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Do's & Don'ts of a social M&G

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By *!nksgirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

IRELAND

I get many mails from fabbers who are going to their 1st social M&G & they want some advice. So it gets me thinking... what are your do''s & don'ts regarding a Social M&G?

P!nksgirl

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Don't drink too much

Don't expect sex

Do dress appropriately for a public area

Join the chat group beforehand so that you've been chatting to people going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont get messy d*unk and offer large sums of money to people to sleep with you

Yes, this happened!

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

Be polite and chat with everyone if possible

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

Newry

Don't be a sex pest

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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham


"Dont get messy d*unk and offer large sums of money to people to sleep with you

Yes, this happened!

"

Sorry about that, won't happen again

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By *ethmeonfireMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Don’t touch people without consent or kiss without consent

Anytime I have done that is either by asking or by getting invited.

Also for the love of god, don’t discuss religion and politics at fab meets

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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

Don't drink to much

Don't be a knob

Don't expect sex

Don't be a jealous cu*t

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By *uxomplayCouple
over a year ago

Liberties

Don’t make the conversation about their exact jobs, where they live exactly etc.

We have had people asking this and when you are honest they then go on to tell you names of colleagues and neighbours etc.

Be discreet.

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

From a single guys point of view.

Go with an open mind.

Approach people you don't know and introduce yourself.

If your nervous just say so and don't worry. People understand because they've been there too.

Read the room. Sometimes you might get a vibe that it's time to move on so be prepared for that. It's nothing personal.

Think ahead. That connection you made might not be on the cards tonight but if you play it cool you still made a connection and you can stay in touch.

Some people might not want to go to bed with you but they might make good friends so think about networking and getting the know the scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If in doubt get yer lad out

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"If in doubt don't get yer lad out "

Fixed that

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork

Try and speak to those who look like they are struggling, and bring them in rather than sticking in your friendgroup. Some people find new social situations really hard and really appreciate a kind word.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Try and speak to those who look like they are struggling, and bring them in rather than sticking in your friendgroup. Some people find new social situations really hard and really appreciate a kind word."

This is excellent advice...no one should be left on their own ...its very easy to say hello

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By *ickedtiesWoman
over a year ago

limerick


"Try and speak to those who look like they are struggling, and bring them in rather than sticking in your friendgroup. Some people find new social situations really hard and really appreciate a kind word."
probably the best suggestion here .. our first social was a bit awkward until a very kind lady made conversation and we settled right in after that

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Do:

1. Utilize the group chat (not every event will have one, but those that do GREATLY help to settle the nerves a little if you take your time to interact in them) - do not be a potato master - chat in the group chat. It HELPS!

2. Show up sober (one or two drinks for Dutch courage are okay, 4h of straight drinking and showing up black out d*unk - absolutely not okay).

3. It helps newbies if they arrive early - more space to mingle with others and emptier room that is filling up around you is less intimidating rather than waking into a room full of strangers and not knowing where to turn and who to approach.

4. Dress to the theme - don't be afraid to pull out a quirky costume or be a bit more dressy if there's a theme. Joggers, dirty clothes, football tops usually aren't a welcome attire.

5. Do be approachable. Even if someone approaches you and you don't find them attractive - don't turn your nose at them. They might just want to be friendly and have no intentions to have sex with you. They might just have a friend who you may fancy that they will introduce you to. You will always attract more bees with honey

6. Do be respectful to everyone.

7. If it's a verified only event and you bump into someone you know IRL - don't be scared of them - they've went through the same vetting process, they're out for the same reason - to meet new people.

8. Do drink responsibly - being completely written off isn't attractive to anyone.

Don't:

1. Use or bring dr u gs. Under no circumstances is that okay.

2. Never touch or kiss ANYONE without expressed consent. People who go to socials aren't fair game and aren't looking to be sexually assaulted by randos. Respect that.

3. Be an asshole. Leave your ego at the door and if you don't like someone- just avoid them and focus on people you do like.

4. Don't have public arguments with your other half - deal with your issues at home.

5. Don't expect miracles to happen- it's just a night out after all and it will mostly depend on how you choose to spend it.

6. Don't be aggressive - any kind of aggression is never tolerated at any reputable organizers event (matter of fact this and points 1, 2 & 3 if broken will likely land you into a permanent blacklist from either one or most organizers events).

7. Stay silent - events are a safe space for like minded people, so if you have any concerns about anything that is going on that you feel shouldn't- do let organizers know immediately, so they can deal with it.

8. Don't expect sex. Socials are exactly what it says on the box - social.

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By *ealcoupleCouple
over a year ago


"Try and speak to those who look like they are struggling, and bring them in rather than sticking in your friendgroup. Some people find new social situations really hard and really appreciate a kind word."

