FabSwingers.com forum: Slagging gone wrong.

By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

Slagging, or the inverse of a backhanded compliment, is commonly used in Ireland for good natured mockery, especially between friends and acquaintances. In a weird way, the things or people we respect most get slagged the most. Unfortunately the recipients may not always see the fun side of the slagging and can take umbrage.

A capacity for humour is unique to humans and everyone's sense of humour is unique and always open to misinterpretation.

Unfortunately on fab stepping over the slagging versus perceived insult line can sometimes earn you a block....an unintended consequence of an innocent comment. Even a few judiciously placed emojis may not make it clear enough that what was written was meant in jest.

A block earned is a lesson learned.....let every day be a school day.

🤝

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By *ambInABoxMan
18 weeks ago

Traveling around,

What's worst is when we do this to ourselves...

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By *r_Insatiable666Man
18 weeks ago

Cork

If I'm being honest, it's better for both parties. You don't want to worry about hurting feelings constantly, and they don't have to worry about being hurt. At least it sounds relatively mature.

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By *electableicecreamMan
18 weeks ago

The West

Fabs forum facilitates flippancy leading to bruising, berating and blocking.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

Slagging sometimes sniffs of sarcasm.....

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By *eralt80Man
18 weeks ago

cork

Ah shur we’ve all been there. I learned to wait until I know someone well enough before the slagging starts. Some can handle it and some can’t and until one knows which is which I prefer to err on the side of caution.

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By *ubadubdubWoman
18 weeks ago

Hereabouts

Saying sorry is sometimes a satisfactory salve

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

"Saying sorry is sometimes a satisfactory salve "

👍

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By *ionycusMan
18 weeks ago

Babylon

Sticks and stones, you've publicly apologized here.

If they can't see it was a joke , move on they don't deserve your time.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
18 weeks ago

Newry

"Ah shur we’ve all been there. I learned to wait until I know someone well enough before the slagging starts. Some can handle it and some can’t and until one knows which is which I prefer to err on the side of caution. "

I agree. I think until you know someone well enough, it's probably best kept in check. Plus, sometimes people have other stuff going on which means the slagging lands badly when otherwise it would be taken in good heart. It's delicate and nuanced, and often a fine line to tread

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By *he KakapoMan
18 weeks ago

A nice rock

"Sticks and stones, you've publicly apologized here.

If they can't see it was a joke , move on they don't deserve your time. "

They don't want his time 🤣

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

The situation which prompted my post was in the context of a fun thread and was in no way an attempt at insulting someone. But of course the recipient was open to taking my comment in a way it was not intended.

Slagging is an integral part of daily life in Cork and as the recipient in this case is from another part of the country I suspect it could be something of a cultural difference which caused the problem.

Vive la difference.

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By *eadMeisterMan
18 weeks ago

near you...

I learned the hard way. Got blocked.

Couldn't and haven't been able to say sorry.

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By *electableicecreamMan
18 weeks ago

The West

Regional irreverence initiates riling.

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

Alliteration adnauseam absolutely annoys.....

TOTALLY JOKING....😂😂😂😂😂😂.

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By *dfabMan
18 weeks ago

Dunboyne

My perspective is if you put, for example, the Fab emoji of

after a jesting comment, it should be taken as such.

Having also been in a thread where this was not understood

I now often use the newly introduced 🤪🤣🤘😘😉😁 regularly.

If they still can't take it as a humorous response, after sometimes explaining the nuances to them, fuck em, not worth increasing my BP over dry shites.

Sorry if this offends anyone but I've got more to be doing with my time

Great thread OP. Think it should be part of Fab How To

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By *ealitybitesMan
18 weeks ago

Belfast

The person doing the blocking could have a great sense of humour. It may not be the same sense as yours though.

There are many things said on fab dressed up as banter that others don't find in the least bit funny.

It's also quite possible that your sense of humour was not the reason at all.

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By *s SingletWoman
18 weeks ago

Kilkenny

As someone who likes a bit of tongue and cheek ,back and forth banter I've learned that humour doesn't always read well ,what I write doesn't always translate into what the person reads

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
18 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

Some people can definitely be over sensitive, but you also have to tailor your talk to who is listening and tread lightly at first to make sure they can take a comment as intended.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
18 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

"Alliteration adnauseam absolutely annoys.....

TOTALLY JOKING....😂😂😂😂😂😂."

I've been waiting for your poetry ever since you said you wrote it sometimes. Finally!

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

The worst thing is that everyone here does this to a greater or lesser extent.... everything is fine as long as they are on the side of the "joking" and once they are on the other side they take it as insults and criticism. Communication is important. If someone hurts your feelings, there is nothing wrong with talking to them about it... Blocking is in my opinion the worst reaction in this case... The problem is often how the message is received, not how it was intended... We all certainly shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. We are all the same "sinners", no one is without flaws and guilt.

