FabSwingers.com forum: Bad joke.

By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What do you call it when someone throws confectionery at the panto villain.

A BooCake!

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By *allie99_99Man
22 weeks ago

Loughrea

What is worse than having a sick cat on your piano?

A septic pussy on your organ

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By *ealitybitesMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

Jokes about sugar are very rare but jokes about brown sugar........dem are rarer.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

"Jokes about sugar are very rare but jokes about brown sugar........dem are rarer."

...

Sweet! 🤣😂🤣

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By *otownkid1967Man
22 weeks ago

Portlaoise

"Jokes about sugar are very rare but jokes about brown sugar........dem are rarer."

Aww that's so sweet

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By *elfastblondMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

How much does it cost santa to park his sleigh

Nothing, it's on the house

🎅

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

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By *allie99_99Man
22 weeks ago

Loughrea

Five ants rent an apartment and then another five ants move in.....so now they're tenants

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By *ilverjayMan
22 weeks ago

City

A man goes into the libaray. And says "Can I have some fish n chips please.".

The lady says "This is a libaray ,sir"

"Oh I'm sorry. Can I have some fish n chips?" he whispered

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By *easingTimMan
22 weeks ago

Loughlinstown

What's the best way to make antifreeze?

Take away her blanket

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe.

One has hydraulics and the other has high bollix.

🚜🦒

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What did Mrs Clause say to Santa when he only put the tip in?

Jingle all the way!....

🎅🍆🤶

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?

Because of the tele ban.

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By *ustMe1982Man
22 weeks ago

Here, there and everywhere inbetween

What do Santa and Billy Cosby have in common?

They both only come when you're sleeping...

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By *dfabMan
22 weeks ago

Dunboyne

Got a job in a factory making miniature dracula figures.

It was really busy as there was only me and one other employee.

I had to make every second count

🧛‍♂️

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

Do people on Fab, who post pics of themselves in the shower, have selfie steam issues.

📱🚿

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By *outhDublinMan86Man
22 weeks ago

south dublin

"Do people on Fab, who post pics of themselves in the shower, have selfie steam issues.

📱🚿"

Yes

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

My FWB was sad so I let her colour in my tattoo.

She needed a shoulder to crayon.

🎨🖍

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

I've a bee in my fist but what's in my eye?

Beauty!

Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

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By *amsevenMan
22 weeks ago

cork

What's green and if it fell out of a tree on you it could kill you.

A snooker table

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By *upersonic SamMan
22 weeks ago

wigan

Just seen a woman crying at Tesco till as she had lost the £200 she had saved for the Xmas feast. I gave her £50 from some cash i found on the way in and now we are going on a date, definitely getting a BJ on that one.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

"Just seen a woman crying at Tesco till as she had lost the £200 she had saved for the Xmas feast. I gave her £50 from some cash i found on the way in and now we are going on a date, definitely getting a BJ on that one.

.....

Dark 🌚, very dark 🌑!

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By *mmortalbMan
22 weeks ago

kildare

What do you call a scary bee?

A boobee

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By *mmortalbMan
22 weeks ago

kildare

Why did the blond lock her car door during sex?

Her mother told her to have safe sex

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

"Why did the blond lock her car door during sex?

Her mother told her to have safe sex "

....

I assume she also kept her seat belt on........ for extra protection.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I went to the zoo recently, and the only animal they had was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

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By *onnagiveitagoMan
22 weeks ago

nowhereland

2 nuns get cut up in a car sister Mary says" Theresa show him your cross" sister Theresa shouts "you do that again and I'll knock her ballix in" 😁

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By *acyBoyMan
22 weeks ago

Dublin 6

This website.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between Christmas lights and a hard on.

I can sleep with the Christmas lights on!

🎄🍆

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By *og-ManMan
22 weeks ago

somewhere

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner!”

She rubbed baby oil all over him, dusted him with talcum powder, and said,

“Don’t move until I tell you. Pretend you’re a statue.”

Her husband walked in and asked, “What’s this?”

“Oh, it’s a statue,” she replied. “The Smiths bought one, and I liked it… so I got one for us, too.”

No more was said — not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM, the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

He handed them to the “statue” and said:

“Here, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!” 😑😂

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What do a train set and boobs have in common?

