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"Where were you 2 hours ago Auntony when I was trying to decide what trainers to buy, huh? " We both know i was most likely still stuck in your wet dreams , hope you picked the most outrageously in-practical but sexy out ones !!! | |||
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"Auntony fella Why is it I complain about not getting enough free weekend time to myself Then when I do get some... I do absolutely nothing with the time Case in point... tonight "Your time wasn't wasted Biscuits , I did note you viewed my profile , that's never a waste of time !! | |||
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"Auntony fella Why is it I complain about not getting enough free weekend time to myself Then when I do get some... I do absolutely nothing with the time Case in point... tonight
Your time wasn't wasted Biscuits , I did note you viewed my profile , that's never a waste of time !!
"Get a room guys! You make a lovely couple 😘 | |||
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"Where were you 2 hours ago Auntony when I was trying to decide what trainers to buy, huh? We both know i was most likely still stuck in your wet dreams , hope you picked the most outrageously in-practical but sexy out ones !!!" You betcha! Thanks Auntony | |||
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"I am the problem needs solving" No one on this site is going to disagree with that statement. Understanding your own predicament is the first step. You've a long road ahead of you , hopefully some newbie blank faces who don't know you will help you on your journey | |||
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"Why are so many women off chocolate for lent o great one "Because they are fat | |||
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"Why are so many women off chocolate for lent o great one
Because they are fat "That is 100% why I'm off it too 
This Auntony is the real deal!  | |||
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"Why are so many women off chocolate for lent o great one
Because they are fat
That is 100% why I'm off it too
This Auntony is the real deal! "One more reason , not sure anyone wants to eat chocolate that's been between bogman nether regions !! May contain nuts !! | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " Pink is definitely readily available and quite common now on sites. | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " Castello, I think you might need a new hobby. So can I suggest, work site perving. All you need is to park up at a building site and look at all the different colour high vissy jackets. Sorted. | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " Hi Castello , great question not !! Hi Viz jackets can be any colour for personal use , but the chances of you being seen as you troll the roads could be lower. For work purposes they must adhere to EN ISO 20471, the European standard for high-visibility clothing. Its proven orange and yellow can be seen from 1200 ft , hence preference to use these colours. Fun Fact , if you exit your car and don't move to behind the barrier on the M1 in England your life expectancy become 20 mins !! | |||
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"How the hell is a shy guy able to get his personality across when he can barely can talk to women never mind have a shit profile " Try A.I to write the profile and alcohol when talking , what's the worst that can happen ,can't get any shittier for you. | |||
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"Was under the illusion pre Fabs that I had a great ding dong but looking at some of the meat swords on this site has challenged my thinking……. Looked up cock pumps but in my post nut clarity found I wasn’t that arsed…… So my question is… will Henry Hoover do the job or can he be trusted? And as a straight man does sticking my ding dong down Henry’s trunk challenge my thinking again and back to square one?! Please help…. " Henry Hoover will most certainly work , cause they also come with the extra small nozzles , may I suggest buying 2 , cause the ladies also love a big ball sack , take plenty of pictures , it will help the surgeons work out what happened!! | |||
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"Dear Auntony - how do I escape a sex dungeon? I recently met with a lovely lady from fab who seemed utterly delightful in our text exchanges. We met in town for cocktails & a light supper where I noticed her bare foot repeatedly climbing my inseam. We'd barely left the eatery before she insisted I take her home. I am now chained to a bed. In a state of complete undress and near constant arousal. She has had her way with me several times over a number of hours and there seems to be no end in sight. Her appetite is voracious and I'm relatively confident I shall be walking sideways for a period of days hereafter. My captor, to her credit, has been keeping me hydrated and fed. She is, as I write currently returning with water any second before she intends to ravish me once more. In my current position I expect she'll want to moun.. Mr yfclgfn Mjo Bjjklgll Hhn Jbbbhbyhfdddjkl Kjjohviuhhfdddfgklpiyfc. Cccccfuyghiollloyrrcc. Casey fcooytch nbhc ftyooo toothbrush vvfhookb Send help, TINt" I'm failing to see the problem here !! Apart from a restaurant that allows people to be bare foot, sounds classy , uuuggghhh!! | |||