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By *aseylee324Couple
18 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

Slagging is IMO one of the nastier aspects of the Irish psyche, passive aggressive insults masked as humour that the recipient is expected to just take with good humour lest they be perceived as "no craic".

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

"Slagging is IMO one of the nastier aspects of the Irish psyche, passive aggressive insults masked as humour that the recipient is expected to just take with good humour lest they be perceived as "no craic"."

of course, many times it is like that, but not everyone is the same and not every time... that is why we should not put everyone in the same bag... conversation is key... we can very quickly sense who has what intentions

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By *inky Bear and VicsCouple
18 weeks ago

Belfast

In person, you can hear the tone and see the facial expressions. In text a lot of this is lost. The nuances are lost. Also some people use slagging as a back handed insult anyway. So just saying that's the way Irish people are is insensitive. I think keep it to people you know a bit better.

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
18 weeks ago

Northside

The two most important factors in slagging are being able to take it as well as dish it out and to read the room. I absolutely love a good slagging session but that's only with close friends and family. With relative strangers and acquaintances I reign it in. I'll still slag but having said that,I've often had to explain what I'm slagging about and as a result I'm wary around new people. Id never intend to offend unless someone was being a smart arse...then they'd get it with both barrels!! If I got offended every time someone slagged me I'd never go out but if you can take a slagging the way it's intended we'll get on like a house on fire!!!

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By *amsevenMan
18 weeks ago

cork

Tone of voice and facial expression are important when taking the piss. Sometimes the joke is lost when communicating via text.

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By *ealitybitesMan
18 weeks ago

Belfast

👍 used to be a sign that you agreed with someone.

Now it is seen as passive aggressive.

👌 means ok and is normally a positive sign.

In a number of other countries though it is an insult and means zero or worthless.

It's not just that certain words, phrases or emojis are taken differently in other places or even different parts of the same country, it can often be that what is a colloquialism in one town land can be highly offensive just up the road.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

"The situation which prompted my post was in the context of a fun thread and was in no way an attempt at insulting someone. But of course the recipient was open to taking my comment in a way it was not intended.

Vive la difference. "

I've read this a few times.

Is it the recipient's fault for taking offence to your insult because their train of thought was only open to the insult instead of the joke?

I'm sure having the craic and taking the piss are the same all over the country. I never found any cultural difference any time I visited Cork. Granted, it has a few notions but that's about it. 😂

Is this one of those thinly veiled insults dress up as an apology or the other way around?

See, perspectives, words, intent, it can all get skewed very quickly on a forum. Maybe slagging works best in person when you know the person well.

Say what you mean. Apologise. Say sorry. Don't make it their fault. I'm sure they'll read it and appreciate it.

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By *ednuts101Man
18 weeks ago

Finglas

People seem to lose their sense of humor here... But hey it is a fantasy land after all

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By *rakesterlingMan
18 weeks ago

Dublin

Meh, I find a rather large percentage of people on this site comes with at least a few chips on their shoulders, if not the whole fish'n'chips joint, open 24/7.

I kinda decided it's better to actually have a bit of a conversation before actually advancing to the next level of familiarity...

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

As a person of a different nationality, raised in a different culture and language, I often struggle with this problem. I often do not understand the "Irish" sense of humor or the sense of a discussion. I often wonder what the writer meant, whether it is a joke or maybe they wanted to offend me.... what are they talking about... but I never block anyone because of this. I always try to make sure what someone means and whether I have understood it correctly before I do it. We are all adults and we know how easy it is to make mistakes and draw wrong conclusions. sorry for my grammar 😉😉

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By *alvin.Man
18 weeks ago

Cork/Dublin

I'm not into slagging. Sort of boring really. I grew out of that years ago.

Banter and a sense of humour can stand alone from the quaint old Irish tradition of micro insults with a smile on your face as you deliver it. Meh

I do like a good fart joke though.

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

"I'm not into slagging. Sort of boring really. I grew out of that years ago.

Banter and a sense of humour can stand alone from the quaint old Irish tradition of micro insults with a smile on your face as you deliver it. Meh

I do like a good fart joke though.

write some if you can...pleasssseeee 🤣

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By *eldducMan
18 weeks ago

Cork

"As a person of a different nationality, raised in a different culture and language, I often struggle with this problem. I often do not understand the "Irish" sense of humor or the sense of a discussion. I often wonder what the writer meant, whether it is a joke or maybe they wanted to offend me.... what are they talking about... but I never block anyone because of this. I always try to make sure what someone means and whether I have understood it correctly before I do it. We are all adults and we know how easy it is to make mistakes and draw wrong conclusions. sorry for my grammar 😉😉"

That's perfectly put and even for Irish people that are born and bred here in this country different sayings are always being discovered in different counties within Ireland.

