FabSwingers.com forum: Male perspective on dating

By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

I’m curious, I’m single awhile and dating on/off but nothing serious. Are men not interested in dating ? Are they just wanting a ride ? Do any men want a relationship anymore ? If so, where are you ?!?! Haha

Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?

I’m curious to have the male perspective, thanks x

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By *Js-EmmaCouple
5 weeks ago

dublins fair city

You’re the most natural, gorgeous girl and fun to boot.

Absolutely their loss.

Xxx

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

Ah thanks guys! Miss you lot, hopefully see you soon x

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By *h-to-be-NefertariWoman
5 weeks ago

galway

These are the questions us singletons are dying to know the answer to

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

"These are the questions us singletons are dying to know the answer to

💯 but I wonder will men actually answer truthfully, I hope they do

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By *he KakapoMan
5 weeks ago

A nice rock

No man's answer is going to be the same for another.

So really no matter what answer any of us give you'll still have to suss out the next individual that actually peaks your interest anyway

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By *ebel YellMan
5 weeks ago

Cork

"I’m curious, I’m single awhile and dating on/off but nothing serious. Are men not interested in dating ? Are they just wanting a ride ? Do any men want a relationship anymore ? If so, where are you ?!?! Haha

Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?

I’m curious to have the male perspective, thanks x "

I suppose everyone is different. Some men I am certain want to date and some I am equally certain are just looking for a ride. Some men want a little bit of both.

All you can do is stay true to yourself. Be yourself and be clear with guys what it is you are and aren’t looking for. There is someone for everyone though.

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

I understand that, but I’m just curious of the male perspective

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

Thanks 😊

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By *INTMan
5 weeks ago

Minutes from Somewhere Else

Single for about a year now. Having ended one rather painfully, I'm not currently looking for a long-term relationship.

At present I'm kinda hoping to find someone to attend parties/socials/events with. Be each other's date/company/wingman. If she & I hit it off, great! If not, I'm perfectly happy to remain platonic. While I've absolutely no problem with attending events solo (and have) it's not quite the same as going with someone.

So while I'm certainly not opposed to a ride, it's not the only thing I'm looking for. I do want a relationship. Am somewhat reticent to commit at present, but that'll pass.

I may be a minority.

Not sure if that answers questions but I'm open to follow up questions should there be any.

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it 😊

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By *inkyDragonMan
5 weeks ago

D15 / Meath border

I can only talk about my feelings on dating. I’m fifty one the beginning of this month, I’m separated about ten years and divorced about two, I’ve three teenage / adult children. I don’t want any more children and I got the snip a few years ago. My children live with my ex wife, their mother, they come and stay with me regularly most weeks and I see them at least two or three times a week. I work shift work, I could be in bed at nine o’clock at nine or I could be coming in at nine o’clock and I’ve a rolling pattern. I don’t have time to give a lady in my present circumstances. I’m aiming to retire at sixty, maybe then I’ll have loads of time to see if I want to ‘date’ then but for the present and the next timeframe of two years, I don’t have time to give up to someone and that not me being selfish, it’s me being honest that I don’t want to fuck someone around and they get feelings and I hurt them. I was here before and I met a lady and we left, or so I thought but she kept her profile and was still meeting people behind my back and I couldn’t understand why when she was the one that said let’s both delete our profiles. It hurt me because I put a lot into it but look, you live and learn. Fab suits me to chat and occasionally meet ladies and the odd couple here. That’s me. That’s me being honest. That’s me saying I don’t want to date someone at the moment because I can’t give them the time for a relationship.

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

Thank you being honest

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By *hreehuggerMan
5 weeks ago

galway

Small sample size for this survey. I have two single male friends and myself.

One is a big handsome fecker and can pick up playmates at the drop of a hat and does but would love to settle down but his knob keeps getting him in trouble.

The other would love to be in a relationship but is so burnt by previous experiences that hes afraid to risk being hurt again because he really doesn't know if he would be able to handle the fallout. He really does deserve to meet someone nice. Hope he does.

And I have just accepted that im not great at relationships, and while I like them for a while I eventually get a little bored and then it gets messy. I don't really want to be the cause of that, I like to be friends, im good at that and as long as Im able to meet like minded people then im happy enough to be single. Who knows maybe someday ill meet someone who being with permanently feels right.

