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"If you reply at all then they can get around a block by messaging again. So better no reply because a no normally leads to aggressive pushback." You can’t get around a block even if messages have been exchanged before. You can’t get around a filter (age/gender etc) if there have been messages exchanged. | |||
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"Prefer just to be told no thanks or I'm not interested " 100%. Any reply is preferable to none at all. | |||
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"Prefer just to be told no thanks or I'm not interested 100%. Any reply is preferable to none at all. " Absolutely!! I mean, it's proper manners. | |||
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"Would love to be able to 'mark' someones profile on my side to remind me that they didn't reply so that i don't view their profile again and make them think I'm a stalker!! " Block them or use the private notes feature 🤷🏻♀️ | |||
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"If you reply at all then they can get around a block by messaging again. So better no reply because a no normally leads to aggressive pushback. You can’t get around a block even if messages have been exchanged before. You can’t get around a filter (age/gender etc) if there have been messages exchanged. " There was a thread about this recently and I though that was the outcome, I must have misunderstood | |||
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"I don't really care tbh, I can take a hint." Yep pretty much this  | |||
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"If you reply at all then they can get around a block by messaging again. So better no reply because a no normally leads to aggressive pushback. You can’t get around a block even if messages have been exchanged before. You can’t get around a filter (age/gender etc) if there have been messages exchanged. " Should that not be you *can* get around a message filter if messages have been exchanged before? 😊 | |||
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"If you reply at all then they can get around a block by messaging again. So better no reply because a no normally leads to aggressive pushback. You can’t get around a block even if messages have been exchanged before. You can’t get around a filter (age/gender etc) if there have been messages exchanged. Should that not be you *can* get around a message filter if messages have been exchanged before? 😊" Sorry yea it should. Filters can be got around, blocks can’t. | |||
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"Blocked shmocked!!! I take being blocked as something of a badge(r) of honour. When it is not because of rudeness or abuse on my part, which I sincerely hope it never is, it means someone cares enough about not liking me to go to the bother of pressing the "B" button. Their reasons for doing so are absolutely their entitlement. Being domociled, at no cost, in the psyche of those that allow you to get under their thin skins does however bring it's own level of satisfaction. "In all my years here I've literally never seen someone who is actually clearly as bothered by being blocked yet unable to admit/recognise it as you tbh | |||
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"Blocked shmocked!!! I take being blocked as something of a badge(r) of honour. When it is not because of rudeness or abuse on my part, which I sincerely hope it never is, it means someone cares enough about not liking me to go to the bother of pressing the "B" button. Their reasons for doing so are absolutely their entitlement. Being domociled, at no cost, in the psyche of those that allow you to get under their thin skins does however bring it's own level of satisfaction.
In all my years here I've literally never seen someone who is actually clearly as bothered by being blocked yet unable to admit/recognise it as you tbh "..... I have always been open about the fact that I am blocked by a number of people on the site and it really doesn't bother me in the slightest. I am also happy to use the B button on occasion myself if someone is being an annoying prick.....or prickess. I do enjoy commenting on threads about blocking on the site as it's a concept that interests me. Your perception in relation to my feeling about being blocked is totally misjudged....but I fully support you in your right to express your opinions. I will now go off and do some serious reflection in case I have repressed feelings in relation to people on the site using one of its features against me....😱 | |||
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"I've done both and they both worked for me at the time. I've been blocked by lots of people I've never spoken to but as far as I'm aware I've never been blocked by someone I have actually spoken to. I've never been ghosted by anyone on here because I don't believe you can ghost someone you've never met. Conversations fizzle out. The end. " Conversations can fizzle out, but they can also restart again. I've had conversations with friends/lovers lull in the past but they're rarely indefinite & certainly not an indication of a definite end. It's a lull, nothing more. They start again. Here, however, it seems a lull in conversation equates to "don't ever contact me again unless it's on my terms". While that's fair enough for here & should be respected, it's also counter-intuitive. I get, respect, and understand that * It's frequently not possible for people to reply to every single message with a "No, thanks". * There are absurdly abusive people out there who won't accept no as an answer. * Nobody owes anybody else anything. With that said - if one has been in a significant text exchange with another, made agreed upon plans to meet, etc. - surely it's a MINIMUM courtesy to expect a message of *some* variety to draw the conversation to a close? I feel a little more strongly about this at present as this happened to me recently. Booked tickets, hotel, restaurant, planned flexible itinerary, etc. Ghosted without a word. That's a pretty shitty thing to do someone you were genuinely getting along with. Far better to simply be honest and upfront. As it currently stands I have no idea if I've been ghosted simply because she lost interest (perfectly cool), whether I've slighted her somehow, or if there's something otherwise "wrong" with me. And now I'll never know. C'est la vie & all that. Skin thicker but I hope that I will never be this discourteous to another. | |||
