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"This kind of a thread always end up in a row of some kind. I honestly believe there are as many married and attached women here without their partners knowledge as there are men. It just seems that people turn more of a blind eye to the ladies as it seems more acceptable to do so." That too, proportionally wise anyway! I don’t it’s more acceptable, I think it’s that some men don’t care as much as long as they can get the ride. | |||
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"This kind of a thread always end up in a row of some kind. I honestly believe there are as many married and attached women here without their partners knowledge as there are men. It just seems that people turn more of a blind eye to the ladies as it seems more acceptable to do so." We agree. Many see a married woman cheating as more acceptable but we think that's more down to the smaller amount of women users on the site compared to the large amount of male users. | |||
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"There *shouldn't* be different treatment or acceptance for married men playing away Vs the married women. The demographics here means that they are often treated differently though." It's also usually men looking for validation for their transgressions in the forum. Women seem to be a little more low key. | |||
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"If a woman cant accommodate she's protecting the safe space she lives in If a man can't accommodate it's because he's cheating Nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't want to bother cleaning the feckin house "🤣🤣🤣 | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets ( and she doesn't want to ) does she need to change how she finds the men " I would give her advice but I don't have great luck finding decent men myself 🤷♀️ | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets ( and she doesn't want to ) does she need to change how she finds the men " Absolutely 💯 At socials, you are likely meeing single/separated/divorced/widowed guys as cheaters tend to stay more liw key do maube your friend dhould change her strategy for finding them. If a guy doesn't mention his relationship status in his bio then we assume that he is attached and cheating. We are generally right. The giveaway of course is multiple panicky references to 'NSA' on their profile. | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets ( and she doesn't want to ) does she need to change how she finds the men" If it keeps happening an easy solution would be to work the question “are you married” into the conversation early, before meeting. | |||
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"If a woman cant accommodate she's protecting the safe space she lives in If a man can't accommodate it's because he's cheating Nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't want to bother cleaning the feckin house "Or a single dad who has kids and doesn't want them to know he's having fun..... Which probably amounts to the same thing as not wanting to clean the feckin house..🥁😇 | |||
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" the easiest way ... is it not possible to ask the question whether you are married, before meeting?" I would imagine this would be the easiest way of finding out, or maybe ask the question are you single ! | |||
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"If a woman cant accommodate she's protecting the safe space she lives in If a man can't accommodate it's because he's cheating Nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't want to bother cleaning the feckin house
Or a single dad who has kids and doesn't want them to know he's having fun..... Which probably amounts to the same thing as not wanting to clean the feckin house..🥁😇"These men are in the minority, let's be honest | |||
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" the easiest way ... is it not possible to ask the question whether you are married, before meeting? I would imagine this would be the easiest way of finding out, or maybe ask the question are you single !" You can ask all you want but you won't always get an honest answer. Some people are great at lying and others not so much. | |||
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"A friend of mine was telling me about her coffee date today. Nice guy, all green flags in profile and conversation. However, on meeting the chap discovers that he's married. This is a recurring theme and probably the fourth or fifth guy that she's met who has turned out to be married. I'm wondering how many other women experience this? Are there really that many married men on here cheating?" That’s why married men fuck it up for singles… That are actually single!!! | |||
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"A friend of mine was telling me about her coffee date today. Nice guy, all green flags in profile and conversation. However, on meeting the chap discovers that he's married. This is a recurring theme and probably the fourth or fifth guy that she's met who has turned out to be married. I'm wondering how many other women experience this? Are there really that many married men on here cheating?" Lets face it this is Fab, it's not a **Dating Site** most people will be in a relationship etc, and imo thats there business. Loads don't accomodate NOT just coz there married etc! Like Childrens home, live near family, neighbours etc, not wanting randomers of the internet in your home! I've been offered multiple trades peoples work round my home but never accept. I know others that have done several house jobs off fab tradies (each to there own) Alot of open relationships these days also. Tbh peoples relationship status is there business, but men who.message about wife been out etc and think its a kink are an automatic ICK!! | |||
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" the easiest way ... is it not possible to ask the question whether you are married, before meeting? I would imagine this would be the easiest way of finding out, or maybe ask the question are you single ! You can ask all you want but you won't always get an honest answer. Some people are great at lying and others not so much. " Yes, you are right... I only considered honest answers. | |||
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"Not all men who can't accommodate are married. There should be a 'doesn't want to accommodate ' option" Spot on! I'd have to get to know someone really well before leaving them into my home. | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets (and she doesn't want to) does she need to change how she finds the men." • Precisely. I would question her commitment to due diligence. | |||
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"If a woman cant accommodate she's protecting the safe space she lives in If a man can't accommodate it's because he's cheating Nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't want to bother cleaning the feckin house
Or a single dad who has kids and doesn't want them to know he's having fun..... Which probably amounts to the same thing as not wanting to clean the feckin house..🥁😇
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These men are in the minority, let's be honest"• No, they're not. 👍🏻 | |||