I know this isn't a great insight into the minds of men l just my tuppence

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By *ildrover49Man
5 weeks ago

Tubbercurry

I was with a lady who told me she loved me and even spoke of getting engaged as we knew each other quite a while

Out of the blue ,I got blocked and went to her place and she said its over and she has no Intrest in sex anymore and she is not seeing anyone else or anything

I really don't know what to think anymore except I'm heartbroken

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By *hreehuggerMan
5 weeks ago

galway

"I was with a lady who told me she loved me and even spoke of getting engaged as we knew each other quite a while

Out of the blue ,I got blocked and went to her place and she said its over and she has no Intrest in sex anymore and she is not seeing anyone else or anything

I really don't know what to think anymore except I'm heartbroken "

That's awful, hope youre both OK.

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By *ildrover49Man
5 weeks ago

Tubbercurry

I don't know about her but I'm in bits

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
5 weeks ago

sligo

Maybe he's realised he messed up?

Single a while now,work is very unsociable hours so don't get out to socialise much.

Definitely want a ltr,hard to come by nowadays 🤣 i suppose some do and some don't,and some want both.and maybe when some people get to a certain point they think hope is gone and join fab 🤣🤣🤣

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
5 weeks ago

sligo

"No man's answer is going to be the same for another.

So really no matter what answer any of us give you'll still have to suss out the next individual that actually peaks your interest anyway"

Real talk 🤣👏

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By *er50Man
5 weeks ago

athlone

Separated 4 years now and my kids live with me full time. would like to dip my foot back into dating but then I think if I do what will happen with spending time with my kids seeing as the mother left to live with another guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Annoying

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By *uke02Man
5 weeks ago

Waterford City

I'm turning 24 in a week and have never been in a relationship. I've always found if very hard to connect with people because I'm quite socially awkward and introverted. I've only ever had talking stages, some of those were very pleasant chats and we didn't just click and mutually stopped talking. Others though I'm not sure what happened, one second if seemed like we would be chatting like a house on fire and next second I would be unadded and not sure what I said which is quite infuriating as I would like to be told so I could learn from the experience bit it is what it is I guess. Other issues I've had with trying to date is the frightening amount of people that use drugs and it is a massive turn off for me. And then I've had a small few very negative ones where I have been stood up for dates or had comments being made about my weight or just being led on. So I'm at a stage where I'm not bothered anymore

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By *urvygirlstar OP Woman
5 weeks ago

wicklow

Thanks for everyone for sharing, appreciate your honesty x

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I was in a long-term relationship for almost 12 years — we just wanted different things in life, so we went our separate ways. I’ve been on a few dates since and usually get on great with the lady, but when it comes down to it, it often feels like a lot of expectations for constant attention and time. Maybe it’s just me that thinks it.

Running a business means I can’t always reply straight away or be available 24/7, and that tends to become an issue. I think it’s really about finding someone on the same wavelength, who understands what you do and independence. It’s tough, but then that’s what makes the whole thing interesting, isn’t it? The hunt continues, as they say or as Eddie Murphy said find someone as fucked up are yourself and settle down lol

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Also when asked what do you want to eat stop saying I don’t mind, what ever you want or a surprise, I’m easy etc. and when something is wrong say what it is, don’t go silent lol.

Relationships are like a football match, a constant battle between to people until one leaves the pitch lol

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By *unandgames111Couple
5 weeks ago

lucan

Unfortunately i think most men on here think with their dick, don’t read profiles and think we women are desperate,

I find it so strange how they get angry when you say sorry not for me

Good luck with your search

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By *eep explorerMan
5 weeks ago

Dublin/Meath

Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?

I’m curious to have the male perspective, thanks x "

Not to be harsh, he probably messaged today out of the blue because he’s horny and thinks reaching out to old connections is the quickest way to hook up without the effort of meeting someone new, I know a lot of people, men and women who do it.

Everyone is different though, so he could just genuinely miss you or want to give things a try.

Personally, I have a happy and busy life so I’m not looking to add a relationship to it. I do prefer a fwb situation to one offs though and maybe in the future if my schedule isn’t a full and I could give someone proper time I would go for a relationship.

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By *supermanMan
5 weeks ago

letterkenny

Was happily single for a while, then met a lovely woman on this and we hit it off and ended up in a relationship for a few years until she had to move back to wales and I’ve been wanting/hoping a relationship ever since.

I agree everyone is different and depends on a lot of factors. No shoe fits all as they say, but there is one genuine guy here open to a relationship.

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By *uclid25Man
5 weeks ago

portadown

This is just my experience.

I have been single now for 15 years, I have approached face to face a lot of women and have been rejected every time. Sometimes in very rude and very mean ways. I have also been on every dating app you can possibly download and I am still on one or two. I have been rejected on those possibly thousands of times.

I am not a hideous chud, at least I don't think I am. I can be chatty and funny, or so I've been told. But due to the constant rejection my self esteem was utterly demolished.