They were both made for kids but dads can’t help playing with them.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?

A Christmas tree will stay up for weeks, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

🎄

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By *assionate InfernoCouple
22 weeks ago

Dublin

What did the shovel say to the backhoe?

We make a great digging team!

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By *easingTimMan
22 weeks ago

Loughlinstown

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Stick your hand down it's pockets and tickle it's balls!

(...the same hack works on me

)

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

Why are push-up bras like bags of crisps?

When you open them, you realize they’re half empty.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Any couples or girls available in Tipperary tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Any couples or girls available in Tipperary tonight "

Not with a joke like that!

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"What’s the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?

A Christmas tree will stay up for weeks, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

🎄"

Bravo good sir. I approve of your whimsical whimsy. 😂

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

How do you stick blocks of ice together to make a house.

With igloo!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
22 weeks ago

North Cork

BUMP!

Like a badger on a by-pass.

🦡🚘

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because it was taking the piss out of the underpants.

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By *mmortalbMan
22 weeks ago

kildare

"Why did the blond lock her car door during sex?

Her mother told her to have safe sex

....

I assume she also kept her seat belt on........ for extra protection.

Hahaha. I also messed that one up. It was what's a blonds idea of safe sex, locking the car door

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By *mmortalbMan
22 weeks ago

kildare

What's better than a 69? 88.

Because she gets ate twice.

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By *dfabMan
22 weeks ago

Dunboyne

"A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner!”

She rubbed baby oil all over him, dusted him with talcum powder, and said,

“Don’t move until I tell you. Pretend you’re a statue.”

Her husband walked in and asked, “What’s this?”

“Oh, it’s a statue,” she replied. “The Smiths bought one, and I liked it… so I got one for us, too.”

No more was said — not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM, the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

He handed them to the “statue” and said:

“Here, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!” 😑😂"

Brilliant 🤣🤣

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By *onnagiveitagoMan
21 weeks ago

nowhereland

If magic becomes magical

And ice becomes icicles

What does tests become?

🤣🤣

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

Why does Rudolph have a red nose?

Because he keeps sticking it in Mrs Clause's holly bush.

🦌🤶🍒🌳

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By *ewcorkcpl23Couple
21 weeks ago

Cork

Why did the chicken cross the road to the playground?

To see the other slide.

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By *hynot xCouple
21 weeks ago

Woop Woop

"If magic becomes magical

And ice becomes icicles

What does tests become?

🤣🤣"

Also...

You get fish in a fishery,

You get cats in a cattery,

What about bugs?

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By *indenMan
21 weeks ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

Jesus walks into a bar: "Just 12 waters please!" *winks at disciples*

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By *ookAndDorkCouple
21 weeks ago

The West

"If magic becomes magical

And ice becomes icicles

What does tests become?

🤣🤣

Also...

You get fish in a fishery,

You get cats in a cattery,

What about bugs?"

Not to mention if your after digging a skull...

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Why are men more intelligent during sex?

Because they're plugged into a feckin' know it all.

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By *iktikiCouple
21 weeks ago

city centre

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side of course 🫣

You asked for bad, you got it

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By *oserMan
21 weeks ago

where the wild roses grow

What's the difference between a duck?

One of its legs are both the same.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

"If magic becomes magical

And ice becomes icicles

What does tests become?

🤣🤣

Also...

You get fish in a fishery,

You get cats in a cattery,

What about bugs?

Not to mention if your after digging a skull..."

.....

Subtle.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

What do you call a French father who is a military mariner.

Philippe navy da!

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By *onnagiveitagoMan
21 weeks ago

nowhereland

"If magic becomes magical

And ice becomes icicles

What does tests become?

🤣🤣

Also...

You get fish in a fishery,

You get cats in a cattery,

What about bugs?"
oh buggery lmfao

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By *ornedgoat669Man
21 weeks ago

somewhere

Here about the cow in monhgan? It was near cavan/calfing lol

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By *he Naked TradesmanMan
21 weeks ago

allover

What do you call a ill number ?

SICK/SEVEN

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Why should stairs never be trusted.... They're always up to something

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By *hristianGray2005Man
21 weeks ago

Galway Mayo Clare Roscommon

A friend of mine was always running late, so one day he asked his GP about it.

