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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "I'll be keeping an eye on this thread & try to take some notes down meself.  | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "I actually think the more you plan it the more it's destined to be awkward...I would agree they can be very interview ISH ..I think the most comfortable I've felt was sitting in a car with two take away coffees looking at the ocean...maybe the less formal the venue the better?? | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. " Meet at Woodies, leave with woodies | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. " That's a new one on me, I must try that... Woodies, Blackpool... | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. Meet at Woodies, leave with woodies" This is actually genius, every time I go in there I wander around talking to myself, I might as well have someone sane with me | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials." I'm starting to realize the mental effort it takes arranging them  that sucks, though it's their loss 3 | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials. I'm starting to realize the mental effort it takes arranging them that sucks, though it's their loss 3 "I love a good chat but it's just become exhausting. So I'm just going to lay low and sit and watch the world go by. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "Well Scarlett, if you and I met for a social we would have plenty to chat about. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "1 on 1 are interviews! I tried doing them and have quit! 1 out of 5 will show up! That's girl meeting a girl in a coffee shop, in an area covered in garda monitored CCTV cameras. I'd venture you meeting a guy 1 to 1 will have less no shows but still would be 50/50. So the reality is the best meets for these would be you doing your normal things, like shopping any kind, walk the dog (if you got one) walk in public park, beach is a hit & miss for security reasons. And they wouldn't show up anyways, cinema works, no show go anyway to a film you wanted to see anyways! But I wouldn't be going out of your way in any way shape or form. Forget the nails, hair, tan, make-up. Luckily when I was let down I had himself to take me off out to cheer me up. | |||
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"A trip to a cinema....you dont have to talk Now that its summer....a walk on a beach Lunch with a visit to an Art Gallery or Museum " Yes to 2 but not the beach, they wouldn't show up! But on that theme, country fairs, would work, always lots on every weekend. Public but everyone else is busy doing their own thing. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x I actually think the more you plan it the more it's destined to be awkward...I would agree they can be very interview ISH ..I think the most comfortable I've felt was sitting in a car with two take away coffees looking at the ocean...maybe the less formal the venue the better??"Agreed I wouldn't be spending too much money or effort! Simpler the better, and conversation never seems to be an issue once they show up! The great thing about a mass social is the people are in the room, pub etc now that's 95% of the battle over, just go talk to them. If it's a fail you have 100 more to try. | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. " Or larger garden centres! Some have coffee shops in them! So even if they don't show up, you went to buy some bits for the garden, have a coffee then home no harm done, or they show up and you had a social, but regardless it's not wasted time. Something none of us can afford to waste. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "• Not all are like interviews. Some are practical tests  and others are 'run the gauntlet' type sessions.
There are a few others too...but I cannot say within the hallowed wood-panelled walls of this thread. | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials." Was it, F F or F M or F couple that no showed? I tried and tried, I've quit them now, planned out a calender of large socials and go 100% this route, 1 to 1 are worthless and depressing. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "I've only done one and I had a ball. Travelled for it so I treated it like a little weekend break. Made a good friend out of it. My advise is to treat it like your doing something for yourself. In this case we had talked a little while before so was like going to meet someone I knew already. | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials. Was it, F F or F M or F couple that no showed? I tried and tried, I've quit them now, planned out a calender of large socials and go 100% this route, 1 to 1 are worthless and depressing. " All males. Sometimes I may just have a free couple of hours and I'll put it up. So I'm at the stage no second chances. And not really going to bother looking for them.anymore. Socials are the only way to go. | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials. Was it, F F or F M or F couple that no showed? I tried and tried, I've quit them now, planned out a calender of large socials and go 100% this route, 1 to 1 are worthless and depressing. All males. Sometimes I may just have a free couple of hours and I'll put it up. So I'm at the stage no second chances. And not really going to bother looking for them.anymore. Socials are the only way to go." I had a nosey through your profile sorry! And just have to laugh at guys going on about girls never meeting or no girls want to meet up! Your sexy and stunning and still they hadn't the balls to show up x 3. I'm 100% in the same frame of mind myself. 1 to 1 is not worth my time or effort. Why would you give anyone a second chance. It's the height of disrespect, love yourself enough to know they had their shot and blew it.
