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"I wish people would stop going on about the clique at events. Is it so fecking wrong to chat with a group of friends you know that you only meet at fab events. We have never been to an event where we chatted or sat down with people where we were ignored or made feel unwelcome. I am sorry guys but it's not play school where the teacher holds your hand and tells everyone you are new and to be nice and be your new best friend. You cant sit in the corner and expect people to come to you. My advice is, if you are unsure stand at the bar chat to people as they come up say hi I/we are new do you mind if we join you guys. 99.9% of people will say yes come on I will introduce you . You have to make the first move. I know its not always easy but it is always worth the effort. " I agree with most of what you said but there is a clique element to be found at the regular events. | |||
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"I’ve seen a clique live in action and it very much does exist. It’s like American high school drama with the “cool people table” or whatever. And I’ve seen people being ignored or their input dismissed. Unsurprisingly there are knobheads in all walks of life! ![]() ![]() ![]() A good example of a clique Ive seen is at a party a bunch of youngish broccoli haired guys with orange girlfriends with eyelashes so heavy they'd nearly topple forwards. Very much a vibe of "don't talk to us' and that was fine! I'm chunky and over 50. I wouldn't want to play with them either. They do no harm. They are clearly all mates, I leave them alone and they are having fun. A clique that involves leadership or organisers is worse. A toxic power exchange with egos and ladder climbers saying yes yes yes, and then sometimes closing ranks against perceived criticism or around obvious predators. This is a bad clique. Generally though, most people just chin wag with people they meet, or already know, and it might look like a clique but it's not. If you hover nearby you might get drawn in. If you say 'nice shoes' etc you may get a friendly smile. I love the idea above about hovering at the bar and saying I'm new, can I join? Most people will want to help out a newbie. Just takes a big deep breath and some bravery. Says me who went to an event, had an anxiety attack, had to be to be talked down from 'crazy" by several swingers and spent a lot of the night crying. Don't do as I do lol. I've got better at socialising since then. | |||
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"I wish people would stop going on about the clique at events. Is it so fecking wrong to chat with a group of friends you know that you only meet at fab events. We have never been to an event where we chatted or sat down with people where we were ignored or made feel unwelcome. I am sorry guys but it's not play school where the teacher holds your hand and tells everyone you are new and to be nice and be your new best friend. You cant sit in the corner and expect people to come to you. My advice is, if you are unsure stand at the bar chat to people as they come up say hi I/we are new do you mind if we join you guys. 99.9% of people will say yes come on I will introduce you . You have to make the first move. I know its not always easy but it is always worth the effort. " I suppose "cliques" exist in all walks of life. But my experience from my very first social was anything but that. I found people to be warm, friendly, and open. But you are right. You do have to make an effort and introduce yourself. Stating its your first time is a good idea. That let's people know a little more. | |||
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"We prefer to be called a cult thank you very much " 10 out of 10. No notes! | |||
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"We're taking notes here and we'll discuss it all at our meeting later on today. " Through the chair person of course ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"It's only a clique to those that can't get invites to things" Dont agree with that statement at all. | |||
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"Walk your own path with passion and pride leaving those unwilling to join you to travel their own fab journey. ♥️🕊🤗" 100% this. Great advice not just for Fab but for life. | |||
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"Sadly those with low self esteem will always gravitate towards some alpha types and before you know it you have a loud "clicking noise" emanating from that exclusive group. The alphas wallow in the attention and the minions exclude others to jealousy guard the little recognition they are getting. Excluding others obviously also increases their odds of getting a ride from within that group. I have been to bigger social events where I have been ignored and even have had people collectively turn their back on me when I tried to engage. But equally I have been to smaller Fab gatherings where everyone interacts with each other and proper social interaction prevails. Fab is a microcosm of society at large but with the element of sexual jealousy and frustration added in. It is often more about egos and exclusion than interaction and inclusion. It is also amusing to watch a pattern develop online where people block you, for whatever reason they might have, but then others from their closely aligned group feel obliged, or worse still, are told to do the same. Walk your own path with passion and pride leaving those unwilling to join you to travel their own fab journey. ♥️🕊🤗" Very well put | |||
