FabSwingers.com forum: Driven to delete profile

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A very good friend of mine has been forced to delete her profile from here due to constant and nasty disgusting abuse received from a male she met for coffee . Threats of violence and outing her lifestyle choice to her family and community ! How can this happen ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's horrific to hear.

How did he already know all her personal details after only meeting for coffee?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He trawled Facebook and Twitter and anywhere else he could get info ! She met him n got a bad vibe so said thanks but no thanks !

She deleted because she was scared

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously it's awful that he made her feel that way. But he would have only been able to find her FB and Twitter account if she had given him personal information such as her full name or the email account linked to the other accounts.

I recommend that she goes to the guarda right away as he's blackmailing her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Iv already told her !

She has all the messages amd threats and his IP address can be traced so hopefully he won't do this to anyone else !

He knew her first name and the town she's from !

He went from there to get info

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened to me on other site. Guy threathened me too. He made up New profiles and approached me with them. I figured him out though I couldnt report the first profile but reported 2nd and 3rd. Nothing happened thank God 'and he didnt know where I lived but it made me so much more careful with telling people private things. Never tell your surname! They can find you on Facebook and can even get to your kids. Maybe just fakename altogether, kik no phon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some people just don't get it !

What is going on !

Hope it's done now she was very scared as were you I'm sure !

Assholes

Ruining it for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously it's awful that he made her feel that way. But he would have only been able to find her FB and Twitter account if she had given him personal information such as her full name or the email account linked to the other accounts.

I recommend that she goes to the guarda right away as he's blackmailing her. "

Totally agree!...

But at the end of the day, these people work on whatever info they're given!!

1. Never give out your full name - if someone asks, use the name on your profile...

2. Never give out your address (obvious)...

3. Never state what other sites you're on (especially if you've given your name)...

4. If someone asks what you do or where you work, ask if they want your PPI number too!!

Stay safe people!

I won't always be there to save the day!

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By *omcattyMan
over a year ago

Local

"He trawled Facebook and Twitter and anywhere else he could get info ! She met him n got a bad vibe so said thanks but no thanks !

She deleted because she was scared "

met for coffee she got a bad vibe, why would she give ANY info

don't get it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After they were done she got the vibe

The info was just passed in conversation !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

The info was just passed in conversation ! "
face pits shouldn't exist on here as u just reverse seArch them and find any copies on the net..... And one its on here its connected to fabbers......no matter what..... No face Pics people......no names.....not necessary ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its an awful feeling to be harassed and threatened and it makes your whole world, your family, your kids your work feel very vulnerable and exposed. She might not have enough details of him to go to the guards... I didnt in my case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's the problem with the no name/no details policy as jack mentions. if someone does happen what do you do?

In my case I had a phone number so the guards called him....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recommend that she goes to the guarda right away as he's blackmailing her.

Totally agree!...

But at the end of the day, these people work on whatever info they're given!!

1. Never give out your full name - if someone asks, use the name on your profile...

2. Never give out your address (obvious)...

3. Never state what other sites you're on (especially if you've given your name)...

4. If someone asks what you do or where you work, ask if they want your PPI number too!!

Stay safe people!

I won't always be there to save the day!

Really peeps it's up to you all to ensure personal safety

I never give my location

I never give my name ( not less I'm meeting regularly which means trust has been built)

First meets are always for coffee on a shopping complex where my car can't be seen and direction I drive can't be noticed

The only contact number given is for a throwaway phone

Kik is used for chatting

FB is for real life friends I wouldn't even add female friend from here to it cos people do talk and things get around

This is the internet. It's full of nutters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its an awful feeling to be harassed and threatened and it makes your whole world, your family, your kids your work feel very vulnerable and exposed. She might not have enough details of him to go to the guards... I didnt in my case."
she should get another fabbers to set him up for meet....and let the guRds or a few mates wait for him.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its an awful feeling to be harassed and threatened and it makes your whole world, your family, your kids your work feel very vulnerable and exposed. She might not have enough details of him to go to the guards... I didnt in my case.she should get another fabbers to set him up for meet....and let the guRds or a few mates wait for him.....

