FabSwingers.com forum: Fab etiquette.

By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

When someone email a couple or female. They get opened and it is as easy tell the person not interested or not your type . Be honest the best way. Open message and delete it’s so rude. Just be straight as life tell people like it is

wjat does people think, I love hearing a reply.

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By *electableicecreamMan
16 weeks ago

The West

This is a very common post. And it's understandable that you would want a reply.

That's not the culture on fab though. If you don't get a reply, that is a reply. It means they are not interested.

I'd say just get used to it or get used to it. That's fab.

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By *iscuits8Man
16 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Been done to death on the forums now. There are people who get hundreds of messages here. Nobody owes you a reply... to (possibly paraphrase) a popular saying on here - "no reply, is a reply"

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By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

Na I dont, when u accept it becomes a thing .

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By *exyScientistsCouple
16 weeks ago

Castlebar

I do usually reply. The problem with replying is that often guys ggink that a "no thanks" is the start of a conversation which means just having to keep deleting repeat messages.

Also you don't have a profile picture and as it says in our profile we don't reply to those. If someone messages us and they haven't read our profile then we just delete them.

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By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

FairPlay sexy cpl . It can happen aswell.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Easy to say when ye aren’t getting the likes of “fuck now “ and “ show me your pussy “ . I often say no thanks and then I’m abused or they beg for a chance like I’m a merry go round . We have no obligation to answer or owe anyone anything

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By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

That’s another thing wow sorry to hear hallows.

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By *og-ManMan
16 weeks ago

somewhere

"Na I dont, when u accept it becomes a thing ."

So you don't accept a woman's right to not send a reply

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By *hePixieAndTheBearCouple
16 weeks ago

Galway

Etiquette is reciprocal. If someone can't be bothered reading our profile in the first place and seeing that they're not what we're looking for, we don't feel like we owe them a reply.

It's either that, or reactivating message filters which we'd rather avoid as it'd prevent some friendly people met at socials from reaching out.

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By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

[Removed by poster at 08/03/25 11:51:33]

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By *andyguy1000 OP Man
16 weeks ago

dunleer

This is a another reason us guys can be gobshites.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
16 weeks ago

Castlebar

🙄

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By *ueen_MeadhbhWoman
16 weeks ago

sligo

When I get a message and I'm not interested I'm very rarely reply. Why well first off no reply is a reply. 2nd the amount of abuse I have received over the years it's amazing how many open their message telling me how sexy, gorgeous, beautiful and when I reply slaying no thanks. I'm now fat, ugly, a cow, a whale a cxxt etc

So if you message and don't get a reply. Make a note on the profile and move on

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By *adger BrocMan
16 weeks ago

Co. Cork

"This is a another reason us guys can be gobshites."

....

Guys recognising their gobsh1t behaviour would be a start.

Not behaving like one should be their ultimate goal.

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By *affa31Woman
16 weeks ago

Galway

No reply is a reply. If I’m interested, I’ll reply.

I don’t reply to the spam mail I get to my normal mailbox, why would I reply to the spam mail I get on here 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *arcus1041Man
16 weeks ago

Navan

Hi thats totally right

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By *iscuits8Man
16 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

I don’t reply to the spam mail I get to my normal mailbox

I do, and you should... some German bloke is sending me €8m in bitcoin which I'm just waiting on to land in the account. He seems sound 🤝

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By * DareCouple
16 weeks ago

galway

I don’t reply to the spam mail I get to my normal mailbox

I do, and you should... some German bloke is sending me €8m in bitcoin which I'm just waiting on to land in the account. He seems sound 🤝"

🤣🤣🤣

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By *affa31Woman
16 weeks ago

Galway

I don’t reply to the spam mail I get to my normal mailbox

I do, and you should... some German bloke is sending me €8m in bitcoin which I'm just waiting on to land in the account. He seems sound 🤝"

Jaysus pass him my details good man

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By *rAndMrsRightCouple
16 weeks ago

newtownabbey

"When someone email a couple or female. They get opened and it is as easy tell the person not interested or not your type . Be honest the best way. Open message and delete it’s so rude. Just be straight as life tell people like it is

wjat does people think, I love hearing a reply."

*Well, you're a fat cunt anyway and I only messaged you because I feelt sorry for you.

*You're only good for cock sucking anyway.

*Your transition went wrong.

*Good luck finding anyone who wants to fuck her.

*Time wasters

We have received messages like this and many many more variations of them after saying a polite "no thanks".

Would you like to receive those kinds of messages OP? Would you reply to strangers if there was a high probability of you receiving such messages after being polite? 🤔

Missus

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By *exyScientistsCouple
16 weeks ago

Castlebar

I don’t reply to the spam mail I get to my normal mailbox

I do, and you should... some German bloke is sending me €8m in bitcoin which I'm just waiting on to land in the account. He seems sound 🤝"

Hey you

😘

Msg me 🤑🤑

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By *ursecretmischiefCouple
16 weeks ago

The West

wjat does people think, I love hearing a reply."

To be honest OP you are just viewing this from your angle.

