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"I can’t say that I agree with men who act badly ruining it for other men. From my perspective, it makes the good men actually stand out. " I would definitely agree with that. | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡" It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it? | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡" m You can just use alpha male it’s ok  | |||
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"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way. Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. " Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification. I don't think it would solve anything. | |||
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"I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that. Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman? Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light? Is it a power trip? Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter? These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience) Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. " We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you  there are lots of Walter mittys on here | |||
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"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way. Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification. I don't think it would solve anything." That's a very fair point | |||
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"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way. Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification. I don't think it would solve anything. That's a very fair point" I get where you're coming from though. There is an issue with time wasters. Unfortunately there's not a whole lot that can be done. It's an inevitable part of the scene. | |||
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"I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that. Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman? Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light? Is it a power trip? Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter? These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience) Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you there are lots of Walter mittys on here "I also think some people find it difficult to say what what they think will be bad news to someone's face. They were decent enough to send a message instead of wasting your time the next time | |||
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Mrs crazy | |||
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"Been ghosted … gives fab a bad name" Nope, not the point of my original comment at all. It was a response to all those guys out there wondering why females can be a little curt in replies. And if it had been a one-off incident of being ghosted or stood up, like you implied, I wouldn't have started the thread. It's based on a number of such instances. But thanks for the reply. 🙄 | |||
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"As a cross dresser I can totally agree with the original poster. I often sat at home all dolled up and had a fire on, house heated, great selection of music, nice low lighting, candles etc red silk throws draped over my huge couch. And not even a text to say they won't arrive or something came up . Guys have even said they're on their way and no sign of them. It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows. "That's $hit that you've experienced this too. I'm sorry. Talking to a friend about it earlier & we both agreed that there are multiple reasons/scenarios as to why it happens. There are the narcissists out there whose time is clearly more valuable than mine or yours & they obvs found a better option at the last moment & it won. Then there are the weasels who are full of bravado & empty promises who then bottle it prior to meeting & don't have the balls to msg & bow out with manners. There are also the douchebags who get off on being pricks to other humans & enjoy screwing them over. Not forgetting the unfaithful liars who either found their conscience or couldn't escape the family & didn't give a damn about messaging. And that's just to name but a few. 😏 But hey, we live & learn. | |||
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"We havent met anyone from here in ages , we mostly meet people at parties , just so much easier than here ,i ( mrs ) thouggtnid give this a ho on here and try and meet people for coffee as i was looking for a solo meet , thd amount of mails we got we when put it on our profile was madness , out of all the mail , i had only 2 coffee meets , most just wanted to just play straight away ,or ghosted once i mentioned a social first, they think its dial - a - ride, i eventualy gave up , its too much work ,
Mrs crazy "I am howling so hard at the "dial-a-ride" comment. 😂🤣😂🤣😂 Hard relate!! Some guys do not understand the concept of a coffee social first at all. 🤦🏻♀️ | |||
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"That's essentially like saying #notallmen 🤦🏻♀️ " Aren't you essentially saying #allmen when you say that all men get a bad name because of the actions of a few? You've gone on to justify your 'curt' responses. Or did you mean #allwomen? I don't get curt responses. 🤷♀️ | |||
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"In all my time on here I've never had anyone waste my time or been ghosted, nor have I been stood up or even experienced a "no-show". Likewise I haven't transgressed in these things either. I would agree with you, OP, I am a thoroughly "decent bloke" with his moral compass intact. However let me make one thing clear: my success and fulfillment is down to my actions and deeds and not down to other men's failings. I carve my own path on here, extraneous to the actions - good or bad - of other men. There is no such thing as men ruining it for other men." Well, aren't you truly blessed that you haven't experienced the cruel & cowardly actions of another. | |||
