FabSwingers.com forum: Fab and mental health...

By (user no longer on site) OP
7 weeks ago

Has anyone found fab is a bit addictive and maybe not as good for you as you think...I personally have started to feel really old...there's some great profiles ...and I think as a male you will just get a reply....I'm sticking with fab as my main source of dating for the time being....but jeez it would drive ya mad

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By *aybeLadyWoman
7 weeks ago

West Dublin

I dont think its all that healthy & you have to be in the right place mentally to be on it.

There are soooooo many reasons why you shouldnt be on here if you are not ready to be. I was talking about this with a fabber at a social this week.

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By *og-ManMan
7 weeks ago

somewhere

Ive never used dating apps but do they all make you feel old and not good for your mental health or is it just this one

The way I look at it is that there's always going to be someone younger, fitter, better looking , better body than me so no point in letting that get to me

There's also going to be men worse than me so that's my cheerful thought for the day

Hopefully you find your tribe OP

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By *razyNippleLoverMan
7 weeks ago

Back End of Beyond

Ive discussed this many times,

And I certainly have a love hate relationship with this place.

Love the craic, the banther and sex .

Hate the addictive nature of the scrolling / the messages etc .

Regularly take self imposed breaks , couple of days , sometimes weeks , then I come back refreshed. And horned up again LOL

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
7 weeks ago

Belfast and Tyrone

To be honest there's many a time I feel like I don't fit in, as a plus size girl I see profiles of people younger, thinner and hotter than me and I feel like nobody would be interested. We get the odd message from thin or gym body couples and I automatically think they are actually doing it for a dare or they think they are being funny.

I'm in a chat group where the demographic is younger than me by about 10 years, and the ones that think they are fat argave a BMI under 25.

Then there's all the socials we don't go to for whatever reason - like distance or clashes and then I get Fomo. It seems everyone else his having regular fun, I know that's an impression that's not necessarily true.

I think you just need to give yourself a break now and again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
7 weeks ago

100 percent I agree...my lifestyle Doesn't let me plan very far ahead....I suppose the conventional ways of meeting people are gone especially for some one like me and that's solely down to my own life..

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By *affa31Woman
7 weeks ago

Galway

Fab is the only hook up site that doesn’t make me feel old or the only fat one in the village 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it’s having an affect on your mental health, take a break. It’s not easy for single guys on here in particular, with the level of rejection they face.

Unless you’re a total twat, the rejection is not a reflection on you at all. It’s purely a numbers game.

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By *evilinsidemeMan
7 weeks ago

Trim

I found the parties and events really helped my mental health, it was fun to socialise with such open minded people and not feel so much like a outsider to normal life.

Does get to much of my time sometimes on the phone... But what app or stuff online doesn't.

Way better than the shit posted on most social media everyday.

Wish I would have made more friends for outside Fab, but life gets in way sometimes.

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By *ealitybitesMan
7 weeks ago

Belfast

I've never really been addicted to the site but I can understand how some can get caught up in the whole thing and that isn't good for anyone's mental health regardless of age or gender.

I don't remember a time when I spent more than an hour a day on here and in the last couple of years it's less than half an hour but I have often wondered how productive some people are away from the site because they seem to spend so much time posting in the forums.

I've never seen it as a competition so I don't worry about how much younger, fitter or better looking other men are and that has stood me in good stead over the last 9 years.

The only times I've walked away from the site have been down to getting dragged into other people's drama and it was easier just to delete and start again at some stage.

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By *ozzlesMan
7 weeks ago

galway

Interesting Topic, I think it very much depends on where you are in your life. My experience has been very positive if fairly unsuccessful 🤣. I'm fortunate that I'm bulletproof from a self confidence perspective (without obvious reason 🤔) so rejection doesn't cause me an issue and I treat every interaction as if I don't have anonymity.

The risk is that you will experience negativity and that your ego will not be able to handle it or that your expectations are not aligned with the reality that you won't be right for the majority of people, especially if you are older, uglier, fatter, hairier, balder, shorter etc. than your perception of the norm.

Play nice with everyone and enjoy chatting to others who don't meet societal norms and if you feel it's having a negative effect on you then either take a break or leave altogether.

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By *ofusplusCouple
7 weeks ago

Limerick

We hit our 'Fab' peak about two years ago after three years on here. For those three years, we were addicted and attending as many events as possible.

Since then, our interest has waned, group sex has become 'meh' (strange, I know

), we just can't be bothered seeking it out.