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"I've done both and they both worked for me at the time. I've been blocked by lots of people I've never spoken to but as far as I'm aware I've never been blocked by someone I have actually spoken to. I've never been ghosted by anyone on here because I don't believe you can ghost someone you've never met. Conversations fizzle out. The end. Conversations can fizzle out, but they can also restart again. I've had conversations with friends/lovers lull in the past but they're rarely indefinite & certainly not an indication of a definite end. It's a lull, nothing more. They start again. Here, however, it seems a lull in conversation equates to "don't ever contact me again unless it's on my terms". While that's fair enough for here & should be respected, it's also counter-intuitive. I get, respect, and understand that * It's frequently not possible for people to reply to every single message with a "No, thanks". * There are absurdly abusive people out there who won't accept no as an answer. * Nobody owes anybody else anything. With that said - if one has been in a significant text exchange with another, made agreed upon plans to meet, etc. - surely it's a MINIMUM courtesy to expect a message of *some* variety to draw the conversation to a close? I feel a little more strongly about this at present as this happened to me recently. Booked tickets, hotel, restaurant, planned flexible itinerary, etc. Ghosted without a word. That's a pretty shitty thing to do someone you were genuinely getting along with. Far better to simply be honest and upfront. As it currently stands I have no idea if I've been ghosted simply because she lost interest (perfectly cool), whether I've slighted her somehow, or if there's something otherwise "wrong" with me. And now I'll never know. C'est la vie & all that. Skin thicker but I hope that I will never be this discourteous to another. " I might agree if anything like that had ever happened to me but it hasn't. I've never had a no show or been one. I don't book hotels unless I've met someone 2 or 3 times socially and I've never been stood up at a social. None of that is down to luck. | |||
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"While I do not command an army of White Knights or simpering foot soldiers to jump to my defence in the hope of gaining future favours I do believe my verifications, including those from event hosts and people I have met at socials which I have attended, are testament to the fact that I am both respectful of others and respected by those whom I have engaged with during my time on fab. As an organiser of fab group walks I fully appreciate the need for discretion being used when choosing those that are allowed to attend events especially those held in public places and therefore fully support event organisers in their efforts to ensure the safety, privacy and dignity of those who attend such events. I would take issue with any insinuation that I may be blocked by people or be precluded from attending events due to any bad behaviour, rudeness or other previous misdemeanors on my part. I value my reputation on fab as much as I do my good name in real life and any suggestion that I have cause to look at my reasons for being blocked other than because someone else didn't get my sense of humour, disagreed with an opinion I expressed on the forums or felt in some way upstaged by me, is very much wide of the mark. " Ya I was definitely wrong. This subject is absolutely one that doesn't bother you. My bad | |||
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"While I do not command an army of White Knights or simpering foot soldiers to jump to my defence in the hope of gaining future favours I do believe my verifications, including those from event hosts and people I have met at socials which I have attended, are testament to the fact that I am both respectful of others and respected by those whom I have engaged with during my time on fab. As an organiser of fab group walks I fully appreciate the need for discretion being used when choosing those that are allowed to attend events especially those held in public places and therefore fully support event organisers in their efforts to ensure the safety, privacy and dignity of those who attend such events. I would take issue with any insinuation that I may be blocked by people or be precluded from attending events due to any bad behaviour, rudeness or other previous misdemeanors on my part. I value my reputation on fab as much as I do my good name in real life and any suggestion that I have cause to look at my reasons for being blocked other than because someone else didn't get my sense of humour, disagreed with an opinion I expressed on the forums or felt in some way upstaged by me, is very much wide of the mark. " I'm not sure why you would automatically assume that anyone was singling you out badger but that's quite the reaction for a man that's not bothered at all what anyone thinks. | |||
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"While I do not command an army of White Knights or simpering foot soldiers to jump to my defence in the hope of gaining future favours I do believe my verifications, including those from event hosts and people I have met at socials which I have attended, are testament to the fact that I am both respectful of others and respected by those whom I have engaged with during my time on fab. As an organiser of fab group walks I fully appreciate the need for discretion being used when choosing those that are allowed to attend events especially those held in public places and therefore fully support event organisers in their efforts to ensure the safety, privacy and dignity of those who attend such events. I would take issue with any insinuation that I may be blocked by people or be precluded from attending events due to any bad behaviour, rudeness or other previous misdemeanors on my part. I value my reputation on fab as much as I do my good name in real life and any suggestion that I have cause to look at my reasons for being blocked other than because someone else didn't get my sense of humour, disagreed with an opinion I expressed on the forums or felt in some way upstaged by me, is very much wide of the mark. I'm not sure why you would automatically assume that anyone was singling you out badger but that's quite the reaction for a man that's not bothered at all what anyone thinks." ..... While the "reply and quote" option may not have been used I think it is glaringly obvious to any fair minded person following this thread that my assumption was correct. And as everyone knows, badgers are tenacious in character and will always fight to defend their territory,.....and in this case their reputation. 🦡 | |||