His GP recommended sleeping in a herb garden.

Now he’s always on thyme.

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By *OTSOSUBTLEMan
21 weeks ago

DUBLIN

What kind of music do fishermen like?

Anything so long as it's catchy!

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By *onedbodMan
21 weeks ago

co Galway

What's Forrest Gumps email password?

1Forrest1

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

When a guy swapped their bed for a trampoline, his wife nearly hit the ceiling!

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

"Five ants rent an apartment and then another five ants move in.....so now they're tenants"

😂😂

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By *parkling-discoCouple
21 weeks ago

Downpatrick

Does anyone else think circles are pointless?

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

Velcro......what a rip-off!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

Im not sure about the future of exit signs. I think they could be on the way out!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

I decided to sell my old vacuum cleaner.

It was only collecting dust!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
21 weeks ago

North Cork

Conjunctivitis.com.......

A site for sore eyes!

👀

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

Man goes into doctor's office and says, 'Doctor! I have five penises!' Doctor says, 'My God, how do your pants fit?' Man says, 'Like a glove!'"

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By *hunkyRedPandaMan
20 weeks ago

Germany

"Man goes into doctor's office and says, 'Doctor! I have five penises!' Doctor says, 'My God, how do your pants fit?' Man says, 'Like a glove!'""

God dammit, can anyone stop him

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By *rystalsswingCouple
20 weeks ago

Galway /West / Dublin

Some of these are brilliant 👏

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By *amsupCouple
20 weeks ago

Dublin

Why does Mr Tayto have a phone

Incase Johnny onion rings

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By *allie99_99Man
20 weeks ago

Loughrea

Boy: Mammy I saw you and Daddy making babies last night. Neither of you had clothes on and you were sitting on top of him bouncing up and down.

Mammy: Ah you know the way your Daddy has a tummy, every night I sit on his belly and bounce up and down to flatten it.

Boy (after thinking): you're wasting your time - every Tues evening when you're at Granny's, Mrs Jones from next door comes and blows it back up again.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

A husband and wife are driving home and hit a badger. They get out to find its still breathing but freezing cold.

The husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up".

The wife replies "But its all wet and it stinks!" Husband says "Well just hold its nose!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between a Volvo and a vulva.

You can carry a family in one and start a family in the other.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What site does Dracula use to show off his talents?

Onlyfangs!

🦷👹🦷

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By *ittleJohn5Man
20 weeks ago

Wickham Market

What’s green,wet and smell like pork

Kermit fingers

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between a tractor and Fab? 🚜

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By *otownkid1967Man
20 weeks ago

Portlaoise

"What's the difference between a tractor and Fab? 🚜"

At least ya get to ride a tractor

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

If a couple have sex in a forest could that be called a treesome!

🌳🍆🌳

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By *allie99_99Man
20 weeks ago

Loughrea

"If a couple have sex in a forest could that be called a treesome!

🌳🍆🌳"

You're branching out with that joke

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By *indenMan
20 weeks ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

I was in the gym the other day and noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to stick my finger in.

Long story short, I did, she made a complaint and now I’m banned from the gym….

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By *ublustMan
20 weeks ago

Dublin

Blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre

So the bartender gives her one

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

Why are some people on Fab always contacting Dyno-Rod?

Because they keep getting blocked.....

(Couldn't let the year close without dropping a "B" bomb).

💣

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By *hunkyRedPandaMan
20 weeks ago

Germany

I recently purchased a nice toilet brush.

Long story short, I am switching back to toilet paper.

I blame badger.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

"I recently purchased a nice toilet brush.

Long story short, I am switching back to toilet paper.

I blame badger. "

.....

What did the toilet bowel say to the cistern.....

You've got me all flushed!

🥵🚽🪠

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Does anyone else think circles are pointless?"

Maybe, but blunt pencils certainly are.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

How do Cork people ring in the New Year?

They sing Auld Langer Syne!

Funny New Year everyone. 🎊🎉🥳

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By *og-ManMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere

A young man was d*unk and staggering about with a key in his hand.

A guard walked up and said,"What's going on here?"

"They stole my car!", answered the d*unk.

"Where did you last see it?", asked the guard.

"On the end of this key!", the man replied.

The guard looks him over and said, "Sir, are you aware that your penis is hanging out of your trousers?"

