Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Ireland |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi all. Here a couple of months. Was wondering if any other relative newbies would like to have a get together. I’m sure for some meeting the more Experienced members is a bit intimidating So maybe get the new members together and build up a bit of spirit and go from there. " Experienced members are intimidating? In what way? I have found most experienced members lovely | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi all. Here a couple of months. Was wondering if any other relative newbies would like to have a get together. I’m sure for some meeting the more Experienced members is a bit intimidating So maybe get the new members together and build up a bit of spirit and go from there. Experienced members are intimidating? In what way? I have found most experienced members lovely" agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi all. Here a couple of months. Was wondering if any other relative newbies would like to have a get together. I’m sure for some meeting the more Experienced members is a bit intimidating So maybe get the new members together and build up a bit of spirit and go from there. " if no experienced are there newbies can't verify meeting you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think he probably meant that experienced members can seem intimadating to new members, i remember the first party i was at, was shitting myself for the first hour" I had the very opposite experience at my first social. The experienced members made me feel at ease straight away and got rid of any nerves I had. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The timing of the socials doesn’t suit everyone " Totally get that, dv8 run some daytime and midweek socials if they suit | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Would you answer a message from someone new? Great if so but most don’t. " It's not really going to improve when you're on a while either Read some forum threads about it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"All I’m asking is would newbies like to get together before going to the main socials The people at the main socials might be very receptive but try sending a message on here. Replies are minimal so new people just don’t know where they stand. " How would meeting up with new people improve your rate of getting messages answered though | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Was hoping some newbies would share an opinion but there is a good chance that they are also unsure about the forums. " Op there are plenty of threads on the forums to help with getting that initial coffee meet and places like dv8 run monthly event for newbies we have all been in the same shoes there are even help a fabber threads where members offer there help to get those unverified there first social meet. If you are trying to get a play meet in the first instance unfortunately that just doesn't happen. Your first verification is basically to let others know your a real person and worthy of a chance at meeting others and not some kind of person who is only after things that benefit themselves | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thanks for the feedback. But you are totally missing the point. As a relative newbie the letters DV8 Mean Nothing to me. I’m sure it’s a lot to you and you’re very comfortable. But spare a thought for people who signed up with no idea they were supposed to go to DV8 and make friends. " You don't have to go to dv8 ( a club in dublin) Op you asked for advice, and it has been given, if it's not the answers you want or needed unfortunately that's fab. A lot of people don't use the forums, a lot don't even know it exists. People are wear of newbies so sometimes won't reply especially if profile is blank. Just browse through the forums to see how many have got messed about etc. My advice is get involved on the forums, chat with people, it will fall right when it supposed to. And don't think everyone is ' experienced" on here, i attend socials and i still feel like a newbie and get nervous. As for parties only been to a few and don't play at the parties so again, not experienced as such | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So that gets back to my original point. Why don’t newbies get together ?" Firstly, whilst the OP doesn't put it across so well, I think he means that it is not the people that are intimidating, but it is the situation. We have all been to a club, a social or a meet for the first time and stepped into the unknown haven't we? Rightly or wrongly, my interpretation is that the OP is intimidated (if that is the right word) by the circumstances, not the people. Returning to the main point as quoted above... The main reason I would guess that newbies don't get together is that they are all in the same, rather nervous boat. More experienced swingers may feel comfortable in a swinging environment and bring others into the conversation/fun at a club or social, but inviting one into your home is fraught with the tension that comes from hoping that an unverified member will actually turn up. This is made worse by the fact that so many of us have been stood up by newbies , that some won't give a chance until said newbie proves they have the balls to turn up to something like a social or club. Before anyone jumps on me I said some, not all. With that in mind you can understand that, on balance, newbies would prefer to meet more experienced people that are guaranteed to turn up, than to meet with another newbie and be back to square one in no time at all. OP, I'm not going to waste your time or mine lecturing you about DV8 or socials, you'll either go or you won't. However, I will tell you that almost everyone will look at your profile before deciding to reply to any message. The smallest thing will turn people away. For instance, as a straight man you met a man a week ago. People will assume that's for a sexual meet as you aren't showing the verification saying something like 'met for a few pints, nice bloke'. Hopefully you can