"
good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dat is awful poor woman hope the guards do something for her. Der is a guy on dis from waterford who is lookin for details like dat and phone number for fonesex and wen i said no not intrested he set up 2more pages and added me and started asking same questions again u always have to be aware and safe and if ur unsure or get bad feeling walk away. Always tell a friend where ur goin and who with helps if u have a friend on the site who understands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all well and good not giving away personal info in conversations, but in the age of the internet and smartphone, a lot of you have no idea how much info you're already giving out. I work in the technology sector and see it every day.

Case in point:

I must stress that i happened on this by accident, and will not divulge how i obtained this info, nor would i ever use it against the parties involved, as i'm not a nutcase.

We had a meet with a couple where our personal phone numbers we swapped. no problem, we like these people and will meet them again, and vice versa, we get on etc..

from the phone number alone, i found out their exact location, and their personal facebook page. this was down to apps i had installed on my phone. I must stress again, i did not do this on purpose. I found out this info as a by product of certain apps that a lot of you may already have on your phone, so i'm not gonna explain on a public forum how to do it.

If you want to minimise your "digital footprint" I can offer you the following tips:

1. buy a throwaway phone number (it ALL starts here) and only use that for swinging.

2. dont register that number with the shop you buy it from, or with the network (or if you must use a false name)

3. learn your privacy setting on your social media accounts. learn how to lock them down.

4. dont attach any phone numbers to your social media accounts.

5. learn how the location services work on your phone

6. create a throwaway email address/skype/kik/whatever the hell you want and use that for swinging only

7. If you feel you need to, use a false name for swinging.

8. dont use the face pics you decide to use here on any other non swinging site...we found someone using one of their (non face) facebook pictures here on their profile...i mean come on!

To summerise, if you're worried about privacy, learn to control what others know about you, or feed them misinformation. the above advice may not stop a determined tech savvy weirdo, but might deter a casual data collecting nutjob.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the positive comments and support for her guys and gals she is touched !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all the positive comments and support for her guys and gals she is touched ! "
never mind touched.....tell her get back on....99% chance its just a keyboard bully.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just want to add, many of you might have questions about wanting to be safer online but due to the nature of our "activities" would be afraid to ask.

If any of you are going to the cork meet and greet and have concerns, i'd be happy to give you advice. just pop over and say hello.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened me also but I never actually met the person. I was just unfortunate enough to share a face pic with someone who obviously new me. They then proceeded to share my profile with my family members and husband via Facebook. They set up a profile on here and fooled my verifications into giving out their contact details which were also sent with the messages. Admin here closed it down as did Facebook but the damage was done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This happened me also but I never actually met the person. I was just unfortunate enough to share a face pic with someone who obviously new me. They then proceeded to share my profile with my family members and husband via Facebook. They set up a profile on here and fooled my verifications into giving out their contact details which were also sent with the messages. Admin here closed it down as did Facebook but the damage was done. "
fuck

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

Personal safety is s must !!!!!

Im very wary who I chat to let alone meet .hope op friend gets it sorted.

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By *ohnsmithMan
over a year ago

South Tipperary

"I just want to add, many of you might have questions about wanting to be safer online but due to the nature of our "activities" would be afraid to ask.

If any of you are going to the cork meet and greet and have concerns, i'd be happy to give you advice. just pop over and say hello."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always always trust your gut instinct!! If in doubt dont meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And yet and yet and yet. ..

A significant minority of profiles say "no face pic no reply"

Crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it seems some people are just nasty it just makes you think how low some people will sink if they think harassing and blackmailing someone will what get them laid

. Hope your friends ok and knows there are good people on here too clearly many here with good advice and support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great advice from sexy- slut.

I had to start a new profile after a lady I was meeting was outed by another member. Her husband the hounded me on fab and kik with so serious treats. Let's just say it got very nasty.

Scared the shite out of me what info he had and how he was going to use it to find me and others on her friends list.

All because she didn feel comfortable meeting a member.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/14 15:44:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all well and good not giving away personal info in conversations, but in the age of the internet and smartphone, a lot of you have no idea how much info you're already giving out. I work in the technology sector and see it every day.

Case in point:

I must stress that i happened on this by accident, and will not divulge how i obtained this info, nor would i ever use it against the parties involved, as i'm not a nutcase.

We had a meet with a couple where our personal phone numbers we swapped. no problem, we like these people and will meet them again, and vice versa, we get on etc..

