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crudest joke you've heard ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Jimmy Carr joke on tv last night.

How do you make a gay man have sex with a woman?

Shit in her pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ewwwww not one of his better jokes

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By *rishsteveMan
over a year ago

carlow

More tradgedy hits South Africe as Nelson,s brother Sam Mandela dies of food poisoning

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By *rishsteveMan
over a year ago

carlow

I got sacked last night from the Vincent de Paul soup kitchen.Ungrateful fuckers !! All I said was hurry up for fucks sake - some of us have homes to go to" !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I got sacked last night from the Vincent de Paul soup kitchen.Ungrateful fuckers !! All I said was hurry up for fucks sake - some of us have homes to go to" !!!!!! "

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

The cops came to my door last night to tell me that my wife had been involved in a trafficaccident and that she's critical. I said that sounds like her alright.

That's not really crude enough though, is it? I'm sure I can do better than that.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off.

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

To which the Tramp replies, "Some fella just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a Hurley stick and a knackers pussy?

You'd take a lick of a Hurley stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jimmy Carr joke on tv last night.

How do you make a gay man have sex with a woman?

Shit in her pussy "

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

I'm not a racist.

Racism is a crime, and crime is something foreigners do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, Nelson Mandela dies at 95.... That's 5 miles an hour faster than Paul Walker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New Mikey Cyrus DVD :E15

Tub of Vaseline: E 3

XL box of tissues: E2

The look of disguest on cashiers face as you pay: Priceless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy walks in to a library and asks for a book on suicide......

Fuck off says the librarian, you won't bring it back....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A guy walks in to a library and asks for a book on suicide......

Fuck off says the librarian, you won't bring it back...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So there's two men and a woman, marooned on a desert island. They have plenty of food and water, but they're stuck there. Eventually, they start to have certain desires, and it basically turns into a mini-orgy. This is all going along fine until the woman starts to get depressed, she's so depressed at being stuck on the island that she kills herself.

So there's just the two men left, and they still have plenty of food and water, but certain urges take control, and they find ways of relieving them, so to speak. This is all going along fine until one of the men says to the other "I don't like this, I don't think it's right". The other man says "Yeah, we really should bury her".

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By *rishsteveMan
over a year ago

carlow

A guy I work with said to me he was going to end his life.He was going to pour a gallon of petrol over himself and light a match I told him "Ahmed its times like these you need your family around you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well there's a young guy out walking near the river. A old guy is sitting on the bank watching a fly. Confused the young guy asks him why are you so interested in that fly.

The old guy says to him well you see the fly he's being watched by that fish in the water. And watching that fish is the cat over there on the bank. Still confused the young guy asks well what are you all waiting for?

The old guy explains the fish is waiting for the fly to drop six inches. So he can get it. The cat is waiting for the fish to get the fly.

And sure enough the fly dropped six inches the fish comes up to get the fly and the cat dives in to get the fish.

Amazed the young guy asks him how did you know that would happen.

The old guy tells him it's simple really.

When the fly goes down six inches the pussy gets wet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bill and Ben the flowerpot men are in the hot tub together...

Bill says to Ben "flub a dub a lub blub"

Ben says to Bill "if ye really loved me ye'd swallow it all"

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By *ig Rick7Man
over a year ago

Portadown

Got a new porn DVD yesterdsu. Took it home and put it in the machine. But the picture was very dark and grainy and all I cud see was some guy wankin. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not a racist.

Racism is a crime, and crime is something foreigners do! "

Stealing this for twitter

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By *hrobjMan
over a year ago

Bristol

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol def gave me chuckle !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

was at the racism joke lol

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By *aid backMan
over a year ago

by a lake with my rod out


"I'm not a racist.

Racism is a crime, and crime is something foreigners do! "

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man meets a woman in a bar one night and brings her home and fucks her, when theyre finished he asks the woman whats her profession to which she replys "a nurse" so the man says "you must have seen your fair share of penis's in your time" to which the nurse replys "I have" so the man says " how does mine compare" the nurse replys "well yours is a bit bigger than most I have seen in my line of work" the man delighted with himself asks what sort of nursing she does to which she replys that she is a midwife lol

Not crude but made me lol when I heard it

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By *0shadesofashWoman
over a year ago

DUBLIN

Why do women have foreheads?

You have to kiss them somewhere after a blow job.

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By *rodie53Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I see peaches geldof dosnt like mondays either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its not that crude but i like it....

what's better than roses around your piano...

tulips round your organ....

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