FabSwingers.com forum: Best insult you ever heard/used/used on you

By *ourtJester OP Man
2 weeks ago

carlow

I do love a good funny jovial insult. What's the best you ever heard. Both of mine were overheard

Work- you couldn't pour piss out of a bucket even if the instructions were on the underneath.

Out- you look like the type of lad who likes to eat a mars bar upside down just to feel the veins on your tongue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicyboobiesWoman
2 weeks ago

Newtownbutler

The tide wouldn't take him/her out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s LollyWoman
2 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

You're hotter than a junkies spoon 🤷

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicyboobiesWoman
2 weeks ago

Newtownbutler

"You're hotter than a junkies spoon 🤷"

😂🤣 I'm stealing this one 😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourtJester OP Man
2 weeks ago

carlow

"You're hotter than a junkies spoon 🤷"

Jaysus, id take that as a compliment. Hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *errardNo8Man
2 weeks ago

Galway/Mayo

I heard someone shout get back in your biscuit tin, to someone who's ginger. I thought it was hilarious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eordie.Woman
2 weeks ago

The Sticks

I wouldn't ride him into battle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iablo soloWoman
2 weeks ago

dub

Yeah I also got the junkies spoon one but the longer version🤣 hotter than a junkies spoon on welfare day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *upermanslovechildMan
2 weeks ago

Killiney

They have a face like slapped arse/ as red as a Baboon's arse/ like a sack of spanners (I know the common one is a sack of spuds, but I like spanners as it tends to confuse the person and I lob another insult at them as they stand there stunned)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wingersGilfandDHCouple
2 weeks ago

London, United Kingdom

I was called a pig mid blowjob.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere

The best bit of you ran down your ma's leg is my favorite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rRiosMan
2 weeks ago

dublin

Your birth cert is an apology letter from the condom factory

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etttyyWoman
2 weeks ago

Belfast

You’re so hot if you ate bread you’d shite toast 😂😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSultry-MinxWoman
2 weeks ago

city

I don't have enough crayons in the box to explain this to you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere

"You’re so hot if you ate bread you’d shite toast 😂😂"

Brilliant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere

"I don't have enough crayons in the box to explain this to you"

Very good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourtJester OP Man
2 weeks ago

carlow

"Your birth cert is an apology letter from the condom factory "

Stealing that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adger BrocMan
2 weeks ago

North Cork

Was once told by a lady on here...

"Even Dyno-Rod wouldn't unblock you"

🪠

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oingMan
2 weeks ago

Co. Antrim

I do enjoy insults. Bookmarking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anfromgalway26Man
2 weeks ago

Galway

“If you had 2 brains..you would be twice as stupid “😄

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wcoastMan
2 weeks ago

londonderry

Don't flatter yourself dear!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anfromgalway26Man
2 weeks ago

Galway

"I wouldn't ride him into battle "
I love this one👍🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osscopekoMan
2 weeks ago

clondalkin

You’ve a face on you like a dog that’s been shown a card trick! 🤔

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscuits8Man
2 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

If he had two brains he'd be twice as fuckin' thick

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otel CaliforniaCouple
2 weeks ago

Dublin

"You're hotter than a junkies spoon 🤷"

Brilliant!!! First time I heard that one 😂

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idnightMischief69Couple
2 weeks ago

Newry

Wife actually used this one

Thew a condom at someone and said if you are going to ack like a dick start dressing like one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arathon41Man
2 weeks ago

killeagh

2 used against me were 1 ur as mad as a bag of badgers and 2 i wouldnt ride u into battle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *manteeCouple
2 weeks ago

Manchester

If you had twice as many brains you would be a half wit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildarekinkstersCouple
2 weeks ago

kinkytown

You've been laid more times then carpet

You smell like a badger arsehole

You're dumber then pinky from pinky and the brain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkywife1981Couple
2 weeks ago

A town near you

Id call you a c_nt but that would imply you had some use.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allie99_99Man
2 weeks ago

Loughrea

I can lose this weight but you will always be f"cking ugly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uca_BrazzyMan
2 weeks ago

Donegal

As useful as tits on a bull

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixerjohnMan
2 weeks ago

Ennis

He's as thick as the gable end of the Village Inn.

As much use as a chocolate teapot.