If you want to minimise your "digital footprint" I can offer you the following tips:

1. buy a throwaway phone number (it ALL starts here) and only use that for swinging.

2. dont register that number with the shop you buy it from, or with the network (or if you must use a false name)

3. learn your privacy setting on your social media accounts. learn how to lock them down.

4. dont attach any phone numbers to your social media accounts.

5. learn how the location services work on your phone

6. create a throwaway email address/skype/kik/whatever the hell you want and use that for swinging only

7. If you feel you need to, use a false name for swinging.

8. dont use the face pics you decide to use here on any other non swinging site...we found someone using one of their (non face) facebook pictures here on their profile...i mean come on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Case in point:

I must stress that i happened on this by accident, and will not divulge how i obtained this info, nor would i ever use it against the parties involved, as i'm not a nutcase.

We had a meet with a couple where our personal phone numbers we swapped. no problem, we like these people and will meet them again, and vice versa, we get on etc..

If you want to minimise your "digital footprint" I can offer you the following tips:

1. buy a throwaway phone number (it ALL starts here) and only use that for swinging.

2. dont register that number with the shop you buy it from, or with the network (or if you must use a false name)

3. learn your privacy setting on your social media accounts. learn how to lock them down.

4. dont attach any phone numbers to your social media accounts.

5. learn how the location services work on your phone

6. create a throwaway email address/skype/kik/whatever the hell you want and use that for swinging only

7. If you feel you need to, use a false name for swinging.

8. dont use the face pics you decide to use here on any other non swinging site...we found someone using one of their (non face) facebook pictures here on their profile...i mean come on!

Really excellent post and advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's unfortunate that things like this happen, ruins it for the rest of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He trawled Facebook and Twitter and anywhere else he could get info ! She met him n got a bad vibe so said thanks but no thanks !

She deleted because she was scared "

did she report him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

The info was just passed in conversation ! face pits shouldn't exist on here as u just reverse seArch them and find any copies on the net..... And one its on here its connected to fabbers......no matter what..... No face Pics people......no names.....not necessary ......"

Is it safe to keep face pics in private?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

Is it safe to keep face pics in private? "

Probably not as soon as a pic is out there it's there to be found. Though the chances can be limited, take GPS or location services on your phone, on here tick the box that doesn't allow images to be found on Google searches(think it's under account preferences) and lock down your filters on Facebook, Twitter etc too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

Is it safe to keep face pics in private? "

i think it is,i have a face pic for friends,but tbh im not tht bothered who sees my face!im single and not doing anything wrong so i dont care!and i wudnt meet anyone without seeing a face pic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its an awful feeling to be harassed and threatened and it makes your whole world, your family, your kids your work feel very vulnerable and exposed. She might not have enough details of him to go to the guards... I didnt in my case.she should get another fabbers to set him up for meet....and let the guRds or a few mates wait for him.....

Hold on a minute now, while i wholly condemn what this person has done and really think its despicable however having a few mates round at a set up meet would only drag the person down to his level and violence of any kind can never be condoned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one mentioned violence.....sure it wouldnt be safe to go alone....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one mentioned violence.....sure it wouldnt be safe to go alone...."

then if its not safe why arrange a meet, pls explain further as maybe i am missing something, she met him already, so he knows what she looks like, she doesn't want or like his demeanour, why arrange a second meet under an alias with other ppl there in secrecy. I am a bit puzzled to what you are suggesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

Is it safe to keep face pics in private?

Think ive done that already ty...i think u get gut feelings just chatting to folk so definitely a good guide. All very good advice so ty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After they were done she got the vibe

Is it safe to keep face pics in private?

i think it is,i have a face pic for friends,but tbh im not tht bothered who sees my face!im single and not doing anything wrong so i dont care!and i wudnt meet anyone without seeing a face pic!"

I kp them private and i only meet with my other half but still wouldnt like my face out there lol like u i also like to see a face pic n its not vanity its about attraction/connection

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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago

around

Another piece of advice is don't bring strangers to your home on first meet especially if youve kids!!!

BTW if all you've been doing is msging, texting or phoning someone, they're still a stranger

Sometimes paranoia is good...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another piece of advice is don't bring strangers to your home on first meet especially if youve kids!!!