"Holy shit!", the d*unk cried. "They got my girlfriend too!"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What is the best lubricant for mmmf meets?

3 in 1 oil

💦

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By *hristianGray2005Man
20 weeks ago

Galway Mayo Clare Roscommon

A guy was coming home one night after finishing work. He was attacked by a clarinet, a violin, a trumpet, a cello and a piano.

The guards are investigating what was probably an orchestrated attack.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

How do you know a baker is from Waterford?

He keeps going blaa blaa blaa!

🥖🥖🥖

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By *exyScientistsCouple
20 weeks ago

Castlebar

These are genius 👏 🙌 👌

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What sweets do scientists like.

Experi mints 🍬🍬

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By *iscuits8Man
20 weeks ago

Dublin / Meath / Birmingham

Why did people take anti-depressants on New Year's Eve?

For their auld ang-xiety

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

"Why did people take anti-depressants on New Year's Eve?

For their auld ang-xiety

....

👏🤣

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By *yesgreenMan
20 weeks ago

north and south

"Why did people take anti-depressants on New Year's Eve?

For their auld ang-xiety

....

👏🤣"
Wd40? Now that’s a party lol

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By *exyScientistsCouple
20 weeks ago

Castlebar

"What sweets do scientists like.

Experi mints 🍬🍬"

We really do 😋

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By *s LollyWoman
20 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

What's the difference between darts and farts?

Early release on one can turn to 💩🙈

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between Napoleon and a bad blow job.

One is Bonaparte and the other is part blown.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
20 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between a charity shop and a mfm.

One is VdP and the other DVP!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

What do you call two lesbians in bed together?

Two cunts acting the bollocks.

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By *rishBusinezzMan
19 weeks ago

glasnevin

I found my old school uniform last week, I was shocked, I must not have grown in years... my belt still fits around my neck! 😂😂

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

I used to date twins that looked very alike.

The only way I could tell them apart was Laura had long hair and Sam had a cock.

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By * like dickMan
19 weeks ago

bray

Knock knock

Who's there

I'm gay woo

I'm gay woo who

Haha your gay

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By * like dickMan
19 weeks ago

bray

"If a couple have sex in a forest could that be called a treesome!

🌳🍆🌳

You're branching out with that joke"

Awh lads , make like a tree and leave

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

You really have to hand it to blind swingers

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a her-before!

🥗

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By *rRiosMan
19 weeks ago

dublin

"You really have to hand it to blind swingers "

A woman was having a shower when the door-bell rang. "It's the blind man" he called.That's ok, she thought so she quickly ran downstairs naked to open the door.

"Nice tits" he said. "Now, where do you want those blinds?"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

A London publican has been accused of selling out of date Irish Cream Liqueur.

His trial is at the Old Bailey's.

🥃

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

A badger and a rabbit are in the woods...

The badger says to the rabbit, "you know when you have a shit, do you have the problem with it sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says"no, why?"

So the badger picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse!

🦡🐇

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

A lady skids on the ice and crashes her car. She has a bump on her head so the paramedic suspects concussion. He holds up his hand and says " how many fingers do I have up"?

"Oh my God" she exclaims. I'm paralysed from the waist down!

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By *og-ManMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere

Fred had been suffering from terrible headaches for over twenty years.

Finally, he went to see a specialist. After a long examination, the doctor said:

“Fred, the good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is… it will require castration.

You have a rare condition where your testicles press against your spine, causing the pain. Removing them is the only way to relieve the pressure.”

Fred was stunned and devastated. But after decades of constant pain, he reluctantly agreed to the surgery.

When he left the hospital, he felt strange and incomplete—but for the first time in twenty years, he had no headache.

As he walked down the street, he decided this was a turning point. A fresh start.

Maybe even a new wardrobe.

He passed a men’s clothing store and thought, Why not?

Inside, he told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.”

The elderly tailor looked him up and down and said, “You’re a size 44 long.”

Fred laughed. “That’s right! How did you know?”

“Been in the business sixty years,” the tailor replied.

Fred tried on the suit—it fit perfectly.

“How about a shirt?” the tailor asked, studying him again.

“34 sleeve, 16½ neck.”

“That’s amazing,” Fred said. “Exactly right.”

