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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess for shits and giggles I'll start.
I once chatted to a girl for quite a long time, and ended up organising a hotel meet in Belfast. As a bit of a humorous surprise, I thought I should go onto LoveHoney and get a pair of rip off boxers for a laugh and do some rather stupid d*unken strip for the lass. A few days later, the package arrived, and I was gob smacked at how crap they looked, black material on the front, and a see through material on the arse.
Regardless, I wore them thinking it would be funny. Queue that evening, and my d*unken stupor had led to my strip down to the point of ripping off the boxers. Now, it was never said where was best to hold onto these boxers to rip them off, and, d*unkenly, I never considered what implications may arise out of holding them in the wrong place. What followed next was possibly the most excruciating pain I have had since my last accident with a zipper...
I had grabbed the boxers on each side, right on the Velcro lines, and with an exaggerated wave of my arms, pulled as hard as I could in hope that they'd end up in one hand so I could hold them and do a helicopter dance...
No, instead those Velcro boxers stayed right where they were, and instead proceeded to give me one of the most painful wedgies as the material rose giving me male camel toe, and in doing so splitting and causing a material burn right across the meat and two veg. I then did the most manly thing I could; in my height of physical distress, I crumpled to the ground, hands between my legs and adopted the foetal position, more than likely slowly rocking back and forth like a mentally disturbed and broken man... All the while hearing the cackling of the once sexy woman I was now calling a witch under my breath as she leered above me...
I got my own back in the end, but that's another story   |