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"I got Ghosted last week for the first time. I did see the red flags before hand. Was a verified lady from up north and was staying in castle Leslie 5 mins drive from me. So it’s not just men that don’t show up. " I'm sorry that you had this $hitty experience too. As I mentioned in my first post, I was referring to my experience with men. I never said women don't do it. I'm aware that they do.. The reason for my thread was to address the men who query/ponder/wonder why females can be short with them on Fab; & one of the main reasons is because of how we are often treated with such disregard as I noted above. | |||
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"That's essentially like saying #notallmen 🤦🏻♀️ Aren't you essentially saying #allmen when you say that all men get a bad name because of the actions of a few? You've gone on to justify your 'curt' responses. Or did you mean #allwomen? I don't get curt responses. 🤷♀️" Don't twist my words to suit your narrative, ok. I never once said "all men get a bad name". Oh, and good for you not being on the receiving end of curt responses. Clearly you're quite the anomaly. | |||
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"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way. Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. " I said something along those lines before of maybe a profile pic should be part of here ie a person should have a profile photo before being allowed to be a member, it would do away with all the blank dark shadows of profiles but it didn't really go down too well with some as in some said it was up to whoever had the profile blah blah blah blah , but the amount of those on their profile asking for a photo 1st without having any photos of any discription on their own is unreal tbh | |||
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"I(female)don't necessarily agree that it ruins it for everyone but it can put you off arranging a meet....it happened to me just last week I was actively seeking a single male had arranged the obligatory coffee meet i messaged twice on the morning confirming he answered confirming I messaged to say I had arrived he messaged to say sorry he'd been called in to work...now I'm on the scene quite a while so it won't stop me meeting in the future but yes it does put me off arranging another meet with someone new for a while....and that's why I rather parties" Ain't nice when it happens tbh , have taken time off Work for a morning meet cause mornings suited her better, drove a distance..then Zilch ..El Zippo..no show ..no notice.. nothing | |||
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"In all my time on here I've never had anyone waste my time or been ghosted, nor have I been stood up or even experienced a "no-show". Likewise I haven't transgressed in these things either. I would agree with you, OP, I am a thoroughly "decent bloke" with his moral compass intact. However let me make one thing clear: my success and fulfillment is down to my actions and deeds and not down to other men's failings. I carve my own path on here, extraneous to the actions - good or bad - of other men. There is no such thing as men ruining it for other men. · Well, aren't you truly blessed that you haven't experienced the cruel & cowardly actions of another. " • Blessings have nothing to do with it. Due diligence does. However, rest assured, for the sake of variety I've experienced my share of cowardly actions in other forms from women and couples on here. | |||
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"I(female)don't necessarily agree that it ruins it for everyone but it can put you off arranging a meet....it happened to me just last week I was actively seeking a single male had arranged the obligatory coffee meet i messaged twice on the morning confirming he answered confirming I messaged to say I had arrived he messaged to say sorry he'd been called in to work...now I'm on the scene quite a while so it won't stop me meeting in the future but yes it does put me off arranging another meet with someone new for a while....and that's why I rather parties Ain't nice when it happens tbh , have taken time off Work for a morning meet cause mornings suited her better, drove a distance..then Zilch ..El Zippo..no show ..no notice.. nothing " ....sorry to hear that....but I have a feeling we'll both get over it... | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡 It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?" It sounds like he prefers language to stay straightforward—male means male, and distinctions should only be made when necessary. That’s a reasonable stance, and why but an extra part to a word that already describes something? | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡 It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it? It sounds like he prefers language to stay straightforward—male means male, and distinctions should only be made when necessary. That’s a reasonable stance, and why but an extra part to a word that already describes something? " Conversely, why police the way anyone speaks or writes if you can understand what they say? Pedantry is rarely conducive to an amiable discourse. | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡 It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it? It sounds like he prefers language to stay straightforward—male means male, and distinctions should only be made when necessary. That’s a reasonable stance, and why but an extra part to a word that already describes something? Conversely, why police the way anyone speaks or writes if you can understand what they say? Pedantry is rarely conducive to an amiable discourse." Therefore point it out quickly. | |||
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"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡 It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it? It sounds like he prefers language to stay straightforward—male means male, and distinctions should only be made when necessary. That’s a reasonable stance, and why but an extra part to a word that already describes something? " Perhaps the OP is making a distinction though and that's why she used it. | |||
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"As a cross dresser I can totally agree with the original poster. I often sat at home all dolled up and had a fire on, house heated, great selection of music, nice low lighting, candles etc red silk throws draped over my huge couch. And not even a text to say they won't arrive or something came up . Guys have even said they're on their way and no sign of them. It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.