Still enjoying the socials, love to meet new and existing friends and having the odd bit of fun, but the thrill is not as it used to be.

Taking time out to focus on real life (family, friends, hobbies, career) is always a good idea. Mrs

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By *ub with a ChubbMan
7 weeks ago

Southwest & Cork City

"Fab is the only hook up site that doesn’t make me feel old or the only fat one in the village 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it’s having an affect on your mental health, take a break. It’s not easy for single guys on here in particular, with the level of rejection they face.

Unless you’re a total twat, the rejection is not a reflection on you at all. It’s purely a numbers game. "

💯 In agreement, the rejection aspect is the worst.

I have reached out to a select number on here and in the majority of cases,messages aren't even read;which I get considering the amount of correspondence women have to suffer through.

You try to keep a positive frame of mind, but it is hard.

Breaks from the app help, but inevitably it's highly likely I will wave the white flag and fade into the abyss, only to return again at a later date to recycle again.

Think the not being able to get verified is a major factor.

Have tried going to munches but the introvert in me always restricted me.

Oh well... I love in hope.

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By *eckycd41TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Navan

It's a stess relief dip in and out when it suits

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By *OTSOSUBTLEMan
6 weeks ago

DUBLIN

It's best not to take it too seriously and have high expectations. You'll be disappointed. It is an avenue to explore the possibility of meeting a suitable partner in crime for the antics you like. I have no expectations of the place. I have made one excellent connection, and that was two years ago. We chat and text regularly and meet up every so often, but that is the only positive thing after five years on the site.

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By *P_80Man
6 weeks ago

Waterford

Nah. I'm only on here on the off chance that fate might put me in the path of someone, or a few, that I'm compatible with. I don't have any expectations so I can't be let down.

I've no interest in sex just for the sake of sex so I'm not bothered if it ain't happening.

If I'm not for the majority on here, then so be it.

It makes it all that bit more special on the rare occasions when I do click with someone.

My advice to anyone feeling low, is to not take it all too seriously.

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By *astelloWoman
6 weeks ago

Far far away

Very interesting topic..l feel fab can definitely be detrimental to your mental health, especially if you have low self-esteem to begin with..

Learning to 'self love' is probably the starting point..you cannot rely on endorsement or self fulfilment from transient nature of fab world.

I agree with my fellow posters above, engage in socials, try some coffee meets and using the old adage "what's for you, won't go by you".

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By *s LollyWoman
6 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Ive a Love/Hate relationship with fab, it can be sole destroying some day's and other day's a good old pick me up, i take a few days, weeks or even months away from here when i feel it's affecting me especially my mental wellbeing, bit of a recharge and dip back in for another while, i tend to only give myself a few days on here and take a few day's off here every week, so far so good.....for now.....😁

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By *adger BrocMan
6 weeks ago

Co. Cork

Exciting, addictive, negative, positive, satisfying, frustrating, boring......

Some or all of the above.

Being on a website can have a negative effect on your mental wellbeing but it is mearly an effect not the root cause. It may help to reduce your time on the Internet but ultimately you will need to solve the problem at its source.

Your health is your wealth and that very much includes your mental wellbeing. Take good care of yourself and then you can enjoy the Internet for what it is....an accessory to life, not life itself.

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By *lternative lifestyleCouple
6 weeks ago

Louth

It's like anything, Balance is key, overload anything and you break it. We share the fab workload, in saying that we are stepping back a bit now for the summer and only meet our existing playmates. You only need a few reliable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
6 weeks ago

Also I think this talk of snap chat and kik makes me feel old...I'm more Into a quick phone call chat...great response by people so thanks for your input

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
2 days ago

near Putney Heath

"Has anyone found fab is a bit addictive and maybe not as good for you as you think...I personally have started to feel really old...there's some great profiles ...and I think as a male you will just get a reply....I'm sticking with fab as my main source of dating for the time being....but jeez it would drive ya mad "

I don't use Fab to date. I use Fab to swing and attend swingers clubs.

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By *eroLondonMan
2 days ago

Mayfair

I find that Fab serves its purpose and my experiences have been p+sitive. I'm not a swinger. I use it for casual dating, the woo'ing, the flirting, the courtships, the dalliances and the sexual trysts.

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By *ettaManMan
2 days ago

Based in Kerry, work in Cork.

It's easier said than done, but try to not let your sense of self worth be dependent on validation from anyone on here or other apps (or in general, for that matter).

Fab was a bit of an eye opener for me, in that regard. It helped make me aware of how much I was externalising my self esteem, when it came to sex/dating.

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