A face like a slapped arse on her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urkgigglerMan
2 weeks ago

Cork

Knew a fella called bungalow... nothing upstairs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irelli555Man
2 weeks ago

Dublin Galway Clare Limerick

You’ve a face on ya that would run rats from a barn

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izandpaulCouple
2 weeks ago

merseyside

Your ego writes cheques your ability can't cash.

For a guy who liked to brag too much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
2 weeks ago

Lucan

From a fella who didn't like England...

"You're so fuckin' thick that you could fuck off to England and both countries would be better off!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izandpaulCouple
2 weeks ago

merseyside

"They have a face like slapped arse/ as red as a Baboon's arse/ like a sack of spanners (I know the common one is a sack of spuds, but I like spanners as it tends to confuse the person and I lob another insult at them as they stand there stunned)"

I like the one for a red face.

Got a face like a farmers arse on a frosty morning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rystalsswingCouple
2 weeks ago

Galway /West / Dublin

Her arse was so big you could sit on it.

If there was work in the bed he'd sleep on the floor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umbleweed.Man
2 weeks ago

Naas

"I'm sorry I offended you by calling you stupid, ...

I thought you already knew"🫣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ursecretmischiefCouple
2 weeks ago

Westmeath The West.

Said about a fella who was mean as fuck...

"He's as tight as two coats of paint!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookAndDorkCouple
2 weeks ago

The West

He's about as useful as a glass hammer that fella.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heMountain29Man
2 weeks ago

Limerick

Some babys were dropped, you must have been dribbled (basketball joke)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink buddiesCouple
2 weeks ago

birmingham

[Removed by poster at 15/06/26 20:02:03]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
2 weeks ago

Ballsbridge, City Centre

Your wan has been banged more times than a back door

She’s taken more loads than a washing machine

They’d put her photo on the mantelpiece to keep the kids away from the fire

A sniper wouldn’t take her out

He got his mothers cock (for a less well endowed gentleman)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *apri 555Man
2 weeks ago

wexford or Dublin

If they put your brain in a pidgin it would fly home backwards.

That fella only has 2 brain cells and both are fighting for 3rd place,

Heard both of them on the radio today 🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arrie69Man
2 weeks ago

Dublin

You have a face like a Bulldog licking piss of a Nettel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ewcouplesdCouple
2 weeks ago

Dublin

Wouldn't get up on him/ her to get over a wall

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lue eyesMan
2 weeks ago

cavan

Your that ugly a sniper wouldn't take you out..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urious-Couple13Couple
2 weeks ago

around

Brain eating bacteria is safe around you

Ya wouldn’t ride her/him into battle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olly1980Man
2 weeks ago

Limerick, Clare

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ramerMan
2 weeks ago

Thought manual labour was a spanish waiter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ay_Gatsby_D4Man
2 weeks ago

Ballsbridge, City Centre

She’s no show pony but she’d do for a ride about the house

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ookAndDorkCouple
2 weeks ago

The West

Face like he's been chasing parked cars.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *of spadesMan
2 weeks ago

Kilkenny

There's more brains in the head of a hatchet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *og-ManMan
2 weeks ago

somewhere

"She’s no show pony but she’d do for a ride about the house"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zippyMan
2 weeks ago

Wexford

He has a look on his face like a goat staring at thunder.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hristianGray2005Man
2 weeks ago

Galway Mayo Clare Roscommon

He’s tighter than a ducks arse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anon17Man
2 weeks ago

mayo

Tits on a Bull would be more useful than the that young lad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi RaeWoman
2 weeks ago

orbiting

I had a man say I had bad posture

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ew adventures99Man
2 weeks ago

city

When god was giving out brains, you thought he said trains and asked for a slow one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nythingsoloCouple
2 weeks ago

Sexy town

How can you soar like an eagle when dealing with a turkey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ombikerMan
2 weeks ago

the right side of the river

I heard about a useless apprentice.

That lad couldn't wipe his arse without getting shite to the elbow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rish PDI ReprobatesCouple (FF)
2 weeks ago

Holiday to Gran Canaria

'He has a mouth that'd make an arse jealous'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yhonWoman
2 weeks ago

Dublin Wicklow

"Face like a welders bench"

"Hit every branch, twig & leaf of the ugly tree on their way down"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oung bull500Man
2 weeks ago

dublin

A sniper wouldn’t take you out 🤣👌

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *readnbutter30Couple
2 weeks ago

portlaoise

There as ase useful as a ashtray on a motorbike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *readnbutter30Couple
2 weeks ago

portlaoise

[Removed by poster at 16/06/26 10:00:55]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *od75Man
2 weeks ago

galway

Your mother should have swallowed you when she had chance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousandboldCouple
2 weeks ago

Fermanagh

Take a deep breaths.