“Sixty years,” the tailor said again.

Feeling great, Fred walked around the store in his new clothes. Then the tailor asked,

“How about some new underwear?”

“Sure,” Fred said.

The tailor looked him over and said, “Size L.”

Fred laughed loudly. “Ah, got you there! I’ve worn size M since I was eighteen.”

The tailor shook his head.

“No, you can’t wear size M. Size M would press your testicles right up against the base of your spine…”

“…and give you one terrible headache.”

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

I was invited to the Premature Ejaculation Society’s Dinner.

I asked about the dress code and was told to just come in my pants.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

I was dating a girl who worked on reception at the zoo.

But I broke it off.

She wasn't a keeper!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

I got knocked down by a rental car while crossing the road.

It really Hertz!

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
19 weeks ago

cavan town

3 nuns were sitting on a park bench when a guy came over and exposed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke and died, the second nun also had a stroke and died. The third nun couldn't reach

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
19 weeks ago

cavan town

I went into the library and asked the librarian if there were any books on paranoia. She whispered

"They're behind you"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

My FWB started using lube as a body wash. Now it can be hard to get hold of her!

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By *ustme34Man
19 weeks ago

bradford16

Whats the Female equivelant of tea bagging... a flapachino

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

A woman walks into a doctor's office complaining of acute angina.

The doctor says "your tits aren't bad either"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

When I discovered you can donate sperm by post, I came in a jiffy!

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By *ayoman93Man
19 weeks ago

Mayo/Kildare

I call my penis Ireland because it's Dublin 😃

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

A plane crashed into my neighbours house.

They had left the landing light on!

💡🛬

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

What is the most expensive confectionery?

Maderia cake! 🍰

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By *hristianGray2005Man
19 weeks ago

Galway Mayo Clare Roscommon

My neighbours telescope was recently misplaced. It was eventually recovered and handed into the police station.

The guards are looking into it.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
19 weeks ago

North Cork

I wasn’t feeling great before I took up coin collecting as a hobby.

But the change has done me good.

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By *og-ManMan
18 weeks ago

somewhere

Took my son out for his first Pint today...

I got him a Heineken; he didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Budweiser, but he didn't like that either. I drank it.

It was the same with the Guinness and the Cider.

By the time we got down to the Whisky,

I could hardly push his bloody pram.

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By *he Naked TradesmanMan
18 weeks ago

allover

Local Garda station was broken into last night all the sanitary ware was taken ..... Gaurds have still nothing to go on

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By *nlyme10Man
18 weeks ago

Wicklow/Dublin

Two aerials got married. The ceremony was boring but the reception was great!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

North Cork

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

Men always miss them.

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By *arkbiMan
18 weeks ago

West cork area

My friend gav died

Gavisgon

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

North Cork

What is the difference between a pregnant lady and a light bulb.

You can unscrew a light bulb

🤰💡

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By *he Naked TradesmanMan
18 weeks ago

allover

2 snowman standing in a field first one says "can you smell carrots" second snowman says " no but I can see coal"

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By *rnicaMan
18 weeks ago

Cork, Kerry, Waterford and surrounds

What's the difference between an egg an a wank...?

You can beat an egg...

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By *ereus3Couple
18 weeks ago

Dundalk

"What's the difference between an egg an a wank...?

You can beat an egg...

"
lmfao

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By *elfastblondMan
18 weeks ago

Belfast

"A woman walks into a doctor's office complaining of acute angina.

The doctor says "your tits aren't bad either""

And the young woman saw the doctor, he said "big breaths" she said, "I know and I'm only sithteen"

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By *rade69Man
18 weeks ago

dublin

Why did the cock-eyed teacher get the sack !?? Cos he couldn’t keep control of his pupils

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

North Cork

Number 140..........

Met an older woman at a club one night.

She looked good for a 61 year-old and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snog, then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double..?

'What's that..?' I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said, 'No'

When we went back to her place, she put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake"..?

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By *OTSOSUBTLEMan
18 weeks ago

DUBLIN

My dog has got no nose. How does he smell? Terrible!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
17 weeks ago

North Cork

What do you get when you put a chicken in a concrete mixer?

A block layer!

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

What's the difference between an egg and a wank... you can beat an egg but you can't beat a wank lol

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

"Number 140..........

