FabSwingers.com forum: Shite Jokes

By *affa31 OP Woman
18 weeks ago

Galway

Hit me with your worst/best

What fruit loves a slide?

A kiwiiiiiiiii

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

What's big, grey and doesn't matter

An irrelephant

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Why did the jellyfish blush?

Because it saw the sea’s bottom 😁

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

I often wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet

I've asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either!

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

I found stir fry all over my bed this morning.

Must've been sleep wokking again

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By *oodOmensfor2Couple
18 weeks ago

Ennis

What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

Halloumi

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By *affa31 OP Woman
18 weeks ago

Galway

"I found stir fry all over my bed this morning.

Must've been sleep wokking again

I knew I could count on you for this thread 😂

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

"I found stir fry all over my bed this morning.

Must've been sleep wokking again

I knew I could count on you for this thread 😂"

🫡

My mate got stung by a jellyfish and shouted to me - “Quick, piss on it!"

So I pissed on it and shouted - ”That's for stinging my mate you little bollocks!"

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By *ohnFKMan
18 weeks ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

"What's big, grey and doesn't matter

An irrelephant"

Ha!!

🤣👌

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By *exyScientistsCouple
18 weeks ago

Castlebar

"I found stir fry all over my bed this morning.

Must've been sleep wokking again

I knew I could count on you for this thread 😂

🫡

My mate got stung by a jellyfish and shouted to me - “Quick, piss on it!"

So I pissed on it and shouted - ”That's for stinging my mate you little bollocks!""

Omg 🤣

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By *rystalsswingCouple
18 weeks ago

Up the Road / Galway/ Midlands

"I found stir fry all over my bed this morning.

Must've been sleep wokking again

I knew I could count on you for this thread 😂

🫡

My mate got stung by a jellyfish and shouted to me - “Quick, piss on it!"

So I pissed on it and shouted - ”That's for stinging my mate you little bollocks!""

😂😂 that's actually funny!

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Ok one more (not really)... but an all-time favourite -

The Beach Boys walk into a bar.

"Round?"

"Round..."

"Get a round?"

"I'll get a round..."

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By *INTMan
18 weeks ago

Minutes from Somewhere Else

Two nuns are driving down a desolate Transylvanian back road. Out of nowhere a vampire leaps on the hood, hissing menacingly.

"Quick!" says the one "Show him your cross!"

Says the other to the vampire -

"GET OFF THE FUCKING CAR!!!"

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Bit of sad news...

Broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine because I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee.

Good new though is I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone

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By *errardNo8Man
18 weeks ago

Galway/Mayo

What did the bee say to the flower?

Hi honey.

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By *errardNo8Man
18 weeks ago

Galway/Mayo

So I had my fingers inside of her and she says take off your ring will ya....!

I said that's not my ring it's my watch

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
18 weeks ago

Newtownabbey

What do you call two Irish lesbians?

Gaelic

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Mate says to me -

"Sarcasm gets you nowhere."

I said -

"Well it got me to the final of the Sarcasm World Championships in Mexico in 2009"

He said -

"Really?"

I replied -

"Nooo!"

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By *affa31 OP Woman
18 weeks ago

Galway

What do you call an Irishman bouncing off two walls?

Rick O Shea

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By *iscuits8Man
18 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

(juat posted that in the celebrity crush thread

)

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By *rystalsswingCouple
18 weeks ago

Up the Road / Galway/ Midlands

"(juat posted that in the celebrity crush thread

You were wasted on that thread anyway 😁😁

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
18 weeks ago

Newtownabbey

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Tentacles

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By *INTMan
18 weeks ago

Minutes from Somewhere Else

The advent of AI has solved all but three of the main problems in computer science - naming things, and off-by-one errors.

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By *herest KhanMan
18 weeks ago

The Jungle

What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

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By *ezoMan
18 weeks ago

The Kingdom

"What do you call two Irish lesbians?

Gaelic "

Do you know why the little mermaid wears sea shells?

Because she grew out of her B shells.

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By *tesset69TV/TS
18 weeks ago

belfast

Who would want to tell SHITE Jokes anyway ?

Theyre always full of CRAP !!!

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
18 weeks ago

Newry

I sold my vacuum cleaner the other day. It was just gathering dust

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By *P_80Man
18 weeks ago

Waterford

What's red and invisible?

No Tomatoes.

Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because it was taking the piss out of the underpants.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say before he went out to the coal bunker?

I'll be black.

Why are there no televisions in Afghanistan?

Because of the tele ban.

What's the difference between a duck?

One of its legs are both the same.

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By *ezoMan
18 weeks ago

The Kingdom

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
18 weeks ago

cavan town

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice willie

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
18 weeks ago

cavan town

What do you call a Russian with 3 balls?

oodie nickabollikov

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By *radseman.jayMan
18 weeks ago

allover

What do you call i gay Irish couple? Michael fitzpatrick and patrick fitzmichael

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
18 weeks ago

Newtownabbey

Dogs can't operate MRI machines....but catscan

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By *uddlyBear1972Man
18 weeks ago

North Meath, beyond that there be dragons

I going to get an MRI done to see if I have claustrophobia.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

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By *axxxpowerMan
18 weeks ago

Rathfarnham

The ultimate shite jokes are Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe laces with his feet.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
18 weeks ago

Lucan

"The ultimate shite jokes are Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe laces with his feet.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter!

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By *ishWoman
18 weeks ago

Mullingar

2 cows in a field 1 goes Moo the other goes damn I was gonna say that

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By *herest KhanMan
18 weeks ago

The Jungle

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

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By *lue eyesMan
18 weeks ago

cavan

What do you call a Russian lady of the night

Onyourbackyoubitch

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By *radseman.jayMan
18 weeks ago

allover

What you call a Russian with 3 balls?

Whoyounick abollock off

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
18 weeks ago

cavan town

"What do you call i gay Irish couple? Michael fitzpatrick and patrick fitzmichael"

They are part of a foursome actually, the other 2 are Gerald Fitzsimon and Simon Fitzgerald

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
18 weeks ago

cavan town

2 ducks were flying over Belfast

One says "quack quack"

The other says "I can't go any quacker!!!"

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By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
18 weeks ago

cavan town

3 nuns were sitting on a park bench, when a guy came along and exposed himself to them.

The first nun immediately took a stroke and died

The second nun also took a stroke and died.

The third nun....... she couldn't reach

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By *P_80Man
18 weeks ago

Waterford

[Removed by poster at 19/03/25 13:21:59]

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By *P_80Man
18 weeks ago

Waterford

I was watching a clip from 1979 about the Irish love for drink and the narrator finished with this 'of the time' joke:

Did you hear about the Irish queer?

He prefers women over drink.

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