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best chat up line..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Iv just received probably the best chat up line to date..made me laugh literally out loud but made me smile also at the charm of it..

Any one have any that they can distinctively remember? ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw you'll have to tell us what it was......please?

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By *liceandraWoman
over a year ago

with the faries

Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was younger i use to say heres 20p for phone tell your parents your not coming home tonight lol some would giggle but sometimes pulled off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF "
to be fair it is a funny one made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF "

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol "
a bit cheesy that one

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By *cjoyCouple
over a year ago

Galway

Years ago I got

'Your eyes are like spanners...... Every time you look at me my nuts tighten'

We had a laugh and a drink but needless to say I didn't go anywhere near his nuts!!!

Miss Mcjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Years ago I got

'Your eyes are like spanners...... Every time you look at me my nuts tighten'

We had a laugh and a drink but needless to say I didn't go anywhere near his nuts!!!

No one likes tight nuts lol..loose n full of juice is best lol

Miss Mcjoy "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Years ago I got

'Your eyes are like spanners...... Every time you look at me my nuts tighten'

We had a laugh and a drink but needless to say I didn't go anywhere near his nuts!!!

Miss Mcjoy "

Poor fella

Mayor Lotta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must be a liar because I just can't believe my eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got something on your bum" then asked what it was and got "my eyes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always like the one where a lad says "feel my shirt, what material is it" and you say "I don't know" and he says "boyfriend material"

Cheesy ones that make me laugh are the best ones

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always like the one where a lad says "feel my shirt, what material is it" and you say "I don't know" and he says "boyfriend material"

Cheesy ones that make me laugh are the best ones"

Thats it I was drinking my tea at time an actually snorkeled it all over myself. .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol a bit cheesy that one "

A bit. .I snorkeled my tea all over myself. .funny though. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Saw it used once and thought it was genius. She laughed and it broke the ice. Think he went home with her!

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

I like your top look great on my bedroom floor

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

If U were a door id bang U all day

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

"does this smell like chloroform to you ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I asked a girl one time if she wanted to go to bed, her reply was 'thanks, but i just got up'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF "

lmao thanks for sharen that lol.

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By *rishCouple2kCouple
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a coffee table??"

No why?

"Cos i wanna bang off you everyday"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your eyes...they are like spanners!

Every time I look at them, my nuts tighten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were my homework i would do you on the table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am new in town can you give me direction to your hpuse

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By *longshottMan
over a year ago

Limerick

If we meet yours knees will need a team of mediators to bring them back together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""does this smell like chloroform to you ?" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You brought me my dinner earlier. Do you want to be the dessert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just you u ICE.. Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out

" GET IN THE F*CKING VAN"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you like for breakfast?" Or "get your coat love, you've pulled"

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

Did it hurt? ?

When you fell from heaven. ... Really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do these chat up lines really work? under what circumstances?

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville


"do these chat up lines really work? under what circumstances?"

no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do these chat up lines really work? under what circumstances?

no"

haha, thought so.

personally, I never used them, as I always found them silly, funny but silly...

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

How do U like ur eggs in the morning

Unfertilized

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville


"How do U like ur eggs in the morning

Unfertilized "

grrooooaann... At least it wasn't scrambled

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick


"do these chat up lines really work? under what circumstances?"

The only one that really works is do U fancy a shag I am in ur area accompanied by ten cock pics from different angles using beer bottles and sky remotes as a comparson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do these chat up lines really work? under what circumstances?

The only one that really works is do U fancy a shag I am in ur area accompanied by ten cock pics from different angles using beer bottles and sky remotes as a comparson"

lol hahhhhahah,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My penis is dead, can I bury it in your vagina? .....This works 60% of the time, all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My face is leaving in ten mins, be on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go up to lady and say.....I saw you when you entered the bar you know you got a lot of looks.... you look stunning....you could have any guy here but I hope you keep me in mind.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If we meet yours knees will need a team of mediators to bring them back together."

So you keep telling me lol...promises promises lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My face is leaving in ten mins, be on it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you were a door id bang you all night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mix concrete for a living?

Cause your making me hard

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By *onyg4funMan
over a year ago

South


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol "
Seriously, that is one of the poorest chat up lines I ever heard, and it made you nearly spill your tea! Come on over to mine and YOU WILL spill your tea!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you lie on your belly in bed?"

"Can I"

Or

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven"

Or

"What time does the almighty have your curfew set, because Heaven must be missing an angel!"

Or

Stare into a girls eyes and say

"Im sorry, what did you say, I missed it as I was lost in your eyes"

never used em honest!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol Seriously, that is one of the poorest chat up lines I ever heard, and it made you nearly spill your tea! Come on over to mine and YOU WILL spill your tea!! lol "

It made me snorkel my tea..lol

Ahh is that the best you can do??lol

Id rather not spill tea at all!! Anything better on offer to SPILL haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we both were squirells would you let me store my nuts in your hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you were a door i'd punch you in the cunt till you came.

