FabSwingers.com forum: First dates

By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

Just watched first dates and got me thinking.

First meet = who pays

Hotel meet =who pays

If you're definitely not into your partner, do split the bill or sit back.

Any meanness stories that you're willing to share from the fab world or not?

The help a fabber..(l helped) . He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

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By *ind PaddyMan
35 weeks ago

South County Dublin

I would always pay on first met and if it went further I pay for hotel room plus breakfast

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By *eralt80Man
35 weeks ago

cork

First meet would be who ever asked to meet.

Hotel meet would be 50/50 or evenly split by all

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By *rakesterlingMan
35 weeks ago

Dublin

I don't mind paying for that first coffee / cake meet, it's not gonna break my bank.

Hotel and stuff? Well, we're in this together right, cause we wanna both be here? So 50-50

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By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

The thread got started as l watched first dates, one paid then, the minute was asked to meet again, it was an emphatic no. Like why... If you aren't meeting, why not share the bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

"The thread got started as l watched first dates, one paid then, the minute was asked to meet again, it was an emphatic no. Like why... If you aren't meeting, why not share the bill. "

Only in Kerry

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By *ozzlesMan
35 weeks ago

galway

I'd prefer to pay on a first date. Probably just social conditioning as I can't think of any particular reason other than good manners and that the other person has had to put up with me waffling on and shouldn't have to pay for the privilege

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By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

"I'd prefer to pay on a first date. Probably just social conditioning as I can't think of any particular reason other than good manners and that the other person has had to put up with me waffling on and shouldn't have to pay for the privilege

Need to provide a tips jar on the date then...

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I’d pay for everything.

Ladies should be looked after and treated well.

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By *og-ManMan
35 weeks ago

somewhere

Most hotel meets I've had have been because I'm staying in the hotel for work so hotel is paid for

If I'm having a coffee social I always offer to buy the first one especially as I've asked for the coffee meet in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz.

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By *om TangoMan
35 weeks ago

aughnacloy monaghan area

I’d insist on paying for coffee, cake, buns whatever. If we got on I’d want to pay for hotel room also.

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By *ustBoWoman
35 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

First meet I always go halves I would never expect anyone to pay for me.

The same as any hotel meets I've had we go halves on it.

I don't know why anyone would expect someone else to pay for them. Plus it cuts down on expectations I find if you pay your own way. Both of you want to meet so it's only fair to pay half.

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By *hocko87Man
35 weeks ago

dublin

As a gent I always pay for the first date or two until it was a regular thing then you decided to share

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By *o strings but a G-stringMan
35 weeks ago

city

"Just watched first dates and got me thinking.

First meet = who pays

Hotel meet =who pays

If you're definitely not into your partner, do split the bill or sit back.

Any meanness stories that you're willing to share from the fab world or not?

The help a fabber..(l helped) . He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

To be fair, if the first meet is a "help a fabber" meet than the guy you helped was morally obliged to but you coffee and cake. You were helping him and the only veri he deserved was "I met him and he was tight in the wrong way".

If it's a first date - the person who asked the other out should pay, unless the other has been nasty in what they ordered. Keep things reasonable and appreciate to how the meet is going. Be fair.

If a hotel room is involved it depends on context. Was there a reason one person would have been paying for it regardless of meeting, like work or a planned event that the partner happened to join. But if two people agree to meet for a night, I'd say 50:50 with adjustment for who travelled or circumstances. On my last meet I looked after the room and she the food and toys. That was about a 60:40 split but I was happy with the 60%. I felt it fair. I came twice and she came about a dozen times. It was messy, squirty fun.

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman
35 weeks ago

Antrim Town

I always do a coffee social 1st so I've no issue paying for my own, then I know there's nothing weird in it. Hotel meet after the social I'm happy to go halfers or do the take turns thing if its going to be a regular arrangement.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

Would always expect 50/50. Unless the room was paid for by work or something. Paying someone else's expenses creates a power imbalance which is unhelpful. Once it's 50/50 then anyone can walk away at any time without guilt or consequence.

