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"Don't have one. I find them dangerous tbh. I want a Dom to be able to read my queues before I ever need to use one. Have seen scenes go wrong when people forget theirs wires get crossed so I don't use one. Stop and No are clear and definite if I feel the need to use one." that's so intelligent... Its my new way forward | |||
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"Don't have one. I find them dangerous tbh. I want a Dom to be able to read my queues before I ever need to use one. Have seen scenes go wrong when people forget theirs wires get crossed so I don't use one. Stop and No are clear and definite if I feel the need to use one." Which works great a lot of time except where you like to say no, but really want it to continue, then a separate word can be really useful. Traffic lights are great because you can yellow before you need to red. | |||
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"Meatloaf I'll do anything for love but I won't do that no I won't do that... " I was gonna say that also because in the right situation 2 out of 3 aint bad either | |||
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"Fuck off.. 😂😂😂" My girl ❤️ The nuns thought us well 😉 | |||
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"Meatloaf I'll do anything for love but I won't do that no I won't do that... " Ha, that's a class one. | |||
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"Using safe words is not about not enjoying something!!! a statement like that is misunderstanding this type of play dynamic and it hints of Kink shaming. usually lack of knowledge and or experience. Safe world communication is agreed in communication with everyone's consent and agreement. " I think they just don’t realize it was about kinky interaction, don’t think they have an intention to blame someone. Education is so needed. | |||
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"Using safe words is not about not enjoying something!!! a statement like that is misunderstanding this type of play dynamic and it hints of Kink shaming. usually lack of knowledge and or experience. Safe world communication is agreed in communication with everyone's consent and agreement. " It isn't kink shaming. We've a dynamic with various kinks that have developed without a safe word and both agreed that we don't like them or use them. That's a preference. I wouldn't enter into a dynamic where a safe word is needed because that's not the kind of Dom/Sub dynamic I would want. One that develops over time can work extremely well with clear language of stop/no/too much etc being used and listened too. Some people freeze and can't get their safe word out so it's hugely important that a Dom is able to read their sub and be responsible by not taking things too for - too fast. Dom/Sub dynamics are not created overnight. They aren't a quick flogging at an event or a bit of wax play - they take months/years to develop and nurture. Both of us are well educated and have attended proper kink rather than swing events with some rope/wax/flogging so being educated and shaming is definitely not an issue for us. It's a safety preference. | |||
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"Traffic light allows for nuances and adjustment. A stop from a sub means just that. But a Yellow initiates a check in, that will lead to a slight change in play or level of intensity, or a mental health check in. To me the check in from the Dom is as important as the safe words. I've seen subs go non-verbal. The Non verbal equivalent of a yellow is repeated tapping and that's often just an instinct but this should all be discussed too. It also allows for edge play, a lot of BDSM practitioners find the most elevated experiences happen at the outer edges of people's boundaries. So yeah we can play it safe and play well within the green zone. It gets boring very quick. But push someone to the most pain, the most sensory deprivation, the most humiliated, the most pleasurable, that's where the fun is. So a lot of subs want to be very nearly yellow. This is within the context of a very familiar dynamic, you don't do this stuff with people you don't know. You CAN do pick up play which is like a taster session of BDSM, something light, not intense, more fun but also more surface level. Safe words are probably less important but I'd still employ them. They are part of the ongoing communication during the session. I'd say 'what's your colour' they'd say 'green' and I'm satisfied to continue. If they hesitate, that's a warning to me to follow up. If a sub said they didn't believe in safe words I would probably not do any BDSM with them. I'm not a mind reader. Yes I can see cues, but they might be a sign of happiness or anxiety, a quiver can be nerves or joy. A groan could be pleasure or a slip into a non verbal state. I need to trust the sub to be a good communicator. It's all negotiated beforehand and is simply a very clear and concise shortcut communication method that works very well and very quickly. Brats have their own rules! I find 'Time Out' works very well in Bratting and role play as you can literally take a few seconds out of the fun, ask a question, find out something, then go right back to it. Ultimately this is a swinging site and vanilla sex with no BDSM can use safe words if everyone wants to. But as long as the word 'No' is respected and nobody feels pressured to go through with something they aren't 100% happy with then 'plain language' should work out fine. " Love this - Dom check in hugely important and the nonverbal aspect is one a lot of people don't realise or know about. I go nonverbal so safe words are extremely dangerous for me and I refuse to use them. Plain language with Dom checks are the safest route xx Traffic lights I like except for 'yellow' and 'orange' 😆😆. My ND brain won't allow for more than one syllable instructions when in a particularly heightened zone. Red and green would be ok but they are essentially stop/go/no for me and OK at a push - plain language as you say. Safest way to go. | |||
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"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious "Say that with your mouth full 😂😂 | |||
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" Love this - Dom check in hugely important and the nonverbal aspect is one a lot of people don't realise or know about. I go nonverbal so safe words are extremely dangerous for me and I refuse to use them. Plain language with Dom checks are the safest route xx Traffic lights I like except for 'yellow' and 'orange' 😆😆. My ND brain won't allow for more than one syllable instructions when in a particularly heightened zone. Red and green would be ok but they are essentially stop/go/no for me and OK at a push - plain language as you say. Safest way to go. " I know someone with a heath condition (circulation issues) uses Blue as a medical safeword and I've seen this be adopted recently within the scene. Not all disabilities are on the outside. One person has connective tissue problems in limbs, another one has Asthma. Blue just being used as an early warning. | |||
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"Fuck off.. 😂😂😂" I was just scrolling down to say the same thing...... Fuck off | |||
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