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"While I do not command an army of White Knights or simpering foot soldiers to jump to my defence in the hope of gaining future favours I do believe my verifications, including those from event hosts and people I have met at socials which I have attended, are testament to the fact that I am both respectful of others and respected by those whom I have engaged with during my time on fab. As an organiser of fab group walks I fully appreciate the need for discretion being used when choosing those that are allowed to attend events especially those held in public places and therefore fully support event organisers in their efforts to ensure the safety, privacy and dignity of those who attend such events. I would take issue with any insinuation that I may be blocked by people or be precluded from attending events due to any bad behaviour, rudeness or other previous misdemeanors on my part. I value my reputation on fab as much as I do my good name in real life and any suggestion that I have cause to look at my reasons for being blocked other than because someone else didn't get my sense of humour, disagreed with an opinion I expressed on the forums or felt in some way upstaged by me, is very much wide of the mark. I'm not sure why you would automatically assume that anyone was singling you out badger but that's quite the reaction for a man that's not bothered at all what anyone thinks. ..... While the "reply and quote" option may not have been used I think it is glaringly obvious to any fair minded person following this thread that my assumption was correct. And as everyone knows, badgers are tenacious in character and will always fight to defend their territory,.....and in this case their reputation. 🦡 " To be honest I assumed the comment was in relation to the other thread about being blocked from attending an event. The only one making it about you is you. | |||
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"While I do not command an army of White Knights or simpering foot soldiers to jump to my defence in the hope of gaining future favours I do believe my verifications, including those from event hosts and people I have met at socials which I have attended, are testament to the fact that I am both respectful of others and respected by those whom I have engaged with during my time on fab. As an organiser of fab group walks I fully appreciate the need for discretion being used when choosing those that are allowed to attend events especially those held in public places and therefore fully support event organisers in their efforts to ensure the safety, privacy and dignity of those who attend such events. I would take issue with any insinuation that I may be blocked by people or be precluded from attending events due to any bad behaviour, rudeness or other previous misdemeanors on my part. I value my reputation on fab as much as I do my good name in real life and any suggestion that I have cause to look at my reasons for being blocked other than because someone else didn't get my sense of humour, disagreed with an opinion I expressed on the forums or felt in some way upstaged by me, is very much wide of the mark. I'm not sure why you would automatically assume that anyone was singling you out badger but that's quite the reaction for a man that's not bothered at all what anyone thinks. ..... While the "reply and quote" option may not have been used I think it is glaringly obvious to any fair minded person following this thread that my assumption was correct. And as everyone knows, badgers are tenacious in character and will always fight to defend their territory,.....and in this case their reputation. 🦡 To be honest I assumed the comment was in relation to the other thread about being blocked from attending an event. The only one making it about you is you. " ..... The fact that I had referred in an earlier post on this thread that I saw being blocked as a "badge of honour" was obviously what prompted the reference to "bragging" and therefore was making it about me. Back tracking, twisting words and trying to put a different spin on comments after the fact is a well worn ploy used to defend the indefensible. | |||
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"I don't really feel indefensible. In fact I feel quite fensible. " ..... Something to be proud of, perhaps even brag about. | |||
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"I've done both and they both worked for me at the time. I've been blocked by lots of people I've never spoken to but as far as I'm aware I've never been blocked by someone I have actually spoken to. I've never been ghosted by anyone on here because I don't believe you can ghost someone you've never met. Conversations fizzle out. The end. Conversations can fizzle out, but they can also restart again. I've had conversations with friends/lovers lull in the past but they're rarely indefinite & certainly not an indication of a definite end. It's a lull, nothing more. They start again. Here, however, it seems a lull in conversation equates to "don't ever contact me again unless it's on my terms". While that's fair enough for here & should be respected, it's also counter-intuitive. I get, respect, and understand that * It's frequently not possible for people to reply to every single message with a "No, thanks". * There are absurdly abusive people out there who won't accept no as an answer. * Nobody owes anybody