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By *ezoMan
35 weeks ago

The Kingdom

While a part of me will always say I pay for the 1st meet, I do agree if you are meeting for a verification then the one who asked for it should have the decency to pay and not just for tap water for the verifier.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz. "

I was confused by this too. Who pays for what shouldn't have any bearing on someone getting verified or not

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By *irdnBorisMan
35 weeks ago

meath

If im meeting someone i pay as its the right thing to do same with hotel thats just the way i am

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

"If im meeting someone i pay as its the right thing to do same with hotel thats just the way i am

How would you feel if you paid for dinner, drinks at the bar, hotel bill, and everything for a whole evening and night, and then she changed her mind about touching you at the last min?

It's that power balance that creates an unhealthy situation where he may have expectations and she might feel pressured. Half/half

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By *ealitybitesMan
35 weeks ago

Belfast

I don't agree with the bs that a gent should pay for everything because then the sex becomes transactional.

He's paid for the room so I owe him a shag thought process.

I don't meet without a social and I'm happy buying coffee etc and more often than not there will be a second social before any discussion about hotels and the woman is more than welcome to pay for coffee on that occasion.

Hotel bills will always be split as will distance travelled to cut down on expectations on either side.

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By *aseylee324Couple
35 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

"If im meeting someone i pay as its the right thing to do same with hotel thats just the way i am

How would you feel if you paid for dinner, drinks at the bar, hotel bill, and everything for a whole evening and night, and then she changed her mind about touching you at the last min?

It's that power balance that creates an unhealthy situation where he may have expectations and she might feel pressured. Half/half"

Absolutely, although men always seem to insist on buying coffee in my experience. Sometimes I preempt by just getting my own before joining him. Or if I suggested the coffee I'll point out that the invite was on my side.

Rooms we pay because we will be staying, they/he will be leaving!

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
35 weeks ago

South Down

I'll want to split the bill regardless

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

"I don't agree with the bs that a gent should pay for everything because then the sex becomes transactional.

He's paid for the room so I owe him a shag thought process.

Hotel bills will always be split as will distance travelled to cut down on expectations on either side.

I agree 100% on above.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I split always I don't like the thought of someone paying and then maybe sex happens, just feels transactional even though it isn't really. There can be an expectation also if I allow them to pay. So I get my own even if it's just a coffee.

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By *udding RoseWoman
35 weeks ago

Somewhere out there

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz.

I was confused by this too. Who pays for what shouldn't have any bearing on someone getting verified or not "

Was confused myself too.....because the guy bought his coffee and cake and didn't get you anything op, he doesn't get verified!?

The guy did the respectful thing and turned up (not all turn up for these coffee meets to get verified, too many timewasters) so for that reason I'd have verified him whether he bought a coffee or not! I'd have given him some advice on things alright......

I wouldn't hold it against him for not buying you coffee or cake!!

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By *s LollyWoman
35 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

If it's a coffee meet and depending on who's there first sometimes id pay or let them pay if they ask....

Hotel meets if im away and looking for company ill pay it's my hotel, if it's organise between the two of us id always insist on paying half it's only fair.....

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By *cottybear74Man
35 weeks ago

kilkenny

If it's coffee or lunch and i ask then I'll pay for it.

If it's a hotel play meet and again if I am the one who asked I will pay.

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By *ealitybitesMan
35 weeks ago

Belfast

The only hotel related issue I've ever had was on my very first fab meet when I had paid for the room but walked out and left the woman there because she was a fruitloop.

Travelling distances have been more of an issue and the expectation that because I had driven 3½ hours I must be keen to fuck her and there was nothing to stop me doing it again and again if and when she was horny.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

"The only hotel related issue I've ever had was on my very first fab meet when I had paid for the room but walked out and left the woman there because she was a fruitloop.

The reason we don't allow anyone to travel far specifically to meet us, is that it creates expectations. Particularly for social meets as they may think that the expense and time taken for them means something is owed. We always say you don't need to travel here and back once, you need to be happy to do it twice as the first is a social. In reality we may play on a first date, but it's best to assume the worst and set expectations for that.

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

I let people pay for coffee or a

vithit, anything less than a €5er,

Anything more I pay for myself. If I feel like something substantial and they only have a tea, I might pay it all, if I get the chance.

If someone is obviously mean, it ll turn me off them, but I ll still give the veri, but maybe a short one.

