FabSwingers.com forum: The useless guitar!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One with no strings is useless! Right? No sweet music can come from it!

So what does 'NSA (no strings attached) Sex' mean to you then? Where do the strings (feelings) usually associated with sex start and end when it comes to NSA?

Having read and engaged in the forums for a few weeks now I was just wondering and I just think this term (NSA) is used so often but obviously means very different things to different people.

Feel free to share your take on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

Lol @bunny boiler. I never said they were my feelings I was referring to. I just think it's obvious on here that NSA for some is that they have sex then go and there's no further contact. However for others friendships evolve (you see signs of jealousy or maybe protectiveness is a better term to use). Isn't that forming attachments or strings if you like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's people who can't have sex without love, and theirs us who dont need love to have sex which I would assosaite the NSA.

But I have walked on beaches, held hands, chatted all night. Watched the sun rise etc with fabbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try looking up 'Polyamory'.

I think this might be the case for a lot of people.

Both terms, 'Swinging' and 'Polyamory' are closely linked but are different in the way that feelings develop.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's people who can't have sex without love, and theirs us who dont need love to have sex which I would assosaite the NSA.

But I have walked on beaches, held hands, chatted all night. Watched the sun rise etc with fabbers"

That's my point! NSA can mean different things to different people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

To form an attachment to a person does happen I'm sure...but thinking you may end up happily ever after is a string I don't think people want to have

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try looking up 'Polyamory'.

I think this might be the case for a lot of people.

Both terms, 'Swinging' and 'Polyamory' are closely linked but are different in the way that feelings develop.

That's kinda freaky!! I've a friend living in India who has a 'Polyamorous' boyfriend, whom she intends to "get registered to" (not married). Was this conversation at the weekend that lead to my deeper thinking on the subject.

I never mentioned the word 'Love' in my original post. I think you can have various feelings for another but not necessarily love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

To form an attachment to a person does happen I'm sure...but thinking you may end up happily ever after is a string I don't think people want to have

I think you're reading further into what I asked. No mention of 'Love' or "happy ever after" just that maybe NSA is not so black and white after all

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By *0shadesofashWoman
over a year ago

DUBLIN

No strings to me is just fuck and fuck off don't like gettin to close to people cause feelings always come into it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No strings to me is just fuck and fuck off don't like gettin to close to people cause feelings always come into it "

I think that's the intended definition of NSA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think nsa is different things to different people. It can range from shag and go to spending quality time together but at the end of it you both go back to your own lives with some contact between hand. Depends what you and the other person or people want

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By *0shadesofashWoman
over a year ago

DUBLIN

Wen I was single I use always let it get to far be on the phone all the time to them meeting for dinner wish I was the way I am now back then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

To form an attachment to a person does happen I'm sure...but thinking you may end up happily ever after is a string I don't think people want to have

I think you're reading further into what I asked. No mention of 'Love' or "happy ever after" just that maybe NSA is not so black and white after all

I didn't mention love either...

But I think a lot of people think it's a possibility here...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think nsa is different things to different people. It can range from shag and go to spending quality time together but at the end of it you both go back to your own lives with some contact between hand. Depends what you and the other person or people want"

Exactly

depends very much on your circumstances and theirs as to what NSA means between you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly

depends very much on your circumstances and theirs as to what NSA means between you. "

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By *ecretly seductiveWoman
over a year ago

Palookaville

Exactly

depends very much on your circumstances and theirs as to what NSA means between you.

ahh bollocks my thumb stopped working.. This?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Obviously in a relationship there are strings...

ie....meeting the family, walks on the beach, kids, possibility of settling down...bla..bla....bla....

Unless your a bunny boiler I think you may need to reassess....

To form an attachment to a person does happen I'm sure...but thinking you may end up happily ever after is a string I don't think people want to have

I think you're reading further into what I asked. No mention of 'Love' or "happy ever after" just that maybe NSA is not so black and white after all

I didn't mention love either...