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" These men are in the minority, let's be honest" Nope. | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets (and she doesn't want to) does she need to change how she finds the men. • Precisely. I would question her commitment to due diligence." I've experienced this exact situation outlined by the OP & I can tell you now that it's one of the first questions I ask - "are you single?". It's also clearly noted on my bio that I have no interest in meeting with attached men yet they keep on sliding into the DMs acting like they're free & single. So maybe take it that the OP's pal is doing her "due diligence" rather than making her sound flaky AF when she's probably not. | |||
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" the easiest way ... is it not possible to ask the question whether you are married, before meeting?" Because if they get as far as getting a reply, and they’re already being dishonest with their partner, some wouldn’t see any difference in being dishonest with a complete stranger to see where it goes if the answer was no, I’m single. I’m not going to judge anyone, I don’t know anyone else’s circumstances, everyone has their own story, but some may be sceptical, and have good reason to……. | |||
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"If a woman cant accommodate she's protecting the safe space she lives in If a man can't accommodate it's because he's cheating Nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't want to bother cleaning the feckin house
Or a single dad who has kids and doesn't want them to know he's having fun..... Which probably amounts to the same thing as not wanting to clean the feckin house..🥁😇
These men are in the minority, let's be honest"I’ve always thought that strange, in a world of equality, but that’s a whole other conversation…… ⚖️ In the minority or not, they exist….. | |||
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"Realistically who in the name of all that is holy let's strangers off an internet site into their house in this day and age. " I suppose it depends on what you consider a stranger. If I've spent some time with someone, say a couple of hours, and we've had a coffee and a stroll or whatever then I'm quite happy to invite them to my place if the mood is agreeable. Compare that to being half cut in a bar and taking home a stranger you've been shouting over the music at for a couple of hours I'd say the only difference is your judgement might be marginally better sober. | |||
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"Realistically who in the name of all that is holy let's strangers off an internet site into their house in this day and age. I suppose it depends on what you consider a stranger. If I've spent some time with someone, say a couple of hours, and we've had a coffee and a stroll or whatever then I'm quite happy to invite them to my place if the mood is agreeable. Compare that to being half cut in a bar and taking home a stranger you've been shouting over the music at for a couple of hours I'd say the only difference is your judgement might be marginally better sober." Ah, the good old days…… | |||
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"Some of us actually mention it in our profile. Imagine! "Some even in our names | |||
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"Wife has no interest in sex, more career focused! Told me to join the site and see how I go, just don't mention it to her unless she asks. I always tell potential partners that im married. It never puts them off, I think they appreciate the honesty. In my experience all of the women on here are attached or married anyway they just want you to say it first!" That's a different thing to most though as you have permission | |||
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"Doesn't bother us if they are married or not that's their business " That's our philosophy too. | |||
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One thing we have openly learned especially in the last year or so is "we do us" and you look after you, and protect what we have at all cost. Many people do things and we will never know why and it's not our business, we are there to meet others and have a laugh and if Thing's are right maybe have sex to enhance our relationship. It's taken a long time to see sometimes you need to be a little selfish. | |||
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"Good morning everyone
One thing we have openly learned especially in the last year or so is "we do us" and you look after you, and protect what we have at all cost. Many people do things and we will never know why and it's not our business, we are there to meet others and have a laugh and if Thing's are right maybe have sex to enhance our relationship. It's taken a long time to see sometimes you need to be a little selfish. "Yup.  perfectly put | |||
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"Good morning everyone
One thing we have openly learned especially in the last year or so is "we do us" and you look after you, and protect what we have at all cost. Many people do things and we will never know why and it's not our business, we are there to meet others and have a laugh and if Thing's are right maybe have sex to enhance our relationship. It's taken a long time to see sometimes you need to be a little selfish. "This ⬆️❤️ | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets (and she doesn't want to) does she need to change how she finds the men. • Precisely. I would question her commitment to due diligence." That's harsh. You presume she's the one to blame. I as a female have had lots of lies fed to me. Occasionally I've given the benefit of the doubt. Only for it to come out eventually. The 'separated dude' who disclosed he lived in an 'annex'of the marital home because of housing costs. Believable right? Then it's oh I might be wearing a wedding ring because my son wants me to. And next thing was because of my night shifts I cam only meet during the day. Married men are such bullshitters. Before I met my current partner I got strung along for about a month by one. A whole month of nightly chatting and facetiming. Eventually I said OK you can't come to me I'll drive the three hours to you. That's when he admitted he was married. Started shouting at me for being judgemental. I admit I was niave, and it wasn't on here...it was a dating site. I had a lot of nearly meets that didn't happen because I caught on. And a couple where I didn't. And quite a few who flaked last minute. It's controversial but married men and women should not be here. Swinging is consensual, negotiated, ethical acts carried out by respectful adults choosing to play with one another. The cheated on partner did not consent to having their sexual health put at risk. Or their heart broken. But the owners like the memberships so they turn a blind eye. | |||
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"Acid test for a married man or woman! Give them a huge love bite on their neck and wait for the reaction... " Anyone tries to give me a love bite, they can expect a right hook to the ribs!! I'm 43yrs of age ffs, can be going around place with that! 😂 | |||
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"Acid test for a married man or woman! Give them a huge love bite on their neck and wait for the reaction... Anyone tries to give me a love bite, they can expect a right hook to the ribs!! I'm 43yrs of age ffs, can be going around place with that! 😂" Agreed!!!!! | |||