BTW if all you've been doing is msging, texting or phoning someone, they're still a stranger

Sometimes paranoia is good..."

just dont bring them to ur home full stop. no one is worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely out of order ! i fucking hate that shite if sum1 doesnt want to speak to sum1 else their wishes should be respected. She should "name and shame" the prick we have all been rejected at 1 time or another (pls dont say im the only 1 lol) Move on and get over it. People like him will destroy this site. i feel sorry 4 that girl SHE SHOULD STAY IN SPITE OF HIM !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with firecracker, even my regular meets have never stepped foot in my house or ever will, my swinging lifestyle is not something i wanna mix with being a mom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have stopped all meets after what happened to us now luckly enough we did not meet the person from this site but we wont be having anyone at our house again i suppose you just have to be so care full now days some nutters out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That must have been very scarey for that lady i hope she gave his no and his details to the police and he should be named and shamed and banned off here for good . Its unreal the sort of lowlife thats out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we need to form a committee here and asign a few (genuine) real male members to ruffle up a few feathers/have a word in these so called mens ears.

It may quieten them.

Feel sorry for the women

and to be honest I'm getting sick of hearing from every woman I've met that she had a stalker here.

Time to resort to this (there doesn't have to be violence)

Just back up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another piece of advice is don't bring strangers to your home on first meet especially if youve kids!!!

BTW if all you've been doing is msging, texting or phoning someone, they're still a stranger

Sometimes paranoia is good...

just dont bring them to ur home full stop. no one is worth it

You know how many men try to get around this? They say they're all respectful and meet you for coffee only. But when it comes to actually meeting up, suddenly they find an excuse and try to convince me to invite them to my place straight away. I'm not kidding, about 80% of guys who were nice and friendly when chatting, try this. E.g. text 1hr before the meet and something happened and can I not come to your place, etc.... This is why most of my meets fall through. Now I'm not saying that they're all freaks or stalkers, probably most of them are attached and don't want to be seen with me in public. But I find it extremely disrespectful how so many men disregard the want and need of a fellow fabber's safety.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

It's a pretty impressive piece of detective work though, to get from a first name and a town to having all her personal details. The police can't even manage that.

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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago

around

"Another piece of advice is don't bring strangers to your home on first meet especially if youve kids!!!

BTW if all you've been doing is msging, texting or phoning someone, they're still a stranger

Sometimes paranoia is good...

just dont bring them to ur home full stop. no one is worth it

I agree with you there but the amount of times I've heard that others do is unbelievable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread should be a sticky, so much good advice on here. The amount of times Ive been asked my real name, where I work, where I live etc is crazy, I don't accom so where I live is not an issue, I live in Belfast which is a small enough city, yet when I won't give out general location I get accused of being up my own ass lol. Your personal details have no bearing on what you get up to fabwise, it isn't a dating site, you don't need to know what starsign someone is ffs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a pretty impressive piece of detective work though, to get from a first name and a town to having all her personal details. The police can't even manage that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we need to form a committee here and asign a few (genuine) real male members to ruffle up a few feathers/have a word in these so called mens ears.

It may quieten them.

Feel sorry for the women

and to be honest I'm getting sick of hearing from every woman I've met that she had a stalker here.

Time to resort to this (there doesn't have to be violence)

Just back up

"
I had a stalker on other site starting with Plenty....

Find fab quite good sofar and think Ive developed a sense for genuine and not genuine ppl. The bad experience made me realise though to protect my family. To be more private and to set my boundaries. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

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By *imwildWoman
over a year ago

around

I had a stalker on other site starting with Plenty....

Some have the attitude 'sure it won't happen to me' or ' chances are slim'. Better to be safe than sorry.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a pretty impressive piece of detective work though, to get from a first name and a town to having all her personal details. The police can't even manage that.

"
first name town and a mental pic from their meet.....not so hard when u know what they look like

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
over a year ago

My town

What if someone gives you a location of where they live cause that don't have to be the right location at all.

You will not have a hope in hell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I arrange a coffee meet that's all it will be and then if all goes well arrange another date for another nite don't see the point in rushing to get a meet and straight for fun , I respect ladies not just another notch on the bedpost just becoz its a sex site doesn't mean you have to have it straight after you meet sumbody each person does things differently

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