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"I wish people would stop going on about the clique at events. Is it so fecking wrong to chat with a group of friends you know that you only meet at fab events. We have never been to an event where we chatted or sat down with people where we were ignored or made feel unwelcome. I am sorry guys but it's not play school where the teacher holds your hand and tells everyone you are new and to be nice and be your new best friend. You cant sit in the corner and expect people to come to you. My advice is, if you are unsure stand at the bar chat to people as they come up say hi I/we are new do you mind if we join you guys. 99.9% of people will say yes come on I will introduce you . You have to make the first move. I know its not always easy but it is always worth the effort. " Cliques are everywhere its normal to find a group Its in our nature we use it as a fall back/security blanket to help us when we venture further afield to seek our fortune If it doesn't work out we can always come home to clique to lick our wounds | |||
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"I don't think there is cliques as such it's more in the mind of the person my 1st social when I arrived everyone was already in a group chatting with each other and for me as a single lady it was very daunting but I pulled up my big girls pants and joined in and haven't looked back since Now when I go to socials if I see someone on their own I'll go and bring them into the chat as I know how scary it can be" I think this is brilliant. It would make such a difference to someone if they are invited over to a group. The awkward shyness you might feel would be dispelled very quickly. I'm sure there are some people who appear standoffish but are simply really nice but shy. | |||
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"I don't think there is cliques as such it's more in the mind of the person my 1st social when I arrived everyone was already in a group chatting with each other and for me as a single lady it was very daunting but I pulled up my big girls pants and joined in and haven't looked back since Now when I go to socials if I see someone on their own I'll go and bring them into the chat as I know how scary it can be" That's the spirit people should follow! | |||
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" There are groups of friends who absolutely are exclusionary. On the surface of it they might seem friendly but sure as shit if your face doesn't fit, or you're in any way - in their eyes - worthy of ridicule, you'll be made fun of and mocked behind your back. It's difficult to deny that it exists when you've seen it first hand and made the decision to remove yourself from the toxicity That said, thankfully those people are in the minority. Generally people are friendly and welcoming - including groups of people who already know each other. " 👍 | |||
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"When I started here first and tried to go to a social I was denied but then the host changed her mind and I went.. I was told later that night the reason behind me being denied in the first place was because the person was told by a group of ladies that I was a stuck up snop, full of myself and thought I was better than everyone else.. Thankful people saw this was not the case at all... The point I'm trying to make is people make judgments here without even meeting the person weather it be a single person or a group or clique... I always do my own thing and will talk to anyone " 👍 | |||
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"Decided years ago that the only way I could control the clique was not to let anyone else join and kept my club exclusive ever since ![]() ![]() 👍 | |||
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"It's refreshing but not surprising to see that a few women who have attended numerous socials have experienced the exclusion zones that many will claim don't exist. Not all of those "friendship" groups are as wholesome as they are often portrayed. " 👍 | |||
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"So is there cliques. Perhaps there should be a simple yes or no vote. No waffle just a yes or no" There may or may not be cliques!! ![]() | |||
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"We joined the Connacht Cabal ourselves. Not the best funded clique, but a sound bunch and they do a mean breakfast after AGMs. ![]() Sold! Where do I sign up ![]() | |||
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"We joined the Connacht Cabal ourselves. Not the best funded clique, but a sound bunch and they do a mean breakfast after AGMs. ![]() I'm in. Can't wait to see the Agenda. Love a clique with an agenda. And minutes. | |||
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"We joined the Connacht Cabal ourselves. Not the best funded clique, but a sound bunch and they do a mean breakfast after AGMs. ![]() Very good. Do they keep a blow by blow account of proceedings we wonder ![]() | |||
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"What are the required skills and scope of duties? .... I wonder if I have any chance of getting to one before I start sending my CV and application." You can join my clique anytime, we culchies are fairly civilised now. ![]() | |||
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