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Suarez jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

O.K. They've already stareted so let's share

It's good to see that Suarez has finally tasted champions league success.

Now Suarez will be suspended, Liverpool will struggle to qualify for the Chomp-ions League!

Was wondering why Suarez went to the Liverpool Xmas fancy dress party last year as the Star Wars character Chewcentrebacca.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

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By *ardon 69Man
over a year ago

in Laois :-)

Luis Suarez. Dives from 5 feet and stays down.

Felix Baumgartner. Dives from 128,000 feet and gets straight up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'"

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan


"A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.' "

I'm having difficulty finding the Suarez angle though

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By *ardon 69Man
over a year ago

in Laois :-)


"A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'

Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

I'm having difficulty finding the Suarez angle though "

He must have been the burglar, robbing fooker!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The player ratings for Liverpool v Chelsea are in. Suarez got zero out of ten, Ivanovich got ate.

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By *randub69Man
over a year ago

city

Liverpool have announced that in there next game they are playing a four four chew formation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Typical men always talking bout football

Huh I don't understand the jokes at all

And an bit a football fan so just don't get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well the moral of yesterdays story is that Liverpool are tryin to make as much as they can out of the incident as it takes away the attention that they should receive for having one of the worst seasons possible, its a fookin bite, not a chainsaw massacre, wrong but don't let it take away from all the shocking displays the rest of the players put on the pitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well the moral of yesterdays story is that Liverpool are tryin to make as much as they can out of the incident as it takes away the attention that they should receive for having one of the worst seasons possible, its a fookin bite, not a chainsaw massacre, wrong but don't let it take away from all the shocking displays the rest of the players put on the pitch. "
if it was one of there worst seasons ever then they'd be called QPR , Bazinga!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well the moral of yesterdays story is that Liverpool are tryin to make as much as they can out of the incident as it takes away the attention that they should receive for having one of the worst seasons possible, its a fookin bite, not a chainsaw massacre, wrong but don't let it take away from all the shocking displays the rest of the players put on the pitch. if it was one of there worst seasons ever then they'd be called QPR , Bazinga! "

Well if QPR had the wage bill that Liverpool have then i would be quick to point a finger, but having 12 players earning over 100k a week and not able to finish higher than seventh is a shite state of affairs to be in

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