- This place is full of abusive arseholes that aren't worth a breath. Women, in particular, complain about it all the time.

- People who think a polite "No thank you" is a conversation starter.

- Stupid profiles with no pictures, information, verifications etc.

- People messaging with a "Hey". What are you supposed to do with that "Hey back".

Take it as a rule on Fab that No reply is a Reply!

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By *electableicecreamMan
16 weeks ago

The West

"Na I dont, when u accept it becomes a thing ."

It's already a thing.

Good luck with it!

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By *lternative lifestyleCouple
16 weeks ago

Louth

Unless we know the person/s or why they have messaged we just delete the message without opening it. Not 1 person in here "owes" anyone else any explanation how they use fab or why!

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

If you know they are not interested, why do you need that "no thank you" message?

There about 100 single men on here per woman. Off you're message filters allow men to message you, you're whole fab experience becomes 90% messaging people "no thanks".

In my experience that message nearly always either provokes a rude response, or leads to someone trying to demand I explain why.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

"If you know they are not interested, why do you need that "no thank you" message?

There about 100 single men on here per woman. Off you're message filters allow men to message you, you're whole fab experience becomes 90% messaging people "no thanks".

In my experience that message nearly always either provokes a rude response, or leads to someone trying to demand I explain why. "

I agree. If you reply it's an in for them to start a conversation.

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By *ustBoWoman
16 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Nah I use to reply then it just seemed to open a gateway for the other person to keep messaging. Even if you change your filters they can still message.

I've told people I wasn't interested in meeting them from the the very start in the past they said they would be happy just to chat as they didn't get replies so I did and then all that happened with most of those people was because I chatted for a short while they expected that I would them meet them and on the odd occasion got called a timewaster etc even I pointed out that I told them at the start I wasn't interested in meeting them. So now I don't bother to reply.It says clearly on my profile I'm not meeting anyone new at present and that I am not interested in chatting either. So if someone messages me and doesn't get a reply that's their own fault. It's not because I get a load of messages either as I have filters tighter than a ducks ass.

I actually do not understand why people don't just delete their sent messages instead of constantly checking them and getting annoyed because they don't get a reply. It's what I have do when I send a first message then if I get a reply great if not it doesn't bother me.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
16 weeks ago

Newry

1. The site FAQs address this. It's a pity more don't read this and take it on board - no reply is a reply.

2. A refusal often offends. "No thanks" can be met with a barrage of insults and abuse. No-one is a mind reader and can predict when this will happen. I've had the loveliest, most eloquent messages from people who, in their profile, claim to be polite, mannerly and respectful yet, when I've said no thanks, have told me I'm a fat cunt and they wouldn't touch me with a barge pole (and several versions thereof).

3. Replying to messages to say no thanks means that if, at a time in the future, you filter out a particular demographic, those you've messaged previously -even to say no thanks - can bypass the filter.

4. For those that get many messages, spending all their time on here replying to multiple people saying no thanks hinders making and strengthening connections with those they actually ARE interested in. After all, that's why people are here, not for endless admin.

5. Replying no thanks time and time again is monotonous, soul destroying and sucks the life clean out of you.

6. People who get many many messages can use up their message allowance by just replying no thanks to everyone they're not interested in.

7. People "read" profiles and either

a) only see what they want to see, or

b) decide they're the exception to the rule, or

c) take a shot regardless of what you're looking for

Why take the time to reply to people who disregard your preferences?

8. It's blatantly obvious they've not read your profile. See above.

9. Hi.

10. See point 1 because it's worth repeating.

Think that covers most things

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By *Sparkie.Man
16 weeks ago

Ratoath

I think no reply is a message in itself.

Men outweight women n couples 50 to 1 I reckon, nobody has time to reply to all the messages they get.

There's a dating app that only allows the women to message the guys, they should trial it here for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

We delete the message if we reply back anything then they keep messaging. We even do it to people we are interested in we just add them to the hotlist for future lol

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
16 weeks ago

Portstewart

We always try to reply to every message but it can be a full time job keeping up with them unfortunately as they can get lost in the shuffle of new messages etc pushing someone down the list but we also stopped single males from messaging and it more than halved our workload

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By *ohnFKMan
16 weeks ago

Where the Streets Have No Name

"The site FAQs address this. It's a pity more don't read this and take it on board - no reply is a reply.

5. Replying no thanks time and time again is monotonous, soul destroying and sucks the life clean out of you.

6. People who get many many messages can use up their message allowance by just replying no thanks to everyone they're not interested in.

7. People "read" profiles and either

a) only see what they want to see, or

b) decide they're the exception to the rule, or

c) take a shot regardless of what you're looking for

Why take the time to reply to people who disregard your preferences?

8. It's blatantly obvious they've not read your profile. See above.

9. Hi.

10. See point 1 because it's worth repeating.

Think that covers most things"

This is a very comprehensive explanation. Well played.🙌

There you have it OP

No reply is not rude. Just clearly necessary.

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By *ancy38Woman
15 weeks ago

galway

wjat does people think, I love hearing a reply."