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"Acid test for a married man or woman! Give them a huge love bite on their neck and wait for the reaction... Anyone tries to give me a love bite, they can expect a right hook to the ribs!! I'm 43yrs of age ffs, can be going around place with that! 😂" Haha, relive those school discos... I take it you're married? | |||
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"If the friend keeps meeting married men on coffee meets (and she doesn't want to) does she need to change how she finds the men. • Precisely. I would question her commitment to due diligence. . That's harsh. You presume she's the one to blame. " No, I think you've misinterpreted: it's not harsh and I am not suggesting that she is to blame. If she is repeatedly discovering that men are married during her coffee meets then there is one common denominator: her. Perhaps she needs to empower herself and adapt her approach when engaging with men before any meets, to mitigate any disappointments. "Married men are such bullshitters." That's harsh, because it's a generalised sweeping statement. "It's controversial but married men and women should not be here. Swinging is... ..." I am very sorry to hear about your experiences and they provide one facet of many experiences, good, bad and indifferent. I'm delighted to hear your experiences are now more fulfilling. All people should be welcome here, irrespective of their marital circumstances, as long as candour and honesty comes to the fore. Despite its initial genesis this is no longer just a swinging site. It's an 'everything' site: sex, hookups, FWB, NSA, FBs, socials, clandestine encounters and so forth...rightly or wrongly. From my perspective I often come across a large number of married women - an equal balance of those who exercise subterfuge and those who exercise honesty and openness. More often than not they tend to be more open and honest about their circumstances than men. Equally so, they also seem to get a lot more leeway on here than men, again, rightly or wrongly. | |||
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" and protect what we have at all cost." If the cheaters took your advice then most of them would leave Fab wouldn't they | |||
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" All people should be welcome here, irrespective of their marital circumstances, as long as candour and honesty comes to the fore. " And so this happens? It doesn't in my experience. If it did, I could glide on by. " Despite its initial genesis this is no longer just a swinging site. It's an 'everything' site: sex, hookups, FWB, NSA, FBs, socials, clandestine encounters and so forth...rightly or wrongly. " Says who? There's other websites for that. Let's face it, cheaters will use this as a database for available encounters. So it's up to us to not be available. Sadly that means rebuffing genuinely single people too as they get tarred with the same brush. | |||
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" All people should be welcome here, irrespective of their marital circumstances, as long as candour and honesty comes to the fore. And so this happens? It doesn't in my experience. If it did, I could glide on by." That's the beauty of viewpoints: they're based on experiences. My experiences dictate otherwise. "Despite its initial genesis this is no longer just a swinging site. It's an 'everything' site: sex, hookups, FWB, NSA, FBs, socials, clandestine encounters and so forth...rightly or wrongly. Says who? There's other websites for that. Let's face it, cheaters will use this as a database for available encounters." "There's other websites for that" - this website serves its purpose for most things, despite other websites. "cheaters will use this as a database for available encounters." - empirical evidence please. | |||
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" "cheaters will use this as a database for available encounters." - empirical evidence please. " Hold on until I crunch the numbers on my exclusive access Fab and cheating people algorithm. Oh wait. I don't have that. Personal experience and related experiences from others will have to suffice. | |||
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"It is bad enough that single men are sending unsolicited dick pics that even this now is causing more problems for single men like me. Can’t accommodate, only active during the day, mostly cock pics and no social verifications, that is the classic sign of married men. A lot of the married men are over 40 but sure some of them are in the 30s as well. 🙄" ...blaming other men for your lack of success on here...isn't a good look in my opinion. | |||
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"Acid test for a married man or woman! Give them a huge love bite on their neck and wait for the reaction... Anyone tries to give me a love bite, they can expect a right hook to the ribs!! I'm 43yrs of age ffs, can be going around place with that! 😂 Haha, relive those school discos... I take it you're married?" Id say the fact that they are here as a couple would be a give away there sherlock | |||
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"It is bad enough that single men are sending unsolicited dick pics that even this now is causing more problems for single men like me. Can’t accommodate, only active during the day, mostly cock pics and no social verifications, that is the classic sign of married men. A lot of the married men are over 40 but sure some of them are in the 30s as well. 🙄...blaming other men for your lack of success on here...isn't a good look in my opinion. "
I'm one of those married cheating bar stewards, who technically is not a swinger, shouldn't be here etc
Non Ethical-non Monogamy or what ever else I'm being classified as these days
I don't agree with people hiding their married status, just say it on your profile and at least let people have the choice to interact with you or not
The block button helps both ways, to ignore the self declared married people and for the married who want to ignore the people who don't like married people
Have a great weekend folks | |||
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"I, for one, prefer with their partners knowledge married or attached men. They suit what I am looking for from here and are less hassle to deal with. I always ask men if they are married and 99% of the time feel I get a truthful answer It is very, very easy to see who is here without their partners knowledge as the signs are clearly out there. Some yes are very clever at hiding it, but if you want to see it, you will. Some will choose to ignore the warning signs because they really like the man or woman and will only get angry when things don't work out as they hoped for I don't think we have the right to say who should be here or not here as life is not black and white" Completely agree | |||
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"Numerous times. The single becomes the married. States on my profile. Won't meet married. Ahem. " Which is the best clarification needed. Won't stop me fabbing sexy pics though, as sexy is sexy and I appreciate the female form whether I'm allowed to connect with them or not | |||