see the dichotomy there. Also noting that you can't accom; I'm not judging, but many will see that as a red flag indicating your cheating. Maybe expand on the reason why on your profile. Here's the really bad news. You'll soon be 50, so you will fall out of many search filters. Nothing you can do about it, but if you want to put your best foot forward, consider loading a face pic to your profile. I can see 11 pics of your dick, but in all honesty dick pics are either 99% the same or 1% exceptional. You might be proud of him, but he is in the majority I'm afraid. I will also add that other people generally do not want to see pics of your previous action, especially if they show the face of a woman that may not know there picture is on this site. It kind of flies in the face of discretion, which we all want. TLDR: Grow some balls and put yourself out there more online and in person, and stop moaning that no one gives you a chance that you are not prepared to earn. Good luck | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Was hoping some newbies would share an opinion but there is a good chance that they are also unsure about the forums. " On this specific point I would like to add that some newbies might feel unneasy about the forums, however it is more likely that they don't even know the forums exist. It's been a wile, but There was a thread that suggested that only 10% of profile holders ever venture into the forums, let alone activelly engage in them. Food for thought maybe. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I didn’t ask for advice. Have a look at my original post I’m trying to set something up for new people. " I have read your original post, and respect what you are trying to do. However, it is seldom that people learn anything new without the aid of an experienced teacher. Therefore ask yourself why newbies would want to join other newbies, instead of people that have met in this environment before. I think the answer would be that most people would prefer to meet with someone that has some experience to aid and guide them. In fact, several people have tried that on this thread already. I would also like to suggest that you take up on the previously proffered advice of pressing the +Quote button, as it makes the whole thread easier to follow and may get you more engagement from other newbies that are in a similar situation. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I didn’t ask for advice. Have a look at my original post I’m trying to set something up for new people. " And the answer that you got was that there are already really well organised events for new people I would suggest though that if you want to set up something for new people that you should do just that. Build it and they will come. Plan something, book a venue, publicise it here in the forum and invite the people who show interested. The thing about being a host is that they have their shit together and they gainv the trust and confidence of newbie's and the old school alike. That's when people turn up. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Who’s moaning? Your effort of a million words is impressive. Nice of you to take my profile apart - which I would never do to anyone - all I wanted to was see If I could create an atmosphere for unsure people. I’m unsure. I’m new. I’d probably Meet anyone. So what ? But thanks for proving my point. " I have not taken your profile apart, I have pointed out to you where you may increase your chances of a meet. I'm not sure how by providing advice from a more experienced person to a newbie I have proven your point. We do meet with newbies, and you are quite right that many don't. But surely in that case it might improve your chances if you were to learn from the more experienced people that have given you the time and effort of a reply in this thread? That way, you and the other newbies you are aiming your question at (that may not ever venture into the forum to see it) will benefit in the long term? Once again, Take care and good luck | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Wow. What are the events for new people. And who Goes ? There are really lots? " Try here: https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/ireland/1680236 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Also. You’re in England ….." Yes, but frequent visitors to home. We'll be back again in just under four weeks. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Your comments certainly haven’t felt constructive. More to the point you have come across as arrogant and nasty. Let’s see if what I’m proposing works. I won’t be letting you know either way. Maybe someone else will. " No worries. In the mean time, maybe you'd like to have a look at the profile page for DV8. They have a regular social on a Wednesday that may interest you. I won't write their address here, but they can be found easily on google maps. https://www.fabswingers.com/profile/dv8-dublin Best of luck whatever you decide on | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
If you don’t want advice in response to your question, don’t post on the forum OP.
And yes, you should look back over other threads. That’s why they’re stored and not deleted. It’s a resource, use it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi all. Here a couple of months. Was wondering if any other relative newbies would like to have a get together. I’m sure for some meeting the more Experienced members is a bit intimidating So maybe get the new members together and build up a bit of spirit and go from there. " It just takes one person to get it up and running. Once you have Date & Venue, Use the Meets & Events option to Post. And hopefully it will draw interest. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"An experienced member on the scene beat me up and took my lunch money. Thanks Linden. " Hahahaha good one hahahhaa | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"An experienced member on the scene beat me up and took my lunch money. Thanks Linden. " Linden you BAD BOY... 🫦 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