That's $hit that you've experienced this too. I'm sorry.
Talking to a friend about it earlier & we both agreed that there are multiple reasons/scenarios as to why it happens.
There are the narcissists out there whose time is clearly more valuable than mine or yours & they obvs found a better option at the last moment & it won. Then there are the weasels who are full of bravado & empty promises who then bottle it prior to meeting & don't have the balls to msg & bow out with manners. There are also the douchebags who get off on being pricks to other humans & enjoy screwing them over. Not forgetting the unfaithful liars who either found their conscience or couldn't escape the family & didn't give a damn about messaging. And that's just to name but a few. 😏
But hey, we live & learn. "Yes the narcissistic types, they're insidious. They do this thing called love bombing, where they shower someone with compliments and usually tell you what they're not. They're attentive and tell you what they think will lure you into their fucked up script that everyone else should go along with, they believe in it too. More than likely leaving devastated relationships and people in their wake. It's all about control with those fuckers. Zero respect or inner dialogue to realize that people can't see through their infintile games. I prefer subtle guys who are just being friendly, not too nosey and they're civil. I don't meet a whole lot and it's quality for me, then it's the guy who doesn't want me to verify him because he's afraid in case women won't meet him because he's coming across as straight, that's an insult but look if people don't want to be verified I can be okay with that. But when they say it's because they're embarrassed to be verified by a cross dresser that's just being a shit. Better to say, they're not into verification that's ok with me | |||
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"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows. Should be really "Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video | |||
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"I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that. Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman? Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light? Is it a power trip? Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter? These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience) Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you there are lots of Walter mittys on here "He was honest. He didn't lie, He didn't lead you on. Now you know he doesn't want to meet, so you can move on. | |||
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"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows. Should be really
Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video "Feckin singing that song all day now | |||
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"I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that. Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman? Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light? Is it a power trip? Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter? These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience) Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you there are lots of Walter mittys on here "Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷♂️ | |||
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"We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you there are lots of Walter mittys on here."· "He was honest. He didn't lie, He didn't lead you on. Now you know he doesn't want to meet, so you can move on" • Totally agree. I don't see anything wrong with that outcome; men - just like women - are permitted to change their minds or have second thoughts on the outcome of a coffee meet. A social is to ascertain if you connect or if there is any synergy or whatever; it's not a guarantee or prelude to sex. Can you imagine the thermonuclear fallout from women on here if a man had posted that same outcome: "Oooh, I chatted to a woman for weeks, we met for a coffee and when she arrived home she had the good grace to message me and tell me she was no longer interested ". The shock. The horror. The wench!  | |||
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"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows. Should be really
Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video
Feckin singing that song all day now
"Bucks fizz is an absolute ear worm lol Check out buck's fizz "piece of the action" , you'll never forget it | |||
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"I there are lots of Walter mittys on here Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷♂️" It's not his loss if he's not interested... He turned up and then realised that it wasn't for him. That is literally the purpose of a social meet. Ragging on a guy just because he's not interested in you screams entitlement. How dare he! | |||
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"I there are lots of Walter mittys on here Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷♂️ It's not his loss if he's not interested... He turned up and then realised that it wasn't for him. That is literally the purpose of a social meet. Ragging on a guy just because he's not interested in you screams entitlement. How dare he!" Exactly this. Everyone is allowed to change their mind,and to be slagging a man because he messaged after a social and said he didn't want to meet again is petty and entitled. And people wonder why they get ghosted,the entitled attitude probably has something to do with it as well. Say no and you'll be slagged off it seems. Pity fucks all round so | |||
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"These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience) Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. " We'll definitely bring it up at the next meeting of The Patriarchy | |||
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