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"Those plastic bottle lids always get in the way when you try and pour stuff" Or when you cut open a milk carton as suggested, you pick it up from the sides just enough pressure to hold it and out it spurts all over the place.  | |||
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"Just had to call out a vet for a sick farm animal and I KNOW the price of the vet treatment is going to be far above the commercial value of the animal and I'm going to end up paying for the callout plus the meds and it will probably end up dying anyway "I listened to a radio documentary a few years back about a big farm in Down that reared continental breeds of cattle. It looked great from a distance but the most profitable person connected with the farm was the local vet and profits were almost non existentent despite an enormous turnover and plenty of award winning animals. Eventually someone convinced the owner to switch to raising Angus instead. He halved the herd number and more than doubled his profits, as well as being able to reduce his own labour input. His quality of life was remarkably improved. The vet was gutted though. | |||
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" Butter being a little on the hard side to spread. You just know it's gonna tear ribbons in that fresh sourdough you just bought. The fear is real. " Butter up. As the bread rises during cooking, butter up in that direction and you will rarely rip it asunder. Imagine the bread is a naughty little buttcheek, the direction you would give it a playful slap, that's the right direction, to slap on the butter. | |||
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"€3.50 for a F&H petrol station coffee now. That's the same price as a barista coffee on the high street." People charge a premium for convenience. Who knew?  | |||
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"Putting all my empty plastic bottles into the machine and getting my money back voucher Buy my coffee and get back into the car Realise I forgot to use the money back voucher " I'm not sure the reTurn machines count as minor issues but they drive me up the walls. Bottles with proper undamaged bar codes being rejected while bottles purchased outside the state, without a deposit paid, are accepted. Ffs! Grrrrr! | |||
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"Why do fellas always wear white socks in porn vids???" Maybe to reflect some light up onto their mahoosive schlongs? 🤷 | |||
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"Why do fellas always wear white socks in porn vids???" really? I never look at socks 🫢 I don't even know if they have them at all 🤨 | |||
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"Why do fellas always wear white socks in porn vids??? really? I never look at socks 🫢 I don't even know if they have them at all 🤨" .... On here, socks of any colour are optional but wearing a glove is much more important it seems if you want to play..... | |||
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Keep them coming! | |||
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"The school run. Kill me." Last year I had 5 kids in 4 different schools. Don't ask. This year's it's "only" 3 different schools | |||
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"Just had to call out a vet for a sick farm animal and I KNOW the price of the vet treatment is going to be far above the commercial value of the animal and I'm going to end up paying for the callout plus the meds and it will probably end up dying anyway "Literally my dad at the moment! Animal died this morning and had the vet out 3 times, animal turned a corner was doing great, woke up this morning and they died during the night! | |||
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"Why do fellas always wear white socks in porn vids???" Cause white socks are actually a fetish | |||
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"Why do fellas always wear white socks in porn vids??? really? I never look at socks 🫢 I don't even know if they have them at all 🤨 .... On here, socks of any colour are optional but wearing a glove is much more important it seems if you want to play....." No glove no love my man | |||
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"The waitresses hiding in a corner to jump out on me the second I have my mouth full to ask if everything is ok. Every. Single. Bloody. Time. I swear there's a worldwide conspiracy against me an my photo is besides the kitchen door in every food outlet! "I swear those waitresses do that on purpose!!! | |||
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"Those plastic bottle lids always get in the way when you try and pour stuff" Soooo true. Hate them | |||
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"Blokes talking shite in the sauna. They don't even know each other but for some reason feel obligated to talk about sport, traffic or the weather. It's a sauna. Just shut the fuck up." I've been in saunas in Europe and there's signs on the wall telling you to shut up | |||
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"Blokes talking shite in the sauna. They don't even know each other but for some reason feel obligated to talk about sport, traffic or the weather. It's a sauna. Just shut the fuck up. I've been in saunas in Europe and there's signs on the wall telling you to shut up "How did they know you were coming?🤣 | |||
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"Blokes talking shite in the sauna. They don't even know each other but for some reason feel obligated to talk about sport, traffic or the weather. It's a sauna. Just shut the fuck up. I've been in saunas in Europe and there's signs on the wall telling you to shut up
How did they know you were coming?🤣"Cause I was shouting I'm Cumming  | |||
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"Blokes talking shite in the sauna. They don't even know each other but for some reason feel obligated to talk about sport, traffic or the weather. It's a sauna. Just shut the fuck up. 🤣 I've been in saunas in Europe and there's signs on the wall telling you to shut up