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"Echoed. A lot of judgment here considering probably 90% of Irish society would think we are *all* sleazy scumbags for being on here regardless of status. I try (but don't always succeed) to not bother the no-attached profiles *if* I see it called out in their profile. No intention of wasting their time or my own. Plus a matter of respecting their wishes and not bringing pissed off eyes onto my profile - there is the obvious matter of self-preservation. But sometimes when reading on a phone, you miss that line. Anyway, point is, everyone has their own personal moral compass, but ffs, you *are* on a swinging website so maybe we're all not exactly ethical gatekeepers..." This pisses me off. The idea that we are all doing something unethical because we are swingers on a swinging site, and that this is the same as being disloyal to loved ones. The reality is the exact opposite of this. Many of us are here exploring in love and consideration together with their life-partner. Others are poly, or single non-monongamists who are hurting noone. Not the same thing as people who are sneaking around here in selfishness and disloyalty | |||
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"Never let your man leave home hungry or horny. Somewhere out there is a whore with a sandwich. If you don’t nail the garden shed roof down well then don’t complain if it blows away. I was in a marriage where the last 5 years there wasnt as much as a hug. Almost drove me to taking my own life back in January 2023 out of loneliness. Some will say watch porn and have a wank. That doesn’t work. Most men need to feel wanted and needed. Recycle yourselves and get out there and live boys and girls. Fuck how people judge. How dare anyone judge from a far without looking inside someone’s home. Today I’ve my own place, can’t always accommodate because my kids stay with me sometimes, other times I’m busy and can’t be assed having anyone over. House is always clean so that doesn’t stop me from accommodating. Lads and ladies, don’t feel lonely and worthless, get yourselves out there, meet and greet others, have manners and respect others and don’t be meeting others just for sex, meet others for the company and kick that fucking loneliness down the road and pass no remarks on those that judge. Today I’m happy and I once again love myself and have confidence. A confidence from within myself, not a confidence others want me to have. " There is a lot to unpack here. Firstly this idea that a woman needs to fuck her man enough so that he doesn't look elsewhere, and it's her fault if he stays because she let him go out horny. That's bullshit. A woman should have sex in exactly one scenario. When SHE wants to and her partner wants to also. There is no responsibility to ensure a man is fully satisfied regardless of her desire or lack thereof. I would have a lot of compassion and sympathy for most of the rest of your post. Nobody in a marriage should have to suffer a complete lack of contact for years I can only imagine the hurt and pain that that would cause. How did it get so bad? Surely your wife knew full well that the partnership couldn't survive like that? It's not reasonable for her to expect a marriage like that to continue and this is certainly well outside the definition of "normal marital relations" that are required by law for a divorce. I'm glad you're in a better place now. I had some mental health issues in my divorce and reading your post made me remember some dark times. I guess my main point here is that a marriage is an intimate relationship, and if the intimacy is gone then the marriage is gone. But at the same time nobody should ever feel forced to have sex with someone when they don't want to, because that is also a path the destruction of mental health. | |||
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"Thanks for your honesty Dom. I don't suppose that's the sort of thing that's easily gotten over. Have you tried counselling? I went for some sessions when I got divorced and found it was good to talk about it. Do you think what your ex said is true? Did you work very long hours and leave her to the vast majority of the parenting? " Dom please don’t feel you have to answer any personal questions or explain yourself to anyone here. | |||
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"Thanks for your honesty Dom. I don't suppose that's the sort of thing that's easily gotten over. Have you tried counselling? I went for some sessions when I got divorced and found it was good to talk about it. Do you think what your ex said is true? Did you work very long hours and leave her to the vast majority of the parenting? " I did online counselling which helped and meditation to learn to discover my body and to love myself. One thing I was told. Put yourself first, not last or in 2nd place because I couldn’t be there for anyone if I couldn’t be there for myself. She is right to a certain degree. I still bottle feed, spoon feed the baby’s, some night feeds and changed a fair share of shitty bums. School drops and pick up when I could. To me I was the provider of the house, make sure bills were paid and no one went without. My children never once asked for something that they couldn’t have been given (within reason) we have more than average family size like yourself lad. I drove lorry’s overseas working a 15 hour day. Wages always into the bank to provide for the house and family. Later on I worked around Ireland driving still a 15 hour day. At the end I was holding down a job doing 40 hours a week and jumping into the van in evenings to start my own work. Including Saturday and Sundays. So maybe I wasn’t there as much as other dads but I’ve a very very close relationship with my children bar the oldest ( that’s another story on its own) my children stood up for me when I decided I’d enough. So was she right? Honestly I tell myself she was very wrong to tell me, my children and family friends and others that she rared our family on her own. Yous can make up your own mind on that. I bought my oldest son a machine at €5500 to set him up, he’s paid me back, I loaned him €3000 for his first car, I loaned my daughter over €1000 for her car insurance and paid for many overseas school trips for must of my children and will do for the younger children coming behind. Am I a good father that provides for his children. My relationship with my children tells me I’m doing a good job as a father. There is a lot more to what went wrong but it’s not for in here but if you want to drop me a message I will explain what went wrong | |||
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"I blame the patriarchy for all these gender divides. Bad marriages, drive people bonkers, get out, save yourself. Have fun. " Holy True... Amen | |||
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"I love married men! Especially love being fingered with their wedding ring finger and cuming hard on it! Oops!! "Technically still married on paper! Does that count? I’m sure I could dig out the wedding ring too if you want to try cumming on that cos I don’t think my ex ever did 😂😂 | |||
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"I love married men! Especially love being fingered with their wedding ring finger and cuming hard on it! Oops!! "Inbox flood incoming! 😂 | |||
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"I love married men! Especially love being fingered with their wedding ring finger and cuming hard on it! Oops!!