I used to reply to every msg but it became monotonous and quite often I'd get rude replies. Even getting called a slag and women of today needed a good slap. Now, I rarely open msgs from single males.

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By * DareCouple
15 weeks ago

galway

wjat does people think, I love hearing a reply.

Sorry you got those responses!! We would be the same. Often you get a rude response back which is not nice so don’t bother now. Don’t have the time either to be honest

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By *iscuits8Man
15 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

"and they wouldn't touch me with a barge pole"

I'd touch you with my barge pole

xox

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
15 weeks ago

Newry

"and they wouldn't touch me with a barge pole

I'd touch you with my barge pole

xox"

Well I'm glad to see we've moved on from kitchen utensils

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By *P_80Man
15 weeks ago

Waterford

I'll never understand why someone would want an elaboration on why they've been rejected.

I mean, it's obvious if the message isn't responded to that they're not interested.

Genuine question, What's the gain or benefit of a detailed reason why someone doesn't want to meet you?

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By *rAndMrsRightCouple
15 weeks ago

newtownabbey

"I'll never understand why someone would want an elaboration on why they've been rejected.

I mean, it's obvious if the message isn't responded to that they're not interested.

Genuine question, What's the gain or benefit of a detailed reason why someone doesn't want to meet you?"

Something tells me that OP will not respond to this or come back to his own thread at all...

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
15 weeks ago

Belfast

"I'll never understand why someone would want an elaboration on why they've been rejected.

I mean, it's obvious if the message isn't responded to that they're not interested.

Genuine question, What's the gain or benefit of a detailed reason why someone doesn't want to meet you?

Something tells me that OP will not respond to this or come back to his own thread at all... "

Yeah time after time the ones that are here to complain are the ones that could do with the education, but they don't really want it, or anything that doesn't fit their own narrative.

The guys who are active on these threads already know what the issues are and what they need to do to address it. So the message isn't getting through to the people who need it the most.

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
15 weeks ago

Belfast

And to clarify I mean the guys who are regular forum users.

I don't think anyone is wasting their time though...it's worth still trying to show the negative side, because these forums are searchable and it might be picked up by someone in the future

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By *sal 2020Man
15 weeks ago

foxrock

You come across as a very nice couple when you read your profile ! Great pictures

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By *ataWoman
15 weeks ago

Meh

"I do usually reply. The problem with replying is that often guys ggink that a "no thanks" is the start of a conversation which means just having to keep deleting repeat messages.

Also you don't have a profile picture and as it says in our profile we don't reply to those. If someone messages us and they haven't read our profile then we just delete them. "

Exactly this. I say no thank you and get a follow-up answer asking how I am. I try to remain polite, but it's quite annoying.

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By *avie tCouple
15 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

"I do usually reply. The problem with replying is that often guys ggink that a "no thanks" is the start of a conversation which means just having to keep deleting repeat messages.

Also you don't have a profile picture and as it says in our profile we don't reply to those. If someone messages us and they haven't read our profile then we just delete them.

Exactly this. I say no thank you and get a follow-up answer asking how I am. I try to remain polite, but it's quite annoying."
...First off filters are your friend we have single males blocked and when we want we do the looking I understand that may not work for single ladies who have single males as a preference but after the thanks but no thanks message block immediately then no follow up message is impossible its not rude to block someone that isn't what your looking for...Mrs _avie t

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By *avie tCouple
15 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

[Removed by poster at 10/03/25 13:41:31]

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By *avie tCouple
15 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

"[Removed by poster at 10/03/25 13:41:31]"
* possible (not impossible)

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
15 weeks ago

Belfast

"I do usually reply. The problem with replying is that often guys ggink that a "no thanks" is the start of a conversation which means just having to keep deleting repeat messages.

Also you don't have a profile picture and as it says in our profile we don't reply to those. If someone messages us and they haven't read our profile then we just delete them.

Exactly this. I say no thank you and get a follow-up answer asking how I am. I try to remain polite, but it's quite annoying....First off filters are your friend we have single males blocked and when we want we do the looking I understand that may not work for single ladies who have single males as a preference but after the thanks but no thanks message block immediately then no follow up message is impossible its not rude to block someone that isn't what your looking for...Mrs _avie t"

Filters are not suitable when the guys you are looking for fall into that bracket. There are some great ones in there but they are hard to find as most would put you off your breakfast the way they go on. You'd think they weren't actually looking for sex!

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By *xcited And CuriousCouple
15 weeks ago

Dublin

Mr here.

"Na I dont, when u accept it becomes a thing ."

It's already a thing - it's been the thing all along: no reply is a "no" reply. Pretty simple.

You not accepting it doesn't matter or change anything. Do you also not accept speed limits and no-smoking signs if you don't like them?

There are plenty of solid answers on this and the dozens of other threads on the subject.

For us, we do appreciate messages & winks, but our profile makes it clear that we're not into cams or chatting, and if a message doesn't include the magic word then no matter how complimentary it is, we may not delete, but we won't be replying.

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