FabSwingers.com forum: Things not to say on your first social coffee with someone

By *og-Man OP Man
4 weeks ago

somewhere

We have to hurry my wife is just doing the family shop across the road

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
4 weeks ago

Newry

I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?

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By *wingme22Man
4 weeks ago

Galway

Where do you stand on anal fisting?

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By *itty14Couple
4 weeks ago

kilkenny

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?"

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just spat out my tea when I read that

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
4 weeks ago

Lucan

Do you like a big black one yourself?

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By *iscuits8Man
4 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?"

Eh... this one works I'll have you know.

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By *rMarkGreeneMan
4 weeks ago

Roscrea

I heard a guy had a condom on the table when his date arrived

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
4 weeks ago

Lucan

"I heard a guy had a condom on the table when his date arrived

I tried that once. She said it would have been even better if it hadn't been a used one.

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By *rMarkGreeneMan
4 weeks ago

Roscrea

"I heard a guy had a condom on the table when his date arrived

I tried that once. She said it would have been even better if it hadn't been a used one.

But we are meant to recycle everything these days

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By *enerationfornicationMan
4 weeks ago

In a place not far from...

"I heard a guy had a condom on the table when his date arrived

I tried that once. She said it would have been even better if it hadn't been a used one.

But we are meant to recycle everything these days

Don't think it qualifies as reduce, reuse, recycle - if it did, the greens would of created a quango strategy to make recommendations for viability as part of the sustainable plan entitled...

Jobs for the boys!

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

"I heard a guy had a condom on the table when his date arrived

I tried that once. She said it would have been even better if it hadn't been a used one.

🤣🤣🤣🤮

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
4 weeks ago

Newry

I love a nice creamy one

But back to the thread in hand...

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

Your making a big big mistake not fucking me....

(Actually happened recently, and everyone knows how telling someone that will change their mind straight away 🤣🤣)

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By *og-Man OP Man
4 weeks ago

somewhere

"Your making a big big mistake not fucking me....

(Actually happened recently, and everyone knows how telling someone that will change their mind straight away 🤣🤣)"

You told me you wouldn't tell anyone

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
4 weeks ago

Lucan

"Your making a big big mistake not fucking me....

(Actually happened recently, and everyone knows how telling someone that will change their mind straight away 🤣🤣)

You told me you wouldn't tell anyone

Ffs, how unlucky must she be to have two of us say the exact same thing to her?

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By *hristianGray2005Man
4 weeks ago

Galway Mayo Clare Roscommon

“I’m kind of a big deal”

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
4 weeks ago

Lucan

The worst has to be the accidental slip of the tongue that can happen so innocently but can be quite hard to row back from.

I was having a coffee with the missus the other day when one of those happened. The cream was over on her side of the table and I went to ask her to pass it over but had one of those moments where it comes out all wrong.

Instead of saying "can you pass me the sugar darling?" as I intended to say, I accidently said...

"you fucking bitch, you've ruined my life!".

Oh how we laughed!

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By *ethusonfireCouple
4 weeks ago

Dublin

I have got to get back to my wife in an hour so can we wrap this up quick 🤣🤣

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By *ramerMan
4 weeks ago

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?"

That sounds like you are speaking from a previous personal experience 😊😊

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By *ramerMan
4 weeks ago

"Your making a big big mistake not fucking me....

(Actually happened recently, and everyone knows how telling someone that will change their mind straight away 🤣🤣)"

😂😂😂

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
4 weeks ago

Newry

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?

That sounds like you are speaking from a previous personal experience 😊😊"

Thankfully not!

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By *iscuits8Man
4 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?

That sounds like you are speaking from a previous personal experience 😊😊

Thankfully not!"

Not yet! 😊

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By *rnicaMan
4 weeks ago

Cork, Kerry, Waterford and surrounds

Would you mind trying my ring on for size..?

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By *insBadMan
4 weeks ago

& around

[Removed by poster at 22/04/26 14:19:08]

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By *insBadMan
4 weeks ago

& around

https://youtu.be/E3q4T6JWdHY?is=QYk-Y-c2la3s6fhR

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By *og-Man OP Man
4 weeks ago

somewhere

"https://youtu.be/E3q4T6JWdHY?is=QYk-Y-c2la3s6fhR"

Feck

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By *eedy1Man
4 weeks ago

Larne

YOU WILL HAVE TO DO YOUR TALKING QUICK AS YOUR MOUTH WILL BE FULL SHORTLY

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

No it's not a wedding dress, I just like white 😇

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
4 weeks ago

Newry

Here's a mix tape I made for you

Showing my age here!