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"Dear Auntony - how do I escape a sex dungeon? I recently met with a lovely lady from fab who seemed utterly delightful in our text exchanges. We met in town for cocktails & a light supper where I noticed her bare foot repeatedly climbing my inseam. We'd barely left the eatery before she insisted I take her home. I am now chained to a bed. In a state of complete undress and near constant arousal. She has had her way with me several times over a number of hours and there seems to be no end in sight. Her appetite is voracious and I'm relatively confident I shall be walking sideways for a period of days hereafter. My captor, to her credit, has been keeping me hydrated and fed. She is, as I write currently returning with water any second before she intends to ravish me once more. In my current position I expect she'll want to moun.. Mr yfclgfn Mjo Bjjklgll Hhn Jbbbhbyhfdddjkl Kjjohviuhhfdddfgklpiyfc. Cccccfuyghiollloyrrcc. Casey fcooytch nbhc ftyooo toothbrush vvfhookb Send help, TINt I'm failing to see the problem here !!" My person (or rather certain parts thereof) is required to entertain another lady with designs later this evening. One does hate to be late to such appointments as it harms the reputation, of course. My fear is that should I reveal this to my captor she may insist on joining me, leading to an unholy matrimony of the three of us caught in a web of lust and desire and lube. I have my gardening to think of! Those hedges don't clip themselves (as you well know). "Apart from a restaurant that allows people to be bare foot, sounds classy , uuuggghhh!! " Surely you've had a lady slip off her Louboutin's to playfully hunt your manhood, no? | |||
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"Dear Auntony My problem is that by having a small cock I only get men wanting to suck it But I’m not gay. Should I just let them as I haven’t been sucked in ages? " Not all ladies want or enjoy big Cock, Lots of couples here offering annonymous blow and go, glory hole's , could be an option as long as the hole isn't in a 4inch thick wall. 50 / 50 chance its a lady. And yes some ladies have beards Related fact : in a firing squad of seven , one gun is loaded with a blank , so the soldier can take comfort that he may not of killed someone . | |||
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"Dear Auntony - how do I escape a sex dungeon? I recently met with a lovely lady from fab who seemed utterly delightful in our text exchanges. We met in town for cocktails & a light supper where I noticed her bare foot repeatedly climbing my inseam. We'd barely left the eatery before she insisted I take her home. I am now chained to a bed. In a state of complete undress and near constant arousal. She has had her way with me several times over a number of hours and there seems to be no end in sight. Her appetite is voracious and I'm relatively confident I shall be walking sideways for a period of days hereafter. My captor, to her credit, has been keeping me hydrated and fed. She is, as I write currently returning with water any second before she intends to ravish me once more. In my current position I expect she'll want to moun.. Mr yfclgfn Mjo Bjjklgll Hhn Jbbbhbyhfdddjkl Kjjohviuhhfdddfgklpiyfc. Cccccfuyghiollloyrrcc. Casey fcooytch nbhc ftyooo toothbrush vvfhookb Send help, TINt I'm failing to see the problem here !! My person (or rather certain parts thereof) is required to entertain another lady with designs later this evening. One does hate to be late to such appointments as it harms the reputation, of course. My fear is that should I reveal this to my captor she may insist on joining me, leading to an unholy matrimony of the three of us caught in a web of lust and desire and lube. I have my gardening to think of! Those hedges don't clip themselves (as you well know). Apart from a restaurant that allows people to be bare foot, sounds classy , uuuggghhh!! Surely you've had a lady slip off her Louboutin's to playfully hunt your manhood, no? " Sorry for not getting back sooner , I just didn't care . Your stuck now make the most of it. You can't be under too much pressure if you've time to write a post that would equal James Joyce's Ulysses. I can recommend you buy a HUSQVARNA AUTOMOWER Aspire R4, can free up time the next time your caught up. For H&S reasons bare feet and food do not mix in commercial establishment. | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!!" Don’t know why I’m hearing the theme tune to the A Team when I read the first couple of lines | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!! Don’t know why I’m hearing the theme tune to the A Team when I read the first couple of lines "St. Auntionette here, It's because ye are about to hop in the passion wagon and take a spin 😜 | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!!" Dear Auntony Why don't I care about Mothers Day? Is it because I am dead inside 😳 Mrs 🖤 | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!! Don’t know why I’m hearing the theme tune to the A Team when I read the first couple of lines "LOL , most likely your an 80s kid that used to get there hair dryer whilst watching it. !!! I do love it when a plan cums together !!! | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!! Dear Auntony Why don't I care about Mothers Day? Is it because I am dead inside 😳 Mrs 🖤" Better return the salted caramel Magnum 6 pack so 🙄 | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!! Dear Auntony Why don't I care about Mothers Day? Is it because I am dead inside 😳 Mrs 🖤" This is quite common , with ladies who have extremely soft skin. Take out the wooden spoon and give the kids or Mr a good clatter , this may snap you back into maternal mood !! And prompt them to spoil you .!! | |||