Met an older woman at a club one night.

She looked good for a 61 year-old and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snog, then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double..?

'What's that..?' I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said, 'No'

When we went back to her place, she put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake"..?"

😅😂😂😂😂

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By *ark_Chocolate91Man
17 weeks ago

galway

Never tell secrets to clock,

Cause time will tell!

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By *OTSOSUBTLEMan
17 weeks ago

DUBLIN

What music do fishermen like?

Anything so long as it's catchy!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
17 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between a cuckoo and a cuck.

One is a clock and the other watches.

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By *ndrew1972Man
17 weeks ago

roscrea

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Velcro is a rip off

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By *rRiosMan
17 weeks ago

dublin

"What's the difference between a cuckoo and a cuck.

One is a clock and the other watches."

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches watches…

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By *adger Broc OP Man
17 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between magic beans and lesbians.

Lesbians don't grow stalks.

🫘

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By *ndrew1972Man
17 weeks ago

roscrea

Two ducks were walking through Belfast & one said "quack quack"

The other one replied "shut up, I'm goin as quack as I can"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
17 weeks ago

North Cork

How did the Belfast magician make his car dissappear?

He waved his wand out the open wandy!

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a bag of dead babies?

I Haven't got a Lamborghini in my garage...

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By *idemesidewaysCouple
17 weeks ago

Carrick-On-Shannon

A couple were on their honeymoon and were checking in at the reception desk in their hotel.

The receptionist says "Oh congratulations, I see you just got married. Would you like the bridal?"

The husband replies "Oh no thanks, I'll just grab her by the ears"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
17 weeks ago

North Cork

What's the difference between eggs and most people on Fab?

Eggs get laid! 🥚

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By *hynot xCouple
17 weeks ago

Woop Woop

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot 🥕

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By *og-ManMan
16 weeks ago

somewhere

After 10 years in the monastery the head monk summons him and says, ‘You’ve been with us for 10 years. What two words would you like to say?'

The monk replies ‘I’m hungry’, so the head monk organises for an extra ration be given to him each day.

After 20 years, the head monk calls him in again and asks ‘What two words would you like to say?’

The monk replies with ‘Too cold’, so the head monk organises for him to get another blanket.

After 30 years, the head monk calls him in and says ‘What two words would you like to say’.

The monk replies with ‘Wanna leave’.

The head monk says, ‘I’m not surprised.

You’ve done nothing but complain since you’ve been here’.

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By *ndrew1972Man
16 weeks ago

roscrea

Two chimpanzees climbed into a bath & the first one said "ooo ooo ooo ah ah" & the second one said "well put some cold water in"

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Why can't you use beefstew as a password?

Its not stroganoff! ❌️ 🥘

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

What is the difference between a breakfast cereal and a budgie run over by a lawnmower?

One is shredded wheat and the other is shredded tweet!

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Five bus drivers were taking part in a bukkake. Nothing happened for a long time.

Then they all.......🚍🚍🚍🚍🚍💦

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Who is the most popular guy at a play event?

The guy who can carry 6 doughnuts without using his hands.

Who's the most popular woman?

The one who can get to the last one without using hers.

🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩

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By *arbles00Man
16 weeks ago

Athlone, Mullingar,Longford

2 dyslexics walk into a bra

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Why did the spider go to school?

To be a web designer

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By *..V...Man
16 weeks ago

traveling for work

"What do a train set and boobs have in common?

They were both made for kids but dads can’t help playing with them."
😂 that is true

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By *..V...Man
16 weeks ago

traveling for work

[Removed by poster at 30/01/26 21:33:36]

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By *..V...Man
16 weeks ago

traveling for work

Why are you giving your Jacket to a strange woman

who wants BJ with chattering teeth

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

I tried to warn my friend about playing Russian roulette.

It went in one ear and out the other."

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

There are a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

A man walks into a bar with a street sign under his arm and says "a pint please, and one for the road".

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Ambidextrous people.....you've just got to hand it to them.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Why don’t snakes get stiff?

They have a reptile dysfunction.

🐍

(One more to close the thread)

Make it a good one.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
16 weeks ago

North Cork

Why couldn't the needle tell its prick joke?

Because the thread was closed!

🪡🤣😂🤣

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