I think I know what the OP was getting at, like the help a fabber out, coffee and veri dates. When you meet someone who is trying to get established on fab and they are not gracious about it. Yep, that happens a lot.

Suit yourself, only meet people if it suits you, expect nothing not even a coffee and only put yourself out if you want a social chit chat.

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

"The only hotel related issue I've ever had was on my very first fab meet when I had paid for the room but walked out and left the woman there because she was a fruitloop.

I m the same, always a social meet, always tell people to just let me know when they are passing by. Don't travel long distance for a 15 minute chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

the man pays for it all it’s the done thing if the lady asks to pay that’s fine but it should always be man

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

By the way, I ve started meeting people for a McDs drive thru coffee, which I believe are €2, let them pay for that, no biggie, coffee and chat and head away again.

Avoid all the paying drama.

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

I must say in PDI and the swingers resorts in general, the expectation is that the men pay. Not saying it's right or wrong.

What I find weird, is these dommy men, who want to be dominant, but then split bills..... Lols... They are only dommy when it suits them, quite happy to be pampered and babied when their dom fantasy is over.

I m not into Don's or subs, prefer sensible equity in all things.

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By *electableicecreamMan
35 weeks ago

The West

I don't overthink who pays for a coffee. Same as if I'm there with a friend. It's usually whoever gets to the till first. Usually the other person pays if there's a second coffee. That feels natural.

I've always split hotel bills unless they only come round for a couple of hours in which case I just ask them for a percentage of the time in the room.

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By *ealitybitesMan
35 weeks ago

Belfast

"The only hotel related issue I've ever had was on my very first fab meet when I had paid for the room but walked out and left the woman there because she was a fruitloop.

I've never travelled more than an hour for a one on one social meet.

I drove 3½ hours just once to a fab event but the woman believed I was there to meet her and insisted that it was only 3½ hours which was nothing really if she was horny.

There was no expectation on my part.

I've gone to social meets knowing it was going no further and I was never going to see the person again but it was a good way of touching base after chatting for so long.

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By *og-ManMan
35 weeks ago

somewhere

"I must say in PDI and the swingers resorts in general, the expectation is that the men pay. Not saying it's right or wrong.

I m not into Don's or subs, prefer sensible equity in all things. "

My first year in PDI and for a single man it was 50 into the club

So a woman in the group in the pub who I never met offered to go in with me as a couple so I paid the 30 entry fee in for both of us and split the 4 free drinks

She actually showed me around the club into the play areas and explained all the rules which I appreciated

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By *electableicecreamMan
35 weeks ago

The West

"I don't overthink who pays for a coffee. Same as if I'm there with a friend. It's usually whoever gets to the till first. Usually the other person pays if there's a second coffee. That feels natural.

I've always split hotel bills unless they only come round for a couple of hours in which case I just ask them for a percentage of the time in the room."

I'm joking about the hotel costs btw...

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By *voidingboredomMan
35 weeks ago

around

I've always split hotel bills unless they only come round for a couple of hours in which case I just ask them for a percentage of the time in the room.

I'm joking about the hotel costs btw..."

Glad you clarified

although it would not at all surprise me from some people.

Ill automatically pay for coffee unless I'm told a person or couple wants to keep things separate.

Although if there's more additions like cream, flavour shots, caramel drizzle then I'd have more of an issue with that morally then paying for a hotel room financially that doesn't get used

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

My first trip to PDI, a fab guy joined me, well followed me over the following day. I ld met him before. He offered to pay half the accommodation bill, which would have been €300, but I said no, why don't you treat me to meals and clubs instead while you are over here.

He treated me for the first day, paid into a day party and night club, paid for dinner and drinks. So I guess he spent about €150 on me, absolute maximum.

He lost his card in the club, spent the next day onto the bank cancelling it and having a drama fit over it. €90 was spent on it before it was cancelled.

After that he decided that his flights and car parking were more expensive than my travel expenses.... And he reigned in his spending.... Lols.

I was there Fri to Fri and he was there Sat to Wed, so he wasn't spending any more money on me (room % expenses) lols, never again, after that I said I would never share accommodation again, just do my own thing.

I wouldn't mind but the guy is minted. He had initially wanted to stay in Venus at about €1600 for the week but it was booked out. So I paid at least two thirds of the accommodation costs, he got the cheaper couples prices into the clubs, and I had the discomfort of having to share my space with a loony drama llama.

Never again... Lols.

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By *iscuits8Man
35 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

I don't have a set rule for food/treats/drinks/hotels really. There are a few variables, people travel different distances, some may be a little bit comfortable contributing more financially etc etc.

I'm definitely not stingy anyways.

I tend to get the coffees & treats in, sure it's the least I can do if someone's been mad enough to sit and listen to my drivel for an hour or two...

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By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz. "

What l mean was l wasnt even asked. I was helping him out. Basic courtesy should prevail. Its about sheer meanness. Quid pro quo etc.

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By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

Btw.. Dont get caught up on my example above... I feel like lm being vilified for what was essentially a question on fairness, expectations, and balance. In terms of verification, the coffee issue was merely an indication of his personality and l wasn't happy to verify. There were other issues. Which brings full circle to aren't all veris positive... Do we believe them cos they got them.

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

I get you Castello.

I met a guy I had no interest in because he pestered and he met me at a place down the road from me. He wanted a veri so he could apply to go to RVC.

So I obliged him during my lunch . He insisted on buying me a tea/coffee, INSISTED, but nothing else.

I wanted a sandwich, it was my lunch hour, I would have paid for myself. It was just too awkward in front of the staff, so I let him buy me a cup of tea, endured him for 20 mins, pumping me for info. Revealing v little about himself. I verified him, but along the lines of "this is a genuine human being who I met for tea".

Mean and his rules, entitled. No wonder he had no veris.

He was happy with the veri, as it said nothing. Turns out he was married etc. Married, mean, cagey, no fun. Why bother?

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By *astello OP Woman
35 weeks ago

Far far away

Absolutely this... There should be no pressure to verify. This was a help a fabber situation.

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By *electableicecreamMan
35 weeks ago

The West

There can't be any obligation to verify someone. The whole point of the system is that it functions as an endorsement.

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

I'd see verification as just an indication that they turned up and that they were the sex / approx age that they claimed to be, rather than someone that someone was attracted to. I guess I'd verify regardless unless I felt they were creepy / poss dangerous. I totally get that not everyone feels the same tho and that's fine.

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By *iscuits8Man
35 weeks ago

Meath / Dublin / Birmingham

I haven't really bothered my arse with verifications lately. The last veri I got straight after meeting someone was 18 months ago, I've had several meetups since with a couple of people since but bleh, doesn't really bother me if it's public that I met them or not.

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By *s LollyWoman
35 weeks ago

The pub then supermacs ...

I stopped paying attention to verfies a long time ago, in the past ive met people socialy as well as play meets left them verfies and got nothing in return, yet they have verfied others...

At a social night i met and spent the evening and night with someone left them a verfie again nothing back yet they chatting to someone at the bar for a few minutes and left them a paragraph vetfie, so now i don't bother my arse anymore

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By *ealitybitesMan
35 weeks ago

Belfast

I've met people socially more than once and verified them each time and for their own reasons they have never displayed my verification or verified me in return.

They regularly display new verifications and verify others so I have to assume that they don't want others to know they have met me.

I won't be meeting them again unless it's accidental so it doesn't bother me and never has done.

It's more funny than anything and all part of fab politics.

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By *chochamberWoman
35 weeks ago

Munster

Yes, it's a funny one. I think the married men, playing away are often the meanest. Don't want to be seen socially, having a coffee.

I ve been told I have enough veris by people looking for a veri lols.

I ld verify the neighbourhood cat, to say yes this is a cat. The whole thing is nonsense anyway, any one can turn up and be polite enough to warrant, "nice guy, had coffee, social, sound". They are just part of the overall profile and impression that someone creates.

Lolly, the ones verifying the people at the bar and not you, are the chasers. If they ve had you already they don't need to do the work, if they want the stranger at the bar, they need to try hard to impress, it's a new challenge for them (IMO).

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By *ilthyNightsCouple
35 weeks ago

East / North, Cork

It does rent really matter once you've got a handful of them. We rarely bother. If you're unverified though it does mean something

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By *ot Pins2000Woman
35 weeks ago

belfast

Regarding paying - I have paid on a few occasions and haven’t got an issue with it. I have been lucky that most of the people I have met for socials have been lovely and have paid / offered to pay. There is never any expectation on my part that it will be paid for. Rooms - I always would expect to pay my share and have it ready.

Regarding veri’s - it’s true that we only see the veri’s that people made visible and usually I can tell by how it’s written as to what the person is like. If there are no veri’s then gotta take a chance sometimes. I’m happy to verify others but don’t need them myself - would rather keep those for the proper meets

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By *udding RoseWoman
35 weeks ago

Somewhere out there

"Btw.. Dont get caught up on my example above... I feel like lm being vilified for what was essentially a question on fairness, expectations, and balance. In terms of verification, the coffee issue was merely an indication of his personality and l wasn't happy to verify. There were other issues. Which brings full circle to aren't all veris positive... Do we believe them cos they got them. "

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By *ewcorkcpl23Couple
35 weeks ago

Cork

I always think situations like paying for first date meals etc all come from the way one is rated. Here I've always been taught that manners cost nothing aswell as being nice and courteous to people leave a better impression than anything. I would always pay for a first date meal even if asked to split 50/50, I can get some lady's feel that's a bit old fashioned but sometimes those old fashionable ways are still the best.

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By *on Juan the MADridMan
35 weeks ago

Lisbon/ North England/ Wales/ Madrid/

First meet up (coffee, snacks). I pay at least she wants to and insists, no problem.

Hotel. If I am on business trip a nice hotel is free, no problem.

Hotel: if after an initial coffee meet up we agree to arrange a second one in a hotel I pay as well. Third and onwards to be agreed.

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By *intage AmigosCouple (MM)
35 weeks ago

Northsider...D69

"First meet up (coffee, snacks). I pay at least she wants to and insists, no problem.

Hotel. If I am on business trip a nice hotel is free, no problem.

Hotel: if after an initial coffee meet up we agree to arrange a second one in a hotel I pay as well. Third and onwards to be agreed. "

I would the the same...pay 1st social & pay 1st hotel meet room.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I think it depends on the situation. I don't mind splitting the bill for first social meets but I understand that not everyone can afford a decent hotel and I'm a very VERY picky person.

I've been taken to a pretty ratty little place for a daytime thing in Palmerstown once and since then I've sworn off anything like that.

I once picked up a guy from an event in D8, went trawling for hotels at 3AM in Dublin by taxi, paid rack rate but had such a good time that I chalked it up to the same as if I paid for a swish spa break.

The poor kid was a single dad from out of town who booked a dorm to attend the event in Dublin. I said, no way. We're going to a hotel.

After a hot night, we slept, woke up, more fun.

Then we went out for brunch. Fantastic.

Another guy I met on a dating app and he had a nice hotel booked in Dun Laoghaire. He was German. We had a blast touring Dublin, eating out, then kinky sex back at hotel.

I don't give a carp, I don't expect or assume. I just live life to its fullest. I just don't want bad experiences. Had my fill of those and I'm old and wise enough to avoid dodgy experiences in dodgy hotels - regardless of who pays.

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By *ozzlesMan
35 weeks ago

galway

I've always split hotel bills unless they only come round for a couple of hours in which case I just ask them for a percentage of the time in the room.

I'm joking about the hotel costs btw..."

You had me there, I was just starting to type out a WTF message

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By *carlett!Woman
35 weeks ago

On a social meet I'd generally buy my own drink before they arrive, saves any confusion or expectation. Hotel meets always 50/50. If it's a regular thing/situation & it's the others birthday or whatever then I like to cover cost as a treat

Regarding veri's, I always get the line about me not needing them. I find that ridiculous. I like having the veri to remind me of the interaction. It shouldn't factor in how many previous veri's a person has. I find it very rude when someone does not verify back, especially if they display my veri to them

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
35 weeks ago

sligo

I'm presuming he went got his coffee and cake and never offered to buy anything for the person who took time out of her day to help him.

Yes,I would have a problem with this if that's what happened.

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By *traight sligoguy67Man
35 weeks ago

sligo

And first date I would pay,hotel I would say 50/50

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By *enuineGuy2024Man
35 weeks ago

Arnold

There was a guy in here who fucked my missus a few times behind my back who was actually in First Dates Ireland…. The date didn’t go too well and she didn’t want to meet him again and then it was all over the Lakers that she had commited suicide. She was a world class bikini model I think.

He was a dick every time I met him…. But the ex missus seemed to like him… or so I found out after we split.

I just feel sorry for the poor girl from the tv show …. Rip

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz.

What l mean was l wasnt even asked. I was helping him out. Basic courtesy should prevail. Its about sheer meanness. Quid pro quo etc."

"Quid pro quo etc."....

Ok...."Quid pro quo" etc.".... = A favour for a favour.. never heard it before....that saying "Quid pro quo" etc....

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

" He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope

^^^^^^^

I don't understand what you mean OP when you say.... "He bought his coffee and cake, drank it and l got my tap water... He wanted his veri after... Ah nope"

You wouldn't verify him cos he wanted coffee & cake & you wanted tap water..

It doesn't make sense to me soz.

What l mean was l wasnt even asked. I was helping him out. Basic courtesy should prevail. Its about sheer meanness. Quid pro quo etc.

"Quid pro quo etc."....

Ok...."Quid pro quo" etc.".... = A favour for a favour.. never heard it before....that saying "Quid pro quo" etc....

I get ya OP.....an Ignorant Man

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By *ominanTeeMan
34 weeks ago

Sligo

oh this topic needs to stop being brought up, in fairness, if ya still arent sure how etiquette works around dates, joint excursions bills, you need more than advice on that. particular matter.

Invited - free meal if they so wish, or pay own way if that suits them better

inviter - at least expect to pay for inviteds meal as well as own, unless specifically told not to.

joint plan - split bill, unless one wants to pay out of kindness or generosity and the other is happy to allow it. otherwise, like adults, come to an agreement on what works for both parties.

final word. no one owes anyone jack shit, expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed......

bye now lol

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By *ogladyWoman
34 weeks ago

The bog

Obe bought people coffee and people have bought me coffee on a social meet I'm not bothered about who buys as it's only coffee...the only hotel meets I e really done are ones at socials and I e paid cause it's my room for the night most of the time when I arrange a play meet they normally come to mine or I go to there's so no cost involved...if there was to be a hotel play meet then definitely would split the cost...

I ha e to say I do look at people veris before meeting them most of the time and usually when I see veris from people I know I more likely to meet that person for a social..

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By *adger BrocMan
34 weeks ago

Co. Cork

If I ask someone to meet for coffee/lunch/hotel meet I would always expect to pay first time. If on subsequent meets someone offers to pay or split the bill that's fine too.

I am very proud of my verifications and very grateful to the people who took the trouble of meeting me and writing a veri. I am always happy to give veris if the person i met seems sane and safe.

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By *oo32Man
34 weeks ago

tipperary

Whoever asks for the date pays

Hotels,would have to say 1/2 and 1/2

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By *elle111Woman
34 weeks ago

"I've met people socially more than once and verified them each time and for their own reasons they have never displayed my verification or verified me in return.

They regularly display new verifications and verify others so I have to assume that they don't want others to know they have met me."
I have 2 veris I don’t display. One was incorrect as I had never met the people and the other the guy had gone into too much detail and that just isn’t stuff I would want people to know.

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By *axlecool03Man
34 weeks ago

Dublin

I would always offer to pay … and even do it if i get an opportunity to and she agrees … i wont let money ruin the fun …

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"I've met people socially more than once and verified them each time and for their own reasons they have never displayed my verification or verified me in return.

They regularly display new verifications and verify others so I have to assume that they don't want others to know they have met me. I have 2 veris I don’t display. One was incorrect as I had never met the people and the other the guy had gone into too much detail and that just isn’t stuff I would want people to know. "

I had to block someone I had met several times to remove my verification on his account cos he turned into a stalker, he appeared 'normal' for quite a long time but I was shocked that he was actually a wolf in sheep's clothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

How honest are verifications?

Reading between the lines is absolutely necessary.

If the verification isn't pleasing to the recipient they don't display. So what's the point of leaving a negative one ?

*Low murmuring growl*

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"I would always offer to pay … and even do it if i get an opportunity to and she agrees … i wont let money ruin the fun …"

Exactly....Don't "let money ruin the fun"....I would never ever expect someone to buy me anything on a first meet or subsequent meets ever.

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