But I think a lot of people think it's a possibility here...

Very true (just to clarify, I'm definitely not one). I do think that some may find it though. Good luck to them. It's just that I see NSA written on many profiles but (in some of my personal experiences) not always what they're looking.

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"No strings to me is just fuck and fuck off don't like gettin to close to people cause feelings always come into it

I think that's the intended definition of NSA "

I enjoy sex with people I would be totally incompatible with for reasons varying from political to the fact they watch Coronation Street. I like the sex to be NSA as its easier to meet partners as neither they or I need to be too selective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly

depends very much on your circumstances and theirs as to what NSA means between you. "

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By *obbie65Man
over a year ago

kildare

I have NSA on my profile - I just realised I don't fully mean it. I've had NSA sex on here and it was utterly soulless and scary.

I have also had some wonderful sex.

So a few strands of string is good - a bit of friendship, respect , Craic - without moving into an affair/ heavy emotion territory.

Just like walking a tightrope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr P always says the 4 f's.....a bit harsh lol....but as said above depends on the circumstances...as we are married we have all the extra trimmings anyway....nsa works for us....as in sex and thats it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its an interesting discussion. In my opinion good sex should be mental as well as physical. This means knowing something about the person\people you are with. This requires communication. With communication can come feelings.

Of course this can be avoided if you don't want\need the mental side, but this limits the pleasure that can be taken.

There is a balance to be struck, between knowing\iiking them enough to inject some intimacy, and allowing yourself to get so involved that feeling develop.

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

Yes I do believe NSA has lots of different meanings to different people I like to fourm some kind of friendship, all be it if U like casual friendship not one where U depend on them to come pick U off the floor but more to enjoy each others company be able to have a laugh more friends with benefits. maybe that's just me find em,feel em,finger em,fuck em,and forget em doesn't really work there has to be some kind of interaction to get me in the sack,on the other hand in a party situation I am sure there is a time when U just look at someone knowing we are all here for the same thing that it just happens

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have NSA on my profile - I just realised I don't fully mean it. I've had NSA sex on here and it was utterly soulless and scary.

I have also had some wonderful sex.

So a few strands of string is good - a bit of friendship, respect , Craic - without moving into an affair/ heavy emotion territory.

Just like walking a tightrope. "

I like the tightrope analogy!

I think a lot of people are like you, in that NSA is there without full realisation of the implications of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mr P always says the 4 f's.....a bit harsh lol....but as said above depends on the circumstances...as we are married we have all the extra trimmings anyway....nsa works for us....as in sex and thats it!!

I'd never heard of the 4f's before

and I can see how that makes total sense for couples to secure their relationship but I think it might be different for singles playing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never heard of the 4f's before

and I can see how that makes total sense for couples to secure their relationship but I think it might be different for singles playing. "

Yes i agree different for singles...in saying that not all singles crave anything extra...i sure as hell didnt when i was single...i was like yeah that was great see you never lol...4 f's find them/feel them/fuck them/forget them......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess that's my answer. NSA in it's simplest form is the 4f's anything else really isn't NSA but that definition is decided upon by the people in question who meet.

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By *obbie65Man
over a year ago

kildare

Sex is a powerful driver of emotions. You remember when you were a teenager - a quick fumble and you were infatuated.

I think i prefer the fb analogy - a bit of friendship with good sex - with either party backing off at any stage. An awareness there is no future in it and if it starts affecting your every day life - time to stop and get back to reality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sex is a powerful driver of emotions. You remember when you were a teenager - a quick fumble and you were infatuated.

Well yes a FB scenario is a whole different kettle of fish!! May even have started off as NSA (at least in one of the persons minds).

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By *j47Man
over a year ago

limerick

In reality most engage in some kind of emotional stimulation I am sure the amount who answer the "fancy a fuck" mail are few and far,most will tell U they like to chat and get to know a person before they jump in the sack so id think its more of a friends with benefits than the five fs

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