FabSwingers.com forum: weekend jokes add yours

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently

was faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would

put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their

lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little

lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the

girls would put them back.

Several memos were posted about this. Finally the principal decided that

something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the

maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing

a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every

night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she

asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was

required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and

cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Things that are difficult to say when you're d*unk...

a) Innovative

b) Preliminary

c) Proliferation

d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're d*unk...

a) Specificity

b) British Constitution

c) Passive-aggressive disorder

d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're d*unk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.

b) Nope, no more booze for me.

c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.

d) No kebab for me, thank you.

e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

f) I'm not interested in fighting you.

g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.

h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.

i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.

j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An African-American was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was in the kitchen fixing lunch. The baby murmured "mother." The guy gets all excited and hollered to his wife, "Hey, the baby just said half a word!"

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