FabSwingers.com forum: Ex

By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

Married with children here

Yet, I’m madly, madly in love with my ex

12 years broken up. Think about her a lot and it’s killing me. I don’t know what to do.

I love 2 people (and kids) as much as each other and so Torn, fuck my life

I hide it. I don’t let it effect things but deep inside I hurt, I feel guilt.

Maybe the time has come for help

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By *rish-blacksmithMan
8 weeks ago

Cork

I think it's likely you don't love your ex. You love the idea of unrealized potential and the memory of what YOU were like when you were younger.

She's just a symptom

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

You think

The gut wrenching feeling in my stomach when I think of her, is that not love

Fantasise a lot about her. Maybe it is only the idea

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By *oosmoothballsMan
8 weeks ago

Dublin

Trust me! Never go back. It didn’t work for a reason. Onwards and upwards my friend. It will soon pass once you occupy your time elsewhere.

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By *rRiosMan
8 weeks ago

dublin

Are you still in contact with the ex?

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

Not really. We wouldn’t live far from each other

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By *og-ManMan
8 weeks ago

somewhere

Has she found someone else and that's what's upsetting you rather than love her

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

No I don’t think so and I’m not sure

The thought of her with some one else makes me want to vomit.

Now if we were together Id only love to be swinging with her, I know that may not make sense but I hope it does

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By *rown PrismWoman
8 weeks ago

Dublin

"No one steps into the same river twice, because it is not the same river and he is not the same person"

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By *rRiosMan
8 weeks ago

dublin

"No I don’t think so and I’m not sure

The thought of her with some one else makes me want to vomit.

Now if we were together Id only love to be swinging with her, I know that may not make sense but I hope it does "

And what about swinging with your wife?

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

Non runner. She’d have no time for it at all

Maybe my ex wouldn’t either. But would me more open to it

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By *agda1974Man
8 weeks ago

Clonmel

It's a symptom lad of something else that is going on in your life but it's not the answer.

I quit liked that river quote further up the thread.

Take some time outfor yourself but remember; the mind edits an awful lot of our past experiences in order to protect us.

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By *indenMan
8 weeks ago

Naas which is South West of Dublin

"I think it's likely you don't love your ex. You love the idea of unrealized potential and the memory of what YOU were like when you were younger.

She's just a symptom"

Yep…..👍

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

Thanks everyone. Much appreciated

Much to digest

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By *BantsMan
8 weeks ago

Mayo for now

"I think it's likely you don't love your ex. You love the idea of unrealized potential and the memory of what YOU were like when you were younger.

She's just a symptom"

OP, this is good advice.

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By *rutus83Man
8 weeks ago

naas

"I think it's likely you don't love your ex. You love the idea of unrealized potential and the memory of what YOU were like when you were younger.

She's just a symptom"

This 👏👏👏 most of us get caught up in the fantasy of having the same connection we had, but in reality, ye are two different people now, and the connection would be different. nothing like your memories unfortunately

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By *ubadubdubWoman
8 weeks ago

Hereabouts

"Married with children here

Yet, I’m madly, madly in love with my ex

12 years broken up. Think about her a lot and it’s killing me. I don’t know what to do.

I love 2 people (and kids) as much as each other and so Torn, fuck my life

I hide it. I don’t let it effect things but deep inside I hurt, I feel guilt.

Maybe the time has come for help "

It's quite possible to love two people, it's the acceptance of it and ability to live with it that can be the challenge.

What kind of help are you considering? It sounds like you are in a lot of emotional pain so maybe talking it out with a counsellor would help.

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By *ub100400Man
8 weeks ago

Dublin

If you don’t mind me asking - was the sex better w the ex and is that part of the reason you still maybe in love w her

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

I am thinking of a counsellor yes. There is a lot of emotional pain

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

"If you don’t mind me asking - was the sex better w the ex and is that part of the reason you still maybe in love w her "

The sex was on par but she was more sexual.

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By *panishRebelMan
8 weeks ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland

Love is not a tap that you can turn off and on. It's always there, but maybe not grown by much since the time you left. Having love doesn't mean you should go back. It's ok to Love. But if you truly love you won't deliberately fuck up lives. Yours and theirs included. Don't confuse love with desire. Desire is just one element within love. As someone said above, you may just desire the idea, of what you had? And that's not live, no matter how strong the emotion of it. It's neither wrong nor right. What you do with it is what counts. Look to do what's honest and most beneficial for everyone.

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

That’s very true and hence why I’m going to seek counselling. To try talking it out

I won’t be hurting anyone. I’d rather hurt myself and continue the hiding of it. Like I said I don’t let it effect things

I always feel better when I talk it out, be here or if I seek help, which I think will help

Hearing people’s response here is great

I know I don’t sound like a great person so I appreciate peoples thoughts even more

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By *affa31Woman
8 weeks ago

Galway

You’re married, in love with your ex and according to your veri summary, have met someone here 5 months ago.

You need to decide what you actually want and get your shit together. Being on fab is probably not going to help that.

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
8 weeks ago

Town

This is true and acceptance of what’s going on is probably not something I can get my head around when I’m on here.

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By *chochamberWoman
8 weeks ago

Munster

You were in a different space in life when with your ex, no kids, much less responsibilities.

If you were married with kids with her, your relationship would have changed to manage day to day life. You ld be sharing the daily drudge of parenting and school drops and lunches and your ex might not be quite as sexual as she was as a younger, more care free, girl.

You are yearning for the carefree days, they are gone.

Focus on your wife, you say you love her, you are lucky to have someone you love. Cherish her.

Realise, what you had with your ex, is not possible to recreate, due to life changing and maturing personalities.

Why did you break up with ex?

She may not be yearning for you, this "love" might be a pipe dream in your head.

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By *tsMe24 OP Man
7 weeks ago

Town

Very good advice here and thanks to all of you.

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