certainly don't want to accidently electrocute yourself whilst in use, also one that contains a small nozzle to assist getting into those small tight areas!

Next......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

help ,, insect bites from a dirty aparment ,, or could it be his body hair , mm bit of advice please ,, would the substance we chatted before work bip ,, helpful as always love divie , xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HELP my bottom is all hot, red and sore today I am having difficulty sitting still - any advice Bippy???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dear Divie,

Lets deal with the dirty apartment, as Kidare us purchasing a new Vacuum Cleaner and appears to have spare time in the evenings, summon him over with his new purchase.

In relation too 'himself' apply duct tape too remove hair then wash down area with dettol and hot water, for the best results make him stand naked in the apartments balcony, fresh air will compliment the treatment. Try then applying that substance we discussed earlier, it's very soothing

Let me know who you get on..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I can only coclude that it's Carpet Burn, I recommend you change your carpet cleaner as this is obviously an allergic reaction?

The remedy, get your better half two gently clean your bottom with carbolic soap, apply 'Ponds Cold Cream' in abundance to your bottom, then press your bottom against the icebox or freezer section of your fridge until your bottom goes numb.

Now get on the sofa bottom in air and get himself to gently remove the frozen cream, the red marks will have gone and you'll feel alot better, infact you'll probably feel like a 'shag'. Hope this works..,

Next.......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

By email:

Cowen writes:

Dear Bippy,

I'm in turmoil, I've recently hooked up with Mary and during sex she constantly sings a Bannarama song 'nama nama....hey hey' It tends to put me off!

As her Manager I'm not sure what to do, any advice?

There are a number of options here:

1. It's not 'healthy' to have her in that position if she's neither up for it or has the capabilities, sack her.

2. Maybe she doesn't like the excess flab that hangs below your eyes and down, should you diet?

3. I think your popularity and sex life would improve immensely if you concentrated on the real issues here and not wasted my time clogging the forum.

Next

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mary from Dungloe:

Dear Bip

My daughter will only eat chocolate and suffers from severe constipation plus she suffers a severe addicition to rice and crispie things.

She's now taken a fancy to men, in particular a guy called Daniel, seemingly he has a great voice?

Oh she loves tea.

Mary

Bip says:

Mary.....

Make your daughter sit down and listen, that Daniel fella, whilst thinks he can sing, he can't! he's a tourist attraction (personally, I think it's his hair style.

In relation to the chocolate issue, try making buns, substituting crispies yolks with bran, lord, she'll shit after that, whilst still enjoying her favourite snack.

PS, have you told her about the "birds and the bees?"

Next.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

King Tart from Wexford writes:

Bip.

From an early age I've played with my......tanks, now in my maturing years (I'm 30) I feel I'm getting more dependent on playing with them, what should I do?

A. Stop lying about your age.

B. If your Tanks cannon is bigger than your Willy... I'd keep silent.

C. In your early years did you miss hear the word 'WANK' for 'TANK'

Paddy xx

Next

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm gonna be shot for my last post above.,,, haha

X

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By *rmeandMan
over a year ago

magherafelt

why shot? he has always been a feckin tanker lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anon from Waterford writes:

Hi Bip/Dastardly

I'm Mary and my husband is John, we're in our late 50's and we live in Waterford City, John was senior in...anyway, I need help or advice.

Our children have fled the nest leaving us alone apart from our one companion our dog.

John has always called me a 'horny bitch' but of late he's taken to walking the dog late at night?

At the Womens group I discussed this, and was told he'd gone dogging, I asked what's that? The reply was just giggles....

Can you help?

Bip/Dast.

Well firstly your very exact about your location, did either of you work in the dole office? I need help. I'll email you later.

John is simply walking the dog, to a local spot where all dog owners mainly males hook up and watch, you should go with him some evening... You'll love him calling you 'bitch' after that.

Paddy xx

Oh why did you tell the local Curate? He's probably out dogging too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do men really like curves?? advice bippy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Bippy,

I have recently discovered a liking for nipple rings mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have tried to convince Wait to get one but he's being a big chicken. Would it be over stepping the mark to do it while he sleeps??

Eagerly awaiting your response as always

Usee xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do men really like curves?? advice bippy "

I know a few who like your's and I know a few who like mine

but awaiting Bippy's response cos a man,I know cos I've seen his willy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you mean CURVES as in the fitness place, i'd say yes as men tend to go and pose in the mirrors !