This is lovey advice to see as we are currently trying to pluck the courage to get our 1st M&G under the belt.

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

My advice would be super open minded all walks of life are at these socials...

I've been too lots of socials and yet still to even get a hello from many people who have attended many socials I have went too...

So best to be very approachable and chatty ... I always make the point to go mingle and say hello to people that may look little nervous or alone there's nothing worse when feeling left out...

Do read the room though sometimes people just aren't that into you and that's ok...still say hello though you never know who might end up liking you back...

Best to just treat a social like a night out at the pub with many people who are into the same things....

It's certainly not a sex party or play party so don't be expecting that either...

Just remember try and keep alittle sober it's good to remember a social for good verifications that follow xx

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By *affa31Woman
over a year ago

Galway

I would add to ask the host to introduce you to some people if you’re nervous or don’t know anyone. It’s literally their job to make sure no one is being left out or feeling unwelcome (unless you’re being an asshole/creep!)

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By *ealcoupleCouple
over a year ago


"Do:

1. Utilize the group chat (not every event will have one, but those that do GREATLY help to settle the nerves a little if you take your time to interact in them) - do not be a potato master - chat in the group chat. It HELPS!

2. Show up sober (one or two drinks for Dutch courage are okay, 4h of straight drinking and showing up black out d*unk - absolutely not okay).

3. It helps newbies if they arrive early - more space to mingle with others and emptier room that is filling up around you is less intimidating rather than waking into a room full of strangers and not knowing where to turn and who to approach.

4. Dress to the theme - don't be afraid to pull out a quirky costume or be a bit more dressy if there's a theme. Joggers, dirty clothes, football tops usually aren't a welcome attire.

5. Do be approachable. Even if someone approaches you and you don't find them attractive - don't turn your nose at them. They might just want to be friendly and have no intentions to have sex with you. They might just have a friend who you may fancy that they will introduce you to. You will always attract more bees with honey

6. Do be respectful to everyone.

7. If it's a verified only event and you bump into someone you know IRL - don't be scared of them - they've went through the same vetting process, they're out for the same reason - to meet new people.

8. Do drink responsibly - being completely written off isn't attractive to anyone.

Don't:

1. Use or bring dr u gs. Under no circumstances is that okay.

2. Never touch or kiss ANYONE without expressed consent. People who go to socials aren't fair game and aren't looking to be sexually assaulted by randos. Respect that.

3. Be an asshole. Leave your ego at the door and if you don't like someone- just avoid them and focus on people you do like.

4. Don't have public arguments with your other half - deal with your issues at home.

5. Don't expect miracles to happen- it's just a night out after all and it will mostly depend on how you choose to spend it.

6. Don't be aggressive - any kind of aggression is never tolerated at any reputable organizers event (matter of fact this and points 1, 2 & 3 if broken will likely land you into a permanent blacklist from either one or most organizers events).

7. Stay silent - events are a safe space for like minded people, so if you have any concerns about anything that is going on that you feel shouldn't- do let organizers know immediately, so they can deal with it.

8. Don't expect sex. Socials are exactly what it says on the box - social. "

Great reply x

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By *ozzlesMan
over a year ago

galway


"If in doubt get yer lad out "

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By *ocktailsdreamsMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 26/03/24 19:14:36]

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By *ocktailsdreamsMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If you're going to eat the hot wings always make sure to wash your hands thoroughly!

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By *ady ChatterleyWoman
over a year ago

Athlone

Don't mistake a Social/ M&G for a sex party.

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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago

The bog

Definitely don't take any advice from me or act like me..ha ha.

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By *sopon86Man
over a year ago

louth dublin

Go with no expectations..think of it as if you were going out for one or 2 drinks in the pub..same rules apply.only differance is everybody is on the same page.manners and respect go a long way.and most of all just be yourself.everybody was a newbie at one stage.

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

Mingle but be respectful. Not everyone is after the same thing/People so like everywhere be prepared for rejection as well as making contacts. Try to read the signals but also be cautious when required. Oh, and enjoy yourself

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By *ushin realityCouple
over a year ago

swords


"Definitely don't take any advice from me or act like me..ha ha."

Snap lol

Just treat it as a night out meeting new friends and having the craic, anything else is a bonus

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere


"Definitely don't take any advice from me or act like me..ha ha."

Shift and Drift

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By *exy Social SpiritsCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Mayo


"Definitely don't take any advice from me or act like me..ha ha."

This lady will make anyone welcome at a social..

Shift and drift with her and u will know everyone at end of night

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Don’t be a c*nt

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Good advice and all hosts should be watching the newbies as a bad night can put them off going again.

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By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too"

Well if that's the case, they have no business swinging!

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

This is true but still happens , very odd

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By *eestar10Man
over a year ago

cavan


"Definitely don't take any advice from me or act like me..ha ha."

Definitely taking this on board lol

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By *!nksgirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

IRELAND

Thanks guys

That list is more or less what I mail back to people so I'm glad I'm giving the right tips. I would HATE to be a newbie again...its very daunting isn't it

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

Galway


"If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too"

Chat to the hubby or bf. Allow him to vet you, before chatting to his wife. In fact make a point of meeting all the men in the room.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

Newry


"If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too

Well if that's the case, they have no business swinging! "

Maybe it depends how she's being spoken to, or if the person chatting to her has been a dick to her partner *shrug*. The same goes for women chatting to men

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West


"If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too"

Some guys also forget that they are talking to a couple and focus only on Mrs.

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By *eddybear37Man
over a year ago

everywhere kildare longford


"Don't drink too much

Don't expect sex

Do dress appropriately for a public area

Join the chat group beforehand so that you've been chatting to people going

"

Could not have put it better myself

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By *igglefunWoman
over a year ago

Cork

Comfortable shoes

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
over a year ago

East / North, Cork


"If only the fourth rule happened , lots of hubbys don’t like wifey being chatted too"

Never come across this. Can't imagine it being an issue unless she's being pestered.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

If a couple are having a bit of a domestic it might have nothing to do with fab or the social.

It might be just real life and domestics do happen

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By *eddybear37Man
over a year ago

everywhere kildare longford


"Comfortable shoes"
are u packing a spare pair for me

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Useless advice when hubby is insecure

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

None of the above happens , as I am always respectful and mannerly , the facts are some husbands are Insecure and can’t hide it.

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

It can be that too, their issues , I’ve come across it couple of times as have other men , wife’s is all chat and hubby just plainly rude , but having said that have met plenty of pleasant couples.

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By *astelloWoman
over a year ago

Far far away

I remember my 2nd social as a solo female. I was petrified. The walk into the venue was so scary. But just be yourself. Find the host theyre usually there to help mingle. And lots of nervous people there too..

Enjoy and have no expectations.

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

Need flat shoes for dancing or just in case your heels are hurting you!!

Don't drink too much before the main event!!

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By *eathguy200Man
over a year ago

trim

Think I would find it terrifying..

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"Think I would find it terrifying.. "

Always nerve-wrecking at the start but each organised social you go to, it gets easier and easier because you know more people!!

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By *eathguy200Man
over a year ago

trim

Thanks, Quiet lad and not a chatter box which wouldn't help.. but the more people you get to know would probably make it easier

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"Thanks, Quiet lad and not a chatter box which wouldn't help.. but the more people you get to know would probably make it easier"

Not necessarily, I'm a social butterfly anyway, I go around chatting to everybody lol!!! I find going to the pre-drinks before the main event is good but get there early, like at 7pm rather than 8pm, it's not so overwhelming then!!

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By *eathguy200Man
over a year ago

trim


"Thanks, Quiet lad and not a chatter box which wouldn't help.. but the more people you get to know would probably make it easier

Not necessarily, I'm a social butterfly anyway, I go around chatting to everybody lol!!! I find going to the pre-drinks before the main event is good but get there early, like at 7pm rather than 8pm, it's not so overwhelming then!! "

Thanks for the advice. Very kind x

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

Don't drink too much

Don't be pushy

Don't wear high heels if you can't walk in them

Don't have any expectations

Don't judge anyone without talking to them first

.

Do turn up to the social even if you leave an hour later.

Do make sure to meet the organisers and chat to them for a while so they get a better feel for what you're like!

Don't worry about the nerves, everyone gets them and there'll be other newbies going so you won't be alone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys

That list is more or less what I mail back to people so I'm glad I'm giving the right tips. I would HATE to be a newbie again...its very daunting isn't it "

There's a lot of great advice in this thread for newbies, however I think seasoned attendees need to keep themselves in check too. Some of the worst behaviour I've encountered, which is rare, has been from those who should know better.

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By *ACOLCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

[Removed by poster at 27/03/24 15:20:56]

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

Yeah your 100% right on that

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By *igglefunWoman
over a year ago

Cork


"Comfortable shoes are u packing a spare pair for me "

Have roller blades in

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By *eathguy200Man
over a year ago

trim

Thak you

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I went to my first social on my own and the organisers invited me to meet them earlier in the day and they introduced to others as they arrived.

I've never seen an organiser do this or even introduce newbies at the event at any other mng I've been to since.

It's impossible to be social at many socials because of the music volume and having to shout out your fab name to a stranger isn't ideal and wedding planner seating arrangements makes it even more difficult to mingle and get to know people because you have to approach an entire table rather than an individual.

I've been in venues with 100 people that would struggle to fit half that number.

I've left one event because of the male half of a well established and multi verified couple pestering my friend for sex from the moment he walked into the room.

Every time he got knocked back by other women there he came back to our table and started again so we left.

We reported them to the organisers and were told they would pass the details to every other event planner but unfortunately based on subsequent verifications at socials, it's obvious that this didn't happen.

I've also been told before certain events that there was no chatgroup and then asked by people who have commented in this thread why I wasn't in the chatgroup?

These are all things that I'm sure anyone organising these events are well aware of but are all reasons that I and others I'm aware of don't get excited about the social scene and are reluctant to attend future events because we expect more of the same.

Some of the most ignorant and unwelcoming people I've come across have been at fab socials with their sense of entitlement as well as inappropriate touching by men and women.

If I was to touch a woman in the way some women feel is acceptable to touch me and others I would like to think I would be removed from the venue immediately.

I'm well aware of the work that goes into setting up and running a social and that it's impossible to keep everyone happy but I would bet that most organisers would prefer honest feedback rather than the repetitive and bland verifications after every event.

I've sat beside complete strangers who have been very vocal on the night about how terrible the DJ was, the poor quality of the food and the behaviour of others and they have left early as a result but then written a veri the next day praising the event and how fucking awesome it was.

Organisers can't be expected to sort out behaviour issues if they aren't reported and they can't be expected to look at seating or music or the standard of food if everyone tells them it was perfect.

I know this is one of those TLDR posts but what's the point in advising newbies on behaviour or what not to do if there are many other issues that people seem reluctant to admit to?

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"Thanks guys

That list is more or less what I mail back to people so I'm glad I'm giving the right tips. I would HATE to be a newbie again...its very daunting isn't it

There's a lot of great advice in this thread for newbies, however I think seasoned attendees need to keep themselves in check too. Some of the worst behaviour I've encountered, which is rare, has been from those who should know better. "

I agree here I met a few newbies at the Wild West Social in Mayo last month, they were all really nice!!

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By *eddybear37Man
over a year ago

everywhere kildare longford


"Comfortable shoes are u packing a spare pair for me

Have roller blades in"

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By *enelopexxxxWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

It’s natural to want to stick with the same sex meeting new people, guys with guys and girls with girls. But try to push yourself outside your comfort zone and mix with others. Some people will find it easier to “work the room” than others. Even just aim to meet one or two new people from the gender you seek, you’ll probably not get chatting to everyone at the social properly. I find you get out of a social the effort you put into it. Some great advise above.

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By *eftariiMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Some Great advice and tips on here!

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By *akeachance69Man
over a year ago

Donegal

Only went to my 1st a week's back... and the best advice is not to over think what's in store for yeah.

It is simply a night out with others that are like minded. And try talk to as many as you can. It's not about drink or sex it's all about getting to know others. If you get lucky all the better

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By *udding RoseWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there


"Only went to my 1st a week's back... and the best advice is not to over think what's in store for yeah.

It is simply a night out with others that are like minded. And try talk to as many as you can. It's not about drink or sex it's all about getting to know others. If you get lucky all the better "

More like a few weeks ago but yeah I agree with what you said!!

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By *ezoMan
over a year ago

The Kingdom

All the advice on this thread is valid and worth adhering to.

When I went to my first M&G I was nervous and shy. Was very early and did talk a bit with the organiser before anyone else showed up, I was unaware of a pre-drink session.

But yeah as others have stated, it is a social. So socially unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable. Have common sense and a bit of copon.

Chat with others, you never know what kind of friend you might meet.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

Newry


"Useless advice when hubby is insecure "

If you use "reply & quote" people will know which post you're responding to

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By *wing and a missCouple
over a year ago

somewhere

Some great advice in this thread, we're meant to be going to our first social in May, definitely taking the advice on board

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont be a cock blocker lol

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By *DSGCouple
over a year ago

That place in

If someone chats to you they are been friendly and getting you involved don't presume they want to sleep you as they mighty be your type,remember you mighty be their type

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By *oe Cool xxxMan
over a year ago

South Dublin

There is men at socials who think that just cause a woman smiles at them or gives them attention they’re gonna shag them and then pester them to the point of annoyance.

I met lovely people at socials , Woman, Men , couples but have also met people who are just plain rude for no reason and it’s mostly the hubbies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread and some really informative posts. We haven't been to a social yet but feel more relaxed about attending one now so a big thank you from us two.

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By *exy Social SpiritsCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Mayo


"Only went to my 1st a week's back... and the best advice is not to over think what's in store for yeah.

It is simply a night out with others that are like minded. And try talk to as many as you can. It's not about drink or sex it's all about getting to know others. If you get lucky all the better "

We tried to make it comfortable and stress free for all our newbie...

Glad u enjoyed ur nite at the wild west social...kitty.x

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