How did they know you were coming?🤣
Cause I was shouting I'm Cumming " | |||
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"Blokes talking shite in the sauna. They don't even know each other but for some reason feel obligated to talk about sport, traffic or the weather. It's a sauna. Just shut the fuck up. 🤣 I've been in saunas in Europe and there's signs on the wall telling you to shut up
How did they know you were coming?🤣
Cause I was shouting I'm Cumming "Add "people who cum in saunas" to the list. 😂😂😂 | |||
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"People who put milk back in the fridge with only a dribble left in the carton. "Or people who leave it on the kitchen table all day 🙄 | |||
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"People who put milk back in the fridge with only a dribble left in the carton. "But espresso with milk only needs a tiny , delight of an amount | |||
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"Inconsiderate cunts " They ain't Minor thing...they are Major league.. | |||
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"Bad drives. People who sit in the overtaking lane going nowhere. Wrong lane on the roundabout. People who can't use indicators. Pulling up on the left when your turning right at the junction. Please don't get me started silly B######s " People who park inappropriately in disabled spaces 🤔🤭 | |||
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"Bad drives. People who sit in the overtaking lane going nowhere. Wrong lane on the roundabout. People who can't use indicators. Pulling up on the left when your turning right at the junction. Please don't get me started silly B######s " So BMW drivers | |||
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"Bad drives. People who sit in the overtaking lane going nowhere. Wrong lane on the roundabout. People who can't use indicators. Pulling up on the left when your turning right at the junction. Please don't get me started silly B######s So BMW drivers " Yes Bogman a 251 mh reg one yesterday with no indicators it had all the extras but no indicators 🫣🫣 | |||
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"The school run. Kill me. Last year I had 5 kids in 4 different schools. Don't ask. This year's it's "only" 3 different schools" 2 different schools, 3 different pick up times and trapped in the car for an hour everyday while we wait on the last one 🫠 | |||
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"Re-sealable rasher packets are a myth !!!" Or those corners on a vacuum pack of meat/fish that I just can't find to peel open. 😬 | |||
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"People who think they own the road and won't pull in when the space is on their side incase they dirty a tired god forbid. I sat a particularly person out for half an hour because of this I was sick of being the nice guy 😇😇" What does sat someone out mean? | |||
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"Sandwiches that are 10e for a sliver of poxy ham. Re turn machines... give me patience. Vape stickers on bins.. Rubbish left in trolleys for you to throw away. Lack of coins for the trolly. Kittens that don't use litter boxes " Was just going to say Re turn machines! You spend ages filling up bags and have to drag then to the shops thinking you'll get something worthwhile and turns out it's 4 euro | |||
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"When people say, 'I'm good' in response to, 'How are you?'" Well I have a neighbour who used to do into detail about her piles if you asked her. So a "I'm good" Would have been lovely. | |||
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"People who block fuel pumps when they aren't getting fuel.or else do a full shop when they are parked there." This pisses me off too....but its also me 😬😬😬 | |||
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"That my eyesight is going and I can't thread a needle 😭😭" Laser surgery is definitely worth it | |||
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"The difference leaving 5 minutes later in the morning makes. " This. You can only be 15 minutes early or 5 minutes late and there's no in-between | |||
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"There's a feckin fly that keeps landing on my knob as I'm sunbathing "Toxic? | |||
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"There's a feckin fly that keeps landing on my knob as I'm sunbathing
Toxic?"I wouldn't be swatting it away if it was Toxic
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"There's a feckin fly that keeps landing on my knob as I'm sunbathing "Come out from behind the bins and you'll be grand  | |||
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"Never being able to pick my own seats at the 3arena and yet I can at the Sse arena Belfast. Ticketmaster is painful. Butter being a little on the hard side to spread. You just know it's gonna tear ribbons in that fresh sourdough you just bought. The fear is real. There's a growing trend to not send a dick pic anymore. Yep, you read that right. Instead they've came up with a cunning plan to assault our eyes with a dick video. They just lay there, stroking their penis, with their pants halfway down. And yes, it's as grim as it sounds. Somebody is also whispering to men that women love guys in dirty work clothes and it ain't me. Whoever you are, please stop. Apart from that, everything is tickety boo. 😉" I felt the butter one in my soul 😂 | |||
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"There's a feckin fly that keeps landing on my knob as I'm sunbathing "Maybe he is thirsty?? Is there something seeping out of it. Between that and the itch I'm getting worried for you🤣🤣🤣 | |||
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"Why is it much harder to borrow threads from the lounge these days ?" A tea slurper Ughhhhhh Minor It drives me mad I'm insane. | |||
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