else anything. With that said - if one has been in a significant text exchange with another, made agreed upon plans to meet, etc. - surely it's a MINIMUM courtesy to expect a message of *some* variety to draw the conversation to a close? I feel a little more strongly about this at present as this happened to me recently. Booked tickets, hotel, restaurant, planned flexible itinerary, etc. Ghosted without a word. That's a pretty shitty thing to do someone you were genuinely getting along with. Far better to simply be honest and upfront. As it currently stands I have no idea if I've been ghosted simply because she lost interest (perfectly cool), whether I've slighted her somehow, or if there's something otherwise "wrong" with me. And now I'll never know. C'est la vie & all that. Skin thicker but I hope that I will never be this discourteous to another. I might agree if anything like that had ever happened to me but it hasn't. I've never had a no show or been one. I don't book hotels unless I've met someone 2 or 3 times socially and I've never been stood up at a social. None of that is down to luck. " Hotel was for me only. Different part of the country. We'd agreed to meet for dinner & I didn't want the hassle of the last train back. Was planning to return the next afternoon. The only expectation was for conversation and laughs, nothing more. I usually keep expectations low on a meet. Sometimes it doesn't work out and we should both feel fine to walk away. The ghosting was, I think (and I'm biased), unnecessary. | |||
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"Blocking is fine. Not replying at all is fine. What I must admit I find a bit odd is when you have a conversation going well with someone and they drop out for no obvious reason. Obviously it's their choice, and it's fine, but it's a bit odd, especially when they're online every day. I'd much prefer in that case if they just told me they were no longer interested in chatting. If we've been getting on for a while they'll know that I'm not going to hassle them over it. Sure lookit.. " This. | |||
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"Blocking is fine. Not replying at all is fine. What I must admit I find a bit odd is when you have a conversation going well with someone and they drop out for no obvious reason. Obviously it's their choice, and it's fine, but it's a bit odd, especially when they're online every day. I'd much prefer in that case if they just told me they were no longer interested in chatting. If we've been getting on for a while they'll know that I'm not going to hassle them over it. Sure lookit.. " Some times the guy just comes out with a real deal breaker comment and it's annoying when otherwise the conversation had been fine, but then they drop that. It could be anything from a transphobic comment to expecting wank chat on message 5. | |||
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"Blocking is fine. Not replying at all is fine. What I must admit I find a bit odd is when you have a conversation going well with someone and they drop out for no obvious reason. Obviously it's their choice, and it's fine, but it's a bit odd, especially when they're online every day. I'd much prefer in that case if they just told me they were no longer interested in chatting. If we've been getting on for a while they'll know that I'm not going to hassle them over it. Sure lookit.. Some times the guy just comes out with a real deal breaker comment and it's annoying when otherwise the conversation had been fine, but then they drop that. It could be anything from a transphobic comment to expecting wank chat on message 5. " That's all fine. I'm talking about the conversations that are going well, you've got the measure of each other and everything is as it should be, then suddenly, nothing, no response yet the other person is online. Now I know there can be myriad reasons why there's a breakdown but it's really frustrating. In that situation I'd rather be told, even if instantly blocked. | |||
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"I'm guilty of taking longish breaks from conversations. Sometimes my energy for chatting is just low and on those occasions, I can just as happily pick it up again. Then again, sometimes I can go the best part of a week without chatting to my family so... 🤷 If I never want to speak to someone again chances are they'll know... I'll either have told them, blocked them, or both. " I'm definitely like this, also even with tight filters sometimes the inbox just gets too overwhelming for me to deal with. I do try and keep up with chats from friends list, especially if I spy a message from a certain hottie I'd love to climb on | |||
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"Which is preferable ? " .... Blocking is probably preferable as at least you know where you stand and it is an acceptable part of the site where people do not want to engage with you because of their specific preferences. It can be a problem though when, because of their desire not to communicate with you, they advise others to also stop chatting to you or block you. You will never know what has been said about you on pm's or in chat groups off fab unless some of your true friends become aware and let you know what is being said. Fab friends are to be treasured in a world where there will always be some jealous, vindictive or just plain crazy people. 👻🤚🚫❌ | |||
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"Which is preferable ? " I block for a handful of reasons - racism, misogyny and someone being a pest and not respecting boundaries being the most common reasons. I will ghost if a conversation takes a turn that makes me uncomfortable. Like if we’re chatting away and I get sent a dick pic out of nowhere or if a view is expressed that doesn’t match my values. I don’t feel the need to explain to the person why I’ve chosen to walk away from a conversation in those situations. Sometimes conversations just peter out and sometimes I’ll mean to reply, get distracted and forget. At the end of the day, fab is not life or death. If someone doesn’t want to continue a conversation with you, move on and find someone else to chat to. | |||
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