I joined this site nearly a year now and I have met 2 people, one who was in Belfast for a visit and we just had a coffee and another that is now a good friend, but these were never going to be a relationship. This picked up my self esteem enough to stay here this long and keep messaging people on here. Though at the moment constantly being ignored, rejected and sending messages that women don't even bother reading is very deflating.

I'll keep going and keep trying and I am more than open to having a relationship but I can't see that ever happening for me again because it seems like no woman even wants to go on a date with me for whatever reason. I would be happy enough if I could find one or two women on here who might not want a relationship that I could at least do the FWB thing, but that looks highly unlikely since virtually every message I send goes unopened and unread.

I'm not giving up but I have accepted my fate and I guess I just have to be ok with that. I don't say any of this out of self pity or looking for sympathy.

There are still people out there looking relationships, like me, But some just feel like they aren't good enough and never will be due to constant rejection some of which is done in hateful fashion, from both men and women.

I just thought I'd add my two cents.

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By *hreehuggerMan
5 weeks ago

galway

"This is just my experience.

I am not a hideous chud, at least I don't think I am. I can be chatty and funny, or so I've been told. But due to the constant rejection my self esteem was utterly demolished.

I'm not giving up but I have accepted my fate and I guess I just have to be ok with that. I don't say any of this out of self pity or looking for sympathy.

I just thought I'd add my two cents.

You look pretty normal to me mate. Keep at it.

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By *uclid25Man
5 weeks ago

portadown

"This is just my experience.

...

I just thought I'd add my two cents.

You look pretty normal to me mate. Keep at it. "

Thank you. Appreciate it.

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By *og-ManMan
5 weeks ago

somewhere

Euclid25

Get to a social in Belfast when they start up again

I genuinely believe its the best way to achieve what you're looking for and it'll give you a bit more confidence

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By *uclid25Man
5 weeks ago

portadown

"Euclid25

Get to a social in Belfast when they start up again

I genuinely believe its the best way to achieve what you're looking for and it'll give you a bit more confidence "

Thanks. Yeah I had thought about going to one but I was just a tad wary about being in a room with a bunch of people I had sent messages to that had already ignored or rejected me.

When they start again I'll maybe rethink it.

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By *rodigal funCouple
5 weeks ago

Antrim Down Derry Tyrone Armagh

"Euclid25

Get to a social in Belfast when they start up again

I genuinely believe its the best way to achieve what you're looking for and it'll give you a bit more confidence

Thanks. Yeah I had thought about going to one but I was just a tad wary about being in a room with a bunch of people I had sent messages to that had already ignored or rejected me.

When they start again I'll maybe rethink it."

Euclid25,

It's so much different when you meet people at a group social event. You've that face to face interaction and if you're a newbie to a social most organisers will be there to give you a head start and introduce you to people.

People ignore, reject and block for a variety of reasons, though I understand it's hard not to take it personally.

It happens here for most at some stage.

Definitely give a few socials a go and see how you feel then...all the best.

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By *igIrish69Man
5 weeks ago

letterkenny

Hes a silly boy 😆

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By *uclid25Man
5 weeks ago

portadown

[Removed by poster at 14/04/26 18:40:35]

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By *uclid25Man
5 weeks ago

portadown

Euclid25,

People ignore, reject and block for a variety of reasons, though I understand it's hard not to take it personally.

It happens here for most at some stage.

Definitely give a few socials a go and see how you feel then...all the best.

Always worth a try I guess, I'll give it a shit when they get started up here again. Thanks.

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By *otownkid1967Man
5 weeks ago

Portlaoise

I'm divorced a good few years, getting on in years as well. I do like dating . Recently noticed that more and more ladies want to date , have a good sex life with no commitment. I suppose its a fwb situation for them and myself. By the way the ladies aren't on fab.

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By *un1514Man
5 weeks ago

navan

Personally I am looking to but I’ll be honest that’s only in the last year or so…when you start living on your own it can get boring at times

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By *om TangoMan
5 weeks ago

Tedavnet Co.Monaghan

I’d say I’m undateable. Work long hours and never around during the week plus I’m an ugly cunt. but i would like a lady in my life. I’d love Saturday nights out for a meal or a lazy night in front of the fire with a takeaway.someone to cuddle up to and to annoy the hell out of her with my stupid jokes. Someone to give out about because she didn’t put the dirty cup in the sink😂. Someone to kiss goodbye on a Sunday as I head to work and someone to hug and kiss when I get home Friday night/Saturday morning. Someone that understands when I get home Friday night/Saturday morning I’ve another days work today locally. Of course she would be welcome to come with me Saturday and be my transit van princess

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By *he gentleman 1000Man
5 weeks ago

santry

Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?