However, if your asking me if men like a 'Curvy' lady well the answer is very much a yes ( I'm partial myself)

I'd never make generalised statements but 'curvy' is more fun and bubbly.

Next.....


"do men really like curves?? advice bippy "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nipple rings, it's down to preference, many moons ago when I was in my youth I did infact get my Nipple pierced, but sadly after catching it in the bathroom cabinet one morning I removed it for good (ouch!)

That said they do have a major part in highering one's arousal during some sexual play, but and be warned, hair can sometimes get caught depending on the position!

Play safe...

Paddy xx

Next....


"Dear Bippy,

I have recently discovered a liking for nipple rings mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have tried to convince Wait to get one but he's being a big chicken. Would it be over stepping the mark to do it while he sleeps??

Eagerly awaiting your response as always

Usee xxxxxxxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you mean CURVES as in the fitness place, i'd say yes as men tend to go and pose in the mirrors !

However, if your asking me if men like a 'Curvy' lady well the answer is very much a yes ( I'm partial myself)

I'd never make generalised statements but 'curvy' is more fun and bubbly.

Next.....

do men really like curves?? advice bippy "

I knew they were lying when they said it was a women only gym some of those women were so hairy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nipple rings, it's down to preference, many moons ago when I was in my youth I did infact get my Nipple pierced, but sadly after catching it in the bathroom cabinet one morning I removed it for good (ouch!)

That said they do have a major part in highering one's arousal during some sexual play, but and be warned, hair can sometimes get caught depending on the position!

Play safe...

Paddy xx

Next....

Dear Bippy,

I have recently discovered a liking for nipple rings mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have tried to convince Wait to get one but he's being a big chicken. Would it be over stepping the mark to do it while he sleeps??

Eagerly awaiting your response as always

Usee xxxxxxxx"

LOL Thanks for safety tips Bippy but you haven't answered my question.... would it be over stepping the mark to do it to wait in his sleep?

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By *icemarmotCouple
over a year ago

filthsville

One from 'a friend'

"Dear Bippy, I - like every other male on the planet am as randy as feck. Unfortunately seeing as I'm NOT gods gift and only sometimes get my knuckles off the dirt I don't have a current partner. Thankfully I find I have 8 hours a day to troll websites.

Am I a swinger or just a lazy arse who wont mention swinging to his next 'girlfriend' from udate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Usee.....

I'd advise not to take him unawares, but simply ply him with his favourite beverage until slighty intoxicated, then tease Wait, tell him your gonna do it!

He'll be sore for a while but reap the benefits of TLC from you.

Paddy xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Simple advice, stop masturbating during the day, you'll go blind!

Get up off your arse and get a job, trust me you'll feel a hell of a lot better.....

Next.


"One from 'a friend'

"Dear Bippy, I - like every other male on the planet am as randy as feck. Unfortunately seeing as I'm NOT gods gift and only sometimes get my knuckles off the dirt I don't have a current partner. Thankfully I find I have 8 hours a day to troll websites.

Am I a swinger or just a lazy arse who wont mention swinging to his next 'girlfriend' from udate?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Usee.....

I'd advise not to take him unawares, but simply ply him with his favourite beverage until slighty intoxicated, then tease Wait, tell him your gonna do it!

He'll be sore for a while but reap the benefits of TLC from you.

Paddy xx"

Right that's it I'm gonna do he's of out tonight I shall play on here till he gets home then do it!! Bippy thanks as always for your wonderful advice I am gonna have some fun ...once it heals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been away, I'll reply to all your questions over the next day or so!

Bippy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Bippy,

I am a somewhat pretty girl in my early 30's, dress well, enjoy socialising etc.

Sadly when god was handing out cleavage, I ended up at the end of the line, I last measured in at a 28AA

When I attempted to go on cam, I was bombarded with requests to get 'them' out love, get what out?

Up until then I was happy to use chicken fillets, rolled up tights, newspaper, toilet roll, kitchen paper, but I can’t cheat the cam.

Please, please I know you can help.

You have done so with so many others!

Pigeon chest xx

Pigeon chest, simply get “them out” – tits are tits irrespective of size, the boys will tug away whilst viewing.

NEXT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've received this reply from Anon in Waterford...aka Mary:

Dear Bippy,

I took your advice and went with my Hubby dogging as you so called it. All I can say is, wow it was a howl and I certainly got more than my eyes opened!

Now I can giggle at the ladies group, I never knew Nora was like that, unfortunately watching her scoff a chocolate eclair never seems the same now.

Once again thanks.

Anon (Mary x)

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