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By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

"I'm not into slagging. Sort of boring really. I grew out of that years ago.

Banter and a sense of humour can stand alone from the quaint old Irish tradition of micro insults with a smile on your face as you deliver it. Meh

I do like a good fart joke though.

That and a yo mumma joke will win me over every time 😁

Simpler times..

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By *eadMeisterMan
18 weeks ago

near you...

[Removed by poster at 06/01/25 11:40:40]

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By *eadMeisterMan
18 weeks ago

near you...

Just wanted to say publicly that I'm sorry for being a buzzkill. Didn't intend to come across as such. If you’re open to it, I’d like the opportunity to clear things up or make amends.

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

Just wanted to say publicly that I'm sorry for being a buzzkill. Didn't intend to come across as such. If you’re open to it, I’d like the opportunity to clear things up or make amends."

🤔🤔🤔 bravo... you're doing great, you blocked me 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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By *eadMeisterMan
18 weeks ago

near you...

🤔🤔🤔 bravo... you're doing great, you blocked me 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻"

No I didn't...still haven't

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

🤔🤔🤔 bravo... you're doing great, you blocked me 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

No I didn't...still haven't "

🤣🤣🤣 hahah that "Irish" sense of humor 🤣🤣 hilarious 🤣

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By *ionycusMan
18 weeks ago

Babylon

"I'm not into slagging. Sort of boring really. I grew out of that years ago.

Banter and a sense of humour can stand alone from the quaint old Irish tradition of micro insults with a smile on your face as you deliver it. Meh

I do like a good fart joke though.

That and a yo mumma joke will win me over every time 😁

Simpler times.."

That's what she said

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

.....

My offending message was actually intended as humour but clumsily disguised as an insult. As I have already stated the recipient was open to taking it the wrong way which was absolutely my fault and not theirs.

I believed that the subject of the message, that I thought they might share it with, as indeed they did, would be in a position to see the funny side and explain to them that it was all a joke.

Unfortunately the joke backfired and I ended up having to post this thread by way of an apology.

There was no element of passive aggression involved in any of my interactions on fab and if slagging is a nasty Irish trait then I am happy to have it as one of my character flaws.

As i have already stated everyone has a unique sense of humour so i fully understand that not everyone sees the craic in what others see as fun.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
18 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

I don't get the whole posting a public 'apology' thing. To me it just comes across as looking for others to tell you 'ah you're OK, was the other person's problem, good lad for writing this apology though".

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

I have been contacted by one of the people offended by the message which prompted my OP.

I have apologised for any upset caused and they have asked me to forget about it and move on which I am happy to do.

An even older and slightly wiser 🦡.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂

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By *rown PrismWoman
18 weeks ago

Dublin

....and they lived happily ever after.... the end 😉

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By *adger Broc OP Man
18 weeks ago

Co. Cork

"I don't get the whole posting a public 'apology' thing. To me it just comes across as looking for others to tell you 'ah you're OK, was the other person's problem, good lad for writing this apology though"."

Absolutely not the case but you are entitled to your opinion.

And thankfully the forums are here to allow you express it openly.

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By *ionycusMan
18 weeks ago

Babylon

Probably blocked and can't do it directly, I know I have wanted to apologize to someone on here before and can't, so I tracked them down and stood outside their house playing 80s music out of my stereo held over my head.... Joking.

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By *og-ManMan
18 weeks ago

somewhere

Some people now going what the hell is he talking about now ...whats a stereo

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By *alvin.Man
18 weeks ago

Cork/Dublin

Some people now going what the hell is he talking about now ...whats a stereo "

Jez bog. Do you know nuttin

A stereo is a big Walkman. Simples. x

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By *he KakapoMan
18 weeks ago

A nice rock

"I have been contacted by one of the people offended by the message which prompted my OP.

I have apologised for any upset caused and they have asked me to forget about it and move on which I am happy to do.

An even older and slightly wiser 🦡.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂"

One?

One of the people? Plot thickens...........

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By *og-ManMan
18 weeks ago

somewhere

Some people now going what the hell is he talking about now ...whats a stereo

Jez bog. Do you know nuttin

A stereo is a big Walkman. Simples. x"

You'd say anything

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By *uest56789Man
18 weeks ago

dublin

I must say, I sometimes can’t differentiate between a slag and an insult even when emojis are present.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
18 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

Some people now going what the hell is he talking about now ...whats a stereo

Jez bog. Do you know nuttin

A stereo is a big Walkman. Simples. x

You'd say anything

Ohhhhh.. I see what you did there!! Clever. Very clever..

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By *alvin.Man
18 weeks ago

Cork/Dublin

Some people now going what the hell is he talking about now ...whats a stereo

Jez bog. Do you know nuttin

A stereo is a big Walkman. Simples. x

You'd say anything

Brillant. Touché. I burst out laughing

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