Inbox flood incoming! 😂"Always haha.. | |||
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"I’m married! Who cares!" that's what I mean just get on with if u don't like it block if u do like it fuck it lol | |||
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"I’m married! Who cares!" Surely that's your perogative, what you do with your life is upto you 🤷♂️ i was married while on here under another profile, needless to say I'm now divorced lol Each tto their own | |||
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"I’m married! Who cares!" Intresting how many are on here indeed. | |||
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"A friend of mine was telling me about her coffee date today. Nice guy, all green flags in profile and conversation. However, on meeting the chap discovers that he's married. This is a recurring theme and probably the fourth or fifth guy that she's met who has turned out to be married. I'm wondering how many other women experience this? Are there really that many married men on here cheating?" ...to be honest mate...this isn't a good look for you, first of all it's none of your business,second of all...it seems to me that your "friend " seems to be the common denominator ,mabye she should come on the thread and explain what her mo is is selecting these people?. Second hand information tends to be less than reliable in my opinion | |||
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"I’ve posted here before about cheating and being a married guy on this site. Some were sympathetic and measured. Some were disdainful. I get it. As I said then, I love my wife but felt there was a whole side of sex I hadn’t experienced. I also felt I’m getting on and in a few years I won’t have the opportunities I do now. Many people got in touch and said why wouldn’t you just see if your wife would want to do this too. She doesn’t. Bizarrely, I can hold loving my wife and cheating in my head at the same time and feel okay. I do find it messed up that that is so. People suggested counselling. I’ve never been but have explored what the reasons for my behaviour might be (in generic terms). Likely it’s a validation thing. The lack of empathy is concerning too. The strange thing was that no one seemed to suspect me. It may well be that I was suspected and not accused. I don’t discount that. But people seemed to accept the complex web of lies I constructed. I did not meet many. I did social meetings often. I didn’t hide away. I was just careful. I always used protection. My life changed forever through it. I had good experiences and awful ones. I do not regret them. I have a massive panging ache not being able to continue. And not being able to share it. There is a massive loneliness in that. It is deserved no doubt. I recognise the moral void of all of this. I set it out for the sake of sharing as before." Thanks for this. Something to think of | |||
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"I’ve posted here before about cheating and being a married guy on this site. Some were sympathetic and measured. Some were disdainful. I get it. As I said then, I love my wife but felt there was a whole side of sex I hadn’t experienced. I also felt I’m getting on and in a few years I won’t have the opportunities I do now. Many people got in touch and said why wouldn’t you just see if your wife would want to do this too. She doesn’t. Bizarrely, I can hold loving my wife and cheating in my head at the same time and feel okay. I do find it messed up that that is so. People suggested counselling. I’ve never been but have explored what the reasons for my behaviour might be (in generic terms). Likely it’s a validation thing. The lack of empathy is concerning too. The strange thing was that no one seemed to suspect me. It may well be that I was suspected and not accused. I don’t discount that. But people seemed to accept the complex web of lies I constructed. I did not meet many. I did social meetings often. I didn’t hide away. I was just careful. I always used protection. My life changed forever through it. I had good experiences and awful ones. I do not regret them. I have a massive panging ache not being able to continue. And not being able to share it. There is a massive loneliness in that. It is deserved no doubt. I recognise the moral void of all of this. I set it out for the sake of sharing as before." Have you discussed the option of an open relationship with her? | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly swap the Piccassos and Monets for silly contemporary art." Just store them in the vault | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly swap the Piccassos and Monets for silly contemporary art." So Peter Sarstedt's friend Marie Claire may have been a swinger...... Who would have guessed. | |||
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"Having seen a million threads like this , some FAQs might be useful as a summary of all the threads I have read 1. Have you tried talking to your partner ? The first port of call isn’t to set up a fabswingers profile . What with all the risks it would entail such as relationship breakdown , being ostracized by family and friends , impact on children and financial consequences . But guess what , the talking didn’t work so a profile gets set up here 2. Have you tried therapy ? Well if the partner won’t talk to you about it , they’re hardly to going to rush to talk to a stranger about what their genitals get up to , or don’t . If you mean individually , that might help get your confidence back but won’t repair your relationship. 3. Have you considered leaving The first port of call isn’t to set up a fabswingers profile . Most cheaters have considered leaving. What with all the risks fab would entail . But upon weighing up the options separation is not an option for the cheaters here 4. But you’re a cheater , and this site for the morally superior NEM people Says who ? We don’t have all the info . What people share and their bio isn’t all the facts . Do we know if the decision to swing for example is equally agreed or as a result of pressure ? Do we know if all sexual encounters are known about by both partners ? 