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. Meet at Woodies, leave with woodies This is actually genius, every time I go in there I wander around talking to myself, I might as well have someone sane with me " No one would ever suspect anything untoward was happening, while lingering over the compost or the toolshed. | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. Meet at Woodies, leave with woodies This is actually genius, every time I go in there I wander around talking to myself, I might as well have someone sane with me No one would ever suspect anything untoward was happening, while lingering over the compost or the toolshed. " Meet me at the succulents | |||
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"I enjoy one to one socials. I usually prefer to go for a stroll somewhere nice. Walking and talking is often less awkward than sitting across a table in maybe not the most atmospheric venue at some half way point. These days I find myself having more coffee meets and walks with local people through apps rather than fab as fab is so spread out and I feel like if I'm gonna drive 50-100km then that time and money is better spent on a group social event." You need to do passing thru socials, on your way to/from a destination. Break up the journey. | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. " The only problem with woodies is that I'll get distracted by tools and then possibly distracted by my own tool... | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "Think a simple coffee or cold drink for those that don't drink hot drinks and let the conversation flow naturally. Treat it as a catch up. No expectations afterwards | |||
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"I’m a very happy go lucky fella, confident and well able to chat to anyone. However, I do get nervous before a meet, afterwards, you can’t shut me up but I’d love to go to a social where’s there’s loads of people but I get nervous, a bit embarrassed and I hate walking into a room full of people that I don’t know or have never met before on my own. Same in real life. It’s just that initial experience of walking in and not knowing anyone. Yes I know you mingle about and get chatting but it’s just that initial feeling that always puts me off. I don’t want to get dolled up and stick out like a spare prick. It’s just, for me, puts me off having to go through that nervousness. And before anyone says everyone went through that, a lot of folk have meet up previously or are in chat groups before. I did go with a lady when I was previously here and every man and couple made a beeline for her and I was just left out of the conversations and went home about an hour later. It’s not a poor me, poor me but I hope people see the other side of large group settings too. "With 657 verification ! I think you’re doing something right on here , I look forward to reading your book on the subject enjoy | |||
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"My last two weren't that great ..first one decided to tell me he was married the morning of the meet and wanted to meet somewhere else that what was planned so he wouldn't been seen..the second one rushed off to meet someone else which I only discovered when he didn't show my veri btw ha e no problem with bit half an hour later showed a Veri from the second person he meet that same day...so tbh I think I'll stick to just the socials as well too many cowboy's lately for my liking.." Go with the Indians then !
Everyone has their own agenda! Definitely a large social evens up the playing field and you have choices and people move in and out! So it may be quiet now but at least you walk out with something from the occasion, even if it's just a few verifications. But next time you walk in it will hopefully get a little less nerve wracking and you still enjoy a night out. | |||
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"My last two weren't that great ..first one decided to tell me he was married the morning of the meet and wanted to meet somewhere else that what was planned so he wouldn't been seen..the second one rushed off to meet someone else which I only discovered when he didn't show my veri btw ha e no problem with bit half an hour later showed a Veri from the second person he meet that same day...so tbh I think I'll stick to just the socials as well too many cowboy's lately for my liking.. Go with the Indians then !
Everyone has their own agenda! Definitely a large social evens up the playing field and you have choices and people move in and out! So it may be quiet now but at least you walk out with something from the occasion, even if it's just a few verifications. But next time you walk in it will hopefully get a little less nerve wracking and you still enjoy a night out. "You should write a booklet on the does and don'ts  | |||
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"I’m a very happy go lucky fella, confident and well able to chat to anyone. However, I do get nervous before a meet, afterwards, you can’t shut me up but I’d love to go to a social where’s there’s loads of people but I get nervous, a bit embarrassed and I hate walking into a room full of people that I don’t know or have never met before on my own. Same in real life. It’s just that initial experience of walking in and not knowing anyone. Yes I know you mingle about and get chatting but it’s just that initial feeling that always puts me off. I don’t want to get dolled up and stick out like a spare prick. It’s just, for me, puts me off having to go through that nervousness. And before anyone says everyone went through that, a lot of folk have meet up previously or are in chat groups before. I did go with a lady when I was previously here and every man and couple made a beeline for her and I was just left out of the conversations and went home about an hour later. It’s not a poor me, poor me but I hope people see the other side of large group settings too. With 657 verification ! I think you’re doing something right on here , I look forward to reading your book on the subject enjoy "I think you’re mixing me up with some else. I don’t have 657 verifications. I’m actually in single digits  | |||
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"With 657 verification ! I think you’re doing something right on here , I look forward to reading your book on the subject enjoy " Majority of my verifications are from social events, and some are from play parties. I'd say I've done less than 10 one on one social meets during my 3 years on here. Would like to experience them a little more to see how I feel about doing them, hence my reasoning for this forum post. Get some tips on how best to approach things. | |||
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"I’m a very happy go lucky fella, confident and well able to chat to anyone. However, I do get nervous before a meet, afterwards, you can’t shut me up but I’d love to go to a social where’s there’s loads of people but I get nervous, a bit embarrassed and I hate walking into a room full of people that I don’t know or have never met before on my own. Same in real life. It’s just that initial experience of walking in and not knowing anyone. Yes I know you mingle about and get chatting but it’s just that initial feeling that always puts me off. I don’t want to get dolled up and stick out like a spare prick. It’s just, for me, puts me off having to go through that nervousness. And before anyone says everyone went through that, a lot of folk have meet up previously or are in chat groups before. I did go with a lady when I was previously here and every man and couple made a beeline for her and I was just left out of the conversations and went home about an hour later. It’s not a poor me, poor me but I hope people see the other side of large group settings too. "I am with you on the nervousness prior to a one on one social meet. I am a confident woman generally, but just overthink things when it's one on one situation. Lots of people get nervous before social events for the valid reasons you outlined. I prefer events though, if you're not feeling it with someone you can excuse yourself a little easier than a one on one meet situation. Plus events feel more relaxed to me. I can understand it isn't the same for everyone though. | |||
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"They kind of are interviews. We try to keep this community safe for each other, so we can be free to be out full sexual selves. We all rely on other people's verifications to out unsavoury characters. If I was verifying men I don't know, I would totally lean into the job interview aspect! Id want to make sure only good eggs are showing up at play parties and such. " Impossible to judge whether someone is a serial killer from a coffee meet. I take zero responsibility for the safety of others here, a verification we give only reflects how the person presented at coffee, and that they turned up and appeared as described in their profile. | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "Your in Dublin! You have the zoo, olympia, i opened up event write and their is a singles BBQ sat, west coast cooler brunch, token straight- queer comedy night, a techno rave on sat, merge dance event Sunday at the button factory | |||
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"PoshSardine....dont let the bad experience put you off If you decide to go again then join the chat group to get to know names and it's always handy to have abuddy that can walk in with you and set up a base in there that you can move around from " I second this. The chat group before hand can really be the key when your attending alone. | |||
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"PoshSardine....dont let the bad experience put you off If you decide to go again then join the chat group to get to know names and it's always handy to have abuddy that can walk in with you and set up a base in there that you can move around from I second this. The chat group before hand can really be the key when your attending alone. " I'd third this.  | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials." wishing I was closer to you as definitely would not turn down the chance of meeting you xxxxx John | |||
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"Just open event write! It's got 21 pages of things in Dublin this weekend alone! " You're so good. Will check it out | |||
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"I've never had a one on one social that felt like an interview. If I did I would probably just cut is short and leave. " I am the one doing the "interviewing" at one on one meets. Just asking lots of questions :| I was trying to figure out if that's the way it's done usually or what other ways is there to approach it. I don't mind people asking me questions. I'd waffle away for ages lol I guess I was trying to see if I'm doing it right or not lol before I arrange some meets. Probably overthinking it lol | |||
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"You could always try a quick video call with them first to wipe away any nerves? It’s less daunting and safer too " That's a good idea. Video calls dont suit me, I prefer to meet someone in person, usually outdoors for a walk or takeaway tea. I find that generally a relaxed way to say hello and check the vibes and attraction levels. Don't overthink it, I treat it like meeting a possible new friend. it's not like a date where there might be some commitment expected lol! | |||
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"I've never had a one on one social that felt like an interview. If I did I would probably just cut is short and leave. I am the one doing the "interviewing" at one on one meets. Just asking lots of questions :| I was trying to figure out if that's the way it's done usually or what other ways is there to approach it. I don't mind people asking me questions. I'd waffle away for ages lol I guess I was trying to see if I'm doing it right or not lol before I arrange some meets. Probably overthinking it lol " Ah right
I just see them as a chat to be fair I usually have chatted to someone on here for a while before I meet so I'm fairly comfortable that they are who they say before we meet .
The only time I didn't and met someone after only chatting for a day it was my worst ever social and I wish I had maybe done more of an interview with him because I would have run away as fast as I could if I had known his agenda and his opinion of the women who are on fab. | |||
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"I think the bigger the group the less “interview” style it can get. Although some people I just don’t vibe with at all so the conversation doesn’t flow and it does end up being interview style It’s also handier in a bigger group as if I involuntarily zone out momentarily it’s mostly not noticed lol - Mrs" Agree with less interview style in group setting. Would like to transfer that over to one on one meets. | |||
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I can't believe so many girls and couples get stood up though! | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "walks on beach. Bowling suppose be fun lol few drinks somewhere to losen the mood | |||
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"We were arranging a social meet lately and ikea was mentioned as a midway point so we said for the laugh yea sure why not. It actually was great craic walking around looking at everything while chatting away. " And if ya didn't like them you could take one of the hidden short cuts out | |||
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"Last 3 coffee meets that were planned were cancelled. Not by myself so I think I give up on the one on one socials." It's stupid behaviour like that which makes everything more difficult for everyone else. I would definitely not be not turning up for a coffee with you! | |||
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"Woodies is handy, five minute meet and greet over the plants. " i red this "woodies in hand" and thought "right where are this plants?" teacher was right "needs to read things twice" | |||
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"I like having social meets that are not solely based at a cafe. Picnics Museums Galleries Tours Walks Gigs Some sort of activity can be fun. Had a visit to a sauna that was hot in more ways than one "Jaysus I'll meet ya myself | |||
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"I like having social meets that are not solely based at a cafe. Picnics Museums Galleries Tours Walks Gigs Some sort of activity can be fun. Had a visit to a sauna that was hot in more ways than one
Jaysus I'll meet ya myself "Whenever the 2 of you are ready | |||
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"In a way one on one social meet and interview share a similar purpose: you want to know/get the best idea on who the other person is. Personally I never had the “interview” feeling when meet somebody socially." Not even when they asked you to describe your strengths and weaknesses? | |||
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"In a way one on one social meet and interview share a similar purpose: you want to know/get the best idea on who the other person is. Personally I never had the “interview” feeling when meet somebody socially. Not even when they asked you to describe your strengths and weaknesses?" I'd say my biggest weakness is that I just care too much, you know? | |||
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"In a way one on one social meet and interview share a similar purpose: you want to know/get the best idea on who the other person is. Personally I never had the “interview” feeling when meet somebody socially. Not even when they asked you to describe your strengths and weaknesses?" Luckily never got that question in a social meeting. | |||
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"In a way one on one social meet and interview share a similar purpose: you want to know/get the best idea on who the other person is. Personally I never had the “interview” feeling when meet somebody socially. Not even when they asked you to describe your strengths and weaknesses? I'd say my biggest weakness is that I just care too much, you know? " Can't say I do | |||
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"Absolutely love meeting 1 to 1gettibg to know that person a little more see if there's a spark etc I alway show if I arrange but yeah can't be very tough for the ladies for sure and then soon as someone dosent show kinda makes it harder for the genuine guy" The decent guys on here find it harder with the time wasters for sure  | |||
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"Absolutely love meeting 1 to 1gettibg to know that person a little more see if there's a spark etc I alway show if I arrange but yeah can't be very tough for the ladies for sure and then soon as someone dosent show kinda makes it harder for the genuine guy The decent guys on here find it harder with the time wasters for sure "I dunno I figure the time wasters and tyre kickers make the rest of us guys look shiney in comparison. That's the thing about a low bar. It takes a lot less effort to clear it. | |||
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"Absolutely love meeting 1 to 1gettibg to know that person a little more see if there's a spark etc I alway show if I arrange but yeah can't be very tough for the ladies for sure and then soon as someone dosent show kinda makes it harder for the genuine guy The decent guys on here find it harder with the time wasters for sure
I dunno I figure the time wasters and tyre kickers make the rest of us guys look shiney in comparison.
That's the thing about a low bar. It takes a lot less effort to clear it.
"Am the Opposite I get nervous in group meetings , Am chilled one on one , So if you factor carrot cake in and an Americano my treat Scarlett I will put you at ease ? | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "Take away coffee, walk along a beach, in a park, suggest sitting down for a bite to eat if all going well,... | |||
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"Why do they feel like interviews? Mostly meet people at events, but would like to venture outside my comfort zone. What are some ideas to do or things to chat about on a social meet? What not to do lol x "I absolutely agree with you Scarlett. Those one on one social meets they are like interviews somehow... I gave them up. Grab and go coffee works for me the best last time. Isn't it one of this oldstylish things when a man invited a woman for a walk in the park on Sunday afternoon hahahaha Anyway, coffee and a walk can give you lots of opportunities for good conversation. | |||
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