FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosting, no-shows, ignoring, gaslighting

By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that.

Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman?

Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light?

Is it a power trip?

Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter?

These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on.

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By *affa31Woman
20 weeks ago

Galway

I can’t say that I agree with men who act badly ruining it for other men. From my perspective, it makes the good men actually stand out.

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By *ealitybitesMan
20 weeks ago

Belfast

I've never had a no show or been one but I don't agree that others are ruining anything for me. Only I can do that.

I'm also of the opinion that you can really only ghost someone you've actually met.

I'm not denying that any of this takes place and it's a shitty thing to do but at the same time everyone has the right to change their mind. Some people just aren't good with confrontation and take the easy option and say nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way.

Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended.

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By *ildarekinkstersCouple
20 weeks ago

kinkytown

"I can’t say that I agree with men who act badly ruining it for other men. From my perspective, it makes the good men actually stand out. "

I would definitely agree with that.

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By *ildarekinkstersCouple
20 weeks ago

kinkytown

Think we've been no showed or ghosted about three times in the last 18 months. I do think it's more apparent when a guy doe it though because there proportionatly there are more guys on the site then women or couples. Yeah it's a pain especially when you have limited time but it does make other guys look a lot better

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By *avie tCouple
20 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

I(female)don't necessarily agree that it ruins it for everyone but it can put you off arranging a meet....it happened to me just last week I was actively seeking a single male had arranged the obligatory coffee meet i messaged twice on the morning confirming he answered confirming I messaged to say I had arrived he messaged to say sorry he'd been called in to work...now I'm on the scene quite a while so it won't stop me meeting in the future but yes it does put me off arranging another meet with someone new for a while....and that's why I rather parties

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Most are in a state of heightened horniness on this talking and arranging and then reality sets in and the cold feet . Some are just down right assholes on here taking the piss . Let it go over your head if ye can cos who wants to meet anyone who can do that to them

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By *ollingwood69Man
20 weeks ago

Cork

Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡

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By *iscuits8Man
20 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

Aye I've had a couple of Fab no-shows myself, therefore going to be an absolute bollocks to all women on here from now on 🫡

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By *affa31Woman
20 weeks ago

Galway

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡"

It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡"
m

You can just use alpha male it’s ok

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

Sure lookit everyone needs a rant every now and again.

Sorry for your troubles OP

Personally I've always considered the wasters as lowering the bar rather than making it harder.

As it stands even the slightest bit of cop on, literacy and a photo without a dick in it has a decent chance of getting a reply.

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By *ueen_MeadhbhWoman
20 weeks ago

sligo

Hence why I've stopped looking to meet guys , just not worth the hassle anymore.

I've experienced it all on here and in vanilla life. Not sure what I do wrong.

Anyway it says more about the person that behaves that way so let's the rubbish take themselves out

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By *P_80Man
20 weeks ago

Waterford

"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way.

Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. "

Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification.

I don't think it would solve anything.

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By *ressthefleshCouple
20 weeks ago

portlaoise

"I regularly see on forums & status updates Cis males querying why us females can treat them with short sharp shrift here on Fab. Well, you can blame the men who ghost, no-show, lie, gaslight & entirely disrespect us for that.

Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman?

Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light?

Is it a power trip?

Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter?

These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. "

We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you

there are lots of Walter mittys on here

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way.

Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended.

Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification.

I don't think it would solve anything."

That's a very fair point

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
20 weeks ago

Cork

I've always believed that for some guys the most pleasure that they can receive is knowing they can meet someone, and less so actually meeting them. Or as it's more commonly phrased, some guys guys prefer the hunt.

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By *P_80Man
20 weeks ago

Waterford

"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way.

Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended.

Then you're putting pressure on people to go to socials when it might not be their thing, or worse, meeting people that they don't want to just to get a verification.

I don't think it would solve anything.

That's a very fair point"

I get where you're coming from though.

There is an issue with time wasters.

Unfortunately there's not a whole lot that can be done.

It's an inevitable part of the scene.

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By *eanRMan
20 weeks ago

Dublin 9

I don’t get it, if you’re chatting and get an opportunity to meet even for a coffee why mess the other about. I do also feel there’s lots of married men pretending to be single too so that may play a part for some of the time wasters.

But there are nice genuine men on here too, most of the people that I’ve chatted to are nice and respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I'm a married guy, wife doesn't know I'm on here. It is on my profile. But if I had arranged to meet someone and then for whatever reason I couldn't I would let the person know ASAP, it's the decent thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Any Man in there right mind would jump at the chance to meet you never mind even chatting to you. most be spam or the greatest dickhead on the planet .

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By *og-ManMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere

Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman?

Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light?

Is it a power trip?

Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter?

These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on.

there are lots of Walter mittys on here "

I also think some people find it difficult to say what what they think will be bad news to someone's face.

They were decent enough to send a message instead of wasting your time the next time

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By *razy-CplCouple
20 weeks ago

and surrounding areas

[Removed by poster at 07/03/25 16:15:11]

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By *razy-CplCouple
20 weeks ago

and surrounding areas

We havent met anyone from here in ages , we mostly meet people at parties , just so much easier than here ,i ( mrs ) thouggtnid give this a ho on here and try and meet people for coffee as i was looking for a solo meet , thd amount of mails we got we when put it on our profile was madness , out of all the mail , i had only 2 coffee meets , most just wanted to just play straight away ,or ghosted once i mentioned a social first, they think its dial - a - ride, i eventualy gave up , its too much work ,

Mrs crazy

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By *anUTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Rural

As a cross dresser I can totally agree with the original poster.

I often sat at home all dolled up and had a fire on, house heated, great selection of music, nice low lighting, candles etc red silk throws draped over my huge couch.

And not even a text to say they won't arrive or something came up . Guys have even said they're on their way and no sign of them.

They have the audacity to message me here a week or two later asking me how I am and am I busy, then when I don't respond in ten minutes.

Is everything ok ? I say do you remember the last time you never turned up or let me know you weren't available and I sat there all ready etc

No response for maybe two hours and some lame excuse and rince and repeat

I don't swim around in a goldfish bowl and have a 3 second memory span, I remember them not turning up or saying they're calling tomorrow night and disappearing for weeks

Because of this I only meet spontaneously, just say I'm online all dolled etc I'll be available for a meet, and swap numbers before they're ready to drive out. They won't swap numbers, as if I'm going to post their details and number on social media and tell people " hey everyone this dude is trying to hook up with me he's chasing cross dressers on fab swinger's... Who goes around telling their friends they're on fab swinger's hooking with people. I don't know anyone who has been outed or would out anyone for being on fab.

People usually respect people's anonymity and boundaries it goes without saying.

But the other side of the story too is some guys message when pissed or stoned and when I suggest I'm available oh sorry I can't I was on the charly, stoned or pissed, I'll definitely be up for it next Friday, Saturday evening after the following Friday, heya how are you, I'm going well thanks yourself. Are you horny, I say I'm available, sorry Hun I can't meet tonight I'm too d*unk... following weekend same rigmarole...

So I just said fuck this,I'm meeting spontaneously from now on, it possibly ruins it for the honest guys of integrity and man enough to turn up.

So I'm probably losing out there because of the messers here, so I have to take responsibility for that side of it too.

Don't get me started about the fellas who won't send a face picture, or let's meet in my car guy, he's another misfit

It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

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By *man1044Man
20 weeks ago

North Galway

Been ghosted … gives fab a bad name

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By *og-ManMan
20 weeks ago

somewhere

It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

Should be really

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By *ushin realityCouple
20 weeks ago

swords

My best friend is on dating sites exact same thing happens there,no difference at all.Its all very strange.Socials are great way to meet up or coffee socials. Best of luck Op hope things improve

Ber x

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

I can't reply to all of the comments individually - real life & all that.

I'm genuinely surprised though at how many people are excusing this $hitty behaviour. Or saying that because of it 'sure doesn't it make the good guys look even better'. Is that the yardstick we want to be using? Really? That's essentially like saying #notallmen 🤦🏻‍♀️

And no, being ghosted or stood up or screwed over isn't specific to Fab; it happens via every app or means of dating. This wasn't me having a pop at CIS males on Fab alone.

Finally, if this was a one-off happening I'd ignore it but it's not. And it doesn't just apply to me.

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"Been ghosted … gives fab a bad name"

Nope, not the point of my original comment at all. It was a response to all those guys out there wondering why females can be a little curt in replies.

And if it had been a one-off incident of being ghosted or stood up, like you implied, I wouldn't have started the thread. It's based on a number of such instances.

But thanks for the reply. 🙄

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"As a cross dresser I can totally agree with the original poster.

I often sat at home all dolled up and had a fire on, house heated, great selection of music, nice low lighting, candles etc red silk throws draped over my huge couch.

And not even a text to say they won't arrive or something came up . Guys have even said they're on their way and no sign of them.

It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

That's $hit that you've experienced this too. I'm sorry.

Talking to a friend about it earlier & we both agreed that there are multiple reasons/scenarios as to why it happens.

There are the narcissists out there whose time is clearly more valuable than mine or yours & they obvs found a better option at the last moment & it won. Then there are the weasels who are full of bravado & empty promises who then bottle it prior to meeting & don't have the balls to msg & bow out with manners. There are also the douchebags who get off on being pricks to other humans & enjoy screwing them over. Not forgetting the unfaithful liars who either found their conscience or couldn't escape the family & didn't give a damn about messaging. And that's just to name but a few. 😏

But hey, we live & learn.

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"We havent met anyone from here in ages , we mostly meet people at parties , just so much easier than here ,i ( mrs ) thouggtnid give this a ho on here and try and meet people for coffee as i was looking for a solo meet , thd amount of mails we got we when put it on our profile was madness , out of all the mail , i had only 2 coffee meets , most just wanted to just play straight away ,or ghosted once i mentioned a social first, they think its dial - a - ride, i eventualy gave up , its too much work ,

Mrs crazy

I am howling so hard at the "dial-a-ride" comment. 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Hard relate!! Some guys do not understand the concept of a coffee social first at all. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Mayfair

In all my time on here I've never had anyone waste my time or been ghosted, nor have I been stood up or even experienced a "no-show". Likewise I haven't transgressed in these things either.

I would agree with you, OP, I am a thoroughly "decent bloke" with his moral compass intact. However let me make one thing clear: my success and fulfillment is down to my actions and deeds and not down to other men's failings. I carve my own path on here, extraneous to the actions - good or bad - of other men. There is no such thing as men ruining it for other men.

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

"That's essentially like saying #notallmen 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aren't you essentially saying #allmen when you say that all men get a bad name because of the actions of a few?

You've gone on to justify your 'curt' responses. Or did you mean #allwomen?

I don't get curt responses. 🤷‍♀️

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By *om TangoMan
20 weeks ago

aughnacloy monaghan area

I got Ghosted last week for the first time. I did see the red flags before hand. Was a verified lady from up north and was staying in castle Leslie 5 mins drive from me. So off I headed on my 5 mins drive drive. Texted to say I’m outside the castle and no answer. She was there alright because she showed up on who’s near. So I sit for about 5 minutes. Another man pulls up over the street. Now I’m thinking she is playing more than me so after 11 mins waiting I head my 5 min drive back home. When home I put up on my status “local men don’t waste your time with blueeyes as she would come out to meet you” low and behold I get a message from another fella saying where she is staying and he also headed to meet her. She had 3 verifications. In all 3 verifications the men said “Pitty I hadn’t more time to spend with you” so my reading is that they couldn’t wait to get away from her. So it’s not just men that don’t show up.

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"In all my time on here I've never had anyone waste my time or been ghosted, nor have I been stood up or even experienced a "no-show". Likewise I haven't transgressed in these things either.

Well, aren't you truly blessed that you haven't experienced the cruel & cowardly actions of another.

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"I got Ghosted last week for the first time. I did see the red flags before hand. Was a verified lady from up north and was staying in castle Leslie 5 mins drive from me.

So it’s not just men that don’t show up. "

I'm sorry that you had this $hitty experience too.

As I mentioned in my first post, I was referring to my experience with men. I never said women don't do it. I'm aware that they do..

The reason for my thread was to address the men who query/ponder/wonder why females can be short with them on Fab; & one of the main reasons is because of how we are often treated with such disregard as I noted above.

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By *iery Female OP Woman
20 weeks ago

Louth

"That's essentially like saying #notallmen 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aren't you essentially saying #allmen when you say that all men get a bad name because of the actions of a few?

You've gone on to justify your 'curt' responses. Or did you mean #allwomen?

I don't get curt responses. 🤷‍♀️"

Don't twist my words to suit your narrative, ok.

I never once said "all men get a bad name".

Oh, and good for you not being on the receiving end of curt responses. Clearly you're quite the anomaly.

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 08/03/25 00:36:23]

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
20 weeks ago

Newry

I try to not allow the actions of others have an impact on how I interact with people unrelated to that situation. Each individual is a fresh start. That's not to say that I don't learn from situations where things haven't gone according to plan - that would be naive. But then again my job is customer facing so I get loads of practice at this

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"Personally I think all profiles should at least have to be photo verified before being allowed to engage. It might help out those who are only here to fuck people about, and not in a good way.

Then if not meet verified within a certain time frame, ie, social at least the profile should be suspended. "

I said something along those lines before of maybe a profile pic should be part of here ie a person should have a profile photo before being allowed to be a member, it would do away with all the blank dark shadows of profiles but it didn't really go down too well with some as in some said it was up to whoever had the profile blah blah blah blah , but the amount of those on their profile asking for a photo 1st without having any photos of any discription on their own is unreal tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"I(female)don't necessarily agree that it ruins it for everyone but it can put you off arranging a meet....it happened to me just last week I was actively seeking a single male had arranged the obligatory coffee meet i messaged twice on the morning confirming he answered confirming I messaged to say I had arrived he messaged to say sorry he'd been called in to work...now I'm on the scene quite a while so it won't stop me meeting in the future but yes it does put me off arranging another meet with someone new for a while....and that's why I rather parties"

Ain't nice when it happens tbh , have taken time off Work for a morning meet cause mornings suited her better, drove a distance..then Zilch ..El Zippo..no show ..no notice.. nothing

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By *lternative lifestyleCouple
20 weeks ago

Louth

Hi hun! Come with us to Belfast and you have the April event coming up too. You cannot fix what's broken! So all you can do is change your approach, go to nice socials, make real connections with nice people you like and meet them then up later.

Xx A

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By *ornywife20Couple
20 weeks ago

North Cork

We have had our share of no shows from seemingly well verified couples . Arrange meets chatting for days before hand even up to a few hours beforehand. Then silence , might get the usual message a day or too later oh we got sick the dog ate my car keys. These things can happen but have the decency to send a shot message.

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By *eroLondonMan
20 weeks ago

Mayfair

"In all my time on here I've never had anyone waste my time or been ghosted, nor have I been stood up or even experienced a "no-show". Likewise I haven't transgressed in these things either.

Well, aren't you truly blessed that you haven't experienced the cruel & cowardly actions of another. "

•

Blessings have nothing to do with it. Due diligence does.

However, rest assured, for the sake of variety I've experienced my share of cowardly actions in other forms from women and couples on here.

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By *izzKathrynWoman
20 weeks ago

Drogheda

I think attending socials defo solves alot of problems. Majority of people I have met has been socials etc. Maybe i'm really lucky as I haven't had a no show. I have realised alot are spoken for here so maybe can't *get out* to attend the social etc. There is good people too, maybe head to DV8 socials or plenty of others and meet people in person x

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By *avie tCouple
20 weeks ago

otherside of nowhere

Ain't nice when it happens tbh , have taken time off Work for a morning meet cause mornings suited her better, drove a distance..then Zilch ..El Zippo..no show ..no notice.. nothing "
....sorry to hear that....but I have a feeling we'll both get over it...

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By *he boy next door300Man
20 weeks ago

MAGHERAFELT

I've had my fair share if ghosting and ignoring. Sometimes get a hi! And then nothing. Personally, u would live it if those not interested would just block me instead of leaving me hanging on to a what if??

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By *ustBoWoman
20 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Personally I seem to have been very lucky and never had a no show when I was meeting. Had one guy who went quiet the morning of a meet and as he had been online I messaged him and canceled the meet (it was just a social) I suspected he got a better offer. He messaged me about an hour after we had been due to meet and asked would I still meet up and I asked had he been stood up by his plan A he admitted yes he had .And no I didn't go to meet him after because I'm not anyone's plan b and because he had no intention of messaging me to tell me he had decided to meet someone else and had been willing to just let me go there and he not show up. That's the closest I came to a no show .

Why people do it I don't know. I'm sure some will justify reasons as to why they don't show up. But everyone is an adult and sending a message to say they are going to show up is the decent thing to do. It's seems to be just a prevelant right across fab though rather than just men doing it. And it shouldn't be a reason to treat others badly,just because someone else has been a gobshite before. I would and do prefer just not to reply rather than be nasty to someone because of what others have done.

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By *ionycusMan
20 weeks ago

Babylon

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡

It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?"

It sounds like he prefers language to stay straightforward—male means male, and distinctions should only be made when necessary. That’s a reasonable stance, and why but an extra part to a word that already describes something?

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By *electableicecreamMan
20 weeks ago

The West

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡

It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?

Conversely, why police the way anyone speaks or writes if you can understand what they say?

Pedantry is rarely conducive to an amiable discourse.

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By *ionycusMan
20 weeks ago

Babylon

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡

It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?

Conversely, why police the way anyone speaks or writes if you can understand what they say?

Pedantry is rarely conducive to an amiable discourse."

Therefore point it out quickly.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
19 weeks ago

Newry

"Seriously allergic to that word Cis.....I know I'm giving it fuel by even typing it but OMFG 😡

It’s a scientific word…why are you so triggered by it?

Perhaps the OP is making a distinction though and that's why she used it.

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By *elaxed_rendezvousMan
19 weeks ago

derry

Never understood why anyone would just no show. Like what’s the point you are also wasting your own time in the build up … as for outright saying I’m not interested, in the past I have tried to carry on the conversation as to not hurt anyone’s feeling and let the convo die out but in all honesty I think that was wrong of me as it kind of led people on when something wasn’t going anywhere. More recently I’ve tried to be more direct, but it’s not easy as I don’t want to hurt feelings lol

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By *anUTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Rural

"As a cross dresser I can totally agree with the original poster.

I often sat at home all dolled up and had a fire on, house heated, great selection of music, nice low lighting, candles etc red silk throws draped over my huge couch.

And not even a text to say they won't arrive or something came up . Guys have even said they're on their way and no sign of them.

It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

That's $hit that you've experienced this too. I'm sorry.

Talking to a friend about it earlier & we both agreed that there are multiple reasons/scenarios as to why it happens.

But hey, we live & learn. "

Yes the narcissistic types, they're insidious.

They do this thing called love bombing, where they shower someone with compliments and usually tell you what they're not. They're attentive and tell you what they think will lure you into their fucked up script that everyone else should go along with, they believe in it too.

More than likely leaving devastated relationships and people in their wake.

It's all about control with those fuckers.

Zero respect or inner dialogue to realize that people can't see through their infintile games.

I prefer subtle guys who are just being friendly, not too nosey and they're civil.

I don't meet a whole lot and it's quality for me, then it's the guy who doesn't want me to verify him because he's afraid in case women won't meet him because he's coming across as straight, that's an insult but look if people don't want to be verified I can be okay with that.

But when they say it's because they're embarrassed to be verified by a cross dresser that's just being a shit.

Better to say, they're not into verification that's ok with me

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By *anUTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Rural

"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

Should be really

Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video

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By *antra MassageMan
19 weeks ago

Galway

Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman?

Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light?

Is it a power trip?

Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter?

These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on.

there are lots of Walter mittys on here "

He was honest.

He didn't lie,

He didn't lead you on.

Now you know he doesn't want to meet, so you can move on.

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By *ily the firstWoman
19 weeks ago

Happened to me multiple times… most of them canceled at the last minute rather than just not showing up, but still—such a waste of time!

Why? Well, who knows…

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By *og-ManMan
19 weeks ago

somewhere

"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

Should be really

Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video

Feckin singing that song all day now

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By *oldByMarCouple
19 weeks ago

playa de ingles / outa da west

Are these truly awful men, who are behaving in such a $hitty manner, so damn spineless that they can't muster up the courage & decency to say "Yeah, I'm not interested. Sorry." to a woman?

Have any of you men on these forums ever acted in this way & wish to shed some light?

Is it a power trip?

Do they get some sick buzz from arranging a coffee meet/play date/whatever & then never following through? Or actually having the meet & ghosting thereafter?

These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on.

there are lots of Walter mittys on here "

Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷‍♂️

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By *eroLondonMan
19 weeks ago

Mayfair

"We had a coffee meet a few nights ago with a guy we have been chatting to for awhile the meet went well he asked about meeting again and organising something we said yes as soon as we got home a message from him saying sorry I'm not interested in you

there are lots of Walter mittys on here."

"He was honest. He didn't lie, He didn't lead you on. Now you know he doesn't want to meet, so you can move on"

•

Totally agree. I don't see anything wrong with that outcome; men - just like women - are permitted to change their minds or have second thoughts on the outcome of a coffee meet. A social is to ascertain if you connect or if there is any synergy or whatever; it's not a guarantee or prelude to sex.

Can you imagine the thermonuclear fallout from women on here if a man had posted that same outcome: "Oooh, I chatted to a woman for weeks, we met for a coffee and when she arrived home she had the good grace to message me and tell me she was no longer interested ". The shock. The horror. The wench!

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By *anUTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Rural

"It's not all sunshine lollips and rainbows.

Should be really

Lol frolicking through the land of make believe, life should be like a bucks fizz video

Feckin singing that song all day now

Bucks fizz is an absolute ear worm lol

Check out buck's fizz "piece of the action" , you'll never forget it

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By *electableicecreamMan
19 weeks ago

The West

"I there are lots of Walter mittys on here

Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷‍♂️"

It's not his loss if he's not interested...

He turned up and then realised that it wasn't for him. That is literally the purpose of a social meet.

Ragging on a guy just because he's not interested in you screams entitlement.

How dare he!

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By *ustBoWoman
19 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

"I there are lots of Walter mittys on here

Ah Well HIS Loss 🤷‍♂️

It's not his loss if he's not interested...

He turned up and then realised that it wasn't for him. That is literally the purpose of a social meet.

Ragging on a guy just because he's not interested in you screams entitlement.

How dare he!"

Exactly this. Everyone is allowed to change their mind,and to be slagging a man because he messaged after a social and said he didn't want to meet again is petty and entitled. And people wonder why they get ghosted,the entitled attitude probably has something to do with it as well. Say no and you'll be slagged off it seems. Pity fucks all round so

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"These are the men who are ruining it for you decent blokes out there. (I'm not getting into the "but women do it too" conversation. This applies to my experience)

Maybe have a word with them next time you're at your fraternal gathering & tell them to cop the f{¬z4A=¬}¢k on. "

We'll definitely bring it up at the next meeting of The Patriarchy

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By *aynersMan
19 weeks ago

Dublin

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