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

Can we meet on the other side of town? My ankle monitor beeps when I go that far from home.

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By *easingTimMan
4 weeks ago

Loughlinstown

Booked in the Travelodge across the road. chop chop!

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By *ndrew1972Man
4 weeks ago

roscrea

You much better looking than the last guy I met, oh, you're a woman!

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By *eighswingMan
4 weeks ago

wexford

“I prefer Costa coffee”

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By *he General 2 0 2 5Man
4 weeks ago

Limerick City

Have you ever been to band camp ?

I hear they stick flutes 🪈 up people's asses 🍑 at band camp 🏕 🤣.

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By *iscuits8Man
4 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

Hate to break it to you OP but you may have unintentionally started a Fab auction...

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By *he General 2 0 2 5Man
4 weeks ago

Limerick City

"Hate to break it to you OP but you may have unintentionally started a Fab auction..."

Other thread bro lol 😆 😂 🤣.

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By *iscuits8Man
4 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

Erm... I was depicting a coffee meet with wex couple

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By *ddie321Man
4 weeks ago

Balbriggan

'Oh Miss -------- it's lovely to finally sit by your side,

Seeing you in the flesh, you're much more than a ride,

Your maned tresses are sexy and your eyes they are stunning,

Not forgetting your smile, I'm so happy I'm grinning....

Oh Eddie be silent, forget all of that,

Look under the table where my booty is sat,

Feast on my calves and tongueable thighs 'neath my dress,

Can you see where the 8 incher's hidden, please guess!

I think I can see - is it pulsating your pussy?

I wish I could make it vibrate till your Juicy,

Good news for you Eddie, it's battery operated,

If I give you control can you stroke till I'm sated?

No problem Miss Pussy, please pass the BOB knob,

Slide your loins wider so I can see when you throb,

Oh Eddie this sure is a fun way to meet,

You can stop if you want to, or my honey might seep'

💋

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By *ric_twingeMan
4 weeks ago

Portrush

I’ve written a poem for you, mind if I share it??

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By *asual MattMan
4 weeks ago

Belfast

Politics and stuff like that lol. Keep it neutral and generic.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Jesus You've lovely eyes ,can I touch them.

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By *ady ChatterleyWoman
4 weeks ago

Athlone

I suppose a rides out of the question.

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By *GF1111Man
4 weeks ago

d22

Say what you like

Whats not meant you isn't important

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By *he man from GenevaMan
4 weeks ago

The West

So, what's your body count?

Me hole is still in tatters.

Your titties look smaller in real life.

What age did you say you are? I usually only fuck younger women.

I don't really believe in foreplay - just batter straight in.

Can you sit a bit closer? I don't want everyone knowing I'm having a wank.

WTF is going on with the world these days? I'm on my 4th therapist this year!

Fab is shite! I'm 6'7", hung like a donkey, my ma reckons I'm handsome, I send out 58 messages a day, not including the repeat dick pics, but just because I'm too busy to go to a meet, or any events, I can't even get a poxy reply! Oh woe is me.

Hey, remember me? I offered you good money for your worn knickers, you never replied?

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
4 weeks ago

Lucan

"Enough about you, let's talk about me!"

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By *og-Man OP Man
4 weeks ago

somewhere

Im already wearing a condom

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 weeks ago

Belfast

Do you get a senior discount in here?

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

Are we done here? My next one has just arrived

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 weeks ago

Belfast

"Are we done here? My next one has just arrived "

Someone told me years ago about meeting a woman for coffee round the corner from where he worked and during the day he had to pass that coffee shop 3 or 4 more times when running errands from work.

Every time he passed the window that woman was sitting at the same table meeting with a different guy from he had met her at 10am until shortly after 4pm.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

"Are we done here? My next one has just arrived

Someone told me years ago about meeting a woman for coffee round the corner from where he worked and during the day he had to pass that coffee shop 3 or 4 more times when running errands from work.

Every time he passed the window that woman was sitting at the same table meeting with a different guy from he had met her at 10am until shortly after 4pm."

I'd have to be on decaff 🤣 otherwise who knows what could happen 🤣

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 weeks ago

Belfast

"Are we done here? My next one has just arrived

Someone told me years ago about meeting a woman for coffee round the corner from where he worked and during the day he had to pass that coffee shop 3 or 4 more times when running errands from work.

Every time he passed the window that woman was sitting at the same table meeting with a different guy from he had met her at 10am until shortly after 4pm.