5. But all the cheaters ruin it for us honest people Weak and Doesn’t require a response 6. I won’t meet cheaters but they keep harassing me Find a system of ensuring a high likelihood of ruling them out . They will not disappear out of this site 7. I won’t meet cheaters Do you also mean at group parties ? Do you scrutinize everyone ? Do you also mean if you fancy them , or is it just a way of point scoring on your bio or the forum . Only a proportion of profiles claiming this actually practise it 8. I know someone who has a good sex life with their partners and still cheats The having their cake and eating it people ? A small portion. The rest , it’s complicated . And if it wasn’t for comparmentalising sex , and trying to keep going , consequences would be unpredictable . Certainly some sex deprived partners would suffer mental health consequences . The argument of what’s better for kids depends on how the parents deal with their sexlessness and what happens when/if the cheating is discovered . 9. Cheating is bad Obviously . So is withholding sex. Maybe not as bad but bad nonetheless 10. You should leave your partner Do you really think cheaters should trust complete strangers and leave their marriage and arrange partial custody of their children and divide up their assets because of the advice of some random person on the internet ? " What you are describing many of us have gone through and not cheated but instead did leave/divide etc. Withdrawal of sex is narcissistic if weaponised. Withdrawal of sex if medical or emotional is completely different and not bad - if the latter is the truth i refer back to many if us having been through this and having left. Many of us change our mind - we get drawn in by the sob story then check ourselves and recheck ourselves. I used to meet cheaters until as a single person I almost had my life pulled apart as the homewrecker - it was someone here that got found out and I was the one left with the damage because the fact is it wasn't my personality that had the ability to compartmentalise, lie and hide - it was there's. If you leave yourself open to be scrutinised you will - I have had men tell me their excuses and try to reason - I won't do it anymore. That is my choice - many who I met previously have tried to get back in contact and think they might be tge exception - they are not - many hide and pretend until one day you see them out playing happy families with a ring on their finger. Your mind goes back to when you were almost publicly made out to be the person in the wrong only you got ahead of it by explaining the facts - now you are the person who outed someone on fab - who is in the wrong. Cheaters are cheaters - not swingers. I get the written confirmation that a marriage is over and people are living separately. I then make no secret that this will be used if anyone comes after me. That is my pathway out - but I have a feeling a lot of cheaters would have something to say about that too. I have a family, a life and a reputation to protect. For couples who have each other that's easier -for single females often having had trauma already it is not. Like it or lump it we all have boundaries that should be respected. | |||
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"If married men lie, or don't disclose their status, that's on them, not on the person that inadvertently met them. It's a valid preference not to want to be part of other people's subterfuge, not to be used for their sexual gratification and then disgarded once they get home. That's not moral superiority, that's self preservation, self care and protection. " Exactly | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly wash/dry out the sheets " Those giant automated washing machines and dryers at Tesco and petrol stations are an absolute god send!! 😂😅😅 | |||
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"I'm married and my lady, or lover is also married. We enjoy our relationship but would love to meet up more. But when we meet another guy for a mfm, all of them are married or in a relationship. There's no drama, and isn't that something everyone wants regardless of their situation??" Same situation. Myself and fwb are both in sexless marriages together for the kids homelife. Meet up for amazing sex when we are horny and it suits. No drama, no judgement, safe fun. | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly wash/dry out the sheets Those giant automated washing machines and dryers at Tesco and petrol stations are an absolute god send!! 😂😅😅" How long do they take to wash and dry, and how much? Thanks! | |||
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"I'm married and my lady, or lover is also married. We enjoy our relationship but would love to meet up more. But when we meet another guy for a mfm, all of them are married or in a relationship. There's no drama, and isn't that something everyone wants regardless of their situation?? Same situation. Myself and fwb are both in sexless marriages together for the kids homelife. Meet up for amazing sex when we are horny and it suits. No drama, no judgement, safe fun." Probably works because you are all in the same circumstances, no one is hosting all the time. No one is blabbing away, and the other person not revealing anything about themselves. The communication is probably more honest between you all. | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly wash/dry out the sheets Those giant automated washing machines and dryers at Tesco and petrol stations are an absolute god send!! 😂😅😅 How long do they take to wash and dry, and how much? Thanks! " €20 to wash and dry an 18kg load of washing. Got two sets of bedding (sheet, duvet, three pillow cases X2) and a very full basket of clothes. | |||
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".... 🤣🤣🤣.... Literally just this second, some married man, inviting himself to meet at my home for raw, hard sex with him. Flips sake, they are relentlessly entitled. " A prick/godshite is going to be one married or single | |||