What's that you're doing.

Answers breathing.

Well your wasting perfectly good oxygen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imberly445Man
2 weeks ago

Downpatrick

That's shocking, I hope you didn't sink the teeth in afterwards lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imberly445Man
2 weeks ago

Downpatrick

The best part of you is still on your ma's curtains 🤣🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky grandadMan
2 weeks ago

Spain

If ink was brains you wouldn't have enough for a full stop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olly1980Man
2 weeks ago

Limerick, Clare

I've seen more brains in blow up dolls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ewcorkcpl23Couple
2 weeks ago

Cork

" An intelligent taught would die of loneliness in that ones head "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etmebeurfantasyWoman
2 weeks ago

My town

Your gonna be buried in a "Y-shaped coffin"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichael McCarthyMan
2 weeks ago

Lucan

The old old classic, "she's the original good time that's been had by all"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *econds!!Couple
2 weeks ago

Southside

Love to continue this battle of wits, but I see you've come unarmed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex0x28Man
2 weeks ago

Up the Bohs

🤣😂that had me spitting my coffee all over myself
"You're hotter than a junkies spoon 🤷"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oveat1stfeelMan
2 weeks ago

turnrightstraightahead

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.

Some might think a person stupid , better off not to open ones mouth & remove all doubt .

Loads of brilliant ones but atm...can't think of them 🤣🤣🤣

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ahankly21Man
2 weeks ago

MIdleton

I once bought a spanking new Audi A4, I had it a few weeks and a guy in a small old car pulled out in front of me, I was very polite and asked him to move l to which he responded “fuck off you capitalist cunt in your fucking Audi” I loved it, success lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex coupleCouple
2 weeks ago

wexford

Yiur so sexy I’d use your shite as toothpaste

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ewcouplesdCouple
2 weeks ago

Dublin

Useful as a handbrake on a canoe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adJennyWoman
2 weeks ago

Cougar Village

Used this on someone recently “ the door knob has more braincells “

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hiaZen7.5Man
2 weeks ago

Centre

"Her jaw would take a punch from Mike Tyson" was very creative...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rystalsswingCouple
2 weeks ago

Galway /West / Dublin

"Yiur so sexy I’d use your shite as toothpaste "

Jesus 🙈

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uca_BrazzyMan
2 weeks ago

Donegal

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *assionwithoutsinMan
2 weeks ago

Ballymoney

Eye lashes on ye like a set of car mats from the Friday market

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *littlebitoffunMan
2 weeks ago

east antrim

Your not as stupid as you look

You couldnt be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyKaty33Woman
2 weeks ago

Cork

I contemplate this regularly with interactions I have to endure 🤭 'The acoustics in your brain must be phenomenal'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idnightMischief69Couple
2 weeks ago

Newry

You have a face for the radio and a voice that makes me wish I was deaf

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tevie-wonderboyMan
2 weeks ago

Limerick

Good insult I've heard is. You should carry a plant around to help replace the oxygen you are wasting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issy_named_cTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Edinburgh

You've a face like a melted welly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourguiltypleasureMan
2 weeks ago

Great personality though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rystalsswingCouple
2 weeks ago

Galway /West / Dublin

"Great personality though"

The ultimate shoot down 🙈

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rish-blacksmithMan
2 weeks ago

Cork

You really are the peak of the bell curve!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heboss1977Man
2 weeks ago

Leitrim / West Cavan/ Longford

A face like a bulldog that licked piss of a nettle and Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estbimanMan
2 weeks ago

Dungannon

“Ach sure weren’t they uglier than a bag of worms?”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Look in the mirror, that’s why condoms are for cousins

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razy-CplCouple
2 weeks ago

Cork

Ya wouldn't bate snow off a rope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aptain Caveman41Man
2 weeks ago

Home

A face like a melted wellington.

A Long streak of misery

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ePreferPineappleCouple
2 weeks ago

near by

It’s commendable how committed you are to be wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread