FabSwingers.com forum: The elephant(s) in the room

By *aybeLady OP Woman
17 weeks ago

West Dublin

I'm curious if this happens anyone else: do your siblings just simply ignore the rather significant things happening in your life?

2 of mine do. Totally fail to even mention/ask about them. They have 0 clue what's going on. We all talk & are on good terms, mostly. Have a family whatsapp group etc

We are talking about significant life challenges, not just everyday things. I get everyone has their own sh!t going on but I'm always agast at their lack of acknowledgement.

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By *s SingletWoman
17 weeks ago

Kilkenny

I'm one of 9 kids and I'm right in the middle , I get what your saying , three of my sisters meet regularly for lunches and catch ups I'd never even be asked , I've spent time in hospital for different reasons over the years and unless I update the family chat group no one ever asked and yes they are aware I'm in hospital and very unwell

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
17 weeks ago

Portstewart

My younger sibling only gets in touch with me when they are looking for something eg help doing something or looking for money

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

"My younger sibling only gets in touch with me when they are looking for something eg help doing something or looking for money "

This exactly.

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By *rystalsswingCouple
17 weeks ago

Galway / Midlands

From what I've read on your previous posts, you haven't been well.

My experience has been that serious sickness / anything really bad happening brings people closer for a while. Some people are there with you, even when you think they aren't ❤️

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I’m the youngest and I have very little contact with my siblings. We didn’t fall out, it’s just we are very different people, why do we feel like families should be like the Waltons. At least I’m honest, I watch my friends and the level of pretence that they go to, but they don’t mean it.

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By *izzKathrynWoman
17 weeks ago

Drogheda

I'm the youngest & only hear from siblings when they want something

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By *ueen_MeadhbhWoman
17 weeks ago

sligo

I just think some people don't know how to handle situations so they avoid the questions or talking about it, thinking it might upset the person.

Some people are just clueless to others also.

Reach out and ask them or talk to them about how you feel. It honestly could be just a matter of they not sure what to say

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By *ueen_MeadhbhWoman
17 weeks ago

sligo

There's a great book available on audible or hard copy called.

"Let them" by Mel Robbins I'm on my 2nd listen to it.

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By *exyScientistsCouple
17 weeks ago

Castlebar

I don't talk to my family from one week to the next. None of us have a clue really what's going on in each others lives on a day to day basis. Sometimes we don't even communicate about the big things...

I guess that's from living I different countries. I'm closer to my sister in law than anyone else and I know that I can rely on her for important info. Also she's the main person I get on with and communicate with. Most if my family just tell me random info over and over and have no interest in my life so I just ring out of courtesy now.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I have one sister, 5 years older than me. As kids we were really close, our parents were pretty much absent most of the time so we had to fend for ourselves and as a result had a great bond, she moved out the minute she hit 17, and as soon as she had a place sorted and a bit of stability came back for me and took me to live with her. I went travelling when I turned 19 and was away for the best part of 14 years, odd trip back to see her or she make the odd trip to see me, but we just drifted apart. It unfortunately happens, not like there was an event or an argument that caused an issue, we might see each other twice a year now if we our parents need medical decisions made. Both are very ill now, when I had kids I reconnected with them as I wanted my kids to know there grandparents, their totally different with my kids they would do anything for them and love having them around and spending time with them. You can't choose your family but can choose your friends, I consider my really close friends my family

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

"There's a great book available on audible or hard copy called.

"Let them" by Mel Robbins I'm on my 2nd listen to it.

I’m also on my 2nd listen of this

I put it on in the car all the time

To be quite honest I think I have adapted that theory with many years

Cut all unnecessary people and their bullshit out of my life years ago and it is just so brilliant m, the freedom is amazing

Maintain minimal contact with most of them now

And it just kills some of them not knowing what I’m doing, where I’m at in life etc

I just love it🤣🤣

Mostly only keep positive, genuine, funny and inspiring people around me now

Life is so much the better for it

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
17 weeks ago

Newry

"I just think some people don't know how to handle situations so they avoid the questions or talking about it, thinking it might upset the person.

I find this often to be the case, rather than lack of interest or care. Talking about difficult things is, for some, difficult

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By *allDarkHandsome101Man
17 weeks ago

City

Definitely, I work weekends. I’m never asked if I’m working. I’ll get a phone call of a Saturday morning. “Where are you? I need you to mind the kids?”. “Why didn’t you tell me you were working?” I’m sorry but I didn’t know you were landing with them.

And she doesn’t stay for a chat she drops and goes, and I get no thanks and doesn’t mention the fact I do spend my money feeding, going bowling, jumping jacks, the beach. I bring them everywhere and always have them doing stuff.

My main point is I look after the nieces and nephews and she barely asks how I am or getting on. Where as I always ask and always put myself out for her. I love the kids tho. Always have time for them!

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By *ORBCouple
17 weeks ago

Dundalk

[Removed by poster at 02/03/25 13:41:47]

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By *ORBCouple
17 weeks ago

Dundalk

I am very close with one of my siblings the other we contact each other the odd time. But we are there for each other if needed in tough times. Parents are well another matter they never really cared what was happening in my life,even from a young.

People are all different and like said above you have no choice in who your family are. And sometimes you have to realise that no matter how much you would like things to change you will never change the other people and the way they act.

You can just accept it and learn a way to accept things and not let it upset you anymore. Bo

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By *ueen_MeadhbhWoman
17 weeks ago

sligo

"There's a great book available on audible or hard copy called.

"Let them" by Mel Robbins I'm on my 2nd listen to it.

I’m also on my 2nd listen of this

I put it on in the car all the time

To be quite honest I think I have adapted that theory with many years

Cut all unnecessary people and their bullshit out of my life years ago and it is just so brilliant m, the freedom is amazing

Maintain minimal contact with most of them now

And it just kills some of them not knowing what I’m doing, where I’m at in life etc

I just love it🤣🤣

Mostly only keep positive, genuine, funny and inspiring people around me now

Life is so much the better for it

100% , I have definitely have adapted to this way over the last year, the difference of where I am to this time last year is anazing.

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast

I have 2 siblings, both younger than me.

They are very close and chat on the phone or meet for coffee most weeks without me.

I'm not good at keeping in touch with people anymore. I used to be and was always the one driving friendships and arranging meetups but I just burned out 20 years ago and never fully recovered from that.

I meet up with both siblings every couple of months to catch up on each others news but we are still very close and only a phone call away if needed.

They are always asking after my health as I do theirs and there are never any elephants in the room thankfully.

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By *aseylee324Couple
17 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

I have one older sibling, who is physically and emotionally distant from me. One or the other will phone every couple of months but it's more a duty call than anything. I rarely think of him outside of this and certainly wouldn't turn to him for any kind of support. In my head I'm essentially an only child - especially since I was left to deal with our parents by myself in their final years.

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By *aseylee324Couple
17 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

To me, it is what it is. Some people are unlucky enough to have siblings who are nothing but grief and drama.

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