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Struggling to actually make plans with people....

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By *laudshaen OP   Couple
14 weeks ago

between sligo and leitrim

So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be??

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By *essieandMessyCouple
14 weeks ago

Northside

Standards?😂

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By *og-ManMan
14 weeks ago

somewhere

Life gets in the way for everyone at some stage

Generalisation here but Id imagine its easy to have sex with other men on sex apps as gay men don't usually come with all the baggage a male/ female couple do like kids so they can just literally fuck and go

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By *panishRebelMan
14 weeks ago

Alicante Spain, and Cork City Ireland


"So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be?? "

I would say, in my own case, it's down to opertunity. Mostly fab is a game of cultivation. You build a little trust, build a little anticipation and and then hope for the best.

Where I live, I do get off the cuff messages to meet. This happens more when I post. It's probably to do with being active.

There's nothing wrong with spontaneous and there's nothing wrong with the slow burn.

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By *matorMan
13 weeks ago

Craigavon


"So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be?? "

I'll pop round in 5

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By *otownkid1967Man
13 weeks ago

Portlaoise

Kids , real life it always gets in the way. Your filters are fairly tight and others are probably the same.Its just the way of the world here on fab.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
13 weeks ago

South Down


"So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be?? "

Because they're facing the same challenges as you and you're at the mercy of the people you're interested in being able to be spontaneous at the same time you decide to

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
13 weeks ago

East / North, Cork


"Standards?😂"

This is the right answer.

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By *osyRedLipsWoman
13 weeks ago

Kildare


"So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be??

Because they're facing the same challenges as you and you're at the mercy of the people you're interested in being able to be spontaneous at the same time you decide to "

Exactly just because you're feeling spontaneous and in mood doesn't mean people can drop everything to meet you. You're looking to meet single ladies a lot us are single Mammys we just can't meet all the time and definitely not without notice. Maybe try getting to social and meet potential people that way

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By *antra MassageMan
13 weeks ago

South Side.

It might help, if you establish a friendship with a few fabbers, local to you. That way you're all in the same area, with not too far to travel. With the best will in the world,a small circle of fab friends,no children, have car, free time, I only get to meet fabbers a few times in a year.

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By *laudshaen OP   Couple
13 weeks ago

between sligo and leitrim

All good points..... I wonder would a thread or telegram group etc be worthwhile, so basically when any of us find ourselves with some unplanned free time we can pop up a post and see what other members find themselves with the same last minute/short notice availability and urge..... obviously it would be inundated with single men, in fairness, as a man myself, I can understand how it is we can always seem to make time lol

I know there is the meets feature but is it used??

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
13 weeks ago

South Dublin

Sure there’s plenty who can

Meet at short notice, sure spontaneousness is always good thing

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By *asual777Man
13 weeks ago

i travel all over

I have used fabguys and swingers

Never Grindr but I assume fabguys is similar

I think there are a couple of factors

1. Safety : guys would go into an another guy’s house whom they have never met or spoken to before . There is a feeling of ‘I can look after myself’. As we all know there have been some terrible outcomes as a result but , this is something men do which generally women don’t . If I get on well with a woman on fab there needs to be a social usually and a hotel booking usually and that isn’t happening without a bit of planning

2. The sex lead up : I think often men get horny and want a release . With women there probably needs to be more of an emotional or psychological attraction rather than just a dick to enjoy . The latter takes time

Because men are less worried about safety and less fussy , in general , about the source of sexual release , in my opinion , Grindr type hook ups are rare. However they do happen

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By *arl2020Man
13 weeks ago

ENNISKILLEN

Well you gave single men blocked ,I'm always up gir a spontaneous meet but others srnt but like someone said previous real life gets in the way sometimes

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By *hynot2399Couple
13 weeks ago

Sligo


"So we all have default world lives that take precedence over playtime, but only our case we always seem to have something come up or are skint or can't commit for various reasons, yet, usually when we decide to be spontaneous and just try sort a hook up it goes to the finish line

but never manages to cross it.... why can't hetero people and swingers be as spontaneous as users of Grindr seem to allegedly be?? "

👀

👂

...🌹

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By *laudshaen OP   Couple
13 weeks ago

between sligo and leitrim


"Well you gave single men blocked ,I'm always up gir a spontaneous meet but others srnt but like someone said previous real life gets in the way sometimes "

That's correct, no offence to single men lol

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By *ustBoWoman
13 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I won't do spontaneous meets even when I am meeting. For a few reasons the main one being the one time I did meet someone pretty quickly after only chatting for a short time it was the worst and scariest meet I had and it was only a social. I dread to think what would have happened if I had agreed to meet him for sex.

And as said above just because ye are free at a particular time does not mean others are or that they will drop everything to meet ye. People have lives outside of here and in most cases that will rightly take priority.

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