I’m curious to have the male perspective, thanks x "
defo want date think women too many options now with apps makes it harder for guys to date or just me anyway lol

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By *ancGent44Man
3 weeks ago

Here and There

As a single guy my view is I’d love to date and find the love of my life, I did think I’d found that actually with my last ex but the whole experience of the break up and betrayal and how she was after it has totally soured and broke me. I’ve never been one for going around and just sleeping with people here and there as always liked being in a relationship and building something together as a couple. But my hearts been broken by this last one I’m not sure I can let myself or my heart do it again, I’ve been on 4 dates in the last few months since just before Christmas with 4 different ladies and spent some time with 2 of them, it’s been nice doing things and spending that time with them but again I just feel numb I guess and it just doesn’t feel right. Probably because of the heart ache, they’ve all been lovely ladies and don’t want to lead them on so just say it’s not for me. Potentially I could turn away something amazing because of the damage done by the last ex and it really annoys me.

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By *ew adventures99Man
3 weeks ago

city

Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?

I’m curious to have the male perspective, thanks x "

As a separated guy, i think most men and woman, take time to process the break up, and reflect on mistakes made and need time to adjust to been single again. Also if there is children some people are cautious about dating. Some men can separate getting 'the ride' from any emotional connection. As for the guy who hurt you and ghosted you, he either got the ride somewhere else for a bit and she did to him what he did to you, he panicked as maybe it was turning into something he wasnt prepared for or he is just a prick who thinks woman are at the edge of their seats waitingfor him to message and be grateful he was to give you 'the ride'. Go with your gut here, if your uneasy dont go there, or if you want a clear answer of what happened before ask him straight out in a face to face coffee/tea meet and if he cant oe wont ,,save yourself the drama and wash your hands of him

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By *r_nice4Man
3 weeks ago

Clare

I think many will likely disagree with me but here is what my take on it is. For the record I think you look great Op and I don't know you and I'm sure you are a good person , anyways now for my grain of sand.

Are men not interested in dating ?

We are but we are also interested in just sex , especially when it comes without effort and easy!!

Are they just wanting a ride ?

If a ride is all you offer a ride is all we want !

Do any men want a relationship anymore ? Yes all men do but also all men want a woman they can bring home to their parents, (figure of speech) we want a woman that is not only not afraid to grow together and acknowledge her short coming so we can improve together. We want peace no drama ! We don't want an opinionated feminazi that think that men are the problem!

So my suggestion is to look at the common denominator (yes that's you) and work on whatever you think your short coming are... You know that could be that you like a certain type of men and reject maybe the ones that might be more compatible with you. You deep down know , I'm sure !

"Also, a man I dated for a few months last year, hurt me and I walked away, never to hear from him again and today he randomly messaged me looking to start chatting again, what’s that about?"

He was horny chancing his arm for easy familiar ride ! No mystery here!!

Op I hope you don't take this in an offensive way and I hope it gives you abit of a clue or inside into the dating and a bit of men view. For at the end of the day we are not complicated. We want peace , we want sex , we want a supportive companion and we will take every bit of sex that comes easy

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By *ookAndDorkCouple
3 weeks ago

The West

There's a lot of 'we' in that post and I gotta say there's not much of me in it.

I'm not looking for an easy ride. I definitely wouldn't ride just because it was on offer.

I think it's better just to speak for yourself. If any holes a goal, enjoy it. Wouldn't be for me though.

As for the whole, men just want a nice clean woman they can introduce to their mother who isn't a 'feminazi' AND will leave their man in peace...

Give me a break. If my eyes rolled any harder I'd be staring at the back of my own head.

Dook

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By *affa31Woman
3 weeks ago

Galway

It’s always the guys who describe themselves as “nice”…oh the irony.

Personally, if all that’s available is fragile little men who can’t handle a woman with an opinion, I’ll be very happily single for the rest of my life.

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By *ookAndDorkCouple
3 weeks ago

The West

Before I met Dork I really enjoyed dating and it's always been my preference over hook ups even after years in the scene and trying a bit of everything.

Dork and I met on a dating app.

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By *aseylee324Couple
3 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

Life is tough for everyone at some stages, and nobody gets an easy ride (no pun intended)

You just got to keep going and put yourself out there and be ready for no.

Great discussion!

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
3 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

And suggesting OP takes a look at herself and her shortcomings?? Seriously??

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By *r_nice4Man
3 weeks ago

Clare

[Removed by poster at 01/05/26 19:11:13]

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By *r_nice4Man
3 weeks ago

Clare

Well you ... I guess people sometimes take ownership of every word like someone is talking about them!

We referred to men in general! Not all men!

You referred to universal you! A person someone out there!

Anyways some of us choose to get offended for nothing

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