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Inbox Etiquette

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By *INT OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Dublin

Curious about when/when not to send a follow up message (if at all).

I make the effort to craft individual messages for the folks I reach out to. If their profile asks for a face pic, I will send one (sometimes with auto remove). Dick pics are not my thing.

Now, I fully appreciate that no reply is itself a reply. Hence, if I don't get a reply I leave it at that & leave that person/couple alone.

However, it occurs to me that for some folks - women in particular - you get so many messages that you might have read the message & meant to reply but life got in the way & it fell through the cracks.

The obvious counterpoint to that is if my message was interesting enough, the receiver wouldn't have forgotten about it which, aside from an indictment of my writing skill, is why I don't ever send a follow up.

Except once I did...

And that follow up turned into a flurry of messages over days and nights, followed by a meet and heading in a generally positive direction.

Hence my conundrum. I have no desire to annoy people with a follow up message when they haven't replied but the one time I did, there was a benefit to us both.

For now, I'm going to stick with my policy of no follow ups but I'd very much like to hear the opinions of women on whether a follow up is ever warranted.

Are they?

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By *eordie.Woman
3 weeks ago

The Sticks

No

They're very annoying

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By *exyScientistsCouple
3 weeks ago

Castlebar

No need. If I might have an interest I will keep the message...

Then at some point I'll go through my inbox and either delete or message if I've an interest. It can take me a while to make a decision sometimes 🤣

Procrastination is my middle name

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By *electableicecreamMan
3 weeks ago

The West

Nothing to lose and everything to gain by sending a follow up

There's plenty of profiles that will even say that your message might get lost and to try again.

I'd wait a week or two, keep it to one more message and leave it at that.

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By *lternative lifestyleCouple
3 weeks ago

Louth

For us, unless we have met the person in real life those messages are instantly binned without looking, second message is a block. Or its a person/s engaged in an actual conversation we have spoken too already. Our decision was to only engage at socials or parties, it was the only solution to out the genuine from time wasters. Normal fab methods are fruitless.

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By *INT OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Dublin

Thanks for the replies. Will remain with current policy of no follow ups.

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
3 weeks ago

Northern Ireland


"Thanks for the replies. Will remain with current policy of no follow ups. "

I don't think you need to be so final on that. This week I had some bad news, I shut our profile down for a couple of days. The next wee while is going to be a struggle due to an ill family member. I decided that I need some fun in my life more now than ever so opened our profile back up again, but just haven't had the spoons to reply to anyone.

So life just gets in the way. Ignored messages aren't always because the person isn't interested. It's because we have other things going on or don't have the spoons.

I depends on your message too. Our usual messages are low effort. I put about the same amount of effort into pressing the delete button on those.

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By *INT OP   Man
3 weeks ago

Dublin


"Thanks for the replies. Will remain with current policy of no follow ups.

I don't think you need to be so final on that. This week I had some bad news, I shut our profile down for a couple of days. The next wee while is going to be a struggle due to an ill family member. I decided that I need some fun in my life more now than ever so opened our profile back up again, but just haven't had the spoons to reply to anyone.

So life just gets in the way. Ignored messages aren't always because the person isn't interested. It's because we have other things going on or don't have the spoons.

I depends on your message too. Our usual messages are low effort. I put about the same amount of effort into pressing the delete button on those. "

Sorry to hear about your ill family member. I hope that it all works out favourably for you and your family.

Thanks for the advice from your experience as well. Will bear it in mind & perhaps take the chance again after a week or two. For the time being I'll be heading to more socials and possibly meet some of the folks I've messaged in person.

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