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"Why do I keep buying milk and forgetting to drink it " This is quite common for person of your vintage living in the border counties. The great milk storage of the late 80s , forced families into alternatives like goats milk or hot water in their cornflakes. Buying extra milk maybe over compensation as a result of this trauma. I would suggest the next time you use up a milk cartoon , fill it water, and leave it in the fridge tricking the sub conscious brain into thinking your fridge is full Or a family of cats could me handy | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " my company use pink, white, green, yellow and orange, all to identy different personal. New hires pink, orange for mangement, green first aid, white for the quality control team, and yellow for genral Oppertive | |||
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"Do you have a dilemma needs sorting ? Do you have a problem needs solving ? Do you just need to moan about something ? Throw it out there , maybe Auntony can help ? Now is your chance !!! Dear Auntony Why don't I care about Mothers Day? Is it because I am dead inside 😳 Mrs 🖤 Better return the salted caramel Magnum 6 pack so 🙄" You shouldn't have 😋😇 | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " Only whilst driving this evening did I see a woman walking in a pink hi-vis and hat with red hair in Kilbride. Certainly drew my attention  | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow my company use pink, white, green, yellow and orange, all to identy different personal. New hires pink, orange for mangement, green first aid, white for the quality control team, and yellow for genral Oppertive " In short, you want the Quality Control team to die! | |||
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"Why can't high vis jackets be purple or pink..why always orange or yellow " Some factories use different colours, but they shouldn't and they will have serious issues if they ever have an accident. There is a reason its always yellow or orange only on construction sites. (Orange is usually a banksman or machine operator.) Why?...Because green, blue, pink or white do not meet safety standards. There's my serious post for the day! | |||
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"Why?...Because green, blue, pink or white do not meet safety standards. Got worried you were talking about lingerie for a second "Not a huge fan of pink or white, to be honest...green or blue, though 🤤 | |||
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"Dear Agony Aunty, I couldn’t help but take advantage of the lovely weather yesterday to get a little sunshine on my boobies and tender bits. But oh dear! I fell asleep and now it hurts to wear clothes. What am I to do? 😊😇" PM your address Ms Devine , this needs one to one attention. | |||
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"Dear Agony Aunty, I couldn’t help but take advantage of the lovely weather yesterday to get a little sunshine on my boobies and tender bits. But oh dear! I fell asleep and now it hurts to wear clothes. What am I to do? 😊😇 PM your address Ms Devine , this needs one to one attention." Thanks Auntony! This fabber appreciates your dedication to customer service 😘 | |||
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"Dear Agony Aunty, I couldn’t help but take advantage of the lovely weather yesterday to get a little sunshine on my boobies and tender bits. But oh dear! I fell asleep and now it hurts to wear clothes. What am I to do? 😊😇 PM your address Ms Devine , this needs one to one attention. Thanks Auntony! This fabber appreciates your dedication to customer service 😘" Keep using the cabbage leaves till I get there !! And send a pic incase I'm stuck in traffic !! | |||
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"Dear Agony Aunty, I couldn’t help but take advantage of the lovely weather yesterday to get a little sunshine on my boobies and tender bits. But oh dear! I fell asleep and now it hurts to wear clothes. What am I to do? 😊😇 PM your address Ms Devine , this needs one to one attention. Thanks Auntony! This fabber appreciates your dedication to customer service 😘 Keep using the cabbage leaves till I get there !! And send a pic incase I'm stuck in traffic !!" Damn cabbage leaves aren’t big enough 🙄🥬 | |||
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"Dear Agony Aunty, I couldn’t help but take advantage of the lovely weather yesterday to get a little sunshine on my boobies and tender bits. But oh dear! I fell asleep and now it hurts to wear clothes. What am I to do? 😊😇 PM your address Ms Devine , this needs one to one attention. Thanks Auntony! This fabber appreciates your dedication to customer service 😘 Keep using the cabbage leaves till I get there !! And send a pic incase I'm stuck in traffic !! Damn cabbage leaves aren’t big enough 🙄🥬 " We can all see that from your new photo LOL | |||
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