FabSwingers.com forum: Staying power

By *adylover321 OP Man
20 weeks ago

navan

How important is it too ladies and how long ideally should a man last I know I’ve posted this before and men that can last usually take the piss but it is very frustrating and can get men down that ejaculate quick what can slow the excitement down

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthyNightsCouple
20 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

As long as he can go again (concentrating on her pleasure this time) it's no problem at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affa31Woman
20 weeks ago

Galway

There’s no ideal time…finishing quickly may not be ideal but neither is pumping away for ages, going nowhere.

The important thing is the attention you pay to your partner. Plenty of foreplay, paying attention to her while you recover if a round 2 is on the cards.

Communicate with her in advance and don’t be embarrassed about it. The worst thing is if it happens to a guy, he gets embarrassed and the fun just ends abruptly. Suggest introducing toys as part of play etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

I don't know about you OP but every time during my life that something happened with the normal function of my dick it nearly destroyed my sense of identity

That might sound dramatic but I'm a dramatic person and, like most men, my maleness is hugely tied up in how virile I feel. Being able to satisfy a woman is huge part of that.

The first time it happened I had just come out of a 17yr relationship and couldn't get it up with a woman that was new to me. Just couldn't relax. I thought my boner was dead forever and I was no longer a man.

The second time was a phase of premature ejaculation and I honestly don't know if I felt better or worse than not being able to get it up.

Both are shit because it's embarrassing.

Have you looked into what might be behind it? Both times for me it was a phase that had an underlying cause. Once understood it was a matter of working through it.

Definitely the biggest game changer for me was learning to trust that I could simply explain to the woman I was with that this was the craic right now, not making a big deal of it for either of us, and getting on with all the other things that are fun in bed.

Trust women when they tell you it's ok.

Do some research into what you can do for yourself. Have a plan about that you can do for her.

See your doctor.

Best of luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avie tCouple
20 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

"I don't know about you OP but every time during my life that something happened with the normal function of my dick it nearly destroyed my sense of identity

That might sound dramatic but I'm a dramatic person and, like most men, my maleness is hugely tied up in how virile I feel. Being able to satisfy a woman is huge part of that.

The second time was a phase of premature ejaculation and I honestly don't know if I felt better or worse than not being able to get it up.

Both are shit because it's embarrassing.

Have you looked into what might be behind it? Both times for me it was a phase that had an underlying cause. Once understood it was a matter of working through it.

Trust women when they tell you it's ok.

Do some research into what you can do for yourself. Have a plan about that you can do for her.

See your doctor.

Best of luck."

Such an honest and well thought out reply....we've meet guys who on the night couldn't preform and we felt so bad for them tried to reassure them that it didn't matter to us, that it happens to the best etc...not sure if it made much difference tbh so that's why it's important for other guys to speak out...it happens to most guys at least once.....and when women say it's OK please believe them because most understand that if we had to get a physical erection everytime quite a few meets would go wrong...a lot of women including myself didn't always orgasam on a first meet but nobody classes it as a disaster (Mrs _avie t

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avie tCouple
20 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

"I don't know about you OP but every time during my life that something happened with the normal function of my dick it nearly destroyed my sense of identity

That might sound dramatic but I'm a dramatic person and, like most men, my maleness is hugely tied up in how virile I feel. Being able to satisfy a woman is huge part of that.

The second time was a phase of premature ejaculation and I honestly don't know if I felt better or worse than not being able to get it up.

Both are shit because it's embarrassing.

Have you looked into what might be behind it? Both times for me it was a phase that had an underlying cause. Once understood it was a matter of working through it.

Trust women when they tell you it's ok.

Do some research into what you can do for yourself. Have a plan about that you can do for her.

See your doctor.

Best of luck."

Such an honest and well thought out reply....we've meet guys who on the night couldn't preform and we felt so bad for them tried to reassure them that it didn't matter to us, that it happens to the best etc...not sure if it made much difference tbh so that's why it's important for other guys to speak out...it happens to most guys at least once.....and when women say it's OK please believe them because most understand that if we had to get a physical erection everytime quite a few meets would go wrong...a lot of women including myself don't always orgasam on a first meet but nobody classes it as a disaster (Mrs _avie t

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *P_80Man
20 weeks ago

Waterford

The riding part doesn't have to be the whole show.

That's all I'll say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nickerDropperGlory69Man
20 weeks ago

cavan town

Firstly, fab can be a difficult place for single guys (before anyone gets mad at me, this is not a "boo hoo poor me" post my be at all. I'm happy here and have been quite lucky.) But its just my take...

Fab is a fantastic community of people who can let loose, be themselves, explore aspects of themselves that they otherwise may never get to explore. They can be as broad or narrow in their list of "wants" or "requirements" in regards to what they are looking for. And that is the way it should be.

A lot of these requirements, however, do alienate the majority of men. Not saying its wrong, it absolutely isn't. Everyone is entitled to go after their desires.

E.g someone looking for a 6ft2+ guy with a 7in+ dick who goes to the gym regularly and can go for hours, maybe makes up just 1% of guys here. Putting pressure on the majority of lads here leading to feelings of inadequacy.

