FabSwingers.com forum: Fantasies - is there a male/female divide?

By *ire Straights OP Couple
5 days ago

Dublin

For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ?

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By *llie_xWoman
5 days ago

Town

I’m a bit of both

There are some that I wouldn’t want to play out in real life and then lots that I just need the right partner in crime for 😉

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By *he boy next door300Man
5 days ago

MAGHERAFELT

The Mrs is an individual. Must be respected. Coercion will not work.

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By *ire Straights OP Couple
5 days ago

Dublin

[Removed by poster at 28/03/25 15:54:42]

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By *ire Straights OP Couple
5 days ago

Dublin

"The Mrs is an individual. Must be respected. Coercion will not work. "

Totally.. nobody is wrong or right. We agree that. My question was is it a gender thing ? It's not something you can ask in Vanilla land.

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By *he boy next door300Man
5 days ago

MAGHERAFELT

"The Mrs is an individual. Must be respected. Coercion will not work.

Totally.. nobody is wrong or right. We agree that. My question was is it a gender thing ? It's not something you can ask in Vanilla land. "

Understood. Apologies if i came across wrong. I don't believe it is a gender thing. We all have our fantasies. Some are extreme some are more Vanilla.

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By *ire Straights OP Couple
5 days ago

Dublin

"The Mrs is an individual. Must be respected. Coercion will not work.

Totally.. nobody is wrong or right. We agree that. My question was is it a gender thing ? It's not something you can ask in Vanilla land.

Understood. Apologies if i came across wrong. I don't believe it is a gender thing. We all have our fantasies. Some are extreme some are more Vanilla. "

No problem. It's not that Mrs isn't daring - it's just if she would do it she regards it as a goal not a fantasy

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By *he boy next door300Man
5 days ago

MAGHERAFELT

"The Mrs is an individual. Must be respected. Coercion will not work.

Totally.. nobody is wrong or right. We agree that. My question was is it a gender thing ? It's not something you can ask in Vanilla land.

Understood. Apologies if i came across wrong. I don't believe it is a gender thing. We all have our fantasies. Some are extreme some are more Vanilla.

No problem. It's not that Mrs isn't daring - it's just if she would do it she regards it as a goal not a fantasy

That i thought it may be a gender thing. I have a few goals to fulfil, but, never have really recognised the other gender may feel the same. Lesson learned!

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
5 days ago

Newtownabbey

Mine are pretty extreme and will probably stay fantasy.

Mr has pretty much fulfilled all of his....im the twisted one

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By *oradMan
5 days ago

Dublin / Galway

In my exp, it comes down to safety & trust - or fear of judgment. A lot of my exs wanted to try the MMF/FFM bit but hadnt disclosed that to previous lovers.

Once they found a guy who they believe genuinely wanted to satisfy their fantasies and who they felt would look after them (not really sexually but trust & security wise), over his own desires, they were more inclined to explore their thoughts.

But that was just my experience.

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By *oradMan
5 days ago

Dublin / Galway

And tbh they were also a bit more nuanced...

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By *arquisDeSadeCouple
5 days ago

Nope i don’t feel that’s a male/female thing as you describe.

I see fantasies as something I want to do. Otherwise what’s the point unless they come true. Mrs

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By *hatCoupleNextDoorCouple
5 days ago

nearby

I think both genders have their fantasies but for me, it's only when you're with a partner where you can actually talk about them and feel safe enough to give them a try that you might attempt to fulfill them!

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By *og-ManMan
5 days ago

somewhere

Would a difference be that a 3sum fantasy for a man is normally an FMF but for a woman would be a MFM

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By *ettaManMan
5 days ago

Based in Kerry, work in Cork.

"For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ? "

Have read/listened to My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday?

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By *astelloWoman
5 days ago

Far far away

"For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ?

Have read/listened to My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday?"

I've read it and fantasy can be unfulfilled or become a reality it depends on the fantasy. That book opened my eyes that fantasising is perfectly normal.

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By *samyhotwifeWoman
5 days ago

Dublin

I think some fantasies are a little more risky for women if they actually became a reality due to pregnancy risk or perceived safety risk, so that may be why there's a divide. Some fantasies I'd have are not realistically possible so there's that too.

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By *dfabMan
4 days ago

Dunboyne

"For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ?

Have read/listened to My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday?

