FabSwingers.com forum: Funny / awkward stories from here?

By *arbie169 OP Man
4 weeks ago

Navan /Kells

Hi all..

Can be the only one who has some stories to tell so I figured id share one or two..

I was dating a woman for a while last year who in fairness enjoyed the kinkier side of life which was great..

She loved vicks though just for the smell of it (nothing sexual about it she just liked the smell)

Anyway, I'm a big fan of massages, I love to give and receive and even did a course many years ago.

Anyway, she's never had a massage before and instead of oil she asked that I use vicks.... HEAD......TO.....TOEEEEE!!

My eyes were bad enough with the vicks but when the time came to go mouth to south I stupidly lifted the covers and dove under eagerly as one does..

This was a mistake...

As I reached the part of her anatomy where I would usually spend as much time as needed to get the job done I got flash backs fo desert storm and I could have sworn I heard Sadam Hussain making his speech about gassing the turds..

My eyes burned as if I had been pepper sprayed and my nose ran like a tap..

We both broke our bollox laughing and came to the conclusion that Vicks is absolutely NOT for massages...

It's three months down the line now and I still feel as though my lungs and airway have been stripped and refreshed a few times over..

😂

By *P_80Man
4 weeks ago

Waterford

I was on my way to a meet a few years back and was in picking up some johnnies.

A woman, considerably older than me, was serving me. She had that 'sweet old woman/grandmother' vibe about her.

There was tension in the air and neither of us said a word.

She dropped the box of johnnies on the floor and I just blurted out "Don't break them on me."

She took a fit of laughing and all the tension was gone.

She told me to enjoy myself as she handed me my change.

By *roMaximumEuphoriaMan
4 weeks ago

Cork

The condom story reminded me of a time I was behind a guy in a long queue in the supermarket. He obviously meant a “small pack of condoms,” like a three-pack. But he asked the girl behind the counter for a pack of small condoms.

He looked so mortified i just wanted to give him a hug and tell him we all knew what he meant haha