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"If married men lie, or don't disclose their status, that's on them, not on the person that inadvertently met them. It's a valid preference not to want to be part of other people's subterfuge, not to be used for their sexual gratification and then disgarded once they get home. That's not moral superiority, that's self preservation, self care and protection. " THIS!!!!! | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly wash/dry out the sheets Those giant automated washing machines and dryers at Tesco and petrol stations are an absolute god send!! 😂😅😅 How long do they take to wash and dry, and how much? Thanks! €20 to wash and dry an 18kg load of washing. Got two sets of bedding (sheet, duvet, three pillow cases X2) and a very full basket of clothes." Definitely worth it. | |||
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"It's a pain accommodating and have to constantly wash/dry out the sheets Those giant automated washing machines and dryers at Tesco and petrol stations are an absolute god send!! 😂😅😅 How long do they take to wash and dry, and how much? Thanks! €20 to wash and dry an 18kg load of washing. Got two sets of bedding (sheet, duvet, three pillow cases X2) and a very full basket of clothes. Definitely worth it. " €12 for an 18kg load in Galway. I'll do a load for free though 🤣 Sorry, this is the funniest off topic subject I've seen in a while. There's great drying out today! | |||
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"It's not the wife's fault that you're in a sexless marriage, maybe look instead at how you contributed to the situation." Maybe until your in a sexless marraige, you shouldn't judge who's fault it is!!!??? | |||
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"It's not the wife's fault that you're in a sexless marriage, maybe look instead at how you contributed to the situation. Maybe until your in a sexless marraige, you shouldn't judge who's fault it is!!!???" | |||
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"It's not the wife's fault that you're in a sexless marriage, maybe look instead at how you contributed to the situation. Maybe until your in a sexless marriage, you shouldn't judge who's fault it is!!!???" Jumping the shark much? I don't understand why guys who are cheating feel the need to defend themselves threads like this. Surely you'd have an easier life if you'd just get on with it. The almost total absence of married women speaking up is interesting too. I've no conclusions to draw about it but the silence is notable. | |||
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"It's not the wife's fault that you're in a sexless marriage, maybe look instead at how you contributed to the situation. Maybe until your in a sexless marriage, you shouldn't judge who's fault it is!!!??? Jumping the shark much? I don't understand why guys who are cheating feel the need to defend themselves threads like this. Surely you'd have an easier life if you'd just get on with it. The almost total absence of married women speaking up is interesting too. I've no conclusions to draw about it but the silence is notable. " Throw the old sexless marriage hand grenade in and watch the aftermath  | |||
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"Dies anyone remember the wooden planks for holding up the washing line..... Those were the days "Of course i remember them I still use one .. lol | |||
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"It's not the wife's fault that you're in a sexless marriage, maybe look instead at how you contributed to the situation. Maybe until your in a sexless marriage, you shouldn't judge who's fault it is!!!??? Jumping the shark much? I don't understand why guys who are cheating feel the need to defend themselves threads like this. Surely you'd have an easier life if you'd just get on with it. The almost total absence of married women speaking up is interesting too. I've no conclusions to draw about it but the silence is notable. " I’ve said a few bits! | |||
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"When I saw this thread start knew it would inevitable turn into a cheating hubby's basing thread. Do wife's not cheat atal ? If a woman came on here gave the piece about being in a sexless marraige would she get treated with the same level as disrespect as a man does when he says it. These kind of threads always end up in the same way men are pricks etc etc. It's a bit of a pity to see so many people being judgemental when the bottomline is people on here don't really know the other person behind the profile, I wonder if some of the people on here judging others like if face to face someone formed a negative opinion on them after a short conversation as that's what they're doing here." 👏 👏 | |||
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"Not every marriage has intimacy. People need human touch and affection. It has been said, in order to keep your marriage, one might need the company of another, just to keep that part of you content..be careful and don't hurt anyone." Id say that a marriage without intimacy shouldn't continue because you're right, people do need human touch and affection. Also it's impossible to be sure you don't hurt anyone if you're cheating. Husband's and wives often have a way of finding out. You could well end up badly hurting the person you're supposed to be holding closest. | |||
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" I’ve said a few bits!" That's why I said almost | |||
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"When I saw this thread start knew it would inevitable turn into a cheating hubby's basing thread. Do wife's not cheat atal ? If a woman came on here gave the piece about being in a sexless marraige would she get treated with the same level as disrespect as a man does when he says it. These kind of threads always end up in the same way men are pricks etc etc. It's a bit of a pity to see so many people being judgemental when the bottomline is people on here don't really know the other person behind the profile, I wonder if some of the people on here judging others like if face to face someone formed a negative opinion on them after a short conversation as that's what they're doing here." Men don't bash women on Fab for ANY reason unless they are hurling abuse by private message when they are butthurt over rejection. I can well imagine that if a woman started a similar thread that other women would have no problem expressing their opinions but a lot men wouldn't say anything beyond 'it's not for me' if at all because the just want to get laid and they don't want to lower their chances. To be fair I've seen much worse threads than this and for the most part people have just been expressing their opinions about the subject at hand and that's what a forum is all about. Anyone that doesn't want hear the whole gammut of opinions probably shouldn't join in. Judgement is inevitable. | |||