I've read it and fantasy can be unfulfilled or become a reality it depends on the fantasy. That book opened my eyes that fantasising is perfectly normal. "

Same.

Thought I was weird with some of mine when younger but after reading My Secret garden I realised women can be just a sex craved perverts as me.

A welcome revelation

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By *hocko87Man
4 days ago

dublin

I have a big fantasy which I have not had the pleasure in making it real . But this fantasy could be both male and a little bit female but mostly male.

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 days ago

Belfast

Over the years on fab when the subject of fantasy comes up in private messages, most women think I'm deflecting or afraid to talk about mine.

The truth is I've never had one so if someone asks what my fantasies are I can't answer.

It's only in the last few years I've discovered that's actually a thing and it's called aphantasia which means a reduction or loss of the visual image faculty.

I have no problem visualising previous experiences but fantasy situations are non existent.

Hyperphantasia is the increased quality of visual imagery so it's like viewing in 4k.

Whether or not that affects men and women differently I've no idea but I'm assuming that someone with hyperphantasia would visualise a fantasy as much more real and accessible while those with aphantasia would either never experience it or would pass it off as a silly dream or a fleeting thought.

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By *ettaManMan
4 days ago

Based in Kerry, work in Cork.

I've read it and fantasy can be unfulfilled or become a reality it depends on the fantasy. That book opened my eyes that fantasising is perfectly normal. "

Ya, it seemed like there's was a mix of fantasies that would never happen and those that could.

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By *antra MassageMan
4 days ago

Dublin and midlands

"For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ?

Have read/listened to My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday?"

A brilliant insight into women's fantasies

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By *andyman4urpleasureMan
4 days ago

dublin

Spot on assessment

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By *risharrowMan
2 days ago

Clare,

"For me fantasies are almost exclusively stuff I'd love to do but haven't managed yet. Basically I would if opportunity came my way.

For Mrs DS fantasies are just that and almost exclusively she wouldn't do then in the real world.

Is this a male/female thing ? "

I'd be of the same parish of thought as Mr.

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By *aoirse NaughtyWoman
2 days ago

Cork

For me they are half and half, many I have done or want to do and just as many I know I'll never do but can have nice thoughts about them

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
2 days ago

Northern Ireland

I think it's all relative. After being widowed and then celibate for 15 years my fantasy was to be held and have skin on skin contact. Then when I got regular intimacy with a new partner I started exploring other things. I always wanted to suck two guys at the same time. Done that now. Wanted to watch my male partner with another guy. Done that too. Wanted to be in the middle of a spit roast, that was amazing and cant wait to do it again. Lots of other OMG I can't believe we are doing this moments.

With my partner I can explore whatever he and I want and our only limit is our imagination

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By *affa31Woman
2 days ago

Galway

My fantasies are things that I plan on making a reality at some stage.

Fantasising about something that I’ll never do would feel pointless to me.

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By *ofusplusCouple
2 days ago

Limerick

My fantasies never involve me. But I have no interest in being a voyeur in a room either. Quite happy to indulge in my own filthy mind when the mood strikes. The mind can be powerful, especially for women! Mrs

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
1 day ago

Portstewart

Wouldn't say it's gender that would be the cause of the differences as such probably more based on personality for us I would be more reserved while beard is willing to ask for something that would be a fantasy for him whereas I'd need to get to know someone better before making suggestions about my fantasies

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By *TinyDelight-Woman
1 day ago

City Centre

I've fulfilled a lot of my fantasies over the years, mostly due to the amazing partners I've had and the type of people they were. It helped that they had their own experiences. That they were more than capable, experienced and happy to make mine a reality and they were eager to be part of that. The majority helped fulfilled by my female partner at the time.

Maybe it comes down to the person rather than being gender specific. I wasn't led astray, I knew exactly what I wanted.

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By *ionycusMan
1 day ago

Babylon

I find I develop fantasies as I go along. They change and as I complete them then I develop more. I don't sit and daydream about them and rarely put thought into it.

I do believe there is a difference between the genders as men will try to solve a problem (or complete a fantasy) and women can be happy to just talk about it. Obviously this isn't everyone as there are differences but generally speaking the majority,in my opinion.

In saying that, talking to ladies about sine of there's gives great fruit and sometimes being involved in someone elses fantasy can be a wonderful experience.

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