Have I been saying it wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you were a door i'd punch you in the cunt till you came.

Have I been saying it wrong?"

wrong.....ish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you were a door i'd punch you in the cunt till you came.

Have I been saying it wrong?

wrong.....ish "

Wierdish you mean!

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By *icketyupWoman
over a year ago

dublin

Think one of the most annoying ones is,

"Are you wearing fake eye lashes"

"No"

"Close your eyes and let me see"

*boy tries to kiss girl*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/14 00:33:13]

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

Not a chat up line but I was told off by a lady at Dinner one night for talking to her bosom.

"Sorry, I'm a bloke, it's what I do"

Did actually work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"" GET IN THE F*CKING VAN" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you're quite good looking for a fat bird"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'"

I've seen it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it "

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head "

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol"

Indeed he did but did he really call her around 5?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol

Indeed he did but did he really call her around 5? "

Hahaha...only way to remember is to watch it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

an old man struggled on his Zimmer frame into Reception where i used to work. When he reached the counter, he broke into a smile..& whispered to me "i wouldn't mind leaving my shoes under your bed!"

i burst out laughing & told him it was the best offer i had all day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol

Indeed he did but did he really call her around 5?

Hahaha...only way to remember is to watch it again"

I'd watch it purely for the 'do we have a problem' and 'hurry up and buy' scenes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an old man struggled on his Zimmer frame into Reception where i used to work. When he reached the counter, he broke into a smile..& whispered to me "i wouldn't mind leaving my shoes under your bed!"

i burst out laughing & told him it was the best offer i had all day! "

Pure genius!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get your coat love.......iv got a knife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol

Indeed he did but did he really call her around 5?

Hahaha...only way to remember is to watch it again

I'd watch it purely for the 'do we have a problem' and 'hurry up and buy' scenes "

Added on my to-do list for tomorrow...well later today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was asked yesterday if I had pet insurance as they wannted to destroy my Pussy WTF

Ahhhh hahahaha unreal..thats deadly. I was asked..wait for it..

Hey are you a model think your in the wrong site..

I nearly pissed myself laughing. .sweet but seriously. .lol "

Oh dear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Break yo self, gimmie yo god damn number"

This will only make sense if you've watched 'don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood'

I've seen it

Then you know why its funny and that it works when accompanied by the handgun aimed at the head

He was right when he said he'd get her number lol

Indeed he did but did he really call her around 5?

Hahaha...only way to remember is to watch it again

I'd watch it purely for the 'do we have a problem' and 'hurry up and buy' scenes

Added on my to-do list for tomorrow...well later today "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I lived in London I used to ask English girls "Do you have any Irish in you?" When they said "No" I asked would she like some!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/14 09:26:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let go my ears. I know my job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how's you're belly fixed for a lodger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Those boobs look heavy, let me hold them for you'.

Charmer.

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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago

around

Here's a bottle of wine......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's a bottle of wine...... "

Switswoooooooooo

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Brace ur self Nora

Oh no that's foreplay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a great set of baps!

Sometimes funny ones work when you know they are doing it 'tongue in cheek' I love a good SOH gets me every time!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lol thats a good one xxxmissyxxx

Spot on soh goes far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/14 13:23:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was my favourite! Cheesy but those cocktails tasted sweeter!!

"My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a great set of baps!

Sometimes funny ones work when you know they are doing it 'tongue in cheek' I love a good SOH gets me every time!! "

Ya and it can also get you a right hook to the chin if she don't have the same SOH

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a great set of baps!

Sometimes funny ones work when you know they are doing it 'tongue in cheek' I love a good SOH gets me every time!!

Ya and it can also get you a right hook to the chin if she don't have the same SOH "

that's the chances ye take!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just had this line sent to me!! I love it lol

"You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Introduce yourself as frodo. When they ask why ur called that tell them cos im gonna destroy your ring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Introduce yourself as frodo. When they ask why ur called that tell them cos im gonna destroy your ring"

I want an upside down thumb symbol here

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

How do U fancy being guided with my people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you believe in love at first sight or will I walk past you again

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By *am2camhornyCouple
over a year ago

London

Does this cloth smell like cloroform to you?

Best I ever heard! Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does this cloth smell like cloroform to you?

Best I ever heard! Ha ha"

It's a cracker alright. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Introduce yourself as frodo. When they ask why ur called that tell them cos im gonna destroy your ring"

This is just too funny!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True story! In a bar one night in Belfast with the girls. A rather attractive Italian guy says to my (very attractive) friend

"Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?"

Somehow with his sexy accent he got away with it! She had fun for three weeks with her Italian Stallion!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do U fancy being guided with my people "

Auto correct issue?

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville


"I've just had this line sent to me!! I love it lol

"You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry."

"

love it! ! Lol

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