I'd have to be on decaff 🤣 otherwise who knows what could happen 🤣"

Tena pants?

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By *exyScientistsCouple
4 weeks ago

Castlebar

"Are we done here? My next one has just arrived

Someone told me years ago about meeting a woman for coffee round the corner from where he worked and during the day he had to pass that coffee shop 3 or 4 more times when running errands from work.

Every time he passed the window that woman was sitting at the same table meeting with a different guy from he had met her at 10am until shortly after 4pm.

I'd have to be on decaff 🤣 otherwise who knows what could happen 🤣

Tena pants?

Table dancing in my underwear more like...

Ya cheeky fecker

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By *otownkid1967Man
4 weeks ago

Portlaoise

Have ya any sisters?

I took a bluey an hour ago and have a blanket in the back of me transit.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
4 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

"Have ya any sisters?

I took a bluey an hour ago and have a blanket in the back of me transit.

I was told once by a guy he'd drive his van to the coffee meet because he had a mattress in the back.

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By *ric_twingeMan
4 weeks ago

Portrush

"Have ya any sisters?

I took a bluey an hour ago and have a blanket in the back of me transit.

I was told once by a guy he'd drive his van to the coffee meet because he had a mattress in the back."

He might’ve been trying to sell you the mattress

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By *ndrew1972Man
4 weeks ago

roscrea

So do you want to come to my place? My mother is picking us up in 5 minutes.

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By *otownkid1967Man
4 weeks ago

Portlaoise

"Have ya any sisters?

I took a bluey an hour ago and have a blanket in the back of me transit.

I was told once by a guy he'd drive his van to the coffee meet because he had a mattress in the back."

It wasn't Mattressmick by any chance.

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By *he man from GenevaMan
4 weeks ago

The West

"Im already wearing a condom "

That's brilliant!

Sitting in a cafe, laughing like a ejit!

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By *owelsMan
4 weeks ago

sprawling metropolis

You looked better in your photos

I prefer the photos where I couldn't see your face

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By *owelsMan
4 weeks ago

sprawling metropolis

My curfew finishes in 15 minutes

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By *he General 2 0 2 5Man
4 weeks ago

Limerick City

Do I play ▶️ any games ?

Sure , loads

I play hurling , soccer ⚽️ and a bit of golf ⛳️.

Sometimes in a crowded room I'll suggest we turn out the lights ✨️ and play "who's in my mouth"

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By *iscuits8Man
4 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

Would you Revolut me halves for these coffees?

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By *allie99_99Man
4 weeks ago

Loughrea

"Do I play ▶️ any games ?

Sure , loads

I play hurling , soccer ⚽️ and a bit of golf ⛳️.

Sometimes in a crowded room I'll suggest we turn out the lights ✨️ and play "who's in my mouth" "

Reminds me of a party I was at with our soccer team and the wives and girlfriends "interviewed us" with some sexually orientated questions to embarrass us.

They asked one lad "What's your favourite position?"

Quick as a flash he responded "centre forward"

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By *indaCharmingDubMan
4 weeks ago

South Dublin

"Things not to say on your first social coffee with someone

'I brought you a present, I hope you love it'

Puts clone-a-cock dildo on the table

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By *irishladMan
4 weeks ago

North County Dublin

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just spat out my tea when I read that"

I actally know someone that that happened too

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By *udntulovetoknowMan
4 weeks ago

turnrightstraightahead

"I suppose a rides out of the question. "

You're watching " The snapper " too much 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *og-Man OP Man
4 weeks ago

somewhere

"I suppose a rides out of the question.

You're watching " The snapper " too much 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

They cleaned their teeth and all

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By *om365483Man
4 weeks ago

Dungannon/Belfast/Donegal

Nicely shaved armpits, do you have anywhere else that’s as well shaved!

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By *om365483Man
4 weeks ago

Dungannon/Belfast/Donegal

"I've my mickey out under the table, do you wanna feel?"

Something tells me you took a look under the table, pointed and laughed until you wet yourself. Eventually saying I’ve seen bigger cocktail sausages than that. Note to self, should really stop doing that at socials. It’s just too embarrassing!!!

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By *lippy2023Couple
4 weeks ago

Maynooth

Brilliant..still laughing

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By *rSocialNIMan
4 weeks ago

Local

So I booked a hotel for nothing?

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By *ezoMan
4 weeks ago

The Kingdom

"So, do we do it here or get a room first?"

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Snap im choking

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