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"Men occasionally bash women on Fab, if they have no interest in you, or they know they have no chance, the mask can drop and they can deliver a few kicks. " there is a name for that sort of man sad excuse of a man | |||
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"Men occasionally bash women on Fab, if they have no interest in you, or they know they have no chance, the mask can drop and they can deliver a few kicks. " Women can also do the same thing but yes I'd imagine the majority that do it are men | |||
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"Not every marriage has intimacy. People need human touch and affection. It has been said, in order to keep your marriage, one might need the company of another, just to keep that part of you content..be careful and don't hurt anyone. Id say that a marriage without intimacy shouldn't continue because you're right, people do need human touch and affection. Also it's impossible to be sure you don't hurt anyone if you're cheating. Husband's and wives often have a way of finding out. You could well end up badly hurting the person you're supposed to be holding closest." At last , someone speaking sense, AWESOME !!! am not into cheater's ,BUT am certainly not an Angel, but those that do cheat , each to their own etc etc ,have the capability of totally shattering people's lives, | |||
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"The sexless marriage argument is not a valid case for cheating. Nobody is entitled to sex, even within a relationship. If a partner is manipulated into it then its coercion or assault. Nobody needs sex to stay alive. I was widowed young and was completely celibate between 2009 and Sept of 2023. So that's about 15 years. There was a lot of wanking! I love being in a relationship now and take nothing for granted. Either address the problem or exit the relationship. Cheating is never a valid answer. There is no excuse. " I should also say I don't really care, its very clearly stated in our profile. Married people stay away from us and we'll stay away from you. I don't like it that married people are here. I know I can't change it. But I don't have to like it. | |||
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"The sexless marriage argument is not a valid case for cheating. Nobody is entitled to sex, even within a relationship. If a partner is manipulated into it then its coercion or assault. Nobody needs sex to stay alive. I was widowed young and was completely celibate between 2009 and Sept of 2023. So that's about 15 years. There was a lot of wanking! I love being in a relationship now and take nothing for granted. Either address the problem or exit the relationship. Cheating is never a valid answer. There is no excuse. I should also say I don't really care, its very clearly stated in our profile. Married people stay away from us and we'll stay away from you. I don't like it that married people are here. I know I can't change it. But I don't have to like it. " Nobody asked. | |||
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"The sexless marriage argument is not a valid case for cheating. Nobody is entitled to sex, even within a relationship. If a partner is manipulated into it then its coercion or assault. Nobody needs sex to stay alive. I was widowed young and was completely celibate between 2009 and Sept of 2023. So that's about 15 years. There was a lot of wanking! I love being in a relationship now and take nothing for granted. Either address the problem or exit the relationship. Cheating is never a valid answer. There is no excuse. I should also say I don't really care, its very clearly stated in our profile. Married people stay away from us and we'll stay away from you. I don't like it that married people are here. I know I can't change it. But I don't have to like it. Nobody asked." Oh the irony | |||
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"The sexless marriage argument is not a valid case for cheating. Nobody is entitled to sex, even within a relationship. If a partner is manipulated into it then its coercion or assault. Nobody needs sex to stay alive. I was widowed young and was completely celibate between 2009 and Sept of 2023. So that's about 15 years. There was a lot of wanking! I love being in a relationship now and take nothing for granted. Either address the problem or exit the relationship. Cheating is never a valid answer. There is no excuse. I should also say I don't really care, its very clearly stated in our profile. Married people stay away from us and we'll stay away from you. I don't like it that married people are here. I know I can't change it. But I don't have to like it. " I don't like that overweight people are here. I can.. No...scrap that. I love everyone. We are here once peeps so chill and enjoy | |||
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"I’m married! Who cares!" · Makes a note in his vintage green velvetine Smythson™ notebook. 🦋 | |||
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"There are brilliant replies & opinions regards this thread but it's simply really if a person doesn't want to meet a person that cheats ..don't ..if a person don't mind meeting a person that cheats..well then they don't mind meeting them , everyone is here for their own reasons but every individual here has the choice wether to meet them or not , this jungle will always have different kinds in it but as l said everyone here has the choice to meet them or not, no judgement, fierce important but the choice is yours ." 👍🏻 | |||
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