In summary, I think you need to be comfortable in your own skin on here or it will do you no favours. Not lasting long happens to the best of us. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. And I'd be dubious of the people who need to "take the piss" about other people's concerns.

That's a lot of words. I'm done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbles00Man
20 weeks ago

Area 54

I agree with most of that but speaking for myself I'm totally happy with how I look, my cock size, my lasting times etc as I'm sure alot of guys are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ursecretmischiefCouple
20 weeks ago

The West

Ah sur look, all you can do is your best!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *man1044Man
20 weeks ago

North Galway

Nothing lasts long nowadays and no fixng if they blow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igad999Man
20 weeks ago

wolverhampton

It’s all about how quick the recovery time is and what you do in between to keep the lady satisfied

Finger oral and toy play in between keeps the wife on edge and certain things such as oral and cleanup get me back up quicker than other things

But main thing is focus on the other person to keep them satisfied

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xcited And CuriousCouple
20 weeks ago

Dublin

Mr here.

Probably obvious, but the man focusing or fixating on ED or PE when it happens could prolong the issue.

I'm extremely lucky (for now) - like a teenager seeing a tit on TV while watching a show with my parents, I still struggle to keep my erections down. And long may this last.

On the very rare occasion that I haven't gotten to 100% hard, it's been obvious to us both what the issue is - something relational (an issue related to baggage carried from a past relationship).

My love-making style / preference has always been to prioritise focusing on the woman. Not necessarily in a gallant or gentlemanly sense (though I'm told I'm a "generous" lover), but I seem to get harder when I sense the woman's state of arousal surging.

Porn seems forever to have been focused of the dick, on the blowjob, on the cumshot, and I watch my fair share of porn, but this doesn't reflect what sex / intimacy is for me. Not sure if there's a name or description for it, but pleasuring a woman seems to make me harder than having her pleasure me. This is clearly psychological rather than physiological.

Perhaps ED or PE issues could be resolved or reduced if focus on the man's pleasure is reduced and the woman's (non-penetrative) pleasure is prioritised?

Do women who experience a man's ED or PE issues feel responsible? Is it always the man's issue?

We saw a man at a Vanilla event struggle to get hard in the glass room while a woman was doing her best oral to make it happen. Was she just not his type, where he simply wasn't aroused by her?

For me it needs far more than the physical sensations of sucking or stroking, etc. to be aroused (physically or psychologically). The flirting and teasing and humour and playfulness and dirty talk and sexy clothes - all of this is so important before I even get into the bed.

Regarding the penis feeling like our identity - I 100% get this. I'm not sure how my mojo would fare if I lost my horn. I'd still be an employee, friend, dad, brother, etc., but it's probably fair to say that any man on fab is a highly-sexed man, so losing the sexual function would make a significant dent into my sense of self if not identity as a generous lover who greatly values and prioritised sexual intimacy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asual777Man
20 weeks ago

i travel all over

The squeeze method absolutely works

When you feel almost ready to cum, squeeze the end of your penis where the head joins the shaft. Keep squeezing for several seconds until the urge to ejaculate passes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"I don't know about you OP but every time during my life that something happened with the normal function of my dick it nearly destroyed my sense of identity

That might sound dramatic but I'm a dramatic person and, like most men, my maleness is hugely tied up in how virile I feel. Being able to satisfy a woman is huge part of that.

The second time was a phase of premature ejaculation and I honestly don't know if I felt better or worse than not being able to get it up.

Both are shit because it's embarrassing.

Have you looked into what might be behind it? Both times for me it was a phase that had an underlying cause. Once understood it was a matter of working through it.

Trust women when they tell you it's ok.

Do some research into what you can do for yourself. Have a plan about that you can do for her.

See your doctor.

Best of luck."

Fair play for such an open honest answer. A very vulnerable and exposed place to be, but as you said communication is key in any situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

Fair play for such an open honest answer. A very vulnerable and exposed place to be, but as you said communication is key in any situation. "

That's what it seems like when your in the middle of it but the fact is that it's a completely normal thing to happen in a man's life and there's no reason it should feel so devastating or be so hard to talk about.

My experiences lasted a couple of month's and I was lucky to be around people I could say it to.

It can go on longer for some guys and maybe it's possible to shorten that if the world was a little less toxic when it comes to men's health discussion.

Once you get to a certain age it becomes totally normal for a woman to say she might not orgasm the first time or might need lube or extended foreplay.

We're our own worst enemies sometimes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adger BrocMan
20 weeks ago

Co. Cork

"How important is it too ladies and how long ideally should a man last I know I’ve posted this before and men that can last usually take the piss but it is very frustrating and can get men down that ejaculate quick what can slow the excitement down "

...

Is it actually piss that they are taking.....

That's the real question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rRiosMan
20 weeks ago

dublin

Thought this was going to be another Cheltenham thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *njco64Man
20 weeks ago

Tipperary

I think if your concentrating on lasting your not thinking about the right things last thing you need to do is get inside your partner it’s about everything before that moment but if you’re partner wants you inside straight away and more ie round 2 then it’s what you both enjoy during the recovery that can be amazing and you can enjoy being inside until your both satisfied

Just my humble opinion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread