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Polycule in Ireland

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By *atureSensualgent OP   Man
28 weeks ago

Somewhere near

Morning all,

I've been reading an article about polycule in the nytimes.

And it's struck me that this type of lifestyle would depend a lot on the regional society it's exposed to. Now I'm not saying irish society is backwards or anything like that I can see many positive changes in the youth out there 20s plus. I'm thinking more about the middle aged male orientated irish society in general. CNM is still very much a ridiculed lifestyle here. Also the "man wearing the pants" mentality is still a thing.

I grew up in a compassionatly cold home and witnessed a typical Irish family life where dad handed over the wages to a stay at home mum, who in reality had full control of our life made all the daily life decisions when you think about it. So a polycure lifestyle could be easily adapted to those educated and mentally strong with themselves and their existing life partners.

Ok these are just my thoughts after reading the article in the new York Times on polycule.

What thoughts are out there

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
28 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

Had to Google polycule... But I like it. We've always kinda been the black sheep and lived outside societal norms so that stuff doesn't bother us much. Live life to your own rules and if anyone has a problem then it's their problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I lived within a trouple for many years . It was often questioned why the third lady lived with us but never explained cos really it was no one’s business . It’s not very accepted in Ireland to have any sort of poly relationship. It’s just not the norm to people and they struggle to accept it . Worked for us for 8 years til another joined and left with the only male involved . Led me here really as my views differ from most monogamous relationships in Ireland currently. Who knows maybe in time people will loosen the restraints on how things look to them and what’s acceptable .

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By *atureSensualgent OP   Man
28 weeks ago

Somewhere near

I'm also curious about the female matriarchal element of the particular article I read. Like this polycule lifestyle would need boundaries within it self, as they have their own socially accepted norms within their group. For them the women generally set the boundaries and monitor the group, so to speak. While the men, are happy with this setup, they are not weak minded I believe they are actually very confident and strong in themselves.

The actual article is called

"Lessons from a 20-person polycule" how they set boundaries and navigate jealousy. It's in the New York Times page if anyones interested in the read.

Thank you for your comments BTW

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
28 weeks ago

South Down

I read the article last night and I'll be truthful, just reading about it made my brain hurt. I felt like I needed a diagram or some sort of crib sheet, and it all felt a bit like hard work.

The "feelings are not facts" part made me uncomfortable for several reasons.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
28 weeks ago

East / North, Cork


"I read the article last night and I'll be truthful, just reading about it made my brain hurt. I felt like I needed a diagram or some sort of crib sheet, and it all felt a bit like hard work.

The "feelings are not facts" part made me uncomfortable for several reasons."

I found the article and I thought much the same. It's hard to read and understand. I feel it would have been better written by someone from the outside looking in as an editorial rather than the insiders own voice. Seems like a little bit of being radical to be radical, and I'd have liked a bit more about how it feels rather than seemingly attempting to tick off all the buzzwords (and inventing a few new ones).

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By *atureSensualgent OP   Man
28 weeks ago

Somewhere near


"I read the article last night and I'll be truthful, just reading about it made my brain hurt. I felt like I needed a diagram or some sort of crib sheet, and it all felt a bit like hard work.

The "feelings are not facts" part made me uncomfortable for several reasons."

Well I did read it twice second time round understood more, but I have been reading up on this anyway.

Also comes across as a very U.S. structured story, like the new type terminologies used.

Found it interesting enough to wonder how it would work socially in this part of the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment tho

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By *atureSensualgent OP   Man
28 weeks ago

Somewhere near


"I read the article last night and I'll be truthful, just reading about it made my brain hurt. I felt like I needed a diagram or some sort of crib sheet, and it all felt a bit like hard work.

The "feelings are not facts" part made me uncomfortable for several reasons.

I found the article and I thought much the same. It's hard to read and understand. I feel it would have been better written by someone from the outside looking in as an editorial rather than the insiders own voice. Seems like a little bit of being radical to be radical, and I'd have liked a bit more about how it feels rather than seemingly attempting to tick off all the buzzwords (and inventing a few new ones). "

Yes agreed, also it did seem all pros too I'm sure there are negative point as with all social structures, None mentioned really!

Still thank you for taking the time and your comment.

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