FabSwingers.com forum: Nervous newbie

By (user no longer on site) OP
18 weeks ago

Nervous newbie more interested in events than one to one meets. Any tips/advice? Don't want to waste anyone's time meeting for verification when it's parties and events I'm most interested in.

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By *attooYouMan
18 weeks ago

just about northside

Hello nervous newbie. Regarding tips, try DV8 initially as a social and take it from there. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
18 weeks ago

Thanks for the tip

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
18 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

Many people are happy to meet up for a coffee and a chat without any expectation of play, just to get verified and enjoy someone else company. As long as you are up front that you aren't looking for 1 on 1 meets them you aren't wasting anyone else's time. Not all events need verification, but some do.

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By *udeishere24Man
18 weeks ago

Dublin

"Nervous newbie more interested in events than one to one meets. Any tips/advice? Don't want to waste anyone's time meeting for verification when it's parties and events I'm most interested in."

Check the forums for events page and there's another account with all the event details as well, you can to ones based on what you are looking for. Dv8 Dublin is a great free social to know the people in lifestyle Sundays are the best to go, if you don't want to be flooded with messages it's good to set a message filter, you can put on your bio what exactly you are looking for but despite that you may get a few messages too. Check out the forums for the events anyways.

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By *radseman.jayMan
18 weeks ago

allover

Best advice is stay on the forums till you get a feel for people after awhile you will figure out who's who

some great people on these. And if you need to know anything ask the ladies are they are brilliant with advice and they don't mind looking out for each other x Enjoy

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By *ubblyeveWoman
18 weeks ago

Tipp

Hey welcome only new back been years yes events are fantastic to meet and go from there. That way there is no pressure to be with anyone and new friends are made

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By *om TangoMan
18 weeks ago

aughnacloy monaghan area

"Many people are happy to meet up for a coffee and a chat without any expectation of play, just to get verified and enjoy someone else company. As long as you are up front that you aren't looking for 1 on 1 meets them you aren't wasting anyone else's time. Not all events need verification, but some do. "

I 2nd this. There are many of us here that actually enjoy meeting others for coffee and chats so please don’t think you’re wasting anyone’s time. Like said above. Just be upfront that it only a social coffee

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By *ofusplusCouple
18 weeks ago

Limerick

"and there's another account with all the event details as well, "

The profile is called ' Irish Events Listing '

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
18 weeks ago

Belfast

When I joined as a single female profile I didn't know about message filters. I was immediately swamped and the majority of messages were vile, treating me like a piece of meat. I was in tears and on the phone to my (then, new) partner because we'd agreed to explore me joining up. He was saying I'm so sorry I should have guessed this would happen. But he couldn't have known because solo male profiles don't have that experience. He coached me through the filters and I just stopped them all coming in for a while.

You can also get so fed up with male profiles that you can start to tar them all with the same brush and be defensive, which can leave you losing out on one or two good ones.

Then you start to develop a Fab thick skin.

You don't owe anyone a reply. Them messaging you is not an obligation to reply. Have personal rules. For me it is if they have no profile pic I don't even read it. (I'm a couples profile now but it still happens). Or if it's a dick pic profile I 99% of the time don't read it. I always check the profile first if I am thinking of replying. If it's low effort, no bio, only dick pics, someone who seems a twat, no reply.

Be clear on your bio what you want out of Fab and then when people try to do 1 on 1 meets anyway refer them to your clearly stated goals (or just block or delete).

Reach out on Forums for support and tips etc and keep an eye on events. There's loads going on, socials are the key to making things work for you.

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
18 weeks ago

Belfast

I hope its ok for me to say but I feel your username is like bait to the wolves. If you become a silver member you can change your username. Also you can filter messages to only other paid members and see the last 100 to view you.

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By *og-ManMan
18 weeks ago

somewhere

Meet someone for a coffee one to one male or female

Someone that goes to socials and is verified

They can fill you in and give you a veri to start off

I know it can be easier to get going as a single female but the initial start can feel a bit daunting but it can work out

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

Just to clarify there is no obligation on anyone even after coffee and no one should feel pressured. Walk away when you want . No one owes anyone a ticket to ride .

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By *INTMan
18 weeks ago

Minutes from Somewhere Else

"I hope its ok for me to say but I feel your username is like bait to the wolves. If you become a silver member you can change your username. Also you can filter messages to only other paid members and see the last 100 to view you. "

This is a great point, OP. Perhaps either change your username or create a new profile with something a little less likely to invite predatory asshats.

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
18 weeks ago

Belfast

Creating a new profile means they have to start again with the edit time to post in forums, but if they are happy enough with that then yes.

I think the filter to only receive messages from other silver members cuts out alot of the married ones.

This is a great point, OP. Perhaps either change your username or create a new profile with something a little less likely to invite predatory asshats. "

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
18 weeks ago

Belfast

Sorry that last post got messed up in formatting and I can't change it.

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By *man1044Man
18 weeks ago

North Galway

Totally agree Hallows.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
18 weeks ago

Thanks for all the tips and advice folks. Didn't even think about the username and what it may attract. The reassurance of the respect on the scene is good to know. Will also get to some socials.

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By *sBlueJayWoman
17 weeks ago

galway

There's a verified and unverified social on the 8th of March in sligo. Good few regulars goin to it there's a post on the forum about it.

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By *dfabMan
17 weeks ago

Dunboyne

Seems you're on here 4mths already. I'm sure you've figured out how it works? Or did you join sporadically and forget us for a while!

Anyways, yes socials, coffee, Meet n Greets best way to figure out the scene.

Most of all do